Ready for Love?
by LadyExcalibur2010
Summary: It seemed like such a good idea at the time... Now seniors Bella and Edward are faced with a life-changing event. Really, they should have just used a condom. A lesson learned. Right?
1. Chapter 1

I don't own these characters. Which is really a damned shame since I have so much fun playing with them. I've based this story on personal experiences in my own family. If you read my bio, you'll notice that I have a granddaughter, LOL!

Rated M for excessive potty mouth and future lemons.

**Ready for Love?**

It's official. I. Am. So. Fucked.

I peered over Bella's shoulder, taking one more look at the damned test stick. It was shaking a lot. Wait. That was Bella's hand. We both just stared at it with a sort of sick look on our faces. You know that look people get when they're rubber necking at a really bad accident? Yeah, that's exactly how we looked. At least our expressions matched. I swallowed hard and looked at Bella again. Anything except looking at that fucking test stick.

"Are you sure you did it right?" I had to ask, even though I knew it was a stupid question and that she would roll her eyes at me.

Which she did – not that I could fucking blame her.

"What the hell do _you_ think?" she hissed. "Besides, the other six all said the same thing."

"Eight's the charm?" I suggested hopefully. I didn't even try to smile, because I knew it would come off sick and desperate and pretty much ready to wet myself. Which I was.

"We're fucked," she wailed quietly.

"You think?" I couldn't help the bite of sarcasm in my voice. I tended to get snarky when I was scared. And at the moment I was fucking terrified. Then I saw the expression on her face and I pushed aside my own fears and tried to put myself in her shoes. Her shoes…

Her eighteen-year-old, just-about-to-graduate shoes. Hell, I had a matching pair. Not that I'm a cross dresser or anything, but both of us had a graduation ceremony coming up in less than six months. But now we were both fucked. Totally and royally fucked. And it was our damned faults. Suddenly, messing around at Thanksgiving didn't seem like such a good idea. Of course, my whole life most of the shit that had gotten me in trouble had seemed like a really good idea at the time.

And Bella had been so damned hot, with those tight jeans and that low-cut top that hugged all of her curves in just the right way. So I just had to be a dick and pull _out_ my dick and then I had _failed_ to pull out my dick (which was another laugh, we both knew better but we were young and horny and obviously stupid as hell). And now we were both staring at the little plastic test stick that Bella had peed on (I had had to get her another bottle of water for her to pull off that fucking miracle after pissing on six of them in the past half hour).

She slumped against me and I really, really wanted to say something that was inspired and brilliant and just so damned _comforting_ that she would look at me like I was some sort of hero or something, but instead I sort of muttered and mumbled and tried to swallow my own damned tongue, which wasn't fucking inspirational at all.

To top it off, and really there was no place to go from here but straight to Fucksville. Our families were all gathered downstairs to celebrate the New Year because they were all just that damned close and happy to see us together. I had a feeling all of those happy feelings and general feelings of good will would rapidly change as soon as we broke the news. Just thinking about that shit had me breaking out in a cold sweat. I mean, her dad carried a fucking _gun_ for Christ's sake! And I was pretty damned sure that hearing I had not only deflowered his daughter (I really don't think he had any idea we were doing the deed) but impregnated her was not going to make Charlie Swan a very happy man.

I tugged at the collar of my t-shirt, which was suddenly really fucking tight.

"Oh my God," Bella whispered. "My father's gonna kill me!"

"Oh, I think _you're _safe," I muttered. "It's my ass he's gonna want to massacre."

"And he carries a gun," Bella added, like I might have forgotten that little detail. Yeah, _that's_ fucking likely.

"I seem to recall that fact," I answered dryly through clenched teeth. Charlie couldn't really kill me, could he? There would be charges if he did. _Provided they find your body, your horny stupid asshole._

"Sorry," she answered automatically. I noticed that her teeth were going into overtime on her bottom lip. She'd be drawing blood soon if she didn't stop with that shit. I kissed her just to get her to stop and she sort of melted into me and my dick responded just like it always did. Which was pretty fucked up, considering our current situation. Still, he wasn't willing to listen to reason.

That's exactly what had gotten us into trouble in the first place if I remembered correctly. What the hell? We were already fucked, so I pulled her in close and let my hand wander down the back of her jeans.

Shit. What was it with her and the fucking thongs already? She knew that made me hornier than hell. I think that's why she did it. And then I remembered Thanksgiving, when she had sort of cornered me in the game room and we had started making out, nothing heavy. Okay, there was some under the clothing petting going on, but our clothes were still on. Mostly. Sort of.

Anyway, I got a peek of her baby blue thong and the next thing I know my dick is jumping up and down, clapping his hands (figuratively speaking of course) and I'm grinding away on her like our parents aren't less than fifty feet and one floor away.

I'm an idiot, what can I say?

Then Bella wrapped her legs around me and the next thing I know, my dick is sort of sliding past that baby blue thong and straight into paradise. A condom never crossed my mind. Well, not until _after_ the fact and then I admit that I felt a sick twinge in my belly. But that shit happened to other kids, right? Not me. Not Bella. Not _us_.

We had it all planned out. In the fall we'd be going to college together, both of us in dorms the first year, sort of easing our parents into the idea of us living together. Then after college a nice, medium-sized, traditional wedding with a honeymoon in Hawaii, which was totally cliché but we didn't give a shit. It was _our_ honeymoon anyway. Then one day, far, _far_ in the future, we were gonna have three kids. We had decided that three was the perfect number because we wanted to be outnumbered just for shits and giggles. And I figured that my kids were going to be complete shits like me, so maybe if there were three of them they'd be too busy picking on each other to give _us_ too much crap.

Now, of course, all that had been blown to shit. All because of a little stupid plastic test stick that had a on it, plain as fucking day. Or we could go with the ever helpful "pregnant" that had been on the first test stick. Oh yeah, that was much better. No chance of misinterpreting _that_ shit. No matter how you wanted to look at it, we were done. We had officially become an after school special, a cautionary tale for our classmates (Lauren Mallory was gonna have a fucking field day with this shit), a fucking Lifetime movie.

I leaned in close to Bella and kissed her throat, where her pulse was racing almost as fast as mine. "I'm so fucking sorry, Bella."

For the first time in about a week, she laughed. "I seem to remember being a part of this clusterfuck, Cullen."

I was silent for a moment. "So…we're gonna do this?" It suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't even _asked_ Bella what she was thinking at this point, which just goes to show how fucked up my thinking was. That's just the problem, I wasn't thinking, I was _reacting_. And not very well, I might add.

"Uh…" She chewed on her lower lip again. "Well, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that I'm scared as fuck of being a father and I'm even more scared about telling our parents, but…" I shrugged. "I dunno, it just doesn't feel right to…well, you know…"

And it didn't. It was pretty shitty timing, obviously. But that didn't change the fact that the little stranger currently taking up residence in Bella's smoking hot body was part Bella…and part me. It was _us_.

And I just couldn't bring myself to want to destroy us.

So I buried my face in her hair and breathed in her strawberry scent (that always got me hard, even in school which was a fucking inconvenience, let me tell you) and I said the words that changed our lives.

"Yeah, we're gonna do this. Together."


	2. Chapter 2: Focus!

Once again, I don't own these characters or make any money off of them. I just like to torture them. Much of this story is based on personal experience as the mother of a son who found himself in just this situation… Of course, it wasn't nearly as funny at the time. :p

**Chapter 2: Focus!**

_**Bella's POV**_

I took a deep breath and snuggled in closer to him. "Together," I whispered. I tried very hard to take courage and comfort in Edward's obvious willingness to take on this huge change together. I was already scared. Terrified might be a better word. But it would be so much worse if Edward was shaking his head and walking away, muttering something about "Not my problem!"

During the past week or so, my vague concern had bloomed into fear and then a sort of numb, mindless state of perpetual anxiety. My stomach felt twisted up in knots and I was pretty sure it wasn't morning sickness. I was scared sick.

Last week, when I approached Edward at his locker, he had seen something was wrong just by looking at my face. That's one of the things I loved about him, how he was so attuned to my needs and feelings. But just this once, I had been hoping he wouldn't notice. In vain, as it turned out, because his Bella-radar was working just fine. Damn it. Of all the times for him to be the perfect boyfriend, he had picked _now_. And I just wasn't sure I was ready to say the words _out loud_. That made them real.

"Babe," he whispered, looking around to make sure no one was paying attention to us. Luckily, we had been an "item" long enough that no one really bothered anymore. "What's wrong?"

To my horror and surprise, I felt the tears start. And that wasn't a good sign at all. I'd read somewhere (probably the lame health class we were all forced to take) that emotional instability was a symptom of…well, you know. I was feeling pretty damned unstable at the moment and now I was crying in the middle of the senior corridor. That was just great. Like I needed _another_ thing to worry about.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" I murmured, hiding my face in his chest. No one would think anything of that. I was constantly rubbing my face against Edward's chest. He smelled _edible_, even when he was dirty and sweaty. Maybe even more so then. With great effort, I forced my thoughts back on a safer, although far more upsetting path.

"Now?" Edward asked in surprise. I never skipped. I just didn't. Being the police chief's daughter made me high profile enough when it came to bad behavior; I certainly didn't need the principal calling my dad and telling him that I was skipping school. So Edward had given up on talking me into doing ditching class_ months_ ago.

"Yeah," I answered urgently, my face still pressed against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat speed up, but I didn't know if it was because he thought he was going to get lucky or he sensed I had bad news.

Well, I _potentially_ had bad news. After all, I was just a few days later. _But you're never late, Bella._ And I was on the pill. _Yeah, but remember that ear infection? And remember what your doctor said about antibiotics? _Okay, sure, but we used condoms. _Yeah, sure, you used condoms. Every time- except one. Remember the game room?_ _Remember him plowing you up against that wall until you whimpered and then exploded?_ Shut up. God, sometimes I hated that little voice inside my head. She was such a self-righteous bitch at times. _Admit it, Bella, you're scared shitless._

Okay, she had me there.

Edward leaned back, forced my chin up so that he could see my eyes. "Fuck," he hissed. I think he suspected. I mean, he had been there in the game room. He remembered what we had done. And _not_ done, as it were. Suddenly, a line from a play they'd made us read last year came to mind and I really wished it had been something more profound. Instead, all I could think of was "A condom! My kingdom for a condom!"

I giggled, which was pretty typical. The worse things were, the more _serious_ they were, the more likely I was to giggle. I had long considered it a handicap. I had giggled the night I lost my virginity in Edward's bedroom. A lot. Luckily, he had been washing his own sheets for years (since the Wet Dream Incident of 8th Grade, as he liked to call it) so evidence of our indiscretion had never been public knowledge.

And why the hell was I thinking about _laundry_ at a time like this?

Without another word, Edward pulled me past all the lockers, out of the senior corridor, out the double doors that led to the parking lot, through the parking lot, and out into the woods that stretched around the school. I had thought he was taking me to his car, but as soon as he started pacing, I knew why he hadn't.

A nervous Edward needs to pace, and apparently he was already as nervous as I was. Well, almost. I think I pretty much had the market on anxiety cornered at the moment. He was running his hands through his hair, double time, which meant he was really worked up. I usually found that shit sexy as hell, but at the moment it was all I could do to keep from either vomiting or crying like a baby.

God. Baby. Why do I _do_ this shit to myself?

"How late are you?" His voice was low and strained.

"Three days or so," I replied. "Wait. I didn't say anything…" I looked at him and he came to an abrupt halt, grimacing and tugging at his hair. It looked like it would be painful and I wanted to put my hands over his and make him stop. But I was rooted to the spot, like I was one of the trees that surrounded us.

Of course, that might not be a bad idea. Trees didn't get pregnant in high school. Trees didn't have fathers with guns and a boyfriend who looked like he was going to hurl. Maybe being a tree would be okay. Charlie wouldn't shoot a tree, would he?

"Yeah, well, I've been kinda…" He shrugged, his expression still all twisted up like when Emmett had kneed him in the balls, but at least he had stopped pulling his hair. "Since Thanksgiving, I've been kind of wondering…nervous… you know…about…well, about the game room thing." His green eyes flickered up to mine and then back down to the ground. "I was stupid as fuck."

I closed my mouth, since it had fallen open in shock. Honestly, one of the things I had been most worried about was Edward looking at me like I was crazy. But I had forgotten how damned smart my man was and I felt a surge of pride wash over me, which was stupid considering the circumstances. Of course, if we were so fucking _smart_ then how did we end up here?

Hormones, that was my guess. Not to mention the fact that my boyfriend looked like sex on a stick and had a voice better than a phone sex professional. He had this dirty mouth on him that drove me crazy and…

Shit. I really needed to get my thoughts together. Apparently, I was easily distracted. Oh look! Shiny…

Edward put his hands on his hips, they were so slim and sexy and he had the perfect V action going on under that shirt I knew because I –

_Focus, Bella!_

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "Okay, a few days. That's not so bad right?" He looked at me, silently asking for reassurance. "I mean, I'm guessing girls are late all the time and it's not because they're…"

He couldn't say the word either. I was sort of glad to know I wasn't the only one with selective aphasia. That word had been on our SAT list. I don't know why I was thinking about that now. Oh. Right. SAT. College. Screwed. Got it. And the circle is now complete.

Great. I was channeling Obi-Wan Kenobi. _Help me, Obi-Wan. You're my only hope!_

"Sure," I said quickly. "Uh…yeah…I mean, I guess…_some_ girls are late…" I could feel the fire igniting in my face. Sure, I mean, Edward knew I had periods. We were _intimate_ with each other for God's sake! But it wasn't like I usually sat around and discussed my menstrual cycle with him. That was strictly a girl/girl topic of conversation. Though he had a sister and Rosalie didn't seem like the type to be overly squeamish about such things. I could even picture her telling Edward "Don't push me today. I've got PMS and I'm just as likely to deck you as to say hi." Or even, "I'm bleeding like a bitch. Go get me a coke."

Yeah, that would be Rosalie's way. Direct, Blunt. Brutally honest. It was one of the reasons I liked her so much. She was so _unBella_.

"What do you mean, _some_ girls?" Why oh why did Edward have to be so perceptive? Especially now, when I just really wanted him to be a clueless lump? Okay, not really, but I could have used some space to get my own head around it all.

I blushed again, sure that the color on my face was approaching neon status. "I mean…uh…I'm just never…you know…uh…late." Great. Now I sounded mentally disabled. Coupled with my genetic clumsiness, I'm sure I'd have Edward running for his life in about thirty seconds.

Then his arms closed around me and he buried his face in my hair, sniffing it. Again. He had a real hair fetish, or maybe it was a strawberry fetish. I hadn't figured that out yet. I wonder if he'd like me covered in strawberries…

_Focus!_

Yeah, I could do that. I could focus. Then I felt his erection pressing against my belly and that was really fucking sexy until I remembered what might be _in_ my belly and I sort of lost the mood, if you know what I mean. There's just nothing sexy about teenage pregnancy.

Oh shit. I shouldn't have thought that word. I had been really, _really_ careful not to even think the word. Now I had probably jinxed myself.

_Oh yeah, Bella. That's it. It wouldn't have anything to do with that unprotected sex you had up against the game room wall now would it?_

No. Shut up. I hate you.

And then I started crying again.


	3. Chapter 3: Grope Session

Once again, I don't own these characters or make any money off of them. I just like to torture them.

**Chapter 3: Grope Session**

Okay. So we knew. For sure. In no uncertain terms. Seven pregnancy tests had confirmed it for us in glorious technicolor and in language so plain that even stupid, horny teenagers got the message. Bella was pregnant. And I had done the deed.

Pregnant. Fuck. Even the word was enough to make me start to hyperventilate.

Last week, when Bella had walked up to me at my locker, I just fucking _knew_. I had been waiting for days for her to start rubbing at her belly like she did when she got cramps, or to start shoving chocolate down her throat after school. It was sort of cute, actually. I always kept an extra bar of Dove dark chocolate in my glove box for just such emergencies. Hey, I love Bella and I really try not to be a _total _dick, although as an 18 year-old guy that shit pretty much happens all the time whether I mean it to or not. Besides, once I had appeased her appetite for chocolate, she was usually in a much better mood. I considered chocolate a small price to pay to soothe the savage beast. Luckily she never got bitchy like Rosalie did. Of course, bitchy was pretty much the norm for Rosalie.

But there had been nothing. Not a cramp, not a single request for a candy bar. Not even a longing glance at a Hershey's kiss. And that shit made me nervous as fuck. Her boobs were tender, though. Oh yeah, they were tender as fuck. I had found that shit out when I started to squeeze them the morning before in the car. An early morning grope was generally a good way to start the day, and one of my favorites actually. Usually Bella was on the same wavelength, so it was a mutually agreeable arrangement. Sometimes she even returned the favor, just groping a little lower.

That morning, however, she had slapped my hands away with irritation and looked at me like I was a pervert or something. And as if I hadn't had her boobs in my palms like a million times already. I might have considered this a good sign, because sometimes her tits got sensitive around her period. But this was different. Usually, she'd just tell me "be easy" or "don't be an animal" or some shit like that, but still let me play. Not this time. After she slapped my hands, she crossed her arms over her chest, cupping them real good in her own hands (which made me even hornier), and giving me the message quite clearly that the boobs were out of bounds and were not allowed to come out and frolic. Well…shit.

Which was probably not such a big deal, considering all the _other_ shit she let me get away with on every other morning, though I admit I really _did_ enjoy a little groping before school. It sort of woke me up and got me ready to face the day. Better than Starbucks any day. Come on. I'm a guy and those are… well, they're fucking boobs. What's not to like? But I knew that there'd be no boobs that morning. Which certainly didn't put the day off to a good start and I felt cranky and out of sorts. Not that Bella gave a shit. She was cranky all on her own.

The next day was worse of course. Because Bella finally confirmed what I had known all along. No period. Nothing. No belly ache, not a twinge. Not even some fucking spotting, which was gross as hell to think about, but when you compare it to your girlfriend being pregnant it isn't really such a bad thing. So Bella broke the news, or I guessed, whatever. Anyway, we decided to play the waiting game for a while because as bad as the suspicion was, it wasn't nearly as bad as having something confirmed. And until we had proof, we could pretty much pretend like it wasn't happening.

Of course, that shit only goes so far and after a week and still no fucking period (it was fucking weird how I had started to obsess about something that usually nothing more than a unpleasant inconvenience), I knew I couldn't stand the uncertainty another fucking moment.

So I bought a pregnancy test. Well, I bought _six_ of them because if one is good then six is obviously better. Bella bought one. She was pretty much ready to take the word of the first test, but I wanted that shit _confirmed_, if you know what I mean. And she had used all seven tests. Every single fucking one of them gave us the same bad news.

Pregnant. Positive. Pregnant. Pregnant. Positive. Positive. I think they ought to make one that just spells it out – You. Are. Fucked.

Even without that, we got the picture. We had screwed up. Big time. I tried to concentrate really hard on the feeling of Bella in my arms. As bad as it was – and it was pretty fucking bad, let's be honest – it could have been worse. I mean, I could have knocked up some girl I didn't care about, some casual fling. I could only imagine how much more fucked up this would be if I was looking at that stupid plastic test stick standing by someone like Lauren, or even worse, Jessica (God help me if I had a squealer for a kid – I swear I'd off myself). Just the thought was almost enough to make my dick shrivel up and fall off. Almost. Which would have been a damned shame since I still –proving once more that I'm a horny motherfucker– hoped to use it again on Bella. Someday. Okay I was fucking good for today but I didn't think she was exactly in the mood.

Anyway, if it had gone down that way, with someone I didn't care about, I would have been linked to some girl for the _rest of my fucking life_, because let's face it, you can have ex-girlfriends but you can't have ex-kids (though I'm sure my parents were about to be tempted to try). If this had to happen, and it was my own damned fault that it had, then at least it was with _Bella_.

She was my life. My everything. Somehow, someway, we'd make it through this shit storm because we'd do it together. Exactly how we'd do that, I didn't have a fucking clue. Of course, I'd only known for sure that I was going to be a father for about twelve fucking minutes, so I was cutting myself a_ little_ slack. I hadn't really had time to formulate some brilliant plan.

A father.

Shit. I was barely a man. In fact, I guess it was safe to say I hadn't even earned _that_ title yet. I was a fucking kid, and now we were going to_ have_ a kid. How fucked up was that? Then I realized that Bella was trembling against me and I heard her mumbling. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…"

In spite of the shit storm we found ourselves in, I had to laugh. When I'd first met Bella, the worst word to come out of her pretty mouth was crap. A year with me had started to add a little filth to her vocabulary, though she usually still blushed when she let the "F" bomb drop. I thought it was cute as hell. I still did, even now. Maybe _especially_ now. Maybe I just needed to laugh.

And maybe I just had just lost my fucking mind. I was going with option C right about now.

I took a deep breath and tried to make sure my voice didn't break or anything, because nothing inspires confidence like a squeaky voice, right? "So…when do you want to tell them?"

I figured it was sort of like ripping off a band aid – quick and brutal. Get that shit over with and deal with the pain. Bella usually tugged hers off a little at a time, hissing and wincing the whole time. It annoyed the shit out of me so I usually just reached over and ripped them off and let her scream about it for a minute. Then she'd snuggle up close and thank me. Who could figure girls out?

Bella just buried her face in my chest, giving it a good long sniff. I rolled my eyes as I sniffed back. Her hair smelled fucking fantastic, though now every time I passed the strawberries at the fucking grocery store I got a hard on. How embarrassing is that shit?

"We can't put it off too long, Bella," I reminded her. "It's not like our…uh…problem is going to get any better."

"Or smaller," she added and then started up with a fit of the giggles. God, that girl laughed at the weirdest shit. Suddenly, she stopped and looked up at me, chewing on that bottom lip again. One day she was going to chew it right the fuck off. Which would be a damn fucking shame considering what she could do with that mouth of hers.

Oops. That was probably not something appropriate to be thinking as we're discussing how to inform our parents that not only have we been fucking (a lot) but that I've managed to get Bella pregnant, even though I had a brand new box of condoms in my room (they don't do much good unless you actually fucking _use_ them) and Bella was on the pill (stupid ear infection).

"Can we at least wait until after New Year's?" Bella asked in a small voice. "I don't want to ruin it for _everyone_."

She was right. Our year, our lives maybe, were already pretty much fucked up beyond all redemption. But the least we could do is give our families one last hoorah before they realized what fuck ups their kids were. Of course, there was one _tiny_ little bright spot. I couldn't wait to see Renee's face when she realized she was going to be a _grandma_.

Maybe it wasn't Charlie I'd have to watch out for.

And what about the rest of our friends and family? Rosalie was going to kill me._ After _she castrated me, of course. And then there was Bella's best friend, Alice. Alice would be looking for a big, sharp knife (preferably rusty, though I'd die of Rosalie's wrath before I died from blood poisoning) and someone to help hold me down when she got wind of the news. Her twin sister Angela would volunteer to assist in their little renovation project, I'm sure.

Shit. Twins.

Another fucking thing to worry about. That sort of shit ran in families. It wasn't catchy though, was it? No. that was ridiculous. Stupid even. Of course, I think I had pretty much already proven I could do stupid like no one else. I'd have to ask Bella if she had twins in her family. I don't remember her talking about any, but really, I was usually sort of distracted by her boobs. And the thought of what she had (barely) hidden behind the thong-of-the day. So I probably hadn't paid attention even if she did.

Fuck. I couldn't ask her. If it didn't occur to her to worry about twins, I sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to bring it up. Besides, doctors could tell that shit before the kid was born, right? Doctors. My dad. My _mom_. Bella's mom. Bella's dad. Bella's dad's _gun_.

Fuck. My. Life.


	4. Chapter 4: Sex and Other Hazards

The worse it gets, the louder you have to laugh.

I don't own these characters. I torture them for kicks and giggles.

**Chapter 4: Sex and Other Hazards**

_**Bella's POV**_

"All right then," Edward said quietly, squeezing me close. And he groped a little to be honest. Not that I minded. Still. "So, do we tell them together or apart?"

I felt my heart sink. I couldn't imagine facing my parents and telling them this news all alone. I'd probably pass out. Or puke. Or die. Oh, I choose door C!!! Door C!!! "Well, I guess I could tell my parents by myself-"

"Oh no, baby," Edward said immediately. "That's not what I meant. Of course we'll tell them together, you and me. No way that shit's going down without me there with you." He nibbled at my earlobe which was what he usually did when he'd said something particularly dickward. I get my ears nibbled on a lot. I'm surprised they're not chafed – along with other parts of my anatomy. But I digress. "I meant, do we tell _your_ parents and _my_ parents at the same time or separately?"

I had to think about that. On one hand, telling them together would get the shit storm over faster. They might even get so busy yelling at each other (and of course that was a given, especially with my mom) about how the other one hadn't raised us right or this never would have happened. Blah, blah, blah. They'd be playing the blame game but maybe they'd leave us out of it. For the time being.

On the other hand (and there always was another hand, wasn't there?), we'd be facing four angry parents instead of two. At least doing it one set of parents at a time, we wouldn't be outnumbered. But if we did it that way, which parents get the news first? And how were we going to break it? Try and ease into it? "Yeah, remember how you said that you wanted to have grandkids one day…?" No, that probably wouldn't work and Renee was going to freak as soon as the "G" word got thrown around. She's always checking in the mirror for wrinkles and the news that she was going to be a grandmother was simply going to make her lose her shit. Charlie was going to… Well, he'd be Charlie. Carlisle would shake his head in disappointment and that would be…bad. Out of the four of them, I thought Esme might give us the least grief. Not that she'd be happy about it. She wasn't crazy after all. But she'd understand. Well, more than the others. I tried really hard to hold onto that. It even gave me an idea.

"Uh…what would you say to giving one of them a sort of heads up?" I asked, looking up at him from beneath my lashes. After all, this was his mom we were going to talk about and I kind of needed to know where his head was.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, I'm thinking that out of all of our assembled parents, your mother is the one most likely to at least listen to us and not immediately jump in our shit." I peered at him hopefully. "She'll be the most willing to sit down and _talk_, rather than yell."

He considered that for a moment and finally gave a jerky nod of his head. "Yeah, yeah, you may be right. She tends to fly off the handle a lot less easily."

"So…good idea?"

"Excellent idea," Edward murmured as he kissed me. "You know, I only love you for your brains."

I patted his cheek. "That's a damned shame because I only love you for your giant-"

"Watch it there, babe," Edward put his finger on my lips. "I remember it being some dirty talk that got us into this situation in the first place.

"Yeah, but _you_ were the one doing the talking," I reminded him. He had the grace to look chagrined.

"Okay, you've got me there, but is it my fault your boobs looked so fucking sweet in that top?" Then he got this odd look on his face. "Fuck baby…your boobs…"

I looked down. "What about them?"

"They're fucking bigger…" And the dickwad actually licked his lips! I could tell I was going to have my hands full with a baby…and my baby's daddy.

I wasn't sure which one would be more trouble. Then I saw him lick his lips again and I had no doubt.

Baby daddy.

_**Edward's POV**_

So after some intense negotiations, Bella and I decided that we'd go to my house one afternoon when my mom was alone. Rosalie was usually off doing the dirty with Emmett. Maybe I should give him that box of condoms? There weren't too many missing. Screw him. Let him buy his own damn condoms. My dad usually worked late at the hospital and Bella's parents didn't question much if we were at my house, which was kind of ironic when you think about it, since Baby C had been conceived there. And pretty much under their noses. I wasn't really sure we should bring that up, but I wasn't above using it if things got too ugly. I mean, we were fucking teenagers, we didn't know any better. Wasn't some of this their fault too? Maybe if they had supervised a little better…

That was a crock and I knew it, but desperate times call for desperate measures or some shit like that. And if there was ever a desperate time, this was fucking it. Besides, I'm pretty sure I would have found a way to get in Bella's pants even if we were in a high security prison…in separate cells…with big, cranky guards with guns.

Monday morning sucked, mostly because Bella looked scared shitless. I didn't even want to _know_ what I looked like so I shaved mostly fucking blind and it showed. I was almost worried I'd bleed to death, which might have been an okay option except it would leave Bella to deal with all of this shit on her own. Which wasn't really fair, since I seem to remember being a more than willing participant in the whole deal.

Tuesday morning Bella didn't look scared any more, but I was pretty sure the look of abject terror on her face wasn't a huge improvement. Wednesday came way faster than either of us expected. It was like it sort of snuck up on us, like some fucker had fiddled with the calendar. But I knew if we kept putting it off we'd only end up screwing ourselves in the end. The more time the parentals had to get used to it, the easier it would be on all of us.

So Wednesday after I made sure the coast was clear, i.e. Rosalie was off making the two backed beast with Emmett, and Dad was occupied with gainful employment (shit, another thing to put on my "to do" list, which was growing by fucking leaps and bounds), I picked up Bella and drove her to my house. She looked sort of sick still, all hunched in her seat and I just almost fucking lost it.

What had I done? I had fucked up everything, not just for me, but more importantly for her. Telling my mom, and later the rest of our family and friends – that was only the start. Once they all got past the shock and the anger, we'd still have to deal with the reality of what it all meant. And that shit was just starting to dawn on me. This was fucking real and it was heading at us like a freight train. I could practically hear it roaring down on us.

Baby. Diapers. Endless, sleepless nights. College was out the window, at least for now. Wasn't it? I wasn't sure…so it was a maybe on the college. We'd have to figure that out together. A job, I definitely needed a job. I wasn't gonna free load off my dad to support my kid, that was for damned sure. And what did Bella want to do? Stay home with the kid for a while? Go to school? To work? Jump off a fucking bridge? I was beginning to see the up side of that plan.

But looking at Bella, I knew I needed to get my shit together. This wasn't about me anymore. It was about Bella, sure. Even more, however, and this was the scariest fucking thing of all, this was about the kid that Bella and I were about to bring into the world. We could barely take care of ourselves and now we had to grow up really fucking fast and do the right thing by the kid. Which was scary as fucking hell, because it was one thing to fuck up our own lives, but it was a different matter entirely to do that to a kid.

I figured telling my mom would help Bella. She'd have someone else to talk to besides my own ignorant ass. It's not like I fucking knew when morning sickness ended or how much labor fucking hurt (worry #27 or something on Bella's list). I was flying blind, even more than she was. I was sort of counting on my mom to help us break the news to the others. Not tell them for us, of course, even I wasn't that big a chicken shit, but maybe just give us some advice on how to do it with the least amount of pain (for us) and stress (for them).

Now, driving to my house, I started thinking about the kid. I mean, _really_ thinking about the kid. I had no fucking clue how to be any kind of father, much less a good one. I could think of a million ways in which I was _not_ equipped to deal with all of this. It wasn't just the baby stuff, because let's face it, that's over before you know it, at least according to our parents who are constantly telling us we've grown up too fast. Now, of course, they're going to get a lesson in just how grown up we've been acting. In the game room. Against the wall. That fucking blue thong.

I adjusted myself with what I hoped was discretion and tact, which would have been a fucking first, I admit.

I had an almost endless list of questions I wanted - no I _needed_ to ask _someone_. Would we know enough not to make some stupid mistake that would really hurt the kid? Would we love it enough? Would we be able to make it through all of this shit as a couple? Would Bella end up resenting me? What if we were just in too far over our fucking heads?

And what do you tell your kid when they ask you why you had them so fucking young? It's not like you could hide that shit. They'd figure it out eventually. They can add. And subtract. They teach them that shit in second grade or something. Kids were fucking smart. So the question was gonna come up. Especially if our kid was as much a little shit as I had been. And what would I say? "Well see, your mom had this ear infection and she took some medicine that made her birth control pills not work and then I was a lazy ass motherfucker, or maybe just too fucking horny, and I didn't want to take the time to go up to my room and get a condom so I pretty much just fucked your mom up against a wall and the next thing we fucking knew, BAM! There you were. You're welcome."

Yeah, that didn't sound right. And it could scar a kid. Besides, I was pretty sure I shouldn't be dropping the "F" bomb that frequently around a kid. Hell, knowing Bella she'd want me to limit it to "crap" and "fudge." That shit was gonna get fucking old after a while. I was pretty certain we could just make sure the kid knew that he or she couldn't say those words, and that they were for _adults_ only. Kids usually listened to their parents, right?

_Except when they didn't and fucked their girlfriends against walls without a condom and knocked her up_, a little voice whispered.

Shut up.

We were going to do this. We were going to come clean. Right now. Right after I puked.


	5. Chapter 5: Hormones are a Wicked Bitch

**Chapter 5: Hormones are a Wicked Bitch**

_**Edward's POV**_

We were getting ready to walk into my house when Bella piped up, "You know I had to give up Starbucks?"

I admit, that threw me for a loop. What the fuck did Starbucks have to do with telling my mother about the baby? As usual, I was about three steps behind Bella's bizarre thought processes. "Uh...what?" was my genius response. As Bella tells me, sometimes it's a good thing I'm pretty.

"Starbucks," Bella said quietly. "I had to give it up." She sighed. "Well, all coffee…anything with caffeine really." Another sigh, deeper this time. "I'm really going to miss my coffee."

"Okay," I murmured, still feeling like I was in a fucking episode of the Twilight Zone. "Why?"

She looked up at me, her lips twisting. "Caffeine," she said as if I was slightly stupid. Okay, she had me there. "Too much is bad for the baby."

And suddenly, just like it was magic or some shit like that, I was looking at Bella not as my pregnant girlfriend, but as the mother of my kid. That was some heavy shit. I pulled her close to me and kissed her hard. It felt like the words were just locked up inside of me and I couldn't figure out how to actually say them, which was a shock because I'm usually a pretty glib motherfucker.

"You're going to be a great mom, babe," I whispered. I heard a little sniffle and I saw that the waterworks had started again. That was happening a lot lately, and a quick Google search had confirmed that pregnant women cried all the time. I was kind of getting used to it, and I really didn't have much room to bitch about it. After all, it was my fault. It was my dick that had been pushed up inside of her, my hands that had been playing with her boobs, _my_ mouth that had been trying to stifle those moans I loved so fucking much.

I wiped the tears away and pulled her close without even groping her, which was not the easiest thing in the world to do. Her boobs were like magnetic north for me. "Listen, Bella," I said. "I know the timing sucks, and it's gonna be hard. We're too fucking young and we weren't ready for this shit. But…" I sighed and let her bury her face in my chest where I was pretty sure she was fucking sniffing me. Again. Pretty sure Bella has a fetish. "But if it means anything, I've always known that it was you I wanted to have my kid. Granted, this wasn't exactly how I pictured it, but I'm not going anywhere. We're gonna do this thing together, and even when it completely sucks ass, we'll have each other." I tilted her head up so I could kiss her again. "So remember that, babe. Okay?"

She nodded, sniffling a bit more and then rubbing her nose on my shirt. I guess a little snot on my shirt wasn't such a big deal when she had a whole human being growing inside of her. Then I heard a watery chuckle (Bella's got the giggles again, go figure) and she rubbed her nose again. I could always change shirts after we told my mom. "Edward, that was seriously the most unromantic _romantic_ thing you've ever said to me."

"Uh…?" I was confused. Of course, I spent a lot of my time in that state lately.

Bella looked up at me, her eyes kind of swollen, her nose red and angry looking, and large splotches on her face. She had never looked more pitiful – and yet there was something about her in that moment that was fucking _real_, and beautiful in a way that I couldn't describe. All I knew was that I really fucking _loved_ her, and that I always would. No matter how tough shit got, no matter what we had to do to make this work, we'd do it. And somehow, a long time from now, we'd be able to look back at all of this and laugh, because we'd made it. We'd done it. Together.

I brushed back her hair, used the tail of my shirt to wipe her nose, and then I kissed her. "Come on," I said softly. "Let's go do this. And then maybe we can breathe again."

She took a deep breath. I took one too. It didn't do shit to calm me down but Bella looked better, steadier on her feet. Oh shit. Bella's feet. I loved her, but that girl was dead clumsy. She'd have to be extra careful now. I added that to my list of "Things to Worry about Because Bella is Pregnant." It was a long fucking list – and we hadn't even told anyone yet.

"Let's go get 'em tiger," I whispered.

"Shut the fuck up," she hissed.

Okay, maybe not so steady after all.

_**Bella's POV**_

The Cullen house was quiet, so I knew for sure that only Esme was home. There was some light, classical music playing the background, one of Esme's favorites but I didn't know the name of it. I just recognized it. Edward had it on his iPod, but he'd pretended to be all "I don't know how the fuck that got on my playlist" when I mentioned it. I just rolled my eyes at him. I knew my man, and he liked all of that stuff, though he'd rather be kicked in the balls than to admit it.

Idly, I wondered if I put the earbuds on my belly if the baby could hear it. I remembered reading somewhere a long time ago (before I'd had any inkling whatsoever that that little tidbit of information would apply to _me_) that babies' brains developed better if they listened to music, especially the classical stuff. Then Edward could pretend it was on his iPod for the baby, which would let him pound his chest and be all "Me Big Man."

I realized that I was trying to distract myself from what we were about to do. I could already feel my knees shaking, and I was pretty sure that even Edward could hear my heart ready to about pound out of my chest. Then Esme was there in the living room with the same, sweet smile she always had.

"Bella!" she said. "What a pleasant surprise."

_Oh, we've got a surprise all right_, I thought. I managed a sick smile that probably made me look like a serial killer. _But I'm not sure pleasant is the best way to describe it_.

"Hey, Mom," Edward said with what I thought was pretty convincing casualness. Apparently, Esme had mom-radar or something because the smile faltered for a moment and then she sat down in the chair by the couch.

"Why don't you two sit down and tell me what's bothering you," she suggested quietly. When Edward sat down and pulled me beside him, Esme leaned forward and patted the hands were had clenched together. Okay, we weren't playing this cool at all. Cool seemed impossible. We'd have to settle for flushed, nervous, and nauseous.

"So…" Esme said. "You two look like you're about to pass out, so let's get this over with." She smiled. "It can't be that bad."

_Guess again! _I felt the giggles threaten and I coughed. Edward gave me a frantic look, guessing what my problem was. Shit.

"Well, Mom," Edward began and I noticed that his hand was really sweaty in mine. Or maybe my sweat had rubbed off on him. I had to restrain the impulse to let go of his hand and wipe my palms on my jeans. The giggles lurked, just waiting. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Bellaspregnantmom."

The words came out in a rush and I risked a look at Esme. She just stared at Edward for a minute and I thought maybe she was trying to make sense of the gibberish that he had just spouted. I wanted to jump up and say, "Just kidding! April Fool's!" But of course we weren't. And I couldn't. And it was January. And our secret would come out sooner or later. Literally. And there's probably be a lot of swearing and screaming when it did.

Esme took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. I wondered if she was trying to block the sight of us. Maybe she was so disgusted and angry that she couldn't even look at us. Then she opened her eyes and smiled at us. Actually _smiled _at us. Like we weren't the stupidest teenagers on the face of the earth. Her smile was a bit wobbly and there were tears in her eyes, but it was still a smile. I tried to smile back, but it was a no-go. I wasn't ready for that yet. But at least I wasn't giggling inappropriately. Yet. Give me time. I was sure I could manage.

"Okay," she said, giving another deep breath and squaring her shoulders. "So, you're sure?" She gave us a look that seemed to ask if we had gotten any sort of confirmation.

"Yeah," Edward said, looking down at our hands. Still sweaty. Still painfully clenched together. I flexed my fingers and it didn't help a damn bit. "Uh…we took a test."

"Seven tests," I felt compelled to elaborate. "We took seven tests." For some reason it seemed damned important to show her that we had been responsible on _that_ score at least. _Oh yeah_, I told myself, _we're just the poster children for responsible behavior_.

"Uh…" Edward blew out a breath. "Yeah, seven tests."

"I see," Esme breathed. She clasped her hands around our sweaty ones. "Have you two decided what you want to do about this pregnancy?"

I looked at Edward. He looked pretty pale. I watched as he swallowed hard. "Well, uh…Bella and I want to keep it…the…uh…baby."

Esme nodded. "All right, so that's one decision made," she said as casually as if we were discussing prom dress choices. Briefly, I wondered if Esme had been drinking. A lot. Or maybe she was a secret toker? I sniffed. Nope. No pot smell clinging to her. Well that was good. I mean, a grandmother who lights up… Well, that was just wrong. Wasn't it?

"We haven't…uh…" Edward cleared his throat. "We haven't gotten much beyond deciding that," he admitted. It had been mind boggling enough to reach _that_ decision. We were at our quota. Done. Finished.

For now.

Esme stood up and then pulled us both (how she managed that I don't know) into her firm embrace. "Oh my babies," she said, wiping away the tears I didn't remember crying. "We'll figure this out together. I promise you. You're not alone. Not now. Never ever. Remember that."

Which only made me cry harder.

Pregnancy hormones are a wicked bitch.


	6. Chapter 6: Just a Little to the Left

**Chapter 6: Just a Little to the Left**

I felt my lungs expand when my mom started talking to us. I felt like I could breathe again. Sort of. I wasn't drowning any more at least. I was a little shocked at the sense of relief I felt. I wondered if Bella felt the same way. I couldn't tell by her expression, which was still pretty much fucking dazed.

One down, three to go. And it hadn't gone so badly after all. Of course, this was my mom and she was pretty much the most laidback of the four of them. She tended to listen first and react later. Which had made her an easy choice for first disclosure. So far so good. Of course, there was always the chance it was just taking her a while to freak the fuck out.

It was fucking weird, but when my mom asked us if we had decided to keep the baby, I realized that we hadn't even_ really_ discussed having the baby and giving it up for adoption. The abortion issue had been discounted almost as soon as we talked about it. It just didn't feel right for us. But the adoption thing had never even really occurred to me. Which was especially odd, considering my parents had adopted both Rose and I when we were babies, we were just three months apart in age, though they'd adopted me six months before they'd gotten Rose. I was older than Rosalie and I never let her forget it. Rosalie was scary enough without giving her that advantage too.

My parents had adopted me when I was just a few months old and to be honest, I gave my "mother" just a little bit more thought than I did the incubator that had kept me warm in the hospital. As far as I was concerned, it was the same principle. Not that I was angry or anything, just that the woman who had actually given birth to me was a non-entity as far as I was concerned. I wasn't curious. I wasn't mad. I just really didn't care. Esme was my mother, plain and simple. Carlisle was my father. I didn't really need to know anything more than that.

And as lucky I as I knew I was, I also knew that I didn't want that for my kid. It was probably selfish, because any kid would be damned lucky to have an Esme and Carlisle to raise them. But this was _our_ kid, Bella and I had created it, and I wasn't going to fucking give it to someone else. We loved each other and I was sure we'd love our kid. Something about giving it up for adoption just seemed like a cop out, which wasn't the fucking case. I _knew_ better than that, but I couldn't help what I_ felt_. Maybe it _was_ selfish. In fact, I knew it was, but that didn't mean it wasn't right. Sometimes love is selfish and sometimes it isn't. I was young and obviously stupid, but I'd already figured that out. This was our baby and we would raise it. And we'd do our best to give it the kind of life every kid deserved.

So, decision about the baby made. We were keeping it. That had been a no-brainer for us. The much more complicated question had been Bella and me. On one hand, it was a fucking given that we'd stay together. But _how_ together, and how soon would it progress to something more…permanent? We've both just sort of always known it would lead to marriage. Eventually. But when? That's what had us stuck. Neither of us wanted to rush off to get a marriage license _just_ because Bella was pregnant. Yeah, we wanted to get married, but neither one of us was sure it was the right time. Bella said it sounded like a bad country song and I was just… Well, I was sort of still reeling. Fatherhood and being a husband all at the same time was just fucking mind boggling. So, no answer yet on the marriage question.

And I was guessing our parents were going to want answers – and soon. Mom offered to have the Swans over for dinner so that we could tell them the news. I figured that having witnesses might be better. Even Chief Swan would hesitate to kill me in front of my parents. That didn't mean _my_ dad wouldn't be tempted. I rubbed my eyes. We'd have to take this one crisis at a time. We'd tell them about the baby first and then worry about the other stuff once the shit storm had settled.

I told Mom that we wanted to go to my room for a while. Mom didn't say anything. After all, I had already knocked up Bella, what more trouble could we get into? Bella seemed to be thinking the same thing because she finally gave into the giggles. I joined her because there wasn't anything else to fucking do. I mean, when your life has turned to shit why not laugh about it?

When the bedroom door closed behind me, Bella plopped back on the bed, closing her eyes and rubbing at them. I noticed that she looked tired,_ really_ tired. I lay down beside her and tucked her hair back behind her ear. She sighed and sort of snuggled into me, which put her boobs right up against my chest. Shit. My dick apparently got the news flash and decided to get in on the act too. Just what I needed, a big fucking bulge in my jeans. I tried to move the big guy to a more comfortable position but that was a no go, especially trying to do it all subtle like. He doesn't do subtle, apparently. Unable to help myself, I sort of pushed my hips against Bella, letting her feel what she had done to me. And if it gave her ideas, who was I to argue? She didn't usually mind me rubbing my dick up against her, thank fuck, since that was one of my favorite things to do – secondly only to rubbing my dick _in_ her.

She put a hand on my hip but then just sort of left it there. _Okay, just a few more inches to the left, baby_…. I was fucking horny. It had been almost two weeks, which in guy time was like _years_ – decades maybe. Okay, that might have been a _slight_ exaggeration, but you get the picture.

I had lost my virginity when I was sixteen. I turned sixteen on a Monday and by that Saturday a senior girl named Tanya had popped my cherry. She told me later that she had just been waiting for me to turn sixteen so I'd be "legal" in our state. I had no idea there were laws about that shit, but Tanya wanted to be a lawyer, so I trusted her on that one.

Not that I gave a damn. I just knew I was finally putting my dick to the use for which it was intended instead of just fucking my own boring hand. Masturbating is fun, don't get me wrong. As far as rainy day activities, it trumps Xbox. But nothing beats the real deal. Nothing feels or tastes like real pussy, I don't care how much lotion you use. It's still your own fucking hand. Tanya kept our relationship – if that's what it was– a secret for the rest of the school year. When she went away to college it was sort of a relief for both of us. Then there had been Kate. She was my age and been doing the dirty in the backseat with her ex for a year.

I was happy to pass along what Tanya had taught me (she was a woman of many talents) and Kate taught me a few things too. I had been pretty content to keep things at the status quo. Kate was pretty and sweet and willing to bend over the hood of my car if we couldn't get any privacy at either of our houses, which pretty much made her the perfect girlfriend. So for a few months Kate and I kind of drifted along. It was fun, it was casual, and I got laid on a regular basis so I had no fucking complaints.

Then a month or so through our junior year, the town had hired a new police chief and the Swan family had moved to Forks. The minute I saw Bella I knew I was seriously fucked. As I watched her roam the halls of Forks High School that first day, I realized three things. First, I'd have to break it off with Kate, clean and quick. Lucky for me, Kate sort of had her eye on a new guy anyway. I thought he was gay but I wished her luck. I could already tell that Bella wouldn't be the type of girl to settle with messing around on the side with someone else's boyfriend. And strangely, I didn't to offer that to her either. The second thing I knew was that if her father ever guessed what I wanted to do to his baby girl, he'd fucking kill me – and the man carried a big ass gun.

And third, I knew that I wanted to be with Bella and only Bella – fucking _always_.

But that gun still worried the fuck out of me. Especially now.

_**Bella's POV**_

So. One down. Three left. Of course, telling our parents was really just the start of it all. Then there would be our grandparents (Nana was going to literally have a shit fit and I was really glad I wouldn't have to clean up _that_ mess). Telling Rosalie, Alice, and Angela wasn't going to be the highlight of my life either. I had a sneaky suspicion that Rosalie would try to permanently put her brother's baby-maker out of commission. That would be a damn shame since he was so very well…endowed. And the boy knew how to use his equipment. Obviously. I'm exhibit #1.

Damn. I kept getting distracted. Okay, list all of the people to tell that Edward and I have become a bad after-school special about the dangers of teenaged sex... While we wouldn't _have_ to actually tell anyone in school, it wouldn't take too long for them to guess. Right now, we were estimating that the baby was due in August sometime. I had been too depressed to figure out the actual date, even though I could probably pinpoint to within fifteen minutes of exactly the moment when Baby C had been conceived. Up against the wall of the game room, while we both tried to be very, _very_ quiet. Not exactly my finest hour.

I wondered if I'd ever have to actually confess to Baby C (when Baby C was Teenager C, of course) where he or she had come into existence. Maybe I should start thinking up a plausible and less embarrassing lie _now_, since I can't lie for shit. I'm sure that if I practiced the lie for sixteen years or so I could probably pull it off. I wondered if I could talk Edward into lying too. He was so much better at it than I was. It was a little scary actually. He didn't even blush. Or blink. Or swallow hard and stammer.

Okay, focus Bella! Telling the news. Well, my teachers were going to guess. I wondered how long it would take me to actually outgrow my clothes. And if we never actually said anything, I wondered how long it would take people to guess – and even better – who would be the first to actually have the balls to ask us outright if Edward had knocked me up? And who would just think I'd been overdoing on the Dove dark chocolate bars? And how soon did a "bump" become an "Oh my God what did you do?"

I was betting that it would be Lauren Mallory (that bitch) or Jessica Stanley (she would probably go to Edward and offer to "comfort" him in his "hour of need" or some shit like that). I'd claw her eyes out, using my wicked pregnancy bitch hormones to my advantage. It was like PMS on steroids. There just might be an up side to this whole pregnancy thing.

Yeah, yeah, I was reaching. Can you blame me?

I'm a high school senior who just found out she's pregnant! Any silver lining is to be savored and cherished and exploited. Jessica Stanley had better watch herself, or she'd end up bald and missing a few teeth. You just can't fuck with a pregnant woman and expect to get away with it.

I sighed and snuggled up close to Edward. I felt his cock twitch and jump in his pants and I hid my smile against his chest. Edward's cock was as predictable as the sun. Of course, it rose a lot more than once a day. I noticed him trying to adjust himself on the sly. Silly boy. Like I don't know all of his moves by now.

I rested my hand on his hip and I could practically feel him willing me to move it down to his crotch. On another day I might have, but honestly I was so tired now that nothing was even remotely as exciting as the thought of a nap.

I felt my eyes begin to close and I heard Edward give a sigh of resignation. My poor, horny baby…

I wonder if they have any BBQ chips? And maybe some Tabasco sauce to dip them in…? Or horseradish sauce?

I hope I don't snore too loud… Or fart. I'll die if I fart in front of Edward.

Shit. My boobs ache…

Down boy…. I'll attend to you later… I'm really tired…

Damn it. I have to pee…


	7. Chapter 7: Ten Feet Tall

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 7: Ten Feet Tall**

_**Edward's POV**_

It had been two days since we broke the news to my mom. That first night I had been really nervous at dinner, absolutely fucking sure that my mom would give _something_ away. Instead, she was as calm and pleasant as always, teasing my dad about a nurse who had a crush on him, scolding me to get my elbows off the table, and discretely motioning to Rosalie to hide the huge fucking hickey on her neck. It was really tempting to point to it and ask what the hell had happened to her neck. But then I remembered that Rosalie takes the concept of revenge to a whole new level, and I was definitely living in a glass house at this point. So, for once, I played it smart and shut the hell up.

It was like my mother had been replaced by some sort of super calm, cool-under-pressure international spy or some shit like that. Once I even met her eyes and sort of gave her that look that said, "What the fuck?" She just smiled and continued eating like nothing out of the fucking ordinary had occurred. Unfuckingbelievable.

Even when my dad asked her how her day went, she laughed softly and shrugged, looking like she had just enjoyed a day at the fucking spa. "Oh you know, usually it's the same thing." When I thought about I realized she hadn't really answered my dad's question. I was an expert at the technique of the non-answer. At least now I knew where I had gotten it from.

Okay, so she was good. I winked at her, letting her know I was onto her. She just winked back and asked my dad if he'd like another glass of wine. I resisted the urge to tell her I'd be taking a bottle up to my room. Impending fatherhood or not, my mom would shit kittens if she saw me drinking. Even she has her limits. I decided that her being cool with the whole pregnancy thing was probably pushing her far enough.

Still…it would have been nice to get a little buzz on.

After dinner I helped clear the table. I knew there was no getting out of that shit, no matter what kind of day I'd had. Even having a pregnant girlfriend was no fucking excuse as far as my mom was concerned. Then I trudged up to my room to call Bella. I woke her up, which made me feel pretty fucking bad. Even though she'd taken a nap at my house this afternoon, she was obviously pretty tired. I guess making a whole other person does that to you.

"My mom asked me if I was sick," Bella said in her husky, sleepy voice.

"What'd you say?" I had been counting on the few days between now and when we'd have the family cage match…er…dinner. I wasn't ready for Renee to know. Out of the four of them, she'd be the one who would absofuckinglutely go ballistic.

"I said my stomach was upset and I was feeling a little under the weather," Bella told me with a small giggle. "And then I almost hurled so I escaped to my room and started playing emo music. So maybe she thinks we broke up or something."

"Great," I muttered. That's all I needed, was for Renee to be pissed off at me for something _else_. I was pretty sure that knocking up her teenaged daughter was bad enough.

"She'll get over it," Bella assured me. "Besides, she'll have something else to worry about real soon." Bella's voice was half amused (the giggle-monster strikes again) and half worried. But at least she didn't sound as fucking _scared_ as she had yesterday.

"I love you, baby," I whispered, feeling like a fucking pussy the whole time.

"I love you too," she answered and suddenly I felt about ten feet tall. I might be a pussy, but Bella loved me, even after I'd knocked her up. That was no bad deal. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," I told her. "Listen…I've been thinking…" Which was a total fucking lie. I was going on impulse, like I usually did. _Yeah, and that's worked so fucking well for you so far, asshole._

"What a nice change," Bella teased. "And here I'd always thought you were a man of action."

"Ha ha," I mumbled. "Anyway…" God, now that I'd started this, I really ought to finish it. Put it out there and let the cards fall where they may. I cleared my throat and suddenly I was _way_ more nervous than I'd been when we told my mom about the baby. "I'm not…I'm not proposing or anything here, because this would be a shitty way to do it, and the timing is all wrong anyway. But…" I took a deep breath. "But you should know that there's no one else I can imagine being married to. And I want that, I really do, when the time is right…for you. You give me the word, and I'm there. In Vegas, in the Forks Methodist Church, at the courthouse. Whatever and whenever…"

There was nothing but silence from the other end of the fun. Well…fuck. That was _not_ the reaction I was looking for.

"Bella?" I couldn't take it anymore. "Are you there, baby?"

"I'm here," she answered in a strange voice.

"Are you mad?"

"No…" she answered carefully. "I'm not mad."

"Are you going to say anything about what I just said?" Like tell me I'm the greatest guy ever…or maybe to fuck off? At this point, I'd take either one.

There was a long moment of silence. "Are you only asking me because I'm pregnant?"

"I'm only asking you _now_ because _we're_ pregnant," I insisted, even though saying 'we're pregnant' was the gayest shit that had ever come out of my mouth. "But you know I've always planned on asking you, baby. There'll never be anyone else for me." I sighed. "But I just want you to think about it. I mean…I'm not sure how I feel about our kid being born and us not being…well… you know."

"Married?" Now she was giggling again. God, I loved that sound.

"Uh…yeah…" I swallowed hard. "Married. Us. And then… you know...the baby." I laughed. "We'll be the Three Musketeers."

"I really hope the baby doesn't have a sword in there," Bella dead-panned.

"I've got a sword for you," I said, because I'm a horny motherfucker and I've got a filthy fucking mind. But at least that's no surprise to Bella.

"And there's the Edward I know and love," Bella teased. Then she sighed. "Let's get the whole telling our parents thing over with and then… Then we'll talk about the other. Okay?"

"Okay."

"And Edward?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Yeah baby?"

"I'd never want to be married to anyone but you either." And she hung up.

Ten fucking feet tall.

_**Bella's POV**_

I hung up the phone feeling more than a little dazed, to tell the truth. Edward talking about marriage had been a shock. Yes, we had talked about it. In the same way we had talked about having a family. All of it was some time in the very vague and distant future. Now, however, it seemed that more than one thing had changed.

It was _so_ tempting to call him back and tell him to fill up the car and that I wanted to go to Vegas. We had already done things backwards and messed up The Plan. We had been talking about The Plan almost as long as we had been dating. Somehow, we had both known that this was it for us. We were meant to be together. It just…_was_.

But now it wasn't just the two of us. We had added Baby C into the mix. So whatever we decided, we had to take it…him or her, into account. Somehow, knowing we would have ended up married no matter what only made the decision about getting married _now_ more difficult. If Edward had only talked about marriage because of the baby, it would have been a no-brainer. Absolutely no. I couldn't imagine a worse reason for getting married.

What to do, however, when it was simply a matter of timing? So what was the right decision _now_? What was best for us? Best for the baby?

It was too much to think about at the moment, so I rolled over and was almost asleep.

Damn. I had to pee. Again.

I finally drifted off and had a weird ass dream where I was holding a baby and the baby was telling me I was a "bad girl" because I'd gotten knocked up in high school. When I pointed out to the baby that he (it was a boy in my dream, I just know it) blew a raspberry and told me not to confuse him with logic. Weird. Ass. Dream.

Then I woke up already primed and ready to barf. It was like a trigger in my gut. I managed to barf into the wastebasket I kept by my bed. Gross. Luckily, my parents weren't up yet and I got it rinsed out and put away. I also swished about a gallon of mouthwash through my mouth, hoping to make the nasty taste go away. I was only partially successful. As I sat on the bathroom floor, just waiting for the festivities to start again, I really had to question why women got so damned excited about being pregnant.

So far I wasn't really seeing the attraction. I cried about twenty times a day, my boobs hurt like a bitch, my moods were swinging like Tarzan all over the freaking map, and now I was practically barfing in my sleep. Really? This is what gets women squealing and jumping up and down (carefully of course) because they're so excited? Are they high? Delusional? Or just really, really masochistic?

All in all,_ I'd_ rather get a root canal. I cursed game room walls, condoms that were upstairs and too-sexy boyfriends.


	8. Chapter 8: The Big Announcement

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Ms. Meyers. I only harass, torture, and harangue them for kicks and giggles. Sadly, I make no money from my efforts.

**Chapter 8: The Big Announcement**

_**Edward's POV**_

So…today's the day. I woke up nauseous and tense, so I can only wonder how Bella is feeling. She's already hurling at odd moments with apparently nothing and everything triggering it. I couldn't eat breakfast and even my mom was looking a little less than completely cool and collected, which only made me more nervous. When my dad was involved in watching a game on television and Rosalie was off doing the nasty with Emmett (and probably getting another hickey or dozen in the process), my mom snuck up to my room to see how I was doing. She had already started the dinner, pulling out all her best recipes, including her triple-layer cheesecake (white chocolate, milk chocolate, and dark chocolate). That fucking thing tasted _almost_ as good as Bella. Almost.

Her eyes were worried and her smile was tight as she studied me. "You okay?" she asked softly, cradling my face like she did when I was just a little kid. I had gotten into trouble a lot, and she had always been there to ease the way between my dad and me. My dad was cool, but a little uptight and serious. Sometimes I wondered what had drawn them together. My mom liked to laugh and saw the ridiculous in just about everything. I had seen her get the giggles right along with Bella. Those two understood each other in a way I could never hope to. That was fine, though. I was glad. Bella would need someone to talk to in the coming months and I had a feeling her mom would be too busy bitching about our stupidity to be of much actual use.

"I'm fine," I muttered, feeling stupid for actually wanting my mother's comfort when here I was – about to be a parent myself. My stomach lurched in response. I could only imagine the look on my dad's face when he heard. It was not going to be a pretty sight.

Then my mom took a step back and I saw the look on her face. "Bullshit," she said bluntly. That was typical of my mom. She looked like a soccer mom and swore like a sailor – at least when my dad wasn't around. At least I knew where I'd gotten my filthy mouth. "Don't try and pull that shit with me, Edward Cullen." Then she gave me The Look. All moms have it. Some of them just don't use it. My mom used hers with ruthless efficiency. I'd even seen her reduce Rosalie to tears with one well-timed glare. And Rosalie didn't even cry that time she broke her leg falling out of a tree (I may or may not have been partially responsible for that). Even my dad quailed before a full dose of The Look. I'd seen him tug at his collar and stammer before beating a hasty retreat from my mother's annoyance more than once. So, The Look was powerful shit.

"All right," I hissed. "I'm nervous as fuck. I want to puke, and I'm pretty sure that I'll be physically incapable of speech when the time comes to actually make the fucking announcement." I gave my mom a Look of my own. She wasn't impressed. Maybe I needed more practice.

"That's what I thought," she replied with a little smirk. "Don't try and lie to me, Edward Anthony Cullen." Oh shit, all three names. "You know you can't." That was absolutely true. I could lie to pretty much everyone – even Bella fell for my bullshit more often than not – but my mom? She saw through me each and every time, like she had a fucking super spy whispering all my secrets into a special little earpiece like the Secret Service guys wore. It was spooky as hell.

"Now," she said, taking a deep breath. "It'll be fine."

I looked at her like she was insane. "It will," she insisted. Then she grimaced. "Eventually."

"Yeah, like when the kid turns 21," I muttered.

Mom smiled. "Hopefully a little sooner than that." She stood on her toes and kissed me on the cheek, which wasn't too bad since no one else was around. "It will get better. They'll all just need time to bitch and complain and yell before they get used to the idea."

"Renee is going to literally shit herself," I grumbled.

Mom covered her mouth, trying to contain her laughter. Then she shrugged. "Maybe," she admitted. "But that's fine. She can borrow some of my clothes if she needs to." Then Mom snorted with laughter.

"You been drinking?" I asked suspiciously.

My mom drew herself up and gave me a look of offended dignity. "Maybe just a glass of wine," she said, giving a little sniff. "Or two."

"Not fair," I accused. "I'm the one who needs liquid courage."

"You're underage," she snapped back. Then she sighed. "Besides, once your father figures out that I knew before he did…"

I grimaced. "Sorry about that. We didn't mean to put you into-"

"Oh stop it," she commanded. "I'm your mother, and being on your side should come with the territory. Hopefully, I'll actually be able to do some good. You two have made a mistake. Granted. But the mistake's been made and nothing can unmake it, so we just have to move forward and deal with things as they come. There's no use beating a dead horse-"

"Or a dead rabbit," I shot back.

Mom rolled her eyes. "Just keep your smart mouth under wraps when you're telling them. You don't need to make things worse."

"I'll be on my best behavior," I promised.

"Like that's gonna help," she muttered. "I think I need another glass of wine before the Swans arrive."

_**Bella's POV**_

The dinner started off awkwardly, which I guessed was only fair since it would rapidly escalate to "really damned tense" about two seconds after Edward told them the news. Awkward wasn't so bad. I tried to appreciate it, sort of like the calm before the storm. Or was it more like the eye of the hurricane? I was so damned tired. It was too much of an effort to think. My brain hurt. My boobs hurt. And I was pretty sure my bladder now had the capacity of a hobbit's thimble.

I supposed the dinner was fantastic, judging by all of the smacking lips and moans of appreciation. If I closed my eyes and just listened, it sounded pretty dirty. I had to concentrate really hard or I knew I would start laughing inappropriately. To me, it all pretty much tasted like cardboard. I glanced at Edward and he seemed to be mostly pushing food around on his plate. Even Esme seemed kind of quiet. The only people really enjoying the dinner were the same ones who were about to get a very unpleasant and unexpected shock. I looked at my mother and wondered if she would faint or throw something.

Maybe she'd do both. Throw something first and then faint. Or maybe it would she would storm out of the house. The possibilities were almost endless and my mom was pretty creative when it came to expressing her displeasure. I sighed, knowing that she and I wouldn't be best buddies any time soon. Of course, we'd never been extremely close. I was more like my dad. She loved me. I loved her, but we didn't _get_ each other. And now this…

Briefly, I wondered if she would throw me out of the house.

No. Probably not, if only because that would make the gossip so much worse. She was very aware of her position as the police chief's wife. I had a sneaking suspicion that one reason she'd welcomed Esme's friendship so much was that Esme was the wife of a doctor, and carried her own clout in Forks' small society. My mom was unfailingly kind to the wives of the other police officers who worked under my dad, but Esme's friendship did give Mom a certain edge among the well-to-do who might have looked down on a cop's wife, even if he was the chief of police. Renee Swan needed that, probably because she'd grown up extremely poor. She'd never forgotten the feeling of being an outsider, not quite good enough. So I understood it, even if I didn't particularly like it. Besides, in this case it had worked to my advantage. She had been thrilled to see me dating a doctor's son. I was willing to bet she wasn't going to be quite so thrilled about that in a few minutes.

It wasn't that my mom was a bad person. She really wasn't. She just tended to react first and think about it later. Which led to a lot of apologies and hurt feelings. My dad was used to it. He said she needed to "blow off some steam before her brain kicked in." I thought my dad was pretty patient to put up with her shit.

Of course, that didn't mean he'd be patient with me – or with us. And our little "situation."

Shit. They were all finishing up their desserts, which meant it was show time. I looked at Edward again and he looked a little green. It was a color I'd become familiar with and I wondered if he was going to hurl. We could hurl together, maybe make an act out of it. "Come see the amazing puking stupid teenagers!"

Shit. I really had to focus.

Esme cleared the table with Rosalie's help (why hadn't we made arrangements for her to be gone?). Way too soon Esme was giving Edward one of those patented Esme Cullen looks, which meant he needed to get it over with. No time like the present and all that shit. He gave her a small nod and cleared his throat. Everyone turned to look at him except me. I was intently studying a spot on the wall above my father's head. I could already feel my face flaming.

"Uh…well…" Edward stammered and I felt his hand reach for mine under the table. "Well…" He took a deep breath.

"What is it son?" Carlisle asked, sounding almost amused. "Spit it out."

Edward's hand tightened on my so hard that I let out a little whimper. Immediately, he relaxed his grip and rubbed my hand apologetically. I squeezed his hand. This was it. We were in this together. _I love you_. I hope he heard what I was feeling.

"Well the thing is," Edward started again and this time his voice sounded more certain. He was getting his strength from somewhere and I needed to do the same. We were in this together. As long as we had each other, we'd work the other stuff out. "The thing is that Bella and I…" With his free hand, he rubbed at the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous and I saw Carlisle's eyes narrow. He knew Edward's habits as well as I did. "The thing is that we found out Bella's…pregnant."

There. That was the _thing_.

And the whole room went silent. It was like one of those horror movies where you have that moment of complete silence and calm just before the killer starts swinging a machete. Or a chainsaw. Or an axe. Carefully, I looked around at all their faces.

Carlisle's jaw was clenching and unclenching. I hoped his fists weren't doing the same under the table. My dad just sort of looked shock. "Bells?" he whispered, looking at me like he wanted me to deny it. And I did, of course, want to deny it, I mean. But I couldn't because it was nothing more or less than the absolute truth.

My mom's face had turned an alarming shade of purple and briefly I wondered if she had some sort of heart condition. That would just be perfect. Everyone would ask, "How did your mom die?" And I would have to answer, "We killed her with a pregnancy test."

Talk about death without dignity.

Esme reached over and grabbed Carlisle's hand from under the table. She held onto his hand tightly, sort of stroking it as she waited for him to look at her. He finally turned and stared. "You knew," he stated in a weird, flat voice.

"The kids told me a few days ago," Esme replied calmly, meeting his eyes squarely. "And they wanted to be the ones to tell you, so I asked everyone to dinner."

Carlisle's gaze swung back to Edward, narrow and hard. "You do realize that you've ruined your life, don't you young man?" His words were cold and clipped and Edward flinched.

"We've changed our lives, certainly," Edward acknowledged in a soft voice. "But I don't think it's fair to say we've ruined them."

Rosalie was looking at both of us with her mouth hanging open. I could see her hands gripping the edge of the table as if she was trying very hard not to hit Edward. Or me. Or both.

My mom gave a short, hard bark of laughter that sounded really loud in the too quiet room. "That's just perfect," she said. "All our plans for Bella…ruined! Because you couldn't keep it in your pants, Edward Cullen!" She looked at me. "And you, Bella. How _could _you? Was ruining your life worth a few minutes in the backseat of Edward's car?"

It was at that point that I wanted to inform her that Baby C had not been conceived in the backseat of Edward's car, but in fact, had come into existence just one floor down and about fifty feet away from where we were sitting – while all of them were in the house. But I felt Edward's hand tighten on mine. Damn. He knew me too well. So I clamped my lips and just shook my head.

My dad heaved a sigh and pushed away from the table. "Dad..?" But he only smiled sadly.

"Just give me a minute, Bells," he said softly and walked out of the room. Edward looked after him for a moment.

"I'll be right back," he whispered.

"Where are you going?" I hissed. There was no way in hell he was leaving me alone with _this_ crowd. I wasn't going to be the only Christian in this little coliseum. These lions looked hungry – and really, really pissed off.

"I need to talk to your dad for a minute," Edward said, sliding out from his seat. He looked at his mother. "You might want to get Renee a Xanax or something," he suggested. "She looks like she's just a bit upset." Then he was gone.

Leaving my mom, Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie staring at _me_. I wondered what they'd say if I suggested discussing baby names. Probably too soon. So I just blinked at them like I was some sort of owl and kept my mouth shut.

That's when my moms started crying, and I'm not talking about quiet weeping. This was loud and keening, and just a tiny bit over the top. That's my mom. Over the top. "My baby!" she cried. "Her life is ruined!"

Esme took another gulp of wine and looked at my mother. "Look at the bright side, Renee," Esme suggested and I wondered just how much wine Esme had had to drink. "You and I will be grandmothers." Obviously too _much_ wine because Esme gave her loopy little smile like this was _good_ news.

Needless to say, my mom did not calm down at that reminder.

Well, shit.


	9. Chapter 9: This Changes Everything

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 9: This Changes Everything**

_**Edward's POV**_

Following after Chief Swan was probably the hardest thing I'd ever done. It was certainly the scariest. I felt like I should get a fucking medal or something. He was standing on the porch, staring out into the woods.

Wondering where to bury my body maybe? He'd know spots all over the state. They'd _never_ find me if Charlie Swan didn't want me found. And I was betting he'd be pretty damned good at covering up evidence too.

"Sir," I said quietly and came to stand near him, though just out of arms' reach. I might be feeling reckless and brave, but I wasn't _that_ stupid – all evidence to the contrary aside.

Charlie gave me a sidelong look and grunted. I don't usually speak caveman, no matter what Bella said, so I couldn't decide if that grunt meant, "_There's a nice spot by the river where the soil is soft enough to dig up without too much effort_," or "_Lord give me patience and keep me from killing this stupid idiot boy._"

It could have gone either way.

Then Chief Swan said the last thing I expected. Okay, maybe not the last thing – _that_ would have been something along the lines of "Damn thrilled to hear about the baby, son!" No, what he said was mostly confusing. "You got a smoke?" he asked, his eyebrows quirked expectantly.

I shook my head. "No," I replied, wishing more than almost anything at that moment that I _did_ have a smoke. I'd give it to him. Hell I'd literally _run_ to the store to get him a carton of the fucking things. Anything to keep this guy from murdering me. "I don't smoke." That was a good thing, right? I had already been having sex with his daughter; surely he'd be happy that I hadn't added smoking to my list. Of course, he'd probably much rather I smoked than… Never mind. I looked at him, my confusion probably clear as fucking glass on my face. "You don't either." I paused. "Do you sir?" Once again, I pondered the hidden habits of parents. They were apparently sneakier than I'd thought. Look at my mom, the super spy. Maybe at night she danced the tango with my dad and planned assassinations and shit, like in True Lies. Maybe she gave Jamie Lynn Curtis a run for her money on the sly. Scary thought.

Charlie grunted again. Once more I was left to my dubious skills of interpretation. I didn't move any closer and got ready to run if need be. "No," he finally snarled. 'But this would be a damned good time to start, don't you think?"

I wanted to laugh. Really, I did. But I restrained myself even though I think I came close to swallowing my own fucking tongue. "Yeah, if here was ever a time to start, I think this qualifies."

I felt his eyes on my face again, and this time his glance was sharp and measuring. "You planning on running out on my Bells? Leaving her alone to handle all of this alone?"

"No sir," I answered with confidence. This was one question that I didn't have to think about. Leaving Bella was the last thing I planned to do. "I promise you that I'm in this for good. We're going to see this through…together. You have my word on that." My word probably meant shit to him right about now, but it was the best I could do.

His eyes narrowed. "We'll see," he replied. Obviously, I hadn't convinced him. Okay, I could understand that. Who could blame him if he wasn't my biggest fan right now? I had impregnated his teenage daughter. Surely that entitled him to some skepticism about my qualities as a man to be trusted.

"I love her, sir," I added.

"Too bad you didn't love her enough to keep your damned hands off of her," Charlie said dryly. He looked down at my crotch and I wondered if I should try to protect the big guy and his friends. "And your pants zipped," he added.

"Yes sir," I agreed, only because it was the fucking truth. I was a horny motherfucker who had screwed up big time – and I'd taken Bella along for the ride. "And for that I'm really sorry." I shoved my hands in my pockets, just in case I needed to cup and run. "More than you can know."

Charlie looked away from me, probably to try and keep from wrapping his hands around my throat and squeezing – really hard. I had a feeling that he'd really enjoy watching my eyes bug out of my head. Of course, I couldn't really blame him. "Well," he mumbled. "You're not the first young couple this has happened to, you know." He shoved his hands in his pockets and I wondered if he kept a weapon there. I took a step back, just in case. "And you sure as hell won't be the last." He didn't sound angry, he just sounded...sad. And that was worse, somehow.

"No sir," I said. "Still, I wanted you to know that… Well, that I'm sorry sir, for all the trouble I've caused."

He turned toward me again, his mouth twisted dryly. "I don't think you made that baby all by yourself son," he told me.

I could feel the smile threatening but I was sure that would ruin the surprisingly peaceful mood that Chief Swan was in, so I remained impassive. I pretended I was a Sphinx. Or Keanu Reeves. Whatever.

Chief Swan laughed softly, shaking his head. "Well, I won't run in interference with Renee, just so you know. You two are on your own with her." He shook his head, indicating what a shit storm that was bound to be. I swallowed hard and gave a nod. "But we're a family, and that includes you now since it seems you're going to be the father of my…" He took a deep breath. "My grandchild. So we're a family, and families stick together – especially in the tough times." He took a step forward and I repressed the impulse to yelp like a little bitch and run inside to my mommy. "It won't be easy, Edward. You two have messed up. But I guess you already know that. I won't make it harder by telling you a bunch of stuff you already know."

"Thank you sir," I said in a strangled voice, really glad I hadn't been a pussy and run to hide behind my mother.

"You're going to have to make some new plans now, Edward, do things a bit differently. But I guess you'll survive," Charlie added with another twist of his mouth. "You've both made your lives infinitely harder, but…" He shrugged. "What's done is done and there's no use worrying about coulda, shoulda, woulda…"

"I know it'll be difficult, sir," I said, feeling the weight of what we'd done start to finally settle in on me. It weighed a fucking ton. My heart started beating fast and felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. My palms were sweaty and I wondered briefly how much Charlie Swan would hate me if I actually fainted like a pussy. For some reason, I had a fit of honesty. "I'm scared, sir," I said in a whisper.

"You'd be a damn fool if you weren't," Charlie said with more than a hint of exasperation. "I'm only going to say this once, Edward, so listen up. Am I pissed at you? Hell yes. I'm pissed at Bella too. But mostly I'm disappointed…and worried. No, scratch that. Mostly I'm scared shitless …scared for both of you." He shook his head. "This changes everything."

"Yes, sir."

"One last thing Edward…"

I looked at him and waited for the punch in the face. I had it coming. I knew that. I sort of braced myself. I would take it like the man I needed to be. "You take care of my baby girl, Edward Cullen. You hear me? You'd better take good care of her and that baby, because if you mess that up, nothing else you do in your life will mean shit. Do you understand me?"

I did. I nodded.

_**Bella's POV**_

"I'm too young to be a grandma!" Renee wailed.

Esme smirked slightly. "Obviously not," she quipped. I looked at Esme and I knew my eyes were bugging out of my head.

For a moment, there was stunned silence, and then a miracle occurred. Renee began to laugh. The laughter turned into tears before too long and my mom sank to the couch, where Carlisle took her hand. He glared at me like I had done something horrible. Okay, I had. _We_ had. I ducked my head, no longer able to face the accusation in his usually compassionate gaze.

I jumped a little when I felt two arms wrap around me. Edward… I leaned back against him and closed my eyes, just taking the comfort his embrace offered. I forgot about my sobbing mother, his angry father, the ever-patient Esme, my father – Shit. Edward had been alone outside with my father.

Opening my eyes, I whirled around and started inspecting Edward's face for any telltale signs of damage. Nothing. Huh. I wondered if he had any internal bleeding. Charlie was a cop; he'd know how to do damage without leaving any evidence. Before I could get myself really worked up, Edward leaned in and whispered, "We just talked."

Whew. So maybe we could avoid a homicide – tonight at least.

My dad walked in a few minutes after Edward. He looked at me for a long moment and I felt my eyes filling with tears. I hated that I had disappointed him so deeply. I hoped that one day he could forgive me…forgive us. Then he was walking toward me and I felt Edward's arms fall away from me, but it was okay because then my dad was hugging me and telling me that he loved me.

He still loved me. No matter how badly I had screwed up. My father loved me. I knew that he always would, because that's what fathers do. No matter what, no matter how screwed up I was, or how much trouble I was in, my dad would _always_ love me.

And suddenly, for the first time, I believed that it might be all right - one day.


	10. Chapter 10: Just Hold On

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 10: Just Hold On**

_**Edward's POV**_

If I thought telling our parents was a nightmare, it had nothing on breaking the news to Bella's best friend Alice. Okay, I wasn't even there. Bella wouldn't let me be there. Said something about this being a "girl thing" and that she needed to tell her alone. Whatever.

Afterward, Bella told me that it had gone okay. Alice had cried a little (she later told Bella that she was worried about her) and then Alice had offered to beat me up (which she could totally do, Tinkerbell or not) if I was being a douche about it all. After Bella assured her that I was not being a douche (no more than normal I guess), Alice had hugged her and asked if she could throw Bella a baby shower. Angela offered to help Rosalie castrate me if the need arose. I sincerely hoped that it wouldn't.

So, one catastrophe that I wasn't a part of, though I was absolutely the _cause_ of it.

All right, it wasn't even close to a nightmare. It just felt wrong leaving Bella to break the news to anyone by herself. My Bella is one damned stubborn woman. And it kind of turned me on.

Down boy.

_**Bella's POV**_

It's been an interesting day. And by that I mean it's been tortuous, hellish, and any other really horrific adjective you could think of. My brain hurt too much to come up with more. My mom decided that the school needed to know about our "situation" even if we weren't making any kind of general announcement. I would rather have had my fingernails pulled out one at a time while listening to the Jonas Brothers, but I wasn't given much of a choice in the matter. When she told my father of her plans, my dad just sighed and rolled his eyes. But he didn't try to stop her, which made me want to kick him. Hard. In the balls.

Newsflash… Apparently pregnancy makes you cranky.

I can't imagine why. I mean, it's so much fun barfing twenty times a day, watching your boobs expand to Anime proportions, and facing the idea of prom (don't even get me _started_ on prom) in a maternity gown. It's any girl's dream of her senior year.

So, I called Edward. The string of profanity that spewed from his mouth would have made me laugh at any other time. At the moment, however, all I could do was imagine sitting across from the principal and listening to her tell me that I was a "bad girl" and that I'd gotten myself into an "unfortunate situation." This would be a refrain of what my mother had been muttering for days now. I had seriously considered running away to join the circus (but I don't like heights and clowns creep me out) or becoming a nun (but I was pretty sure they had rules about pregnant nuns).

Then Edward had stopped cursing and had taken a deep breath. I could almost see him pinching the bridge of his nose like he did when he got really annoyed. He'd been clenching his eyes shut and looking all pissy and cold. It was kind of cute, as long as it wasn't directed at me. "Stall her," he finally said. "I'm going to talk to my mom. Tell your mom we'll meet you there."

And just like that, I felt better. I wasn't going to be facing the principal by myself. I wouldn't be alone in a room with two disapproving, disappointed adults. Edward would be there with me. The Three Musketeers, I reminded myself. I put my hand on my belly. "I hope you know how much we care about you, Baby C."

Baby C remained silent, which was not a surprise. She was probably in there wondering how the hell she got stuck with such incompetent tools as parents. "Sorry about that, kiddo."

_**Edward's POV**_

Leave it to Renee Swan to take an already bad situation and ratchet it straight up into unfuckingbelievably awful. I wasn't sure why she felt this insane desire to drag Bella through a "confession" in front of the principal. Part of me worried that it was just another way to punish Bella for having gotten pregnant. Of course, I knew I should give Renee more credit. No matter how annoying I found her, she was Bella's mom and she loved her. So no matter how bizarre her motivation, I had to believe that somehow, she thought this was for Bella's good.

I was going to try and give her the benefit of the doubt until I had proof otherwise. Besides, she was going to be my kid's grandmother. That was a scary thought. My mom hadn't said much when I told her Renee's plans. Instead, she'd grabbed her car keys and told me to follow her so that I could drive Bella home after school. That is, if Bella was still speaking to me. It was my fault that Bella was about to be paraded in front of Mrs. DiGorgio and read the riot act. It was my fault that Bella was barfing all the time. And it was my fault that Renee –

Wait. No. Renee wasn't my fault. That's just the way she was.

I followed my mom and pulled into a spot, grateful that I didn't see the Swan's car yet and even more grateful that only a few students had started to trickle in. It would take a while for everyone to get back into the routine of school after the "rest" of our winter break. That was a crock. Ours hadn't been so restful.

My mom sat down in the uncomfortable chairs in the office waiting area after calmly informing Mrs. Cope that she – and Mrs. Swan – would need to see Mrs. DiGorgio first thing. Mrs. Cope looked at me, then looked at my mom, then looked down at the appointment book and wrote something in it. I wasn't sure why she needed to write in it since we were already there and there was no one else waiting, but hey, it's her job. I could see the curiosity and speculation in Mrs. Cope's eyes. She had always liked me, for some reason. I could only hope that she wouldn't be spreading the news. Let's face it, the teachers gossip even more than the students. What else do they have to talk about? It's not like they have real lives or anything.

A moment later, the door opened and Renee breezed in, with a pale Bella trailing behind her. I hopped up and put my arm around Bella, leaning in to give her a little kiss on the cheek. Renee gave me a look that was probably intended to make my balls and dick fall off, but I just ignored her. Besides, why get upset about a kiss on the cheek when I'd already impregnated Bella with my reckless, irresponsible sperm? My dick twitched, which was really inappropriate but pretty much par for the course.

Bella settled into a chair beside me and sort of sagged into my side. It felt good to have her there, but I was a little worried at how pale she looked. There were dark circles under her eyes that bothered the fuck out of me, but –

"Mrs. DiGorgio will see you now," Mrs. Cope said. I took a deep breath and squeezed Bella's hand.

_**Bella's POV**_

I had tried to tell myself all the way to the school that it couldn't possibly be as bad as I imagined it would be. I was right. It was much, much worse. My mom started the conversation with, "Well, you should know that Chief Swan and I have just been informed that Bella and-" She stopped to give Edward a nasty look. "Edward here have been incredibly reckless and irresponsible." She pointed at Edward. "He got her…pregnant!"

Something in her words made Edward choke and start to turn red. When I looked at him curiously, he just shook his head and tried to get himself under control. And here I thought I was the one who got the giggles.

Mrs. DiGorgio just raised her eyebrows at my mother, not saying a word. Esme sat there and looked like someone with new furniture and a houseguest with an untrained puppy. Long-suffering I guess you'd call it.

My mom huffed when Mrs. DiGorgio remained silent. I guess she was hoping that the principal would look at me and shake her head, lecturing us about our bad behavior. Maybe use that newspaper on me that the bad puppy needed. "And I think that you should be aware of the situation as it's likely to interfere with school."

Instead, Mrs. DiGorgio turned to me and asked me a question, all casual and at ease. "Bella, why don't you tell me how you think your current situation will affect your school year?"

I was mostly shocked at how calm she was, like my mom had told her I'd have to miss P.E. for a week. Wait. God. I bet I could _totally_ get out of P.E. for the rest of the year. I mean, I could practically barf on command now. Hello cloud? Yes, I found your silver lining!

"Uh well," I mumbled. I didn't know there was going to be a quiz. If I had, I would have studied! Shit.

Edward leapt into the fray and diverted attention away from me, which was a good thing since I A) had to pee again and B) was feeling a little barfy. What a shock.

"Mrs. DiGorgio," he started, and he was using that "aw shucks, ma'am, aren't I just the most adorable thing on the planet?" voice. It worked for him, I admitted. Besides, adorable or not, I remembered him pushing me up against a wall and having his way with me. Oops. Focus, Bella. "Bella and I both intend to finish school, of course. Though we'd both appreciate being excused when Bella has a doctor's appointment or something. I'm sure you can appreciate that I'd want to be there." He squeezed my hand and I stared in shock. It was almost like listening to his father – this calm, collected man was speaking without a single bit of profanity. I didn't know he had it in him. He looked at me and almost winked. He knew exactly what I was thinking. Adorable ass.

Mrs. DiGorgio got that slightly dazed look that almost any female (except Coach Silvestri, and I have my suspicions about her roommate Annie) does when Edward turned on the Cullen charm to its full wattage. It should be registered with Homeland Security or something as a weapon of mass destruction. It reduced anything with an attraction to males to a pile of incoherent goo. Panties within a five mile radius dropped and pulses sped. Again with the focus, Bella!

"Uh, yes, I'm sure that can be arranged," she said. She looked at me carefully, and it wasn't the "look at this stupid teenager" expression. It was the "what can I do to help?" expression. That made me cry, of course. Big, fucking surprise there.

My mom opened her mouth to say something stupid (I'm sure, trust me on this one) but Mrs. DiGorgio held up her hand and smiled coolly. "Mrs. Swan, I assure you that this is nothing that hasn't occurred before. Situations like this happen – we're all human and we all make mistakes. Bella and Edward are two of the most responsible young people it's ever been my privilege to work with, and I feel confident that they will rise above this…challenge, too. In the meantime, it is _our_ duty to give them our support and assistance in any way possible."

She pulled out a piece of paper. "I will inform Coach Clapp and Coach Silvestri that you won't be participating in physical education for the rest of the year." She gave me a dry smile, probably well aware of my hatred for P.E. "I won't mention why just yet. Later on, I'll address the issue with the staff. But I suspect you two would rather have some time to…adjust." The principal looked at Esme. "I'm sure that your parents are going to need some time as well." Esme merely smiled serenely and reached out to pat Edward's hand.

My mom gawped at Mrs. DiGorgio like she had started in speaking in Mandarin Chinese. "But…" Apparently, I had not been given the dressing down she so desperately wanted me to have. Mrs. DiGorgio smiled.

"I appreciate you taking the time to get us acquainted with the situation," the principal said quietly. "And now that we know, we can all work together to help Bella and Edward achieve their goals. This is a bump in the road, to be sure. But life is seldom what we plan."

And there was something in Mrs. DiGorgio's voice that told me she just might understand a little better than I would have thought. Funny, now that I thought about it, I remembered she had a daughter in college. And she really didn't look that old – maybe even younger than my mom. I wondered…

Mrs. DiGorgio looked at me and smiled. It wasn't patronizing or judging. It was a little bit sad, but mostly…

She knew.

She understood. She _really_ understood.

And I knew something too. I knew that I didn't have to give up all my dreams because of this. That one day, things _could_ be good again. I just had to hold on until then.


	11. Chapter 11: Bitch, Thy Name is Lauren

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 11: Bitch, Thy Name is Lauren**

_**Edward's POV**_

Alice and Rosalie and Angela told me they were taking Bella to Port Angeles today. It had been a long ass week, though as far as I knew, none of the teachers knew about our little _situation_ just yet. Apparently, Mrs. DiGorgio had been mum on the topic and Mrs. Cope didn't seem to be gossiping. I wasn't sure yet which one of us was the most relieved – Bella or me. Neither one of us was ready for the talk that our news would rouse up – and there would be a lot of it.

Anyway, Alice declared that Bella needed a little pampering, and she and Angela were treating her to some time at a spa. Bella usually hated that sort of shit, but I could tell she sort of needed to not think about things for a while, and I knew from my mom and Rosalie that a "spa day" was probably exactly what she needed. Besides, Rosalie told me not to be a dick about it and encourage Bella to go.

So I did, mostly to keep my nuts attached.

Rosalie had decided that I was to blame for the whole damned mess, so she was being extra nice (especially for Rosalie) to Bella. And really, she was right. It was yours truly who had decided to **A)** bang Bella against the wall, and **B)** not haul my lazy ass up to my room to get a condom first (or even better, kept one in my pocket – a solution that had only occurred to me after seeing the little stick change our lives). So long as Rosie was being nice to Bella, I didn't mind taking the blame so much. Bella needed it more than I did.

And besides, Rosalie was scary. But at least Bella would be taken care of, since Rosalie was pretty much like a pit bull now with Bella. She'd watch over Bella whether Bella wanted to be guarded or not.

I told Bella that I'd be driving to Port Angeles too, mostly just to get the hell out of Forks. It was getting uncomfortable being around my dad. He kept looking at me like he was expecting...something. I wasn't sure what. But I knew I wasn't delivering. There was this look of almost disappointment in his eyes that was starting to get on my nerves. Pissed off? That was understandable. Cold and unapproachable? Nothing less than expected. But this was freaking me the fuck out and I didn't like it.

When I asked my mom about it, she just kissed me and said, "Oh you two men will have to work that out on your own, Edward." Then she smiled. "But remember, your father loves you just as much as I do. Sometimes it's just harder for him to show you." Then she giggled. "His mom didn't breastfeed him, so it's no surprise that sometimes he's closed off from those he loves." It was an old joke. I hated it. My mom knew that, thus the basis of its appeal for her. After all, she had adopted us, so we hadn't been…never mind. Don't need to go there.

I rolled my eyes and concentrated on not vomiting. The thought of Grammy Cullen's boobs… Ugh. That was a visual I could do without. Forever.

Bella texted me when Alice and Angela arrived to pick her up. Rosie had already gone over to Bella's house first thing in the morning. The Swans were still speaking to _her_, so that was good. Everyone knew that it was the horny motherfucker (which was now _literally_ true, I suppose) that had caused all the problems.

It was this guy.

So I found myself wandering the streets of Port Angeles, weren't really all that much more interesting than Forks actually. Fuck. My. Life. I wondered if Bella was having a good time "getting waxed and buffed and polished and plucked to within an inch" of her life as she had described it. I allowed myself to wonder (I'm the horny motherfucker, remember?) if she was getting waxed and_ where_ exactly. Even more importantly, I wondered if she'd be willing play Show & Tell later.

My dick was of the opinion that it was a good idea.

Of course, my dick is well…a dick. As our current situation proves.

I went into the bookstore, intending to buy Bella another copy of Wuthering Heights. Hers was looking pretty fucking sad at this point. I hated that book, and I'd only read it under duress. There was no way in hell I'd ever read it again. But Bella seemed to like it. Of course, there was no accounting for taste, since Bella seemed to love _my_ sorry ass. I was just glad she did. Then I got distracted and found myself in the Baby & Pregnancy section.

I looked around to make sure no one was watching and I picked up a book that looked like it was straight out of the fucking 50s. Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads. It had a picture of a lumberjack looking dad with a baby in one of those bizarre backpack things. I shuddered. Too weird.

I put it back. I looked down a bit. Holy Shit. There was a whole fucking section on Teenage Pregnancy. Apparently I wasn't the _only_ horny motherfucker out there. Who knew? Slyly, I picked one up.

_Your Baby's First Year: A Guide for Teenage Parents_.

Well…fuck me. That was me. That was us. We were going to be teenaged parents. I flipped through it, noticing that the kids in it didn't seem so very different than Bell and me. We weren't special. We didn't lead charmed lives – not anymore. Now we were facing a shitload of reality.

I couldn't stand it anymore so I shoved the book back on the shelf and lit out of there like I had Lauren Mallory on my ass. I walked and kept on walking once I left. I didn't know where I was going. Or care much either. I found myself looking in the shop windows, but not really seeing what was there.

And then…

Then I saw something. Something that caught my eye. I had been wandering around, lost and confused and frankly scared to death, and something I saw there called out to me, though I had no fucking clue why. I only knew that something deep inside of me went "BING!" The guy inside saw me looking and gave me a big smile and waved me inside – all used car salesman like. I snorted. Now was not the time.

No fucking way.

Wasn't happening.

I didn't want to hear his sales pitch. My life was complicated enough. And then I opened the fucking door.

An hour later I walked out with something tucked away in my pocket – and an idea.

Was I fucking insane?

Probably.

_**Bella's POV**_

Okay, so the spa day wasn't complete torture. Just mostly. While the massage was heavenly – even after I had to inform the massage therapist with a blush that I was pregnant – I could have done without the pedicure. I just don't like people touching my feet. It gave me the creeps. So I endured that in silence, though Alice could tell by my expression that I just wanted to yank my feet away and tuck them under me like a cat.

But at the end of it, I did feel more relaxed and less pregnant, if such a thing is possible. I felt more like Regular Bella and less like Pregnant Bella. They were two very different people and that was only just starting to dawn on me.

I called Edward when I got home and he sounded weird. Not just the "I'm horny" weird, but like something was definitely _off_. I pressed him but he just sort of skirted around the issue. I let it go because I knew Edward well enough to be sure that he wasn't going to talk even one nanosecond before he was ready. That's just how my man was.

I had half-expected him to beg me to come over to see him, mostly since him being in my house had gotten a tad uncomfortable. _Now_ my mother had decided that we shouldn't be left alone in my room together. That cracked me up, especially since it was a few months too late. Did she think he was going to impregnate me _twice_? But Edward told me I sounded tired (I was) and told me to get some sleep (I promised I would) and then told me he loved me.

"I'd do anything for you…and the baby too," he said just before he hung up. "You know that, right?"

I was already feeling sleepy. "Yeah, baby, I know that." I rubbed my hand on my belly, though the idea of a whole other person being in there didn't seem real yet. "We love you too."

I heard him take a quick breath. "I like the sound of that," he said. "Night, Bella."

I was asleep almost before I hung up the phone.

_**Edward's POV**_

The weekend was over which meant it was time to go back to school. First thing Monday morning, Mrs. DiGorgio pulled us into her office. She smiled at us and asked how our weekend was. We both muttered something all sociable and polite, wondering what the hell was up _now_.

"I wanted to let you know that I've discussed things with your teachers," she said gently. I felt Bella's hand lock around mine. "I felt it was best just in case Bella needed to be excused because she wasn't feeling well or something. Knowing the facts will allow her teachers to be more flexible." She smiled at Bella. "Pregnancy is very demanding physically, especially in someone your age, Bella." She didn't say it all bitchy, just like she was stating a fact. "And I want to make sure that you're okay…physically as well as in other ways."

She smiled at us again. "I want you both to know that my door is always open. If you need to talk, if you're having problems with a teacher or another student… Please, I want you to feel free to speak with me." Mrs. DiGorgio sighed and sat back in her chair. "I'm sure between all of us we can ensure that you two live up to your potential. I have great faith in you."

I thanked her while Bella cried a little. I had started carrying tissues in my pocket which made me feel gay as hell, but you do what you've gotta do. So Monday I was feeling pretty positive.

Which should have been my first fucking clue that it was all about to go to hell.

We had both really hoped we'd have some more time to figure things out before it all went public. Of course, we'd also hoped we'd have our first kid sometime after college too. And I'm sure Baby C would have liked to have had a doctor and a lawyer for parents, but we all know how_ that_ worked out, don't we? You don't always get what you hope for.

So now it's Tuesday and Bella and I are fucked. Well, _more_ fucked. She barfed at school today…in the lunchroom in glorious full color and with an audience. And really, I can't completely blame the pregnancy. Who the fuck thought that tuna casserole was a good menu option? No one actually eats that shit.

But the smell… Oh fuck me, the smell was bad and I'm not even growing a person inside of me. So Bella's lunch made a reappearance. Not a shock, considering.

Lauren Mallory, that bitch, kind of snorted and said in a nasty voice, "God, Bella, are you knocked up or something?"

Of course, she was just kidding in that mean, nasty way she has because she was a born bitch. But Bella's got no fucking poker face. At all. So one look at Bella's face and Lauren immediately knew she had hit pay dirt. Why did it have to be Lauren? And why now? We'd been counting on at least a month before everyone knew. A month before everyone started whispering behind our backs, snickering at our stupidity, wondering what we'd do next. At least a single, blissful month when the pressure to tell our parents was off and before we had to deal with the pressure of everyone else.

But no, stupid, fucking Lauren Mallory had to blow that for us. Lauren gaped at Bella for a moment and then she said in a really loud voice that probably carried to Seattle, "Oh. My. God. You are. You're pregnant!" She howled with laughter at that point. She looked from Bella to me. "Oh wow," she drawled. "How the mighty have fallen." Lauren gave Bella one last nasty look and shook her head. "Looks like you're not so smart after all, Bella." Lauren looked at me and gave a sly, sick smile. "When you get tired of the little mama, call me." She rolled her eyes. "At least _I_ know how not to get pregnant." Then she strolled out of the lunch room, not even caring about what she'd done. Typical.

I would probably have gone after her and shown her just how much I didn't appreciate her lack of manners and her behavior toward Bella, but Bella tugged at my hand. I looked down at her and saw that the green hue hadn't really faded from her face. She was trying not to meet the eyes of anyone in the lunchroom, and finally just sort of buried her face in my shoulder.

"Can you take me home, please?" she begged.

I put my arm around her, gave everyone a good, hard look to let them know that we were still together and that I wasn't going to listen to _anyone_ talk any shit about her or _our_ situation. Angela nodded. _Take care of her,_ she mouthed. I'd never talk shit about Alice or Angela again; even when they cock blocked me.

"Will you tell-?"

I didn't even have a chance to finish the sentence before Angela was nodding and shooing us toward the exit. I knew she'd take care of telling our next period teacher that Bella and I wouldn't be there.

And suddenly I was really fucking glad that Mrs. DiGorgio had told them and that she, at least, was on our side. Then I got Bella to my house (because I'm a chicken shit and didn't want to be there when her mom got home) and held her while she cried.

You do what you've gotta do.


	12. Chapter 12: Pizza and Peace Offerings

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

_And now for a little change of pace, we hear from Carlisle. Don't hate him too much; he's dealing with a lot right now. _

**Chapter 12: Pizza and Peace Offerings**

_**Carlisle's POV**_

The phone rang in my office and I saw immediately that it was Forks High School. That could mean nothing good. I half-expected to hear the school nurse tell me that Bella had been rushed to the hospital or had fainted or… I wasn't sure what. I felt as if I had been sitting on the blade of a knife, expecting disaster ever since Edward had informed us of his impending fatherhood.

"Maria," I said. "Is everything all right?"

I had called Maria after Esme told me what Renee had done. I had discovered that the kids had an ally in Mrs. DiGorgio and I was pleased. They would need all the help they could get, and having her on their side was invaluable. Renee's meddling had actually proven helpful for once.

I understood Renee's reasons, but honestly, I thought she might be putting more pressure on the kids than they needed right now. Though it was difficult, I was keeping _my_ mouth shut until I worked through the anger and hurt. Better not to speak than to say something I couldn't take back.

"Well, it could be better," Maria said, but I heard nothing in her voice to indicate true alarm, so I relaxed. Just a bit. "Bella threw up in the lunchroom and Lauren Mallory…" Maria sighed in exasperation. "Well, she took a stab in the dark and sort of…announced Bella's pregnancy to everyone."

"Shit," I muttered. "Sorry," I added automatically. I knew that the gossip would spread fast and far. It could also get vicious, and probably would; suddenly I wished that there was something I could do to protect them from it – all of it. Unfortunately, it was out of my hands, as so much was these days. I hated the feeling of helplessness.

"I've already called Esme and she said she'd call Charlie and Renee," Maria added with a laugh. "They're both at work, but Esme will tell hem that there's no need to go home. I think Edward took Bella to your house."

"Good," I said. "And thank you for… well for everything. You've been a miracle." Truly, I sometimes felt as if I would go mad if not for the gentle wisdom and encouragement of Esme and Maria. They were keeping me grounded as I worked out these new realities in my mind.

"I've been where they are, Carlisle," Maria said. "And you and I both know it's going to take some doing to get them through this thing."

"I know." I paused. "I'm afraid I'm not handling it well. Esme's doing so much better," I admitted. "But then again, she usually does."

"She's a special woman," Maria said. "But you knew that."

"I had a feeling," I laughed. "Anyway, thanks for the heads up. I think I'll pick up some pizza on my way home."

I sighed as I hung up the phone. I thought of my son, and the girl he loved. They were just children really, but they were about to be thrown into the deep end and expected to swim. I wanted, more than anything, to save them.

I was just afraid I couldn't. All I could really do was to stand by and be ready to offer a helping hand.

_**Edward's POV**_

My dad arrived home early, surprising the fuck out of me. He just didn't do that shit. He lived and breathed being a doctor. Proving once again that parents just want to keep you off balance, he brought home pizza, putting it on the table with a kiss for my mom (gross), and then asking about Bella.

"How'd you hear about Bella?" I asked, confused.

My dad gave my mom a weird look and then shrugged. "Your mom told me."

This seemed to surprise my mom, but I let it go. I was starving. Bella was asleep on my bed, but I was betting she'd come around for a few slices of pizza. It was her favorite, vegetarian with extra mushroom. As I carried her food up, I was suddenly struck by the realization that my dad had not only remembered Bella's favorite kind of pizza, but that he'd gone out of his way to get it for her.

Fuck. I was living in the Twilight Zone.

Why couldn't he just stay an asshole? All the time. At least then I knew what to expect. When he was suddenly nice like this it just confused the shit out of me.

I didn't like it. Not one bit.

_**Bella's POV**_

Edward had held me until I fell asleep. He hadn't even groped me, which was a first. I wondered if that should worry me. What if he thought I was gross now? Then I out before I could give it too much thought. It was the smell of pizza that woke me up.

Well, that and the feel of Edward pressing his hard-on into my back. I guess there was no need to worry after all. "I brought you some pizza," he whispered into my ear, giving it a little lick. I shivered. How long had it been since we'd…? Well, you know. Between sheer terror, marathon vomiting sessions, and a lack of privacy (not to mention me falling asleep if I stayed still for more than 3.5 seconds), we just hadn't.

But the feeling of him pressed up against me was just…wow. Of course, the pizza smelled pretty damned good too. I looked up at him, biting my lip in indecision. He smirked at me, and this time it didn't even piss me off.

"Eat," he suggested. "Besides, my dad's actually in a good mood, so I thought we should…uhm…I guess go downstairs after you eat and maybe spend some…uh…time with them?" He laughed uncertainly. "You know, just so we can be on their good side for when we need baby-sitters."

I frowned, mostly because I was confused, but Edward thought I was mad. "My mom sort of wants me to cut him some slack, so…" Edward shrugged.

"No, I mean, that's fine," I assured him. "It's just a little weird. I thought he hated me, for you know..." I pointed to my belly and Baby C.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm the one he's not crazy about right now."

"Let me eat and we'll go downstairs." I kissed him lightly and I felt something twitch in his pants. That made me giggle. What a shock.

_**Carlisle's POV**_

Edward was holding Bella's hand when they made an appearance in the den. Bella seemed wary, and I knew I had only myself to blame. How could I explain to either of them that I had hoped for such a different life for them? That to see all of their potential possibly go to waste was painful. My heart ached for them. I was terrified of what waited for them in the future. I loved them, both of them, and this was just -

A delicate cough from Esme made me remember why I was home early. I remembered what she had said to me in our bedroom this morning. "You're going to lose our son, Carlisle, at a time when he needs you the most."

"But I didn't-" This disaster wasn't my fault, and here she was blaming me. Or at least, putting some of the responsibility on my shoulders. I felt a new edge of anger bloom inside of me. Couldn't she see that I just wasn't ready to make peace with this situation?

Esme had stopped the flow of my angry, self-righteous words and thoughts with a tender kiss. "_Show_ Edward how to be a man, show him how to be a father, Carlisle. I know you can. I know you want to, and all that's standing in the way is…well, you."

"He just doesn't _get_ it yet," I hissed. As had happened so often in our marriage, I didn't need to explain. Esme knew what I was thinking and feeling almost before I did.

"No," she agreed. "But maybe he just needs a gentle nudge in the right direction." She tilted her head and I knew I wasn't going to get away with my sulking much longer. "This is going to happen no matter how much you sulk. The only thing left now is to make the best of things and move on. What's done is done, Carlisle."

"All right," I finally agreed with much reluctance. "I'll try to put aside my own disappointment and focus on the kids…and the…" God, it was so hard to even _think_ the word, much less say it out loud. "The baby."

Esme reached up and kissed me. "There's the man I fell in love with," she murmured approvingly. And that kiss was almost worth letting go of my anger and fear and disappointed hopes for my son and for Bella.

Almost.

God, they had no idea of what they were facing, and there was nothing I could do to protect them from it.

_**Edward's POV**_

After a weird but okay hour downstairs with my parents, Bella and I went back up to my room. We were kissing on my bed, when my mom called out, "Edward! Your dad needs to pick up something at the hospital and I'm going to go with him so he can buy me some ice cream."

"Hey! I didn't say anything about ice cream," I could hear my dad protesting with a laugh. I hadn't heard him laugh in a while. It sounded surprisingly…normal. Good, even. Parents were fucking weird.

"You were just about to suggest it," Mom assured him.

I heard some grumbling but I knew my mom would get her ice cream. She was good like that. And she'd probably bring us some home too.

"Bella likes chocolate, chocolate explosion," I reminded her.

"Got it!" Mom yelled and then a few seconds later I heard the door slam.

I looked at Bella. "You know what this means?" I asked and my dick was already doing

the happy dance in my pants. We were alone. In my room. On my bed. And the drought was about to end. Amen and Hallelujah!

"I get ice cream?" Bella guessed.


	13. Chapter 13: The Promised Land

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 13: The Promised Land**

_**Edward's POV**_

Bella snuggled up close to me and rested her head on my chest. One of her hands was on my belly, and that was fairly close to the promised land. I kissed her hair and she wriggled closer. "You know," she whispered. "We _are_ completely alone…in your room…in your bed." I liked where this was going.

I heaved a sigh of relief because I was feeling pretty fucking guilty over the hard-on in my pants. Not that she could have missed it, it was pretty fucking obvious. Still, it was great to know that we were on the same wavelength. "We sure are," I agreed. Her hand slid down my belly. Lower…lower…oh fuck yeah!

Slipping beneath my jeans, her fingers curled around my dick. "Oh, Bella, your hand feels so fucking good," I managed to groan. If her hand felt this fucking awesome, I could only imagine how good her pussy would feel. I had a pretty good imagination. And an awesome fucking memory. My belly muscles tightened in anticipation.

"I've missed you," Bella whispered into my neck, going all fucking shy. It was adorable. It made me horny. Okay, a lot of shit made me horny.

Unable to help myself, I began thrusting up into her touch. Her hand tightened around me and gave a little twist – just like I liked it. I groaned again, not caring if I sounded like a pussy. I had one arm wrapped around her shoulder and I moved my hand to her boob. Carefully, I gave it a squeeze and Bella moaned. It sounded like it felt good, so I did it again. She arched into my hand and we turned toward each other at the same time. My lips found hers and then her tongue was sliding against mine and it felt fucking fantastic.

"Baby?" I knew I needed to make sure. My hand was now at the button of her jeans. She was giving me all of the right signals, but I'd learned the hard way that her moods weren't exactly stable right now. And I really didn't want a knee in the balls right now.

"Hmmm?" she was kissing up the side of my neck, one hand still wrapped around my dick and stroking, which I took as a pretty good sign of excellent things to come. Literally. I slipped the button free. So far, so good. Houston, we're ready for lift off.

"Are you sure?" I whispered, even as I was tugging up the hem of her shirt. I stared at her tits for a moment. They had gotten so big…so…I licked my lips. The nipples looked darker, a dusky rose that made my mouth water.

"Oh yeah, baby," she answered, biting down on my shoulder. I yelped in surprise and she giggled. "I want to feel you inside of me." She licked up my neck. "I want to feel you moving inside of me. I _need_ to feel you. Please?"

Shit. I loved it when Bella talked dirty. My dick went straight into titanium mode. Fuck. Then her hands were pushing my jeans down past my thighs, and since I had gone commando (I hadn't done laundry in a while) there was nothing between her and my dick. Which was fucking amazing. We pushed and pulled and tugged clothes off, kissing and licking and nibbling along the way. I let my hand trail down her still flat belly to the warmth that I had dreamed about. My fingers slipped between her folds. "Shit baby…you're so fucking wet," I groaned. And she was. I had to take a deep breath to keep from coming just at the feel of her on my fingers. She was ready. I was _more_ than ready.

I rolled and pinned her underneath me, then I remembered…

"Fuck, I'm not…I'm not squishing…anything am I?" I whispered, holding myself up a bit off of her – and Baby C. Okay, this was going to get weird as time went on.

Bella giggled and pulled me down again. "No, silly," she whispered against my ear and I shivered. She felt so warm and soft under me and my dick had slipped between her legs and I couldn't help thrusting. Fuck. Me. She always felt so good.

Her hand wrapped around me and she guided me to her slick, hot core. I sank into her with a groan and she trembled. "Fuck…" she hissed. "Oh yeah…that's…more…" Her legs wrapped around my waist. "Harder," she ordered.

I followed my orders. To the fucking letter.

_**Bella's POV**_

It was almost cute, how he started looking all guilty afterward. It wasn't like he'd forced me, and hell I'd been horny too. It had been…too long. I smiled and began tracing patterns on his well-muscled chest. "I love you," I told him. I felt him relax in my arms. Sometimes, he liked to over think things. And sometimes, I liked to help him put it all in perspective.

You do what you've gotta do.

_**Edward's POV**_

I took Bella home and I even walked her to the door, braving the wrath of the Dragon Lady that far at least. I saw the curtain twitch as I gave Bella a quick hug, a brief kiss (and even a sly little grope), but I pretended not to see it. It was probably Bella's mom and I had no desire to get into an argument with her. After I drove away, I wondered whether I should have gone in the house with her because I worried that Renee was going to give her shit about what went down at school. It was too late by the time I realized what an asshole I had been to just drop her off, however, so I didn't go back. That would probably only make things worse for Bella.

I should have been completely fucking relaxed. I had just had sex for the first time in way too long. And it had been great sex. Fucking fantastic sex. It always was, with Bella anyway. But here I was, all ramped up and itchy again. Not for sex, though I wouldn't have turned it down if Bella had offered, of course. I'm not an idiot. But I was just… I felt like I didn't fit in my skin anymore.

For some reason, I had thought that things would get less complicated once our families knew. But in truth, it had all gotten much _more_ complicated. We were all just sort of floating along and letting things fold out, letting things happen. It was like I had been set adrift and was just going where the tides took me. But I was starting to feel twitchy and restless. I wanted to _act_, not just _react_. I needed to actually _do_ something, something that might make our situation better. The only problem was that I had no fucking idea _what_ I should do.

To make matters worse, I could sense that my father was waiting for me to figure it out too. And at this point, I knew I wasn't even close. While tonight there might have been a small truce called, I knew that I had still fucked up and it was up to me to make it right. But what was right? What was best for Bella? For the baby? Because honestly, they had to be my first priority. I might not know much about being a father, but I knew that much – and it scared the hell out of me. Could I be that man?

I was probably just as shocked as my dad when I knocked on the library door. That was where he holed up on the nights he had work to do. I knew he was there because I saw the light on. "Come in," he called out and when I opened the door he was sitting at the desk I'd seen him at thousands of times. "Everything okay, Edward?"

And that was the million dollar question, wasn't it? Of course everything wasn't okay. I was eighteen years old and I was going to be a father. I hadn't even fucking graduated from high school yet and I was expected to be responsible for another helpless, innocent human life. It was all shades of fucked up.

"No," I said honestly. "Not really."

My dad's shoulders sagged. In relief? Disappointment? Surprise? I didn't know. His face wasn't giving anything away, but he didn't seem mad so I took that as a good sign.

"Sit," he said softly. I sat in the same chair I'd sat in the time I brought home a D on my report card in eighth grade. The time I'd punched a boy in the nose for picking on Rose when we were in elementary school. The time when I'd won the science fair and my dad wanted to tell me how proud he was. The place I'd sat when we celebrated my acceptance into my first choice college. This was the chair where all the important shit was discussed. And this was the most important shit of my life.

"I'm afraid I'm going to screw this up, Dad," I finally said.

"Good," Dad murmured.

"Excuse me?" Now I was getting pissed. He thought it was good that I was scared I was going to mess up not only my own life, but Bella's and the baby's as well?

"Just a minute, Edward," Dad said calmly. "What I meant is that I think it's good you're scared. It shows me that you're starting to realize just how much this has changed everything." He shook his head. "If you weren't scared, I'd _know_ you didn't have a clue."

What was it with Charlie and my dad thinking it was a good thing that I was fucking terrified?

"You've lost me," I admitted.

Dad sighed and leaned forward on his desk. "Edward, let's be honest. You've changed the path that your lives will take now." He smiled at me and it was probably the first genuine smile I'd seen in weeks. "I'm sorry if I've been a bit of an…ass." Hearing my dad curse was almost enough to make me laugh. "But the truth is…" He sighed and rubbed at his eyes and suddenly I realized just how tired he looked. "The truth is that you've got more limited options now. You've eliminated some of the choices you might have made and that makes me… Well, it makes me sad and angry and worried and I haven't been dealing well with it at all, and for that I apologize."

I muttered something along the lines of "No problem."

"But honestly Edward, you've got to get your shit together."

My head snapped up to look at him. "What?"

"You've got to get it together, Edward. Bella's counting on you. That baby is counting on you," Dad continued in a firm voice. "You've got to figure out how you're going to support a child. What about college? Not just for you, but for Bella. And what about the baby? Even if you can both swing college, and you know your mother and I will help as much as possible, where will you live and who will take care of the baby? You've got some decisions to make. Hard decisions that can't be put off forever. Right now I don't see you doing anything but coasting."

I opened my mouth to argue. But I couldn't. Because, fuck me, my dad was right. I had just been thinking the same thing on my way home. And my thoughts flickered to my dresser drawer, where I had tucked away what I had gotten in Port Angeles. Was that my first step? Was that the beginning of taking responsibility for my actions? It seemed a drastic step, but then again, becoming a father was pretty fucking drastic too.

"You're right," I finally said. "I need to step up my game." I stood up. I could feel my resolve firming up and I tamped down the fluttering of fear in my belly. I could do this. I _would_ do this. For Bella. For our baby. "And I think I know where to start," I told him.

My father's eyebrow raised and I could tell he was thinking, _"Does this boy know what the hell he's doing?"_

The answer to that was obviously no. But I was going to try, damn it. Hopefully I could figure it all out along the way. Before I knew it, I was going to be a father. I was pretty damned sure that I ought to try and be a _man_ when that happened.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked and I shook my head.

"Not yet, but…soon," I replied. I had to work all of it out in my mind. I had to consider all of the consequences, the consequences, and to finally figure out if this is what I really wanted. I couldn't undo it once it was done. "I just want to…" I sighed. "I just need to work some things out in my own head first."

"Fair enough," Dad said with a nod. "But I'm here if you need me, son."

"I know," I answered.

I realized at that moment that just because I'd closed off one path, that didn't mean that there wasn't another one open to us. It might be a more difficult path, but that didn't mean it would be unrewarding. We might stumble along the way, but as long as we were together, I was pretty sure we could do it.

Did I have the courage to take that first, radical step?


	14. Chapter 14: Out of the Frying Pan

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 14: Out of the Frying Pan**

_**Edward's POV**_

It was right there in my drawer, right where I'd left it. I had hidden it under my socks. I would have hidden it under my underwear but they were all in the dirty laundry. I shoved aside the socks and looked at it there in the drawer for a moment. I thought about what it represented and all of the baggage it would bring with it that I couldn't even begin to comprehend in this moment.

Everything about it was completely outside my sphere of reference. It was the unknown, the unknowable, the future. It was fear and excitement and obligation and responsibility to something much bigger than myself.

Was I ready? Was this right? Was it right for Bella? For our child? Was this the path I was destined to take?

I had _so_ many questions, but not many answers. As I stared at it, I decided that I'd have to go with my gut on this one. I closed my eyes and considered all of the alternatives, every other path I could conceive of, every single future that my brain could conjure up. When I thought about all the ways the next few years could go, I kept coming back to this one. I had plans; I had hopes and dreams. Bella did too. I wanted her to have them come true, even more than I wanted my own. And our kid; I wanted to hand our kid the world.

Ever since I was a little boy, I had thought about my dream job. Bella had laughed when I told her at first, then when I sat down and explained why I wanted what I wanted. Then she had kissed me and told me I was adorable and that of course, she would love to be married to an F.B.I. agent. She had giggled and called me Agent 007, which was cute as hell but inaccurate. She didn't care and only shook her head when I corrected her. Bella wasn't interested in facts at that point; as I remember she was more interested in getting my jeans off. That was a plan I could support.

Still, I had always known what I wanted. I wanted Bella. I wanted to be married to her, have kids with her. And I wanted a career that would mean something, and for me that meant going to Quantico and becoming an agent. I knew I'd never get rich, but I hoped that at the end of the day I could face the man in my mirror and be satisfied that I was making a difference in the world.

But the only way I'd get to do that was to get my degree…and some specialized training on the way. I had to have something that gave me the edge. The competition for slots was fierce; I knew that because I'd been investigating it since my sophomore year. Even though I was a fuck up, I was a fuck up with a plan.

Bella and the baby were now part of that plan. I wanted what I wanted, but I wanted to provide for Bella and our baby even more. I could do both. It would take time and sacrifice and courage, but it was possible.

With a deep breath, I picked it up out of my drawer.

And looked at it. For a long, long time.

_**Bella's POV**_

The next day Edward drove me to school. We were both really quiet on the way there. I wasn't talking mostly because I was worried about what we might encounter at school. Edward was quiet because… Well, that's what bothered me. I didn't know why Edward was quiet. Usually he's running his filthy mouth all the time, or using it to turn me into a pile of goo. Either way, this silent, thoughtful side of him was something rare.

I already knew that the gossip had flown through school, and Forks itself, like a wildfire. People had blown up my Facebook – and Edward's too. Quite a few girls were offering to comfort Edward in his "crisis." If it hadn't been so pathetic I might have gotten really pissed. Edward had just shrugged when I told him about it. He hadn't bothered to check, apparently. Most of the messages left for me were supportive, only a few were of the bitchy variety. When I considered the source it was easy to ignore them.

But today I'd be walking next to these people in the hallways, sitting next to them in classes, and feeling their eyes on me every second of the day. I absolutely loathed being the center of attention and this news pretty much guaranteed me the spotlight for months to come. It was like my own personal hell brought to Forks High School. And I though having to take gym for four years was bad. That thought made me smile. No more gym for me. There was some justice in the world, after all.

Then Edward pulled into the parking lot and I felt the butterflies take to the air inside my stomach. He reached over and squeezed my hand before sliding out of the car and racing around to open my door. He was in full-chivalry mode. He had knocked me up, so I guess it was nothing less than I had coming. But it was still nice to feel cherished and pampered. He held my hand as we entered the school and immediately I heard the hiss of whispers. Everyone turned to look as Edward walked me to my locker, apparently completely unaware of the scrutiny of half the student body. After I retrieved the books for my morning classes, he took them from me. Then my back pack, and my jacket, and then…

Oh wow.

He planted a kiss on me that had my panties drenched and my breath coming in hitches that sounded like I was having some sort of medical emergency. He laughed softly, well aware of his effect on me, the ass. I sort of stumbled along beside him, his arm anchoring me safely to his side. That's pretty much where I stayed all day since we had all but two classes together. Gym was one of them. And thank all the powers that be I would now be spending that period in the library. After a while, I didn't even hear the whispers anymore. I did notice, however, the sour looks that some of the girls were giving me. Edward's obvious and overt attentions to me, and me alone, seemed to be getting the point across.

Yes, we were in a bit of a spot. But we were there together. And there was no skanky bitch on earth that was going to come between us.

I'd do violence if I had to – and blame the fucking hormones.

_**Edward's POV**_

The day took forever to end. Of course, I heard the whispers start the moment Bella and I walked into the fucking school. It figured. They didn't have anything else to talk about, after all. So Bella and I, and Baby C of course, were the star attractions. Not that I cared. I had bigger worries on my mind than the gossip mills of Forks High School. They could all go fuck themselves as far as I was concerned. I had worried that Bella would freak out. Or barf. Or both. But she seemed to be handling it all like a trooper.

After school was over – finally – I drove her home. I know she expected me to come inside but I had something to do. She gave me that little pouty face that she knows twists me up into knots, but I was a man with a mission so for once I was able to resist. That made her pout more, and I almost gave in. But I just kept reminding myself that what I was going to do was for her too. And Baby C.

With that thought in mind, I drove to the police station. Forks wasn't big enough to have a big jail or station, but we did have a small police station that shared a building with the county clerk and some other municipal powers that be. There was also a tiny jail, just two cells, Briefly, I reconsidered the wisdom of putting myself in Charlie Swan's territory, especially where he'd have easy access to weapons, handcuffs, and a cell.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed the door open only to be greeted by shocked faces of the three deputies. The fourth guy was probably out on patrol. I could see that everyone in the office knew I had knocked up the chief's daughter. It doesn't take gossip long to travel through a town as small as Forks. One guy smirked at me and yelled out, "Hey Chief! The baby daddy is here!"

Very fucking funny.

Charlie appeared in the door of his office and very casually shot the deputy the bird, which shocked me way more than it probably should have. The secret lives of parents – a mystery I didn't really want to solve, thank you very much.

"Can I help you, Edward?" Okay, so he was going with ultra-polite. I could do that. I could work with that. It was better than pissed off and violent, anyway.

"Uh yeah," I mumbled, glancing around at our audience. "Can I talk to you…in private?"

Charlie's lips pressed together but he nodded his head and ushered me in, closing the door firmly behind him. He sat behind his desk and settled his cop stare on me. It was pretty fucking intimidating to be honest. He had had a lot of years to practice it and he was good at it. Bella just _had_ to be a cop's daughter…

"What's this about, Edward?" He managed to make my name sound like a dirty word – and not in a good way.

"Well sir," I said hesitantly. "Actually, I've come up with an idea. And I wanted to get your take on it…get some advice maybe. And…" I shrugged, feeling stupid all of a sudden.

Who the fuck was I kidding? I was scared shitless by my own fucking plan. Would he tell me I was an idiot? Or would he think slightly better of me for being a stand-up guy? _Was _I being a stand-up guy?

Charlie seemed to consider this for a moment, or maybe he was just trying to decide whether to beat me before or after he threw me in a cell. "All right, then." He nodded at me. "Shoot."

I opened my mouth and it all came out. I told him about my hopes for my own future, and for Bella's. My fears about being a good father, being good enough for Bella…and my plan to try and find a new path, to make a future that would be worthy of Bella – and our child. He listened patiently, never interrupting, though I could tell he had a million questions. Finally, I ran out of words and I shut up. He remained silent for a long moment and I shifted around in my seat.

"Are you sure about this, Edward?" he asked in a quiet voice that reminded me of my dad. "It's a…_huge _step."

Like I didn't fucking know that?

"Yes sir, you're right. It's huge." I could feel my leg jiggling and tried to stop it. Then the other one started jiggling and I gave up. I was a fucking nervous wreck and he might as well know it. "But this...this whole thing is big, sir. And I just feel that I have to do something big, something that means something, to try and start to put things right." I looked up at him and swallowed hard. He probably heard me. "I want to make sure I can give Bella the life she deserves. Hell, I want to have the future I've always dreamed of too, but most of all, I want Bella to have the future she should have had, the one she _would_ have had if I hadn't been such a fuck up." I shrugged. "I owe this to her, to our baby…even to myself."

"It's going to be harder than you think," Charlie pointed out.

"Yeah, I've already figured out that I have no fucking clue what I'm doing." He laughed shortly at that, shaking his head.

"Well, son, I'm not going to tell you that I think it's a great idea."

My heart sank.

"Then again, I'm not going to tell you that it's the worst idea I've ever heard either. Ultimately, it's your decision…yours and Bella's." His eyes pinned me to the chair. "What I _am_ going to tell you is that you'd better make damn sure of your decision. Because once it's made, you're committed."

I nodded and dug around in my jacket pocket. I handed it to him. "Look at this and tell me what you think."

_Author's Note: Edward's plans will be revealed in the next post. And then we'll all know exactly what Mr. Cullen has up his sleeve!_


	15. Chapter 15: Into the Fire

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 15: Into the Fire**

_**Edward's POV**_

The Chief looked at it for a long moment. "I think that you and Bella need to sit down and talk about what this will mean to you…_both_ of you. It will impact both of you – a _lot_, change your whole future." Which was kind of the point, wasn't it? I didn't say it, but I sure as hell _thought_ it! He gave me a measuring look. "Have you talked to your parents about this?"

"Uh…no," I admitted. Another conversation I wasn't looking forward to. My life seemed to be fucking full of them lately. "Not yet. I figure there'll be yelling and crying…and I'm sorta done with the drama if you know what I mean."

Charlie gave me a rueful grin and shook his head. "Well, then maybe you shouldn't have brought all of this on yourself," he pointed out with what was, as much as I hated to admit it, a fair bit of logic.

"Yeah, well," I shrugged. "That's a done deal. All I can do now is try to make things as right as I can for Bella – and the baby." I met his eyes. "I'm not running. I'm in this for the long haul. I want to do this right. I want to be the man that Bella deserves. I want to be a good father. The baby didn't get asked to have two teenagers for parents. Bella will be a great mom, I'm sure of that. And I want to be the kind of father a kid looks up to. I don't have a fucking clue how I'm actually going to do that, but this seems like a decent first step. I look at Bella and me as a forever thing, Chief. And I want to raise my child with her."

He picked it up from his desk. "Well, I'd say that this makes that pretty obvious. This isn't the action of someone who's thinking about running." And I could see it there in his eyes, that grudging respect. _That_ was what I wanted – what I _needed_. I'd move heaven and earth to earn it.

"Okay then," I said, getting to my feet. "I just wanted to run that by you and get your feedback, that sort of thing."

The Chief got to his feet and began pacing his small office. "Can I ask you why you've chosen this particular path, Edward?"

I looked up at him, stumped. How could I explain to him what I barely understood for myself? How could I explain that the moment this path had become apparent to me that I'd felt the inherent _rightness_ of it, no matter how little sense it made, or how foolish it might seem to others? I took a deep breath and decided to at least try.

"Well, sir…" I looked down and was not surprised to see that my hands were shaking…and my palms were sweaty. I rubbed them on my jeans and tried again. "In a matter of months, I'm going to be a father. I'd like to be a husband too, not just because of the baby. I've always planned on marrying Bella someday." He nodded and I took that as a good sign. "But besides being Bella's husband, I want to be a good father to our baby, like I told you. And that means providing for both of them, like a man. I realize it's too fucking soon, but…" I shrugged. "Well, that boat's sailed, obviously. So all I can do is try to make things right from this point on."

"This is a huge step, Edward," Charlie said. "In some ways, it's even bigger than marriage. A divorce is a simple matter nowadays." He held up the packet of papers. "This…" I understood what he was saying, of course.

I leaned forward and Charlie took a seat on his desk, less than two feet away from me. "The thing is, sir, that when I thought about this, I just – I just knew it was right for me. I want to provide my wife and child with a home to live in, the security of a steady paycheck. But I'll be honest, Chief, and tell you that part of this is selfish too. I've got plans for my life and while I would give all of them up if I had to for Bella and the baby, I think we can all get our happily-ever-after. It won't be easy, sir, I know that. But I think with time and trust and commitment, we can make a go of it…on our own, just like it's supposed to be."

Charlie studied me intently for a long moment. "You're wrong about one thing, son."

"What's that, sir?" Wrong about just_ one_ thing? I was doing better than I thought.

"You won't be alone," Charlie said. He stood up and pulled me to my feet and then actually fucking _hugged_ me – without even squeezing hard enough to make me wheeze. It was a real, genuine, bona fide hug – from Chief Charlie Swan, father of the teenage girl I had knocked up. It was like a Christmas miracle or something. I'll bet somewhere a bell was ringing and an angel was getting his wings. Cue the emotional music. "I hate that you two are faced with this, but I have to say Edward, you're manning up way better than I'd expected."

I wasn't sure whether to be insulted or complimented, so I went with complimented because it was easier. "Thank you, sir."

Charlie clapped me on the back. "Now I think you'd better go talk to my daughter and run all of this by her." He chuckled. "She'll have some opinions of her own."

I swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes sir, I'll bet she will." Charlie laughed again, which did nothing for my fucking nerves.

I opened the door and walked through the suddenly silent office. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I passed by. I wished I had the balls to flip them the bird like the Chief had done. But I wasn't there yet. I guessed it was better that way. They were probably searching for bruises. I shoved my hands in my pockets and didn't look up. My mind was already out of the police station and with Bella and the conversation I was about to have with her.

She was going to flip her shit.

_**Bella's POV**_

I opened the front door to find Edward standing there. "Hey!" I grinned at him before pulling him into my arms. "I didn't think I'd see you this early."

"Yeah," he mumbled, looking down at the floor. "I…uh…I had something to do."

I frowned as I studied him. Edward was a very smooth liar, much to his mother's chagrin. But he couldn't lie about really _big_ things, only the small ones, the trivial and unimportant. I knew two things: he was lying to me now, and it was about something important. I felt my heart start to flutter and my palms began to sweat. Was this it? Was this the moment when he would finally realize that he had too much going for him and he didn't need to be saddled with a girlfriend who was nothing special and a _baby_? He was only eighteen and as much as I hated to admit it, there would be a lot of people who wouldn't be surprised if he ran and ran far. My breaths started coming faster and the room started to spin a bit. _This was bad; this was very, very bad_.

"Bella?" I heard Edward's voice but it seemed like it came from far away. Then he put his arm around my shoulder and was leading me toward the couch. Shit. He wanted me to be sitting when he broke up with me. That had to be it. The look on his face was so contained, so controlled… It _scared_ me. Who was I kidding? I had been expecting this moment for months now. I didn't need the venomous whispers from Lauren and her friends to know that I wasn't worthy of Edward Cullen. I'd trapped him, in ignorance of course, but still, the fact remained. I had ruined his life. I took a deep breath. I loved him. So I wouldn't try to make him stay out of some misguided sense of loyalty. I'd set him free and keep my tears hidden. He'd want to be a part of the baby's life, of that I was sure. I wouldn't be losing him, not completely anyway. The ache in my heart grew and bloomed.

"Bella," Edward whispered into my ear. "Calm down. What's wrong?"

I gulped, trying to feel my lungs with air. They wouldn't cooperate, just kept working overtime while my head spun and spots danced before my eyes. I grabbed his hands and noticed they felt cool, though his palms were as damp as mine were. "Edward, I love you. You know that. I'd never make you do something you didn't want to do. I love you too much to make you settle down. We're both too young for this!" I felt my breathing begin to slow just a bit. "So please…if you're going to break up with me, just do it already. I understand. You didn't ask for any of this and-"

Edward looked at me like I was insane and then laughed, loudly. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hug him or hit him. Tears began rolling down his face and he jumped to his feet, dragging his hands through his hair. "What is it with you Swans? That's twice today I've been insulted!" He looked at me and snorted, his expression still amused, but something else lingered in his eyes. Hurt, maybe? "What will it fucking _take_ to make everyone realize that I'm not going _anywhere_?"

Then he was on his knees in front of me while I sat on the couch. "Isabella Marie Swan…" He took my hands in his and placed tender kisses on my knuckles. "If you weren't pregnant with my child I swear I'd put you over my knee and spank you."

I gaped at him.

"But since you _are_ pregnant," he gave a wicked little smirk and brushed back my hair. "I guess I have to come up with a new plan."

I just stared at him.

"And I have."

"You have what?" I felt lost.

"I've come up with a plan." He smiled at me, cupping my jaw with one hand while the other linked with my fingers.

"A plan?" Okay, now I just sounded stupid.

"Yes," Edward nodded. "A plan. And I wanted to discuss it with you."

"Discuss it with me?"

"What are you, a parrot?" he teased.

"I'm pregnant," I reminded him. "I'm losing brain cells every day. It's called placenta brain and it's no laughing matter. There should be a telethon for it or something."

He laughed again and kissed me. "There's the Bella I love," he whispered approvingly. "So…do you want to hear my plan?"

I nodded. I was still reeling over the fact that he had said he loved me. Maybe this wasn't the big, awkward break up scene? Maybe I had, just this _once_, let my pregnancy hormones get the best of me?

"Okay, here goes," Edward said and then he took a deep breath like he was nervous. "I've already talked to your father, so before I go any further I wanted to put that out there."

He had talked to Charlie? Shit. I nodded.

"And he says it's not the worst plan he's ever heard," Edward remarked dryly. That did sound like my father. I nodded again.

"The first part of the plan involves us getting married," Edward said in a low voice. "Whenever you're ready, before or after the baby is born. I know I should have come up with a nice, romantic way of asking you, but the truth is I'm too fucking nervous to do that. So, I have to settle for just telling you that I want to marry you more than anything else I've ever wanted. But I would like to make one little request on that issue." He looked at me and I smiled uncertainly, nodding for him to continue. "Well, I'd like to be married before your birthday."

That didn't make any sense, but I had no objections. I had always known that it was Edward, would always _be_ Edward. "Okay," I agreed and he grinned.

Then he grimaced. Uh oh.

"And now we come to the second part of the plan," he murmured, looking up at me from beneath his long, panty-dropping lashes. Oh, he was pulling out the big guns now. "Bella, I know you, and I know one of the things that's bothered you the most is that you feel _I'm_ giving up the future I'd envisioned for myself. That's silly, of course, since we're in this together, but I'm beginning to understand how your bizarre mind works." He licked his lips. Standard Cullen Seduction Move #2. "And one of the things that's worried me the most is knowing that, with no training or higher education, I wouldn't be able to provide for you and the baby like I wanted." One hand gently caressed my belly. "Yeah, I mean, I know our parents could and would help, but that just doesn't feel right to me, you know?"

I cradled his beautiful face in my hands. "We'll make it," I promised.

"I know," he replied, sounding quite certain and assured. He sounded shockingly grown up. It was sort of hot. "But those two different worries bring me to my plan." He moved to sit beside me, taking both of my hands in his. "I've found a way to alleviate both of our biggest concerns. I'd get training and experience that would really help me achieve my ultimate goal of being an FBI agent and, at the same time, I'd be able to give you and the baby security." He kissed my temple. "And college would be a definite option…for either of us. Hell, for _both_ of us."

Edward sounded excited, almost giddy. And I felt…nervous. Nauseous too, but that was pretty much a constant state for me.

"And just what is this miracle?" I heaved a sigh. "Are you going to be a drug lord or something? Because I'll be honest, I don't really want to bring our baby to visit you in prison. Pro football?' I shook my head. "You were good, Edward, but not that good. Or maybe a big, Hollywood star? The latest teen sensation that makes all the girls swoon and cream their panties?" The word vomit had kicked in, and it was almost as bad as the blush that plagued me.

He smirked. "First, I'm too pretty to go to prison, so drug lord is out. Second, I didn't like football enough to want to do it as a career. Not an option. Third, the only teenage girl I want to make swoon and cream her panties is_ you_."

Where was he going with this?

His expression changed and he swallowed. "Okay, just hear me out before you get upset. All right?"

That didn't exactly make me confident. "Okay." I could give him that much.

"Well," Edward said, taking a huge breath. "I've already talked to someone and I've got it all worked out." He looked at me. "I want to join the Army."

What. The. Fuck?

_**Author's Notes: I can just imagine how many of you are echoing Bella's words. Yeah, Private Cullen reporting for duty. Okay, for those who might think that joining the Army is not a **__**logical **__**response in reaction to teen parenthood, you might be right. However, it's done. I know. My son did it. One of the guys he met in Basic Training did the same thing.. There are lots of reasons to join the military. My brother-in-law joined on a dare from his best friend (I laughed when I saw The Messenger with Woody Harrelson) and he and his friend served four years together. One of my nephews joined because he couldn't make the payments on his Mustang. He joined three months before 9/11 and he called that day the biggest "Surprise, surprise motherfucka!" moment of his life. Live and learn. My daughter's boyfriend joined the Army because his dad had groomed him to join the Navy his whole life. Sort of like the doctor's son who becomes a lawyer, except in uniform. So while the idea may seem far-fetched, reasons just like this are more common than you might realize. There are a lot of reasons to join the military, all of them as unique as the individuals who serve.**_


	16. Chapter 16: Impulse and Initiative

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 16: Impulse and Initiative**

_**Edward's POV**_

Bella was staring at me like I had started speaking in another fucking language, and not in a hot "I'm gonna seduce you with some Italian words" kinda way. She was looking at me like "What the fuck is this idiot talking about?" kinda way. Shit. This was not good.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Her voice was strained, that real careful voice people use around a kid having a temper tantrum or someone that they think just might be mentally unstable.

"No" I replied, just as carefully. I had come to respect the power of pregnancy hormones. They were, as Bella had informed me, a wicked bitch. You do _not_ mess with the pregnancy hormones. And I'd dropped a hell of a bomb on her, a fact of which I was not completely ignorant. "It's no joke, Bella." I moved to the end of the couch and took her with me. I needed to connect with her; I needed to explain my reasons for doing something that probably seemed completely insane and unnecessary in her eyes. Besides, at this angle it would be harder for her to punch me in the junk.

Because Bella was Bella, I knew I had to focus on why it was the right decision for _me_. She wouldn't give a shit if she thought I was doing it _only _for her. Even if that was true, and it wasn't, it wouldn't matter. She was my life now, and I wanted to do right by her. If I was going to be a man, I needed to _be a man_. My options were limited at this point, if I wanted to do this on my own, but I finally felt like I'd figured out a way to do what I wanted to do while at the same time doing what I needed to do. It was a win/win as far as I was concerned. One look at Bella's face told me I'd have some convincing to do.

"But…_why_?" Her voice was small and subdued and I kissed the top of her head while I tried to put my thoughts into words that would hopefully make sense.

"I'm going to try and explain this as best I can, Bella," I told her. "But I'm not really sure I'll be able to do a good job of it, so just be patient and let me ramble if I have to, okay?"

She nodded and buried her nose in my chest. She was fucking sniffing me again. I admit, I kind of liked it. What I liked even more was that it seemed to soothe her.

"All right," I began. "The first reason is that I've been going around and around trying to figure out how we can have our baby and yet not completely give up our future plans." I hugged her tight. "Remember how you've always talked about being an elementary school teacher and I've wanted to be an FBI agent for…like fucking ever?"

She giggled, but it was a watery, forced sound. Her hand stroked my chest and it felt really good. At least she wasn't punching anything, I mused.

"Well…" I tilted up her chin so I could look into her eyes. "It's tough to get into the Academy, damned tough. Just having a college degree doesn't matter, because that's required. There are a few things I can do to better my chances…learn some languages, have special skills that most of the other candidates don't have…and military experience can be important – as long as I make the most of it."

Bella blinked at me. "But the _Army_?"

I smiled and brushed back her hair. "Well, to be honest, that was the first recruiting office I passed, but I've done some research since then and I've come to the conclusion that the Army is the best match for what I want."

"Edward, I'm not sure if you know this, but there's a fucking _war_ going on right now!" Her cheeks flushed with anger and I really wanted to kiss her…and maybe grope her, but I knew that wouldn't be a smart move so I restrained myself. Barely. My balls were fine just where they were.

"Yes, baby, I know." I smiled. Uh oh. Not the right move. She scowled at me.

"So what…you're bullet proof now? Got some secret super powers I don't know about? You been flying around with a cape when I'm not around? Maybe you're a vampire who is gonna live forever?" She threw her hair back over her shoulder and I knew she was truly pissed. "I mean, I need to know stuff like that, so when the baby comes out all weird I'll know why!"

"No, Bella," I said firmly, trying to regain control of the conversation. "Just let me explain. Okay?"

"Okay, you explain to me why the father of my baby has decided to put himself in the middle of a fucking _warzone_!"

I surged to my feet and ran my hands through my hair. I had known she would take it like this. I had known and thought I was prepared – only to find out that I was prepared for shit. I began pacing, unable to fight the restlessness that made my skin tight and my heart pound. "Bella, I want to do what's right. I want to do what any father and husband would do and that's provide for my fucking family! Can't you understand that?"

"But your parents could help-"

"Fuck that!" I yelled and then I took a deep breath when I saw the look that flashed across her face. I needed to rein in it, get control. "Bella, having my father pay for everything isn't a solution. It's a cop-out, and if I'm going to be a father I need to actually be a fucking father! You know the kind that brings home a paycheck and does whatever he has to do for his kid because that's what a father's _supposed_ to do? The kind that actually gives a fuck?"

Bella took a deep breath too, obviously calming herself. I could see her hands shaking. "There are other jobs, you know."

I shook my head. "None that will give us over $70,000 in college money, or full health benefits – for all of us. We'll also get free housing on base. I've looked into it. They're like apartments. It will depend on where I get stationed. It won't be anything fancy, but it'll be _ours_. And you and the baby can go with me, we'll be together. I can get college credit while I'm still in the Army and the government will pay for it. They'll even give me 12 hours of college credit for Basic Training! Then there'll be the money at the end of the enlistment. You can use it, too."

I could see her trying to process everything I'd said. I knelt in front of her once more. "Bella, I _need_ to do this. I need to be the father and husband that you and our baby deserve. I can't do that if someone else is supporting us…" I sighed. "I know everyone thinks I'm a fuck up. And I want to prove once and for all that I'm not." I only hoped that she would understand. "And add to that the Army has an opening in a job that I think I'll like."

"And what is that?" Bella asked. There was just curiosity in her voice, no judgment. At least she was willing to hear me out.

"Well, I'm going to be an MP – military police," I replied, kissing at her knuckles. She liked that, and I was trying to soften her up. "It will give me some good experience that I can use to better my chances of getting into the Bureau. They'll teach me shit I need to know."

She looked thoughtful for a long moment. "You really think that going into the Army will help you?" Bella appeared doubtful.

Once more, I sat beside her. "I talked a lot to my recruiter, Sgt. Mann," I told Bella. "We looked at my test scores, which were pretty fucking good, by the way," I felt compelled to add. Bella giggled and it was the best fucking sound in the world. I hugged her close. "He told me that I was pretty much good to go on any of the jobs the Army had, and out of those that would be helpful when it came to the Bureau, I liked MP the best."

"Why?"

I paused while I considered my answer, not because I was being cautious but because it was difficult to put into words. "Well, I guess because it's the closest thing to law enforcement. I could have chosen Military Intelligence, but it just doesn't seem like a good fit." I shrugged. "I don't know. When we went over the job description and the training, it just seemed like what I'd like the most."

Bella snuggled up close to me. "So…you really _want_ to do this?"

"More than I expected," I admitted. "It just felt right. I can't explain it, but the moment I walked into that recruiter's office, I just _knew_ somehow."

She remained silent for a while and I was starting to wonder if she had fallen asleep. Then she mumbled into my chest, "Are you afraid? Of…you know…going over there?"

"Well…yeah," I confessed. "I mean, I'd be an idiot not to be worried."

"But?"

I laughed and kissed the top of her head. "You know me so well."

"Talk to me, baby," she whispered. "I want to support you, but to do that I've got to understand."

"Fair enough," I agreed. "I guess I've just always felt that if it's my time, it's my time. And it would happen whether I was in my room or in a warzone. I'll be careful sure, but I'm not going to think about it constantly."

She absorbed that for a moment. "Isn't that rather naïve?"

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe it's faith. And maybe faith is naïve. But it's how I feel."

Bella leaned up so that our eyes could meet and she searched mine for what seemed like a long, long time. "You're serious about this, aren't you?"

I nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, baby, I am."

"And you honestly think this is best for all of us?"

I shrugged. "I _think_ so, but I'm just going on my gut here. There are a lot of practical reasons this could be good for us, but when it comes down to it, I'm just going on instinct." I smirked. "Of course I could be a fucking idiot."

"You could," she agreed dryly. Then her expression grew somber. "What about when you get sent away? And don't try and tell me you won't, because we both know you'd be lying."

"I wouldn't lie to you about this, baby," I told her. "We're in this together, and that means honesty, even when it fucking sucks."

"So?"

"So…" I took a deep breath. "That's the hardest part," I admitted. "But we'll get through that too. You can either stay and live on base while I'm deployed or come back home and stay with our folks. Whatever you feel comfortable with. According to Sgt. Mann, a lot of spouses go home so they can have family support while their soldier is gone. But we'll make it work no matter what. About halfway through my deployment, I'll get some R&R, and I'll be back for a few weeks. They'll fly me to my base or home to Washington…wherever you are." I paused. "Look, I'm not planning on doing this forever. But after my enlistment's over, I think I'll be in a good position to do what I want to do. And so will you."

She leaned in and kissed me softly…tenderly. I put my hand low on her belly, right over where I thought Baby C would be growing. The thought of a little girl with Bella's big brown eyes or a little boy with her wavy dark hair and shy grin made me smile. This wasn't just for me or for Bella; this was for our baby too. Hopefully, this kid would never have to suffer for our mistakes, and never go without simply because we had done this all out of order and too fucking young. We'd make this right for all of us, but most of all for Baby C.

"Okay," she said softly. "Okay." Her smile was sad, but it was still there. She was trying, and that's all I could ask. "I'm still not sure about this, but I trust_ you_. And if this is what you want, then I want it too…for you."

"For us," I whispered, my lips hovering over hers.

"For us," she murmured.

_Author's Note: This is an HEA tale. Not to say that there won't be some angst (They're teenage parents after all!), but I'm not going to play coy and make you worry about killing off Edward. He's too pretty. Besides, I like to torture him too much. Death is too easy. :p_


	17. Chapter 17: Mann Up

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 17: Mann Up**

_**Bella's POV**_

Edward finally left just before my mom was due home from work. I'd convinced him that A) I didn't need to referee an encounter between the two of them, and B) I just needed some time to process this new information.

To say it had taken me by surprise was the understatement of the century. I mean, Edward…in the _Army_? Sadly, I thought of his beautifully messy hair and how it would all be shaved off. I was guessing that they didn't have any sort of exemption from that policy. So one day soon, I'd have to run my fingers through it one last time. Just the thought was depressing.

We had talked for another hour or so, clearing up some questions I had. I only had a million of them. First, when would he be leaving? My biggest fear would be that he wouldn't be there with me when the baby was born. Fortunately, the first opening they had in the MP program was in September. Besides, we still had to graduate. Once Edward actually signed the papers (and he hadn't wanted to do that without actually talking to me, a fact which saved his balls) he'd have a slot in the class, or whatever the Army called it, in late September. Thus, his wish for us to be married before my birthday.

His training would last 19 weeks, not counting the two weeks he'd be home for Christmas. That trip home was good. What was bad is that he'd be going to a "little armpit of Missouri" for his training, Ft. Leonard Wood. Apparently they only trained MPs in one place and that was it. His recruiter had already warned him that the weather was horrific and there was absolutely nothing around Ft. Leonard Wood. Not that it would matter to Edward because he probably wouldn't leave base until he flew home for Christmas, and then he'd be flying back to St. Louis and bussed right back and stay there until he graduated in February. The Army didn't allow for a lot of down time, figuring that soldiers would probably just get into trouble if left to their own devices.

Frankly, nothing about it sounded appealing to me but Edward seemed all psyched up. I wondered if it was a guy thing, the testosterone talking, or just insanity.

We decided that tomorrow we'd tell his parents together about The Plan. It was weird to think that we had a new PLAN. For so long, we had planned out our futures in one way and suddenly, because of one crazy afternoon up against a wall, there was a new plan. We were really going to do this. Have a baby, be a family, be _grown-ups_!

Suddenly, it was all too much. I wasn't ready. I was not prepared to handle being a mother. I barely knew how to be Bella, much less a wife and mother.

Fuck.

I ran to the bathroom and took a shower so that even if my parents came home early, no one could hear me cry.

/RFL\\

Surprisingly, I felt much better after having a pity party in the shower. I guess the pregnancy hormones and I just needed to vent a little bit. I was a little hungry so I had some chips with Tabasco sauce and dipped them in bit of cottage cheese, which was really weird because I hated the stuff. It's Renee that eats it, always trying to lose weight though she looked just fine to me. Whatever. I had resigned myself to becoming a cow. I might as well embrace the bulk.

My dad gave me a big hug when he came home, smiling as he told me that he'd seen Edward earlier. "He's gonna be a hell of a man, Bells," he whispered. That was big, incredibly big, coming from Charlie. I wasn't going to argue with him because I happened to agree.

"Yeah," I murmured back. "Yeah he is."

By some unspoken agreement, we had decided not to tell my mother about Edward's big plan. Renee would freak. Time enough for that little shit fit later. I wasn't up to it. I fell asleep fast, which was no surprise. It seemed that lately I would fall asleep if I just stopped moving. Growing a baby was really hard work.

/RFL\\

Edward drove me straight to his house the next day. We decided to just hang out until his dad got home and Edward could make his big announcement. We seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. Frankly, I was pretty tired of it. I was done with the drama and excitement. I craved boring and tedious, but I didn't think there was much of that on the horizon in the immediate future.

We discussed tomorrow, which would be my first doctor's appointment. To Edward's amusement, my mother's confusion, and Carlisle's gentle understanding, I had put my foot down and declared that I wouldn't have a male doctor delivering my baby. A pap smear so I could get birth control (ha!), fine. Hands up my crotch for several hours while I pushed out a watermelon and screamed obscenities? No thank you. The closest female doctor was in Port Angels, and she hadn't had an opening for a month. I dug in my heels, vowing I'd see a local doctor if anything seemed wrong, and besides I had Carlisle if I just needed medical type advice. Besides barfing every five minutes and a bad case of narcolepsy, things seemed to be proceeding normally.

I was nervous about tomorrow though. Would this doctor look down on us because we were too young to be having a baby? Would she embarrass me? And what would I do if she did? Choose another doctor? She was the only female doctor within driving distance.

"Hey," Edward said, drawing me from my worries. I smiled and kissed his chin. We were snuggled on his bed, watching a movie. "What's the matter?"

"I was just thinking about the appointment tomorrow," I admitted.

"Oh."

"I'm a little nervous," I continued. "What if she's mean to me because I'm only eighteen?"

"Then she's not the doctor for you," Edward replied immediately. "And I'll make sure she's not mean to you," he assured me.

"Okay," I said and then I yawned. Edward chuckled. "Take a nap; this movie sucks anyway."

I mumbled a reply and fell asleep.

/RFL\\

Dinner was a quiet affair and the tension I felt humming through Edward's body reminded me of the night we'd told everyone I was pregnant. Finally, it was over and Edward helped his mom clear the table while Carlisle sipped at a glass of wine. Rosalie kept darting looks between Edward and me, obviously sensing that something was up. That girl had a drama sensor. Once we were all seated again, Edward gave me a questioning look. I just sort of shrugged. This was his show, not mine. I was still trying to absorb it all myself.

"Uh, Mom…Dad," Edward said. "I, uh…I've made a decision about our futures…my career, a job, college, all of that."

"Sounds like you've been busy," Carlisle said with approval. Edward had been right. His father had been waiting for Edward to do something. But I was pretty sure that enlisting in the Army hadn't even been a scenario to consider. Surprise, surprise!

"Yeah, well," Edward shrugged.

"And what is this plan?" Esme asked, eyeing me curiously. I couldn't look at her. Her _mom_ radar was going beep-beep-beep.

"Well," Edward began, squaring his shoulders. "I've given this a lot of thought, done a lot of research." He reached out and took my hand. "I've considered what I want to do with my life, what Bella wants to do. I've thought about providing for our baby and giving it the kind of life every kid deserves." He swallowed hard. "I thought about being a father and what that really means."

Carlisle nodded, obviously pleased at how seriously Edward was taking all of this. "You've always made us proud son," he said quietly. "And you continue to do so."

Edward shot me a look that said, "_What the fuck?" _Rosalie just rolled her eyes, obviously anxious to know what new chaos we were bringing to everyone's lives. First a baby. What could we_ possibly_ do for a follow-up act? Oh just you wait, Rose…

I wanted to laugh. I didn't. "So…anyway," Edward continued. "Before I tell you what I've got planned, I wanted you to know that I've really thought about this. Bella and I have talked about, thought about what it means for both of us…and the baby too. It feels right to me and I hope you'll support my decision."

Esme began to look nervous. I knew the feeling.

"Well?" Carlisle prompted.

"I've decided…" Edward took a deep breath and squeezed my hand. "I've decided to join the Army. I'll get college money; we'll have free housing and medical care. Bella and the baby can move with me once I've got my final duty station. I'll even get paid more since I'll have a family." He looked at his father. "I want to be the father and…husband they deserve."

Way to drop another bomb there, Cullen. Of course, looking at their expressions I think they hadn't heard much after the word "Army." I could relate. Carlisle was just sitting there with his eyes narrowed and his long fingers tapping at the edge of his wine glass. Rosalie was gaping, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. It wasn't often that I'd seen her speechless. I kind of liked it. Then there was Esme…

"No," Esme said quietly. It sounded like a slap in the silence.

"What?" Edward asked. I looked between Edward and his mother like I was watching the world's best tennis match. Rosalie and Carlisle were watching too. I think we were all afraid to move and draw their attention - sort of like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park. _Objects in mirror are closer than they appear…_

"I. Said. No." There was no mistaking the steel in her voice. "I won't allow it."

"Mom-" Edward started to protest.

"Esme," Carlisle cut in with infinite patience – and courage. I couldn't follow all three of them so I focused on Edward. "We wanted Edward to grow up, and we can't simply veto his first adult decision simply because we don't like it."

"Not his_ first_ adult decision," Esme said with a significant look.

_Oops, Baby C, I think they're talking about us. Don't worry everyone loves you. They're just not quite sure they like your parents right now_.

"You can't stop me," Edward reminded her hotly. "I'm of legal age and I can sign any contract I choose."

Esme narrowed her eyes at me. Uh oh, the Mom Look. And it was a doozy. Not just the guilt, but also a hint of anger and…yeah, fear. I knew exactly how she felt. I already felt a little nauseous. The thought of Edward being fired at by guns, or even worse, being near one of those horrible explosions! What if he – No, I had to stop right there. I couldn't bear it otherwise.

"If you think I'm going to let my son go get himself blown up in a war I don't even agree with-"

"Now, let's just all calm down," Carlisle soothed.

"I'm an adult and I'll do what I want," Edward pressed, sounding very much like a stubborn little boy. I could practically see him digging in his heels and sticking out his lower lip while adjusting his balls. God save me from the testosterone rush. "Even if means joining the fucking Army." He scowled at his mother.

Esme humphed and crossed her arms over her chest. _None shall pass_… She could have taught King Leonidas a thing or two about taking a stand. "We'll see about that," she muttered.

Just as the tension in the room was about to reach critical mass, the doorbell rang and Edward looked relieved. Interesting. I had no idea we were expecting company. I hoped they liked tennis. He ran to the door and came back just a few moments later with a giant in tow. Okay, maybe not a giant. But his height explained the few seconds it took me to actually look at his face.

I might have let my mouth drop open. I'm not sure. The guy looked like a fucking poster boy for the Army. Tall, at least two or three inches taller than Edward, he had muscles that would have made Emmett green with envy. Rosalie's mouth dropped open and she openly gaped. If this was how they grew them in the Army, I was surprised that there wasn't a line of women outside every recruiting office. _Sign me up_…

The man was seriously wearing that Army uniform and for the first time I actually pictured Edward wearing those…whatever they were. The image was strangely and unexpectedly… Wow. He'd be rocking that uniform too. I just knew it.

"This is Sgt. Mann, my recruiter," Edward explained. "He volunteered to stop by in case you had any questions or concerns."

Esme had recovered her composure faster than Rosalie. Or me. Edward smirked at me, probably well aware of my reaction to Sgt. Stud, I mean, Sgt. Mann. Man…man bits…focus, Bella!

"Ma'am," Sgt. Mann said with a short polite nod at Esme, who looked at him like something she might have scraped off the bottom of her shoe. He didn't seem to notice. "Sir," he added with a nod at Carlisle, who responded politely.

I got my shit together and tried to focus on what the good sergeant was saying. But then I got distracted by his full, oddly girly lips. There was something reassuring in this behemoth's size and calm composure and the fact that he was dead sexy didn't hurt. At least he got our attention. Edward cleared his throat and quirked one brow at me. I looked at him, this man, the father of my baby, the man about the join the fucking Army so he can give me and his kid a future. This man was willing to risk his _life_ for us.

Suddenly, I didn't really care how pretty or how big Sgt. Mann was. I only wanted him to tell me that Edward would be okay. I moved toward Edward and took his hand in mine. Vaguely I was aware of Sgt. Mann talking to Carlisle, answering general questions about the Army. "Are you sure, baby?" I whispered. I needed to know that Edward wanted this for himself, not just to give the baby and I place to live. I'd live anywhere, as long as we were a family.

He smiled and brushed my cheek with his knuckles. "The only thing I'm more certain about is _you_…and our baby."

The devil could take Sgt. Mann and his big blue eyes and buzzed black hair, flawless jaw and shoulders the size of a small car. I already had the most handsome man in the world at my side, and for some inexplicable reason he wanted _me_. For real. For always.

I got it. I _finally_ got it.

Edward was _mine_.

And he wasn't going to abandon me – us. _Ever_.


	18. Chapter 18: Facts and Fallacies

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 18: Facts and Fallacies**

_**Edward's POV**_

"What makes you think I would possibly be okay with this?" Mom snapped, looking at me.

Sgt. Mann stood off to the side, his hands behind his back looking suitably military and stoic. His expression didn't change.

"Mom," I began. "I've made myself an adult through my own actions, and now it's time I started acting the part."

Dad absorbed this for a moment and then turned his attention toward Sgt. Mann. "Won't you sit down?" he offered in a real effort to make things polite again. I shot him a grateful look.

Sgt. Mann nodded and took a seat, though he remained perched on the edge of the couch. Perhaps he was preparing for a quick getaway. I guess that Army training came in handy. "Ma'am?" he directed his quiet voice toward my mother, who turned to him stiffly.

"Yes?" She couldn't have made her anger any more clear if she'd stomped her feet and I rolled my eyes at Bella.

"Let's say Edward here told you he wanted to get a job working construction this summer?" He pointed at me. "You know, to save up for their baby."

"All right," Mom said cautiously. "What's your point?"

"Would you have an objection?" Sgt. Mann asked politely.

"No," Mom answered after a moment. "I suppose not."

"All right then," he continued. "What if he signed up for a season on a fishing boat?"

"I suppose that would be…okay…"

Sgt. Mann nodded again. "And if he wanted to be…oh…I don't know…an off shore rigger, or a toll booth operator?"

"What are you getting at, Sgt. Mann?" Mom asked, obviously losing her patience.

"Might I ask you what your primary objection is to the military life for your son?"

Mom's mouth opened and closed. And again. Then she took a deep breath, her eyes on me. "I'm afraid he'll die." Well, she couldn't get much blunter than that, I mused.

Sgt. Mann nodded again. "Then what would you say if I told you that any of those jobs I just listed are _almost_ as dangerous as being a soldier in the battlefield, and definitely _more_ dangerous than the job of a soldier not in the combat zone?"

Both of my parents stared at him, struck dumb. "Is that true?" my father asked suspiciously.

"Look it up," Sgt. Mann offered. "In the latest statistics available, construction workers have the highest on-the-job death rate." He shrugged. "The exact job varies from year to year, but construction workers, fishermen, loggers, and cops –even toll booth operators - all take their turns vying for the top spot."

I could see my mom relaxing a little. But just a little.

"But the truth is that any job can be dangerous…" Sgt. Mann said quietly. "At least a soldier knows there's danger, and they know they shouldn't get complacent. Your son will be trained and trained well to face the dangers over there. He won't be alone; he'll be surrounded by a group of men with whom he'll probably forge lifelong friendships. You'll send a boy to Basic Training, and if his unit is called to deploy, he'll be a man. He'll be a soldier and capable of handling anything thrown at him. I can promise you that."

"So you're saying my son might not get deployed?" Dad asked.

Sgt. Mann shook his head. This was one point on which he had been absolutely clear, even when his eager and brand new colleague had tried to dance around my question. "No sir, I'd say the odds of your boy getting deployed – and soon – are very good." There, just to prove that blunt worked both ways.

That took my mom by surprise. I wasn't sure whether it was hearing that I'd get deployed or that he'd be honest about it. Maybe both.

"So why would Edward choose the military? He's a bright boy. He's got a whole future ahead of him," Mom finally said.

Sgt. Mann nodded. "Your son is very bright. His ASVAB scores proved that."

"Assfab?" Rosalie interjected with a smirk.

Bella leaned in and whispered, "I've always thought your ass was fab, baby." I tried not to laugh. Instead, it came out as a choked cough. Luckily, my parents were distracted by their interrogation of Sgt. Mann. Have I mentioned that I love this girl?

"What's the ASVAB?" my father asked.

"It's the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery," Sgt. Mann answered. "It's administered to a lot of high schoolers, including your son. His scores were already on record and when he came in to talk to us, I just accessed them and we went from there."

"What do you mean?" Mom asked.

"Well, ma'am, that score determines what jobs a recruit is eligible for when it comes to the Armed Forces. The higher the score, the more jobs that are open to them. Your son's score was very high, and his scores in various elements of the test pretty much assured him of any MOS he wanted."

"MOS?" This was from Rosalie, who was busy pretty much eye-fucking Sgt. Mann. I rolled my eyes at her and wondered how long it would take her to check out the recruiting offices in Pt. Angeles. She'd probably go in there and say she was considering joining the military (what a laugh) and just needed to "talk." Sgt. Mann just answered her politely though, and I could see that irked her. I smirked.

"MOS stands for military occupation specialty, basically what job you hold in the military," he explained. "All of them have designations, in this case it's 31B or Bravo – military police." He paused. "I would also like to add that having military service can certainly give your son an edge in the civilian world. And I'd be lying if I said there wasn't some honor to be found in serving your country." He smiled slightly. "We certainly don't do this for the paycheck and benefits alone."

Mom absorbed all of this for a long moment and then turned her eyes to me. "Why do _you_ want to do this, Edward?" she finally asked.

"I want to do what's right for _my_ family, Mom," I answered her as honestly as I could. Looking at my father, I could see that that answer had been the right one, and I could count on him to be on my side even if he didn't fully support the choice I had made. He recognized that it was my decision to make and that I was trying to do the responsible thing. Suddenly, I felt _older,_ taller, stronger – all of it. I felt…proud.

"I can't promise you that your son will come to no harm," Sgt. Mann said. "But then again, the truth of the matter is that none of us have any guarantees."

I looked at my Dad. "Remember Perry Thomas?" It took my father a moment but then his expression cleared.

"Yes, the boy who was shot in Seattle," Dad murmured.

My mom looked at him in question. Dad sort of shrugged. He knew exactly where I was going with this. "Two years ago, a senior from Forks High School went to Seattle to go to a concert. Before the concert he stopped at a convenience store and got shot. He was okay, it was just a through-and-through to his hip, but it obviously scared his parents."

"And?" Mom asked impatiently.

Dad gave a wry smile. "Well, it just so happened that his brother was home on leave from the Marines at the time and when I went to visit Perry, his brother was teasing him that he'd been to Afghanistan four times and never gotten a scratch and that Perry managed to get shot his first time in Seattle."

Sgt. Mann smiled but didn't laugh or make any comment, a discretion which probably saved him from my mother. Mom heaved a sigh and shook her head as if the workings of the masculine mind were beyond her.

"Ma'am," Sgt. Mann said. "There are a lot of good financial reasons for your son to choose the Army, but I suspect those don't mean as much to you as your son's welfare. That's how it should be. You're a mother and you want to protect him." Sgt. Mann paused. "But I've gotten to know Edward just a bit during the past few weeks and I've talked to him on numerous occasions." My parents and Bella looked surprised at this news. "I realize I don't know him as well as you do. I won't pretend I do. But I have the advantage of not remembering him as a small child or a young boy. I've only met him as a young man who wants to do right by his family. If he were my son, I would be very proud of how he's stood up to his responsibilities, the way he's prepared to do what he has to do to provide for them. He's sort of pushed himself into adulthood, and that can be difficult for everyone." He paused. "I think Edward here has the makings of a fine man, and I think the Army can help in making him the man he's meant to be – the man he _wants_ to be."

Dad shoved his hands in his pockets. "I guess we're not only worried about Edward, but Bella and the baby too." He looked at me. "What happens if you don't – God forbid – come home, Edward?"

Okay, here was the question I had hoped wouldn't be asked, only because the answer would freak Bella the fuck out. I glanced at Sgt. Mann and he nodded. We had talked about this too, and I had shared my concerns with him. I couldn't allow my choices to leave Bella a destitute teenaged mother with a baby to support and at the mercy of our parents. As it turned out, I wouldn't have to.

I was the one who answered. "Well, the Army has an optional life insurance policy of over $400,000 if… Well, Bella and the baby would be provided for. There would even be military dependent benefits for the baby until he or she's grown and for Bella." Until she got remarried, but I couldn't even say those words. I didn't like to think about Bella with someone else. It was selfish and wrong, but that's how I felt. I guess I wanted her to be happy, but not as happy as I had made her. I wasn't going to say that. It made me sound like an asshole.

"There are other benefits that just come from signing on. Did he tell you that he'll get a $50,000 bonus for signing up as an MP?" Sgt. Mann interjected, breaking through the uncomfortable silence.

"Fifty thousand dollars?" Rose asked in a choked voice. I wondered if Emmett would be checking out the military now. Rose just might give him a little nudge.

"Every job has a different bonus program," Sgt. Mann explained. "Some offer much less, some offer much more."

"More?' My father asked curiously.

"Well, I could have gotten a hundred grand if I'd gone with demolitions," I replied with a smirk. To be honest, I had considered it. But I was really fond of having my hands attached to my arms…and my arms to my body. And my upper body to the _rest_ of my body. You get the picture.

My mother muttered, "Lord save me from the testosterone rush." Or something to that effect. I'm pretty sure it involved more cursing.

My Dad looked shocked and then gave an approving nod. "I think you've given us a lot to consider Sgt. Mann."

Sgt. Mann stood up and shook Dad's hand, and then Mom's. She didn't look quite as disapproving but she wasn't doing the happy dance either. She was going to take some convincing. I only hoped that Sgt. Mann had at least alleviated some of their concerns. My recruiter came to Bella and shook her hand too.

"It's been a pleasure to meet you Ms. Swan," he said. "Please, feel free to write down any questions you have. Edward and I keep in touch and I'm here for both of you." He smiled. "I think you'll find that the Army can be just one big extended family. We all look out for each other."

Bella leaned into my side and nodded while Sgt. Mann bid Rosalie a polite and swift farewell. My sister looked rather put out that he didn't seem to be fawning over her. I wasn't surprised by that. I happened to know that Sgt. Mann was very happily married to a beautiful woman from Italy he had met while he was stationed there, and who would happily separate him from his balls if he so much as looked at another woman. I knew because I had heard him whispering sweet nothings to her like a pussy on his phone one day. It was an eye-opening experience to see the huge soldier basically sucking up to the woman whose photograph was on his desk.

He was whipped.

Of course, so was I.

And I sorta liked it.

_Author's Note: The mention of the shooting in this chapter is based on a real event. I know because the two young men involved were not brothers but in fact, two of my nephews (cousins instead of brothers). The nephew in the military was an Army Ranger, not a Marine, and the place where the shooting occurred was a downtown attraction site and not a convenience store. Still, the bare facts of the event are true, weird as it may seem._


	19. Chapter 19: It's Alive!

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 19: It's ALIVE!**

_**Bella's POV**_

School dragged on forever, no surprise there. And it sped by too, again, not a surprise. I had my first doctor's appointment that day and I was looking forward to it with only slightly more anticipation than when we'd told our parents about Baby C. I mean, I'm not really all that fond of a stranger's hands being up my kitty. There would also be the whole embarrassing "Yes we're both eighteen years old and we're having a baby" discussion. And then we'd get "the look" that told us how stupid and naïve we were.

Yes, thank you. We've got the message. Times ten. Or maybe to the tenth power. Everyone had an opinion, from the lady at the grocery store to Edward's second grade teacher (who stopped us in the post office to ask if the rumor was true). It was getting to the point that I didn't want to even go to the grocery store anymore.

After school, Edward and I got in his car and started for Port Angeles. Next time, I was totally making my appointment during school hours. If I had to be a statistic and a cautionary tale, then I was damned well going to suck all the silver lining out of this cloud that I could. We were mostly quiet on the drive. I wasn't talking because I was trying to remember if I had put on my best underwear (I was pretty certain I had), and wondering if I should have left school early to try and take a quick shower before showing my goods to the doctor. At least I had shaved my legs and groomed other…areas. How mortifying if I looked like a Wookiee in those stirrups. Then I realized that Edward would probably go back in the exam room with me.

Talk about a visual I didn't really need.

I have no idea what Edward was thinking. It could have been anything, from something deep like going into the Army or something completely perverted, like doing it on the exam table while my legs were spread because of the stupid fucking stirrups. Great. Now I was imaging the same thing. Apparently, I was as perverted as Edward.

We finally arrived at the medical building, still not talking but it didn't feel uncomfortable, just peaceful. We went up to the third floor in the elevator, existed, and then found ourselves staring at the door. Neither one of us made a move to open it.

**Dr. Vanessa Margusson**

**OB/GYN**

So, this was it. The doctor who would be catching our baby. I looked at Edward and he had this weird look on his face. I watched him swallow hard and then his hand reached for mine. He looked down at me and gave me that crooked smile that always makes my panties damp. Shit. _Now_? What the hell was wrong with me?

He leaned down and whispered, "Together. Remember?"

I took a deep breath and reached to open the door.

Holy. Shit.

There were pregnant women everywhere. EVERY. WHERE. Women who were barely pregnant and just had baby bumps showing. Women who looked as if they should have given birth months ago and were sporting some serious size mountains under straining shirts (shit, could I _possibly_ get that big without actually_ exploding_?) and every size in-between. What there _wasn't_ any to be seen of were fathers. No testosterone in the room.

No franks. No beans.

Except for Edward. Awwkkkwaarrrddd.

I heard him give a choked sounding chuckle before he led me to the desk where I had to sign in. The receptionist dutifully gave me the appropriate forms, of which there were a bazillion, all the while checking out _my_ boyfriend. You'd think someone who worked for an OB would have better manners at least. I gave her a look and let the pregnancy hormones do their thing. If she didn't watch it, I'd pull a Darth Vader on her ass.

I knew I shouldn't have watched Star Wars last night, but it was on and I was too lazy to get up and change the channel, having lost my remote. It was in my room. Somewhere. I'd probably find it after I gave birth.

We sat down, wedged into the only two empty seats, the women on both sides of us looked ready to pop. They also looked miserable. Of course, I'd be miserable too if I had a small elephant growing in my midsection. Then the woman sitting next to me shifted and I could see actual, honest-to-god movement under her shirt. I mean I could actually _see_ the baby moving under the shirt, the skin, the uterus – _everything_. It was scary as shit. I couldn't even imagine what that felt like from the _inside_. I looked away and felt my stomach flutter with nausea. _Oh please, not here_!

Edward just looked nervous and kept his eyes focused on the wall across from his. He rocked back and forth a few times. He swallowed hard every few minutes and wiped his hands on his jeans. And he was sweaty; one drip kept making its way down the side of his face. It was kind of sexy. Okay, being pregnant apparently made me horny too. Or maybe it was just Edward.

I filled out the forms, Edward fidgeted. I noticed the other women darting looks our way. I could practically read their minds.

_Aren't they a little young? _We're both like Benjamin Button and are actually sixty years old. We had to wait for our fertile years.

_Wow, she dated up. _Tell me something I don't know,

_Uh oh, teenage delinquents are reproducing! _And having fun doing it.

_I wish my man looked as sexy as that guy. _Oh honey, there's only one Edward Cullen in the world and he's all mine.

I might have been projecting. I'm not sure. Once the bazillion forms were filled out, Edward took them back to the desk and then came back to sit next to me. He didn't even seem aware of when the receptionist leaned forward to show off her cleavage. Ha! That was one area I had her beat in, for now at least. Bitch. I quickly discovered that sitting on an obstetrician's office is not a fun way to spend the afternoon. I watched as woman after woman got called back. Then it was my turn.

Edward and I still hadn't talked about him going back in the room with me. Or not. But when I stood up so did he. Okay, decision made. Then I remembered the whole stirrup fantasy thing and wished I would have told him to wait. But he was already following me and it was kind of too late to push the point. I'd just have to suffer through it.

The first thing they did was weigh me. Really? In front of _Edward_? Still, I realized that the number was only going to go up from here. And up. And up. Might as well get it over with. Edward didn't even seem to pay attention, so I was guessing the whole "I don't want him to know how much I weigh" thing didn't mean nearly as much to him as it did to me. Maybe it was only women who obsessed about that sort of thing. Good to know.

Then the nurse gave me a little cup with usual instructions, except she added something that totally threw me. "A clean catch." Excuse me? Was I fishing now? It was the only thing that came to mind, especially considering that I'm Charlie's daughter. Then she explained it while I blushed and Edward pretended to be _really_ interesting in a kitten painting.

Kittens? Really? In an OB/GYN's office? That's just weird. Why not just go for it and put up reproductions of Georgia O'Keefe's work?

Then they did blood work. Edward held my hand while they stuck me and let me bury my nose in his chest. I admit it. I sniffed. He smelled really good. Finally she led us to a little room and gave me a lovely paper gown. I looked at Edward helplessly.

He didn't have a clue either. How should we handle this?

"Uh, I can uh…leave…" he offered.

Then I giggled. I mean, really, what was the point? He'd seen all my bits up close and personal. Obviously. I undressed and Edward pretended not to look, but I knew he was. He also tried to be suave when he adjusted his cock in his pants. Suave he wasn't. I hoped he'd have that under control by the time the doctor finally came in the exam room. Talk about embarrassing. _Yes, doc, here's my incredibly handsome boyfriend and his boner_… _and the real reason we're here_.

A swift knock on the door and there was the doctor. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but she wasn't it. She looked sort of like a hippy with long dark hair that she wore straight and simple and a full, flowy skirt that would not have looked out of place at Woodstock. She gave us a big smile and introduced herself as Vanessa, not Dr. Margusson. I had sort of been expecting the whole "Aren't you too young for this?" lecture. But I guess she realized it was a little too late for that.

She asked some basic questions, the usual stuff. I gave the usual answers. Edward pretended to be mute and studied the ceiling tiles while we talked about my last period and if I was peeing more than normal. Then she whipped out the stirrups and suddenly Edward looked at me with a wicked glint in his eyes.

Oh yeah, my man was perverted. Thank God.

Still, this was not the time, even if it was the place. Kind of. Okay, not really. I assumed the mortifying position and Vanessa talked me through each step of the process. Edward was once again studying the ceiling, though his eyes kept shooting my way, taking a quick glance at my crotch and then darting away again. He _wanted_ to look, but then he felt like a pervert. God, sometimes its scary how well I knew this man.

"Okay then," Vanessa said, pulling the gloves off with a snap that made Edward jump. He had been peeking again. "How would you like to hear your baby's heart beat?" she asked, grinning at me. And then at Edward, which made me really like her. She wasn't ignoring him, like I suspected some doctors might have.

"That'd be great," I replied.

She moved to a drawer and pulled out a small box that had something that sort of resembled a microphone on it. Then she draped my lower half and pulled my lovely gown up, exposing my tummy. A quick squirt of gel, which was surprisingly warm, and then she placed the microphone thing low on my abdomen. She searched for a few moments, which worried me and I glanced at Edward. He looked worried too and moved up to my head, where he took my hand.

Vanessa seemed unconcerned so I tried to take comfort in that fact. Surely she would know when we should start freaking out?

Then… Oh. My. God. There it was. A quick rush-rush-rush of sound. Not like a heartbeat exactly, but it was alive and vital – the whoosing of a tiny heart. That was the sound of our baby – alive. Vanessa smiled and winked. "Sounds good," she confirmed.

I looked up at Edward, half expecting some smart ass remark, because that's what he does sometimes when he's overwhelmed. Or maybe that he'd be bored by it all. You can never tell with guys. Instead, there was just this strange smile on his face. It wasn't creepy strange, just different from anything I'd seen on his beautiful face – _ever._ It was tender and protective and scared all at the same time.

"That's our baby's heartbeat," he said so quietly that I really think he was talking to himself. He leaned down and kissed my cheek, his hand gripping mine so tightly that it was almost painful. His eyes were suspiciously bright, but he smiled again, though it shook a bit.

I kissed his knuckles, too overwhelmed for words.

_Hey Baby C_, I thought. Welcome to the world. _We love you, even though we don't a clue what we're doing. We'll try to figure it all out. _

Vanessa left me to get dressed and Edward handed me my clothes after I wiped the goop off my belly. Edward, being Edward, couldn't help but grope me a bit before I put on my bra. I moaned and then bit him on the shoulder in retaliation. He couldn't keep doing that shit to me and I couldn't help but get turned on by it.

We went into her office and she went over some things with us.

"All right then, your due date is August 10th," Vanessa said. "And everything looks to be right on schedule so far. You'll come in once a month until your seventh month and then we'll go to every two weeks. The last month I'll see you every week. Here's some stuff to read, answering basic, common questions." Then she reached in her drawer and pulled out a slim book which she handed to Edward.

_Becoming a Father: A Young Father's Guide_

"This is for you, Edward," Vanessa said. "I'm glad you came today. It will be especially important for Bella to have the support of her partner."

Edward gave a sort of half smile.

"Your insurance is through your parents, Bella, so that means you're covered," Vanessa said. "Unless you get married," she added.

Okay, one more thing to think about. Getting married was going to change things in a very practical way too. We had a lot to discuss.

"Next month we'll do a sonogram and you'll get a picture of the baby to take home," Vanessa said.

Edward jumped a little. I admit, it was kind of weird to hear her talking about pictures of the baby. Baby C was still pretty much a shadow, an idea. The thought of having a picture of the tiny human being we had created was…freaky.

"I also wanted to say that getting prenatal care early, and telling your parents about the pregnancy right away, was probably one of the most important things you could do to have a healthy baby," she went on in a solemn tone. "Your baby will benefit from your honesty and courage, I assure you."

I started getting teary-eyed, no surprise there. But a quick glance at Edward told me he was in the same boat. Now that _was_ a surprise. And it made me want to jump his bones. Again, no surprise.

_We finally did something right, Baby C._

She smiled at us. "And unless you have any questions, I think we're done. 

I looked at Edward. He looked at me. We both looked at Vanessa. "No," I finally said, when it became obvious that Edward wasn't going to talk. "I think we're good."

"My contact information is in there," Vanessa added. "If you have any questions, concerns…whatever, don't hesitate to call."

"Thanks," I replied as we got to our feet. We walked back through the waiting room which was now pretty much empty.

The drive back was almost as silent as the drive there. When we were almost to Forks, Edward looked at me and said, "Do you mind if we go to my house first?"

"No, sure, that's fine." I pulled out my phone. "Let me text my mom and let her know we're going to grab a bite to eat first." I looked at him and grinned. "You _will_ feed me right, so I'm not a big, fat liar?"

My favorite crooked grin was back. "Oh, I'll feed you, baby."

Suddenly, my girly parts felt all tingly again.

That damned stirrup fantasy…

_Author's Notes: Joining the military is a very personal decision. Because it puts a lot of pressure on the whole family, it really is one of those decisions that needs to be made by all involved. I come from a family with a lot of military, and I'll try to portray the experience of the military family with as much honesty as I can. Yes, Edward will go into the Army. No, he will not die. Yes, there will be angst. Whether you agree with his choice or not, be assured that he's making it for the right reasons._

Okay, now to fic recommendations. Honestly, I have so many that it's hard to know where to start, but I'll try… Links to both are on my favorites list.

A Garment of Brightness by miaokuancha

An Angry Man by katinki


	20. Chapter 20: Something Wonderful

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 20: Something Wonderful**

_**Edward's POV**_

The sound of the baby's heart beat had really done something to me. To actually hear the sound of that heart, to know that it was real, was… Wow. I couldn't even form the words to talk about it, so I didn't try. I lured Bella back to my house with promises of food – and maybe a little something extra. In the back of my mind, however, was that whoosh-whoosh-whoosh.

That was our _kid_.

A real human being, just nestled up nice and snug inside of Bella. How amazing was that? As I listened to that sound, I knew that my plans were right. I owed it to my kid to give him or her everything I could. Unfortunately, at eighteen years old my options were limited. But the Army… Well that was something I _could_ do. What was more, I _wanted_ to. Sgt. Mann was right, there was a sense of honor and respect in the idea. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of my decision. I knew I had screwed up by getting Bella pregnant, but joining the Army and providing for my family, well that might give me some of my pride back. Maybe I didn't have to be such a complete fuck up after all.

I tried to look one year down the road and I realized that everything would be different one year from now. Bella and I would have a son or daughter, that tiny sound pulsing inside of Bella would have a name, a face, a personality. I'd be a father…for real. A year from now I could be in a desert in the middle of a war zone. I might have a gun in my hand and bullets flying over my head with bombs exploding around me. That scared me, but not enough to stop me from doing what I knew was right. Or I could be stationed on some base in the middle of nowhere. Or Hawaii. The possibilities were almost endless. I had faith that my decision was the correct one, and I would hold onto that. Bella would be my wife and whether we were together or apart at the time, we'd be facing the tough times as one.

I knew that the shit we had coming was going to be hard. Sgt. Mann had told me how difficult it was on the families to be separated. He said it was the hardest part of the job. "It's not facing the enemy that's so scary, Edward. It's knowing that the woman you love is back home and facing all sorts of stuff alone. It hurts, and you're lonely – and hell you're scared out of your mind sometimes - but when you make it through it, there's nothing on God's green earth that beats the feeling of pulling your woman into your arms and knowing you've made it safely home to her…and that you've made her proud." He had patted me on the back so hard I had almost fallen down. "And at the end of the day, you have the pride of knowing you've done something that very few are capable of doing. There's a lot of honor in what a soldier does, and even more in the sacrifices that soldier and their families make. Don't let anyone take that away from you if you join. As far as I'm concerned, it's the best benefit of enlisting…the privilege of calling myself a soldier. I'm damn proud of what I do son, and I want you to be proud too."

He would know. He'd been to Iraq twice and Afghanistan once. He'd only been a recruiter for a year. I'm not surprised they picked him; he looks like a fucking poster boy for the Army. I told him that and he looked fucking embarrassed. Yeah, he sounded like a recruiting commercial, but it was one hundred percent sincere. When he said he couldn't imagine doing anything else with his life, he meant it. It was the right choice for him. I had a feeling it was the right choice for me too.

I was going to find out.

"Hey," Bella's voice interrupted my musings. "What're you thinking about?"

I shrugged. "Lots of things," I admitted. I lifted her hand to my mouth and kissed her knuckles. "You…the baby…the Army…being away from you…"

Bella grimaced. "That's going to seriously suck, you know."

"I know," I told her. "That's the one thing that made me hesitate."

"Care to share your thoughts on that topic?" Bella sounded genuinely curious, not angry or resentful. For like the billionth time in the past few months, I was so grateful for her understanding and acceptance, even when I was being a first class dick.

I sighed, trying to put my thoughts into words. It seemed like I spent a lot of time doing that lately. Bella teased that she was losing more and more brain cells as her pregnancy advanced. I thought she had it wrong. _I_ was the one losing brain cells – and I didn't have that many to spare to begin with. "Well, I mean, I know I'm going to miss you and the baby like crazy."

Bella laughed and a huge smile lit up her face. "What?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Nothing really, it's just that hearing you say you'd miss the baby…" She put her free hand on her belly, right over where Baby C was sleeping. "It just…I liked it."

"Me too," I said. We shared a smile. "Anyway, I know that being apart is going to be the worst part of it. I hate the thought of missing part of the kid's life more than anything."

"But?"

"I just hate the thought of our kid growing up without any security even more. I could work at a burger place or a shoe store or something, and you could get a job and if we both worked our assess off and were never home with the baby, then maybe, ten years down the road, we'd have something to show for it." I looked at her. "But that's not what I want. At least when I'm not deployed, I'll have more regular hours. We'll be able to afford for you to go to college right away if that's what you want. The spousal benefits are pretty fucking good. And I want that for you, Bella. I want you to get your degree without paychecks and rent and all that other shit being a constant struggle. We won't be rich, not by any means, but if we're careful we should be able to make it. And the income will be steady and we won't have to worry about paying for doctor's visits or medicines or any of the things kids need when they're babies."

"We _will_ make it," Bella vows. "And we'll get through the bad stuff, when you're gone, because at the end of the bad stuff will be something…wonderful."

"Baby, we've already got something wonderful," I told her. "It'll just be that much better."

Bella laughed. "Take me home and feed me G. I. Edward. Your kid is starving!"

**/RFL\\**

My house was quiet and empty when we get there. Mom was gone, probably shopping for food. She was keeping a lot of the weird shit Bella was eating around the house. We had four bottles of Tabasco sauce in the pantry. I still wasn't sure what was up with that. I didn't ask.

I made a quick sandwich for Bella. I had other things on my mind, but I could hear her stomach growling and knew I'd get farther if I fed her first. I could be a conniving bastard sometimes, but I promised myself I'd get Bella off first. I wasn't a complete dickhead…just a partial one. Besides, I knew Bella wasn't kidding when she told me I had to feed her. She was serious about that shit.

After inhaling the sandwich and some chips (with Tabasco sauce) and then some Chubby Hubby ice cream, Bella declared herself full. I washed up the dishes real quick and then took Bella's hand and led her up to my bedroom. I wasn't sure how long we'd have the house to ourselves, so I locked my door – just in case. It paid to be prepared.

Bella flopped face down on the bed so I straddled her and began massaging her back. She groaned and my dick twitched and hardened in my jeans. She made the same sound just before she came and my dick remembered. He had a pretty fuck awesome memory. After a few minutes, I tugged at her shirt and she lifted up enough for me to pull it off of her. I paid attention to the knots of muscle in between her shoulder blades. She had been nervous about the doctor's appointment.

After about fifteen minutes, I leaned down and whispered, "Turn over, baby." She was still for a moment and I wondered if she had fallen asleep. Then she sighed and rolled her and I undid her bra, which was one of those sexy front clasp things. Her tits were spilling over the top of it now, and I thought that maybe next weekend we could take a little shopping trip to buy her some stuff that fit. She'd thrown a tantrum but I was determined to win this one.

Unable to help myself any longer, I lowered myself on top of her and began kissing her softly – up and down her neck, my fingers lightly plucking at her nipples. She moaned and her hips began moving against me.

Jackpot.

I undid the button of her jeans with one hand and kept playing with her tit with the other. Her nipple was so fucking hard it felt like a marble against my palm. I squeezed her breast lightly and she hissed, arching up into my touch. My dick throbbed more insistently.

_Yeah, yeah, buddy, we're getting there._

Bella helped me push her jeans down her hips, her legs, off her feet. Fuck yeah. Then her hands were tugging at _my_ shirt and _my_ jeans and pretty soon we were pressed up against each other, skin to skin. And it felt fucking fantastic.

I rubbed my hard on against her hip and she shifted so that I was cradled in between her legs. I trailed my fingers down her chest to her belly, pausing briefly to caress her there. She wasn't showing yet by any means, but when she was on her back her belly didn't go as flat as it used to. Her little hip bones were still sticking up but there was a very slight roundness to her tummy in this position.

It was sort of sexy.

Then my dick twitched against Bella and she laughed and my fingers continued on downward. I caressed her folds. "Fuck baby, you're so _wet_…" I slid one finger inside of her. "Always so hot and wet for me."

"You get me wet," Bella whispered, nibbling at my lower lip as she tugged at my hair. She knew I loved that shit.

I groaned and thrust against her again, my dick sliding up and down against her slick heat. "You always feel so fucking good, baby."

"You're so hard," Bella murmured against my ear. "I love the feel of you against me…so hard and big…so fucking hot…"

"Shit," I hissed. "You're gonna make me cum before I even get inside of you."

"I don't mind," she whispered.

"I do," I argued. "When you were in those…whatever the fuck they were…shit…I almost lost it."

"The stirrups?"

"Fuck…" Just the words brought to mind all sorts of naughty fantasies. Not that I hadn't any to begin with. When I saw Bella spread out like that, I had wanted to tie her to those fucking metal contraptions and lick her until she screamed my name. And then I wanted to pound my dick into her we both were sweaty and exhausted.

Fuck… I wasn't helping myself any. "Shit Bella, just wait a second."

I took one nipple into my mouth. _Easy. Gentle_. She arched against me. So far, so good. I let my fingers play over her other nipple, giving them some attention. I loved the taste and feel of her.

Then I scooted down her body, licking and kissing a path. "I was so jealous when that doctor had her fingers in your pussy," I confessed.

Bella was just moaning, thrusting her hips against me insistently. I smiled as I swiped my tongue up through her folds.

"Fuck," she muttered, giving my hair a hard tug. My dick liked it.

Then I suckled gently on her clit and I felt a flood of moisture coat my fingers. "That's it, baby," I coaxed. "God, you looking so fucking hot like this."

I thrust my fingers into her slowly, gently…watching her face. Her mouth fell open and her head fell back as her shoulders lifted. That mouth…

Then I put my mouth back to her, moaning as I tasted her. Always so fucking good. I lapped and nibbled and sucked until she gave a muffled scream and I felt her honeyed essence trickle down my throat. It felt like forever since I had been inside of her and I moved up her body again.

She pulled me to her and kissed me, licking my mouth clean of her taste. It was an incredible turn on and my dick responded accordingly. Bella felt me hard and heavy against her stomach. She laughed and bucked against me and my dick slid into her. I closed my eyes and thrust. Fuck, she felt like heaven. "Uh…" I pulled back and thrust again. Heat. Soft heat. I could already feel my balls tightening. No way. This wasn't just about me.

I pulled out of her and Bella yelped a protest. I rolled over on my back and hauled her up and over me, lifting her hips and settling her on my cock. "I wanna watch you," I told her. There was nothing in this fucking world sexier than Bella when she had an orgasm. I lifted her hips again, urging her to move. I felt like I was going to fucking die if she didn't move.

Bella smirked down at me and gave a teasing little shift. "Fuck…Bella…" I couldn't help but groan as she rotated her hips. She was trying to fucking kill me.

Then she took pity on me, or she needed to move as much I needed her to, and she lifted up and dropped back down, groaning loudly as I was seated deep inside of her again. "Oh shit…yeah…baby…more…" I was grunting and barely coherent, but Bella apparently understood caveman and she started moving in earnest.

I couldn't help but watch her tits bounce as she moved. They were bigger now, the nipples slightly darker. I wanted to taste them but it felt too fucking good just where she was. Later. I'd feast on them later.

Then she reached behind her and started stroking my balls, giving them a little squeeze every now and then. "Fuck!" I was holding on by a thread. Bella's head fell back and I saw her chest start to blush and that sexy little gasp she always gave came out. Then her pussy clamped down on me and I was done.

I grabbed her hips and pulled her down, burying myself in her as far as I could. I felt my release ripple through me, thundering out of me into her. Then she collapsed on top of me and I felt her heart beating against mine.

I wrapped my arms around her. She was mine, my Bella. I was hers. We'd just have to hold onto that thought.

Later, she moved and snuggled up against me. I started thinking about the sound of our baby's heart in the doctor's office. I started thinking about our _baby_. I put my hand on her belly and she put her hand on top of mine.

"We should start thinking about names," I said, kissing her temple and inhaling the familiar scent of strawberries from her hair.

Bella was sleepy, so not quite with it. "Names? For what?"

I laughed and lifted her chin so that I could kiss her lips. "For Baby C, silly. We can't call him or her Baby C forever you know."

She was quiet for a long, long moment. Then she took a deep breath. "We're having a baby." Her voice was very quiet.

"Yes."

"We're going to be parents."

"Yes." I couldn't help but smile. She sounded like she was just figuring this out. I knew the feeling.

"We need to name our baby."

"That's what parents do," I agreed.

She closed her eyes for a moment and then hugged me hard. "I'm scared, Edward."

"Yeah, me too."


	21. Chapter 21: The Name Game

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 21: The Name Game**

_**Bella's POV**_

Somehow, hearing he was scared too made me feel better. We had been stupid, but neither of us was so stupid that we weren't scared. We both knew we had a lot of obstacles in our way. We snuggled in Edward's bed and just talked. Okay, he might have done a little post-nookie groping, but it was nothing less than I expected. I had noticed how his touch had changed over the past few months. Now his caresses were almost…I don't know…reverential. As if he was being very careful. Of course, then he would eventually get so turned on and he'd start touching me more like the old Edward. I decided that I liked both sides of him.

He talked about his hopes and fears about the Army. I discovered that Edward had a hidden part of him that wanted to be a part of something bigger than himself. Maybe that's why the FBI had been his goal for so long. God knows, it wasn't the money. He had come from money, and a part of me had sort of been surprised when it was clear he didn't want to be a doctor like his dad. His grades were good enough, but he told me that wasn't what he wanted.

Edward was excited about what he thought the Army could teach him. Okay, a part of it was the little boy in him. He wanted to dress up in the cool uniform and go around saying things like "Alpha Charlie" and "Squared Away!" He wanted to learn to use a gun and crawl on the ground in the mud and get tear gas squirted in his face. I didn't get the appeal, but the look on his face said it all. Most of all, however, he thought he would find the work fulfilling in a way that a regular nine-to-five job in an office or something wouldn't be. He wanted to serve. Who knew that my beautiful playboy would have such hidden depths?

And we discussed names. Oh boy, did we discuss names. He wanted to name a boy Shadow or Spike, ideas which I immediately vetoed. I wanted to name a girl Charlotte or Camille. He made faces at both choices. Finally, after some intense negotiations that involved tickling (he tickled me) and wandering hands (mine on him), we decided that the only fair way to settle our disagreement was to divide naming duties. I would give a boy his first name and Edward would pick the middle name. If we had a girl, he'd get first name choice and I'd bestow the middle name. I never knew that naming a child would be so complicated. We agreed that we'd submit short lists to each other in a week's time.

Then Edward began humming a little nameless tune and I felt his fingers ghosting up and down my arm and I got sleepy again. I fell asleep in Edward's arms. For that moment, in that bed and held by him, I wasn't scared.

I had Edward, and that's what mattered.

**~RFL~**

_**Edward's POV**_

Both sets of parents wanted a complete account of Bella's doctor's visit of course. Renee was still pouting that Bella hadn't taken _her_. Charlie had just asked a few questions, mostly about Bella's due date, her health, and the health of the baby. I pulled him aside and asked him about insurance co-pays. He seemed fucking surprised that I even knew the word. I didn't tell him that I only about it because I had looked over the forms that Bella filled out.

We talked about the co-pays and I asked him to please let me know what the totals would be. "Now Edward, you know we're happy to help you kids out," he told me.

"I appreciate that, sir, more than you know," I said. "And I honestly don't have that money to give you right now. But if you could just get that total to me, that would be great."

I had a plan, but I needed to discuss it with my father first. To be honest, I hadn't even really given the whole issue of how much it cost to have a baby much thought. I hadn't though about insurance or co-pays or unexpected medical expenses or even how it would all change if Bella and I got married before the baby was born. And I _did_ want to marry her before the baby was born.

So I had some arrangements to make and then I'd present Bella with the plan.

Somehow, amidst all of this insanity, Bella and I were both trying to make it through our senior year. Neither of us had taken a light class load – not having expected that we'd be dealing with the whole Baby C issue, of course. Bella had it the worst, since the pregnancy was physically exhausting. She was also still catching some nastiness from Lauren and her crew, though they were careful to never do it when I was around. I just tried to make sure I was around all the time.

I really wasn't all that interested in writing a paper on Shakespeare's sonnets or learning about physics or listening to boring lectures on Calculus (not a thrilling topic at _any_ time). I didn't give a shit. I had a much more important assignment. It had been one week since the doctor's appointment and I was supposed to be getting my short list - three names - to Bella _today_. It had sort of snuck up on me.

It wasn't that I hadn't given it much thought. The problem was that I was thinking about it_ too_ much. I'd find a name in the baby name book (yes, I was fucking carrying it around) and write it down. Then I'd think about someone I knew with that name and I'd wonder if I really wanted my kid to be like that. Stupid, I know, but it put some names out of contention in about thirty seconds.

Instead of listening to Mr. Schaeffer drone on about the duties and limits of the House of Representatives, I opened up the baby name book under my desk and started reading again, starting at **A**. Bella was safely on the other side of the room in that class, so she wouldn't know I was not prepared. The sheer size of the book was a little daunting. How many fucking names could there be? Apparently a fucking lot.

Okay, I could do this. I was a reasonably intelligent person, all evidence the contrary aside.

**A…**

Amber? I shook my head. It reminded me of a stripper's name. Next.

Avery… not bad. Avery Cullen. I could live with that. What possible nicknames could be formed from Avery? I thought about it. Ovary. Yeah, no. That wouldn't work. So, no on Avery, which was a shame because I sort of liked it.

Nothing else in the As so I moved on. **B**.

Bella. I grinned. She'd kill me, but it might be worth it to see her reaction if that was on my short list. Hell, people did it all the time with sons. There were juniors and IIs and IIIs running around all over the place, right? With a snort, I carefully wrote "Bella" on a piece of paper. She liked Bella better than Isabella and so did I, even if I sometimes called her Izzy to piss her off. One down, two to go.

Really, this shit was harder than I thought. How had my parents done this _twice_? Maybe that's why Bella was an only child. I tapped my pen on my desk as I tried to finish up the Bs.

Beyonce? Ah hell no. I'd never do that to a kid. I could see some obnoxious little fuck singing "put a ring on it" and dancing around her, making her life miserable. Not happening.

Caitlin? Not bad, except, she'd be called Cate or Kate for short. Oh no, that wouldn't fly with Bella. I couldn't blame her. Damn, now I needed to eliminate the names of ex-girlfriends too. God, how did people do this when they'd had _years_ to rack up a total? There wouldn't be any fucking names left! Well, maybe names like Bertha and Hilda.

Cassidy? It was Gaelic, which I liked. I counted my parents' ethnic background as my own. I didn't give a shit where my birth parents' ancestors had hailed from. I was a Cullen, plain and simple. Cassidy Cullen. I liked the sound of it. And even though it could be shorted to Cassie, I could live with that. I wrote down Cassidy. I thought Bella could live with it too.

The letters D, E, F, and G yielded nothing of interest. In H the name Helga made me roll my eyes. _As if_. But I did put the name Hayleigh aside for future consideration. I wasn't sure it deserved one of the three spots, but it wasn't terrible. If nothing else I could keep it in mind in case Bella rejected my three top choices.

I, J, K, and L were busts too. Some of the names in the book made me want to crack up. Liberty? Yeah, like I wanted my kid nicknamed Liberty Bell. Luna? How you doing, Looney? Lyric? Really? Why not just name the kid Music and get it over with?

Then the bell rang and I had to shove the book in my back pack. Bella was in my next class too, and sat right beside me, so I couldn't continue there. She'd have a shit fit if she saw me rushing through picking out baby names. I mean, the poor kid was going to be stuck with our choice for fucking _life_. It was like roulette, you either ended up a Cassidy or a… Beyonce.

As I sat there and pretended to pay attention, I thought about names and what I liked. I wanted something fairly modern, but not a cookie cutter name like Jessica (just the thought of a Jessica Cullen made my balls crawl back up into my body). I wanted to make sure that our kid's initial wouldn't spell out anything obscene or embarrassing and that possible nicknames wouldn't be mortifying. Shit like that can scar a kid for life. Now I knew why my parents had pulled from old family names and considered it done.

Like the coward I was, I escaped to the bathroom to search desperately for choice #3. Bella couldn't follow me there, though she did give me a look of concern. I just shook my head and smiled, telling her I was okay. Knowing Bella, she had had her three names picked six days ago, along with their origin, their meaning, alternate spellings and their ranking in the most popular baby names of the past decade.

While_ I_ was reduced to sneaking into the boy's room for some privacy. In the stall, I frantically flipped through the pages. Last year, I had snuck off to the bathroom to get a look at the new Playboy, this year it was a baby name book. A lot changes in a year.

**M…**

Madeline? Possible. Maddie would be okay, and Maddie Cullen sounded all right. But Madeline Cullen? I wasn't sure. Like Hayleigh, I kept it in the back of my mind.

It wasn't until I got to S that I found something I liked well enough to consider at all. Samantha… Okay, it reminded me a little bit of Bewitched, but that aside, I sort of liked the idea of a girl named Sam. It sounded tough and feisty, and I could imagine her decking any boy that was stupid enough to try anything. Sam sounded like the kind of girl who could kick a boy's balls.

I finally decided that I would write down all five names: Bella, Cassidy, Hayleigh, Madeline, and Samantha. I looked over the list and I already knew which one was my favorite. I didn't want to mark it in any way, but I was hoping it would be the one that Bella liked best.

I smiled as I thought of holding my daughter's hand and calling her by the name I had picked for her.

Okay…five names, so I'd completed the assignment and then some. I was looking forward to seeing Bella's list, but there was no way in _hell_ I'd agree to an Edward, Jr.

No fucking way.

_**Bella's POV**_

I felt in my pocket for the list. I had edited, revised, changed, and revised it again and again over the past week. Every time I thought I had picked the perfect name, something else would occur to me. One time I remembered that I had known a Joshua in kindergarten and he had called me names. So that name was eliminated. Then I had written down Peter. I liked the name. A lot. But really, naming a boy Peter was just asking for penis jokes. Another one bites the dust. So it went over and over again.

The problem wasn't finding names, it was finding names without baggage. It had taken me a week to name my goldfish when I was seven. He ended up with Morty the Fish even after seven days of agonizing indecision. This poor kid was doomed. I wondered if Baby C would be legal on a birth certificate?

But I'd finally managed to get it down to three names. I could only hope that Edward would go for one of them. I pulled out the list.

**Edward **

I knew that he wasn't going to go for it, but I had to try. All he could do was say no. And he would.

**Jason**

As a horror movie buff, Edward might object to this one too. He liked Halloween over Friday the 13th, and he would immediately think Crystal Lake when I proposed Jason. But I wasn't agreeing to Michael (Mike Newton anyone?) so he would just have to suck it up.

**Carson**

All in all, this was my favorite, though I still wasn't sure how Carson Cullen sounded. I'd see what Edward thought. Was the alliteration soothing or silly?

_Note to self: Edward would make a great middle name. Just saying…_

All I could do was thank heavens that we weren't having twins because there was no way in hell we could have found two names we'd both agree on. I guess if push came to shove, we could fall back on Morty.


	22. Chapter 22: This Parenting Thing

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 22: This Parenting Thing**

_**Edward's POV**_

Bella and I walked to the car after the last bell rang. My list was burning a hole in my pocket and I was practically twitching in my excitement. Bella host me an amused look and asked me if I had to pee. "What makes you ask that?" I rolled my eyes at her.

"You're doing the pee pee dance that little kids do when they have to go," Bella informed me with a smirk. "All that's missing is you holding your dick."

I was about to suggest that _she_ could do the holding, but I had something else on my mind, at least for the moment. "Ha, ha, very funny." I made sure that Bella was safely settled into the passenger seat and walked around to the driver's side. I got in and turned to her. "Listen, I was wondering if you'd mind taking a little drive with me, before we uh…you know…share our lists."

"So you actually got your list of names done, huh, Cullen?" she asked, her lips trying to tug up into a smile.

"Of course I did." I tried to manage to sound insulted. Okay, I had gotten the list done an hour before school ended. In the boys' bathroom, writing against the wall of the stall. Those were details that weren't pertinent at the moment so I decided not to share them.

"Oh…" Bella said. "I was just wondering since you seemed sort of desperate to escape to the bathroom earlier and I thought maybe it was because you wanted to take a look at the baby name book you keep in your backpack." She giggled.

Busted.

"Whatever," I said dismissively. "The point is I've got my names and I think they're pretty fucking awesome."

"Won't be as good as mine," Bella retorted. I snorted. I totally owned the Name Game and she was just about to figure that out.

"Okay, if you say so."

"You're awfully cocky for a man who was hiding out in the boys' bathroom to pick names for his child." Bella shook her head, but the smile remained, so I guessed I wasn't in _too_ much trouble. And once she got a look at the names, all would be forgiven.

"Just wait," I promised her. "Then you'll be amazed at my awesome skills."

"Okay, big boy, keep your hair on," she teased. "And I'll have you know that the names I picked for our son are going to totally blow your names for a girl out of the water." She humphed. "Besides, we're going to have a boy. I just know it."

"Wanna bet?" I asked.

"Bet what? I don't have any money and neither do you," she said, poking me in the arm. "We're poor, teenage parents, remember?"

Something about the way she said it made me laugh.

"We're so poor we're gonna have to eat ketchup sandwiches," I said.

"Honey, we're so poor we can't afford the ketchup," Bella shot back.

"Maybe the generic brand," I guessed.

She shook her head. "Nope, it'll be bread and water."

I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "I'd be happy to live on bread and water with you Bella." I took her hand in mine and got my eyes back on the road. I had precious cargo. "As long as we get to have lots and lots of sex."

"There's always a catch," Bella murmured.

I shrugged. What could I say? I liked sex. A lot. It was programmed into me, simple biology.

It didn't take long to find the place I wanted to go to exchange names. The weather was shitty, which was a given in Forks. We ignored it, as we usually did. A short hike later and we were at my "thinking rock," as I liked to call it when I was younger. It was here that I'd first kissed Bella with tongue. It was here that I'd first touched her boob. Not on the same day, of course. Bella had been pretty strict about boob touching for a long time. It had been worth the wait.

I sat down and steadied her while she did the same. She sighed and slumped into her jacket, looking about five years old. I could see she was messing with something in her pocket.

"Okay, here's what I propose we do with our lists," I said. "On the count of three we exchange lists. We'll read the names but not say anything. You didn't mark your favorite or anything did you?'

Bella shook her head, her dark eyes shining.

"Good, so, we'll look at each other's lists. Once you've picked your favorite just nod. I'll do the same. Then I'll count to three again and on the count of three, we'll both say our favorite names from each other's lists. Got it?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "I understand English, you know."

"Just checking."

"Aren't you making this way more complicated than it has to be?"

I pouted. "I think I'm making it more _fun_."

"It's nice to know that my kid and his father will have the same level of maturity."

I stuck my tongue out at her. "One…" I pulled out my list and Bella did the same. "Two…" I extended my hand. "Three!" Bella snatched my list and I grabbed hers.

I quickly glanced at the list.

Edward?

Fuck and no.

Jason?

What? Like I wanted the Crystal Lake serial killer as a kid?

Carson?

Of the three, this was my favorite, but I had a feeling that Bella was going to try and make me change my mind to Edward (never happening, I would never saddle my kid with the name) or Jason (better than Edward but there was no way in hell I was buying the kid a hockey mask). I looked at Bella and she seemed surprised.

"You picked five names," she said. "And one of them was Bella." She shook her head. "That doesn't count."

"You picked Edward," I pointed out.

"That's different," she insisted. "Boys are named after their fathers all the time."

"Well then it is high time we ended that sexist tradition."

"Nice try." Bella winked.

"Thanks, I'm glad you think so."

"So…" Bella nodded. I nodded. "One." She sat up straight. "Two." She folded the list and put it in her pocket. I did the same with hers. "Three."

And just like that, we said the names aloud.

"Carson."

"Cassidy."

We grinned at each other. "That was my favorite too," we both said together.

I hugged her close, hardly even groping. I leaned in whispered in her ear, "We totally rock this parenting thing so far."

"I hate to tell you," she whispered back. "But that was probably the easiest part of it all."

"Shhh…" I closed my eyes. "Don't ruin the moment. Let me savor the victory."

She kissed me, and the moment was perfect.

** ~RFL~**

My dad was at work and I decided to drop by to see him, mostly because I knew if I could actually catch him in his office that was the most private place we would have to discuss what I wanted to discuss. I had taken Bella home, still pretty stoked about having successfully cleared the first hurdle of the whole parenting thing. Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know that picking a kid's name wasn't exactly going to be the toughest thing we ever did as parents. But I was just fucking proud that we'd managed the task at all.

To my surprise, my dad was actually in his office and not on the phone when I knocked on the door. His assistant, the dragon lady Mrs. Morton, had given me that strange look that Bella and I had both been getting a lot lately. It was a look of equal measures of pity and condemnation. I had knocked up my girlfriend. Old news, people. Old news.

Apparently, the Forks' gossip grape vine was alive and well. Good to know.

"Edward," my father said, actually sounding pleased.

"Hey," I replied. Fucking brilliant, Edward. Just brilliant. "Uh, I was wondering if you had a minute?"

"Sure," Dad said, nodding at the chair in front of his desk. He didn't even check his watch or sound hesitant.

"When Bella and I were at the doctor's, I got a look at the co-pays," I said. Dad nodded. He knew all about that shit. "And I know the Swans are paying those right now since Bella is covered under his insurance." Dad nodded again, not saying anything. That made me nervous as fuck. "I don't really feel right about Charlie paying that. It can't be easy for them."

"What do you propose?" Dad asked, leaning forward.

"When I finish Basic Training, I'll get part of my bonus," I explained. "It's not all paid at once, but I'll get several thousand just for enlisting and graduating from Basic. Then there's the MP bonus." I shrugged. "Anyway, my Basic bonus will be enough to pay for the medical costs. Well, mostly."

Dad hesitated and I wasn't sure if I sounded like an idiot. "I must say son, I'm impressed." Impressed? I'd gotten my eighteen year old girlfriend pregnant and he was _impressed_? He took a look at my face and grinned. "You know what I mean. So…what is your plan?"

"I'd like to borrow the money for the medical costs and pay you back once I get that first bonus check. I'd sign a paper saying I borrowed the money and all, but I really want to try and do what a father does for his kid. And that means paying doctors' bills and shit."

"Mouth?" Dad shook his head and then he laughed. "I suppose if you're going to be a father I shouldn't…bitch too much when you curse." I had to laugh at how prissy Dad sounded saying the word bitch. Mom could drop the F bomb and sound totally natural. Dad couldn't pull off a bitch. But at least he tried.

"Yeah, well, I'm working on that too," I assured him. "I have a feeling that Bella is going to get picky about that."

"Probably," Dad agreed.

"So…what do you think?" I needed to know before I approached the Chief.

"Well, I can only see one problem with your plan."

My heart sank and I ran my fingers through my hair. "What is that?"

Dad smiled. "Your mother and I want to help too. After all, we're going to be grandparents as much as Charlie and Renee."

I was confused and my expression must have revealed that.

"I realize that we have more…financial resources than the Swans," Dad continued. "Your mother and I discussed it and we'd like to cover the medical expenses of the birth. Though I must tell you that I'm very, very proud of you for wanting to do so."

"Dad, I-"

He held up a hand. "Yes, I know…your bonus. But I think that money would best be put to use for you and Bella and the baby. There are always unexpected expenses associated with children, Edward. You'll discover that fact sooner rather than later. And your bonus will help out there." He shrugged. "Besides, your mother and I want to do this. You're doing your part, Edward. We couldn't ask for more. But please…let us help as well."

I hardly knew what to say. My mouth opened. My mouth closed. Opened again. And still nothing. "Uh…thanks," I finally managed. Then a thought occurred to me. "Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I want to marry Bella before the baby is born. And from what the doctor said that will impact the insurance situation."

He thoughtfully tapped his finger against his chin. "Yes, at least with the hospital. The doctor will have to be paid in full before the birth." He paused. "Let me find out how that will effect the situation and you and I can make plans then."

I nodded and we both stood up. I went to give him my hand but he pulled me into a tight hug. It felt weird, but…good. "I'll see you at home later, son."

"Okay."

I got to the car and sat there for a while. Slowly, I could feel the panic creeping up on me. It all hit me. We'd picked names. For our baby. A kid. There was really a kid on the way. A kid named Carson or Cassidy. Baby C. Literally.

I leaned against the steering wheel, willing my breaths to slow down. We could do this. We weren't ready by a long shot, but we'd do it anyway. It's not like we could cancel it or anything.

I thought about the guy I'd been a year ago. My biggest worry had been wondering if it would be raining too hard to make out with Bella in the meadow, or if her parents would extend her curfew so that we could go to Pt. Angeles for dinner _and_ a movie. Now I was stressing about insurance co-pays, just how hard boot camp would really be, and picking out names for my kid.

I was surprised to feel the tears on my cheeks. I hadn't realized I was crying. Like a pussy. I was only grateful that no one was around to see me. Angrily, I wiped them away. Taking a deep breath, I leaned back in the car seat and started the car.

Scared shitless or not, the baby was coming. Freaked out or not, I was going to be a husband, a father, _and_ a soldier in the next six months. The problem was I didn't know how to _be_ any of those things. And I was just starting to realize that.

_Deep breaths, Cullen. Deep breaths._

Then I was pulling the car over on the side of the road and stumbling out. My stomach clenched and rebelled and I was barfing in spectacular fashion over the guardrail. After several long minutes there was nothing left.

I leaned against the guardrail, my legs shaky and my stomach aching. My head was keeping time with the spasms of my stomach. I wiped my mouth and tried to stand up straight. _Okay_. I took a deep breath. _It's fine. You just experienced a little moment of sheer terror, but that's over. Now…just get it together and look calm. Even if you can't BE calm, look calm. Perception is ninety percent of reality. You can do this. You have to do this. Just remember Bella and your baby._

And chill the fuck out.

Easier said than done.


	23. Chapter 23: Nerves

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 23: Nerves**

_**Bella's POV**_

Edward was agitated and cranky. I really thought all of that was my prerogative, but apparently Edward hadn't gotten the memo. It was Friday and I would be spending much of tomorrow alone. Alice and Angela had a family thing to go to, sort of a command performance. Rose was…well she wasn't the most pleasant company at the moment. Besides, she'd be attached at the lips to Emmett. Ugh.

Suddenly I realized why Edward was out of sorts. Tomorrow was his first workout with the Army recruiters. They got together at least two or three weekends a month to give future recruits a chance to see what a real Army workout was like. They put them through the paces for several hours on Saturday.

Edward had to be nervous. I would be. And if the way he was snapping at everyone was any indication, he most definitely had a case of the nerves. I took a deep breath and tried hard to keep from smacking him in the back of the head. Rose had taught me a few moves. She had to keep Emmett in line, which was no easy job.

Finally I decided that he needed a little something to help him relax. And I knew what always made Edward relax. Really, he's an eighteen year old male. It's not difficult to figure out. "Hey," I said, tugging at his hand. He was sitting on the floor with his iPod on, probably listening to emo music and sulking. He frowned up at me. Yep, definitely sulking.

I hid my sigh. It was such hard work training him sometimes. At least I had gotten him young, which gave me an advantage.

"What?" he asked, still scowling.

"You're going to take me to the meadow," I told him.

For the first time, amusement flashed across his handsome face. "Oh I am, am I?" At least that was progress.

I nodded. "Yep, or I'm going to hurt you." I smiled as I said it. I tugged at his hand again and he obliged me by getting to his feet. I wrapped my arms around him. "I promise to make it worth your while…" I nipped at his earlobe.

"Okay," he said. "I guess."

I pulled back and pouted. "That's the best you can do? 'I guess'?"

He grinned. "Come on, sexy mama."

"Call me that again and I'll never let you touch the girls again," I threatened.

"Got it."

We got in his car and drove to the trail close to the meadow. It was March, so it was still chilly, but we were used to it. It would take more than a little cold air to keep us clothed. Besides, my Boy Scout always had a blanket or two stuffed in the back of his car. Just another reason to love him.

We walked slowly (because of me), stopping often to kiss (because of both of us), and eventually just stopped and started making out by a fallen log (that was all on Edward). He slipped his hands under my shirt to play with my boobs, lightly tweaking the nipples. They were still sensitive, but in a good way, not in a "touch them and die" way. We were both loving that little change in things.

The meadow was perfect because it was completely private, and yet it was also a disappointment. It took only a moment with us huddled under the blankets for me to realize that there would be no "sexual healing" taking place outside today. It was just too damned cold. So I contented myself with shivering close to Edward and before long, his body heat was warming me to comfort.

He kissed my ear. "I'm sorry I've been so grumpy," he said.

"It's all right, I'll let you make it up to me later," I promised.

"I will," he answered. "I've just had a lot on my mind, you know?"

Of course he did. We both did. We were eighteen years old and about to become parents. To top it off, a month after we became parents, he would be taken away from me –and our baby- for nineteen weeks. If he hadn't been so convinced that this was the right thing, I would argue hard to get him to change his mind. But I sensed that he needed to do this, so I was going to be strong. I supposed I had better get used to it, as I would probably be doing a lot of waiting at home for him over the next few years.

He nudged me until I fell on top of one blanket and then he hovered over me, covering us with the other one. "I love you so much, Bella," he whispered. He put his hand over my belly where only a slight roundness betrayed the life growing there. "And I love our baby too, Baby C…Cassidy."

"Or Carson," I reminded him.

He smiled and nodded. "Or Carson. I'd love a Carson too." He nuzzled my neck. "Carson Cullen…sounds like an actor or something."

"Maybe he'll grow up to be famous," I suggested.

"Can you imagine him sharing the story of how he was conceived against a wall?" Edward sniggered.

"Let's hope he never finds out," I said fervently.

"Anyway, I've had a lot on my mind. I know that's no excuse, but I mean it," Edward said again. "It's not you. It's never you." Then he shrugged when I arched one brow at him. "Okay, _sometimes_ it's you, but not now."

I giggled.

He rested his head against one ginormous boob, holding onto the other one with his hand. He'd sleep like that, I swear. It was his pacifier. If we ever got the chance to like actually _sleep_ together. I stroked his messy hair, making it look like even more of a hot mess. I would really miss the hair…

"Are you worried about the training with Sergeant Mann?" I asked after a while.

"No, I don't think it will be really any different than a coach yelling in your face, so no…." He shook his head. "I've had some pretty tough coaches."

"Then what's got you worried?" Besides the fact you're going into the Army and we're having a baby, I mean.

He shifted around and I wondered if he was going to try and "persuade" me into having sex in the middle of this frozen meadow. He might be able to make me see his side of the story. But instead, he wriggled around until he got his hand into his pocket. "Well see…I've had this thing I wanted to do." He pulled his hand out of his pocket and it was clutched tightly around…something.

"And this isn't how I wanted to do this," he went on. "I was really planning on some big romantic scene where I said something so sweet and romantic that it made you cry and I'd wipe your tears and…" He heaved a sigh. "But really, that just isn't us."

I shook my head.

"So, I decided that I'd just go ahead and do this because if I don't, I'm going to lose my mind." He sat up and pulled me to a sitting position as well. There we were, huddled under the blanket like a tent, our noses pressed together. I could smell his shampoo and the mint on his breath.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I love you. I've loved you since the day I saw you and I'm going to love you until the day I die. I know this isn't how we planned it, but I want you to know that I don't regret it. What I mean is, I _do_ regret that I'm putting you through so much, but please don't ever doubt that I love you and I want to marry you. That I could never regret. Even if there was no baby, you know I'd want to marry you." He chuckled. "This just sort of sped things up." He took my left hand. "I would have loved to get you a big diamond, but there just seemed to be something really wrong about asking my parents for the money to buy my future wife an engagement ring. So my mom showed me this." He held out a gold ring. Two hands clasped around a heart, topped by a crown. "It's a Claddagh ring, and it was my great-grandmother's. They were married for 62 years, so I figure it's gotta be good luck." 

I nodded, my throat too tight for me to speak.

"Right now I'm going to put it on your left hand, with the heart pointing out." He slid the ring on my finger and it fit. Perfectly. "That shows the world that we're engaged. And that I love you and our baby and I'm never going to leave you." He kissed me tenderly. "When we get married, I'll turn the ring and point the heart inward, to show that you're taken…forever." He kissed me again. "And so am I."

"So…" He drew in a shaky breath. "As fucked up as I am, and as foul-mouthed and irresponsible as I am, will you still have me for your husband?"

I threw my arms around him with such force that he tumbled to the ground, me right behind him so that I landed on him. He grunted and then I was kissing him all over his face. After a moment, he pulled away and grinned up at me. His eyes were brilliantly green in the weak sunlight that shone over us since the blanket had slipped. "So…is that a yes?"

"Yes, yes, yes," I mumbled. "A thousand times yes."

He hugged me close. "God, I'm glad that's over."

I slapped at his chest and he pulled me close to snuggle. I lifted my hand up to the sun, watching it gleam in the light. "Sixty two years, huh?"

Edward nodded. "That puts us at only eighty years old. Since I plan for us both to live a very, very long time, I figure we can beat them."

I rested my head on his chest. "I'm certainly willing to give it a shot."

He lifted my face so that he could look into my eyes. "Thank you," he said quietly. "Thank you for still loving me after…everything. Thank you for supporting my decision to go into the Army. And most of all, thank you for Baby C."

I kissed him.

Then I felt his hand on my boob. Again. "And thank you, God, for these amazing tits!" he called out.

"You're going to get struck by lightning," I scolded.

"I already did, baby, the minute I saw you," he said.

"You want some crackers with that cheese?"

"No," he said, nuzzling me. "Just you."

"That I can arrange."


	24. Chapter 24: Wardrobe Malfunction

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 24: Wardrobe Malfunction**

_**Edward's POV**_

Our parents were expecting the news of our engagement, so that went pretty smoothly. Bella's mom cried a little, and I'm pretty sure they weren't exactly happy tears. She still looked at me like she wanted to have me neutered. Charlie was resigned, but cautiously optimistic about my qualities as a man who just might – one day _far_ in the future – be somewhat deserving of his daughter.

My mom wanted to know when we were getting married, which had both Bella and I on edge. We had just sort of decided to get married. Deciding _when_ was sort of beyond us at that point. I was hoping that Bella wouldn't want anything big or fancy. I imagined that our marriage and impending parenthood were providing enough ammunition for the town gossips. I didn't particularly want them all staring at me while I made Bella my wife. I'd be nervous enough as it was.

And then there was the added question of whether or not we'd announce our engagement to Forks High School in general. Yeah, our friends would know, but honestly the number of people who had really stuck beside us wasn't that big. Angela, Alice, Emmett, and sometimes Rose. But Rose knew by default; she was my sister. I knew _she_ wouldn't tell anyone. She was embarrassed by the whole thing enough as it was.

So, the issue of making an announcement was something else we put off. Maybe it would just be best to quietly tie the knot right after graduation. Bella said the idea had merit so that was kind of what we were learning toward. Nothing had to be decided immediately and it was kind of a relief to set it aside for the moment.

Then it was five o'clock on Saturday morning and I was driving to Pt. Angeles. It was my first workout with the Army recruiters. Two of them had been drill sergeants so they were supposedly planning to give us all a taste of what the "real" Army would be like. I was so nervous that I was ready to puke all the way there.

I had no idea what to expect.

_**Bella's POV**_

I hadn't realized just how much time I spent with Edward until he wasn't there. I knew I probably wouldn't see him at all on Saturday and I hadn't really expected that to bother me. Instead, I felt at loose ends. I told myself that I would have to get used to that feeling. After all, this time next year I'd be sitting in an apartment on a base who-knows-where with a baby to take care of and a husband (holy shit!) that probably wasn't going to be there.

That was enough to send me into a crying jag that actually made me vomit. Luckily, my mother wasn't there to hear me or she would have given me no end of shit.

Just the thought of how different my life would be soon was terrifying. What in the hell did I know about being a wife? Or a mother? Nothing, that's what I knew about it all. I had no clue. And what were we thinking when we considered trying to raise a baby without our parents there to help us on a daily basis? We were both insane and obviously incapable of taking care of a tiny, helpless life.

I should have my head examined. A brain scan would probably reveal a large area of "stupid" in my skull.

_**Edward's POV**_

So…they almost killed me. Seriously, those soldiers weren't fucking around when they said they weren't going to take it easy on us. I'm not ashamed to say I puked after our eight mile run. I had thought I was in shape, after all I played sports. I worked out. I did a little running. And I was young, that alone should have been enough. Right?

I found out that I was, in fact, not in shape and that I was, in all actuality, a fucking pussy. My only consolation was the realization that A) I wasn't the only prospective recruit that barfed and B) after it was all over, Sgt. Mann told me I had done "all right." I was starting to get the impression that the Army wasn't nearly as big on motivational speeches as football coaches were.

Somehow, I managed to get myself to my car on my wobbly legs. My chest burned (push ups seemed to be the staple of the Army workout, that shit was not just in the movies) and my arms felt like noodles. I wasn't sure how the hell I was supposed to be able to actually drive in that state. By some miracle, I arrived home in one battered piece and sort of crawled up the stairs to my room.

I was too fucking exhausted to eat or undress, so I fell into my bed surrounded by my own stench. And I just didn't give a fuck.

**~RFL~**

The next month passed quickly. Bella's little bump continued to grow, but it wasn't really noticeable as being caused by pregnancy. Honestly, she just looked a little bloated. I thought I was giving her a compliment when I told her so. She didn't share my opinion on the matter and didn't speak to me for almost an hour.

After what she considered an appropriate amount of groveling, apologizing, and complimenting, she allowed me back on my bed. Yes, she had banished me from my own fucking bed and told me to sit on the floor. Of course, like the bitch I was, I did it.

You don't mess with a pregnant woman. Ever. That shit is dangerous.

Then came the morning when I went to pick her up for school and she wasn't waiting on the front porch. I was a little concerned, but not frantic. So I let myself in and walked up the stair to her room. I found her sitting in the middle of her bedroom floor, bawling her eyes out.

"Bella! Baby, what's wrong?" I was sort of checking her out, looking for any obvious injuries. I mean, she's sort of clumsy at the best of times but now with Baby C tagging along, things were bound to get worse.

She looked up at me and started crying harder.

"Bella, you're scaring me," I said, pulling her into my arms. There we were sitting on the floor, Bella sobbing and me just waiting for some fucking clue to tell me what was going on. Bella could only shake her head and cry harder when I asked.

Finally, she calmed down enough to start getting a few words out, not that they made any sense. "I'm…stupid…nothing…fits…fat…is over…"

I blinked as I tried to decipher what ever the hell code _that_ was but I was coming up with nothing. "Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

She heaved a sigh and wiped off her face. I picked up a dirty shirt from her floor and wiped the snot from her nose. Normally that would have totally grossed me out, but I was trying to learn not to freak out over that shit. From what I knew, babies weren't exactly neat and clean most of the time. Maybe that's why pregnant woman cried all the time, so the father would have a chance to get used to tears and snot and tantrums for no reason.

I wondered if there had ever been a study done it.

Then Bella snapped her fingers. "Hello? Pregnant girlfriend having a crisis here."

"Sorry, babe," I said. "So…what's up?"

"Besides my weight, my blood pressure, and my anxiety level? Not much," Bella snapped.

"I said I'm sorry," I reminded her softly. She blew out a breath and hunched over, hugging her knees.

"I know, and I'm sorry too," she said in a quiet voice. Then she looked up at me like I'd kicked her puppy. "But when I went to get dressed this morning, nothing fit. Like literally nothing…_fit_."

"What?"

Bella stood up and for the first time I got a good look at Baby C's bump. Holy. Shit. I gaped at her and she nodded. "See what I mean?"

"What the fuck happened?' I stared at the now prominent bulge of her tummy. No more looking bloated (shit, forget I even _thought_ that!), Bella now looked full on pregnant. Overnight. "Baby, that's like…whoa."

She sank down on her bed with a wail. "I know! I can't go to school like this!"

"Bella, you can't _not_ go to school," I said. "Remember, we both graduate high school and then you go to college while I'm in the Army and then I go to college and in four or five years we have it all?" 

She rolled her eyes at me like I was stupid. "Well obviously I'm not going to really skip school, you idiot!" She surged to her feet. "But look at me! What the hell am I supposed to do with _this_?" And she grabbed her belly. "Look!"

I _was_ looking. Hard. I hadn't really been sure how I'd feel when Bella started really looking pregnant. The tiny little belly had been cute, of course, but seeing the beach balls that some of the women at the doctor's office were smuggling in their shirts had been a little intimidating. I mean, how the hell was something that size going to fit inside of Bella?

Even more importantly, how the fuck was it going to get _out_?

I couldn't even think about that right now. Nope. I'd think about that when the time came. Preferably from a place right by her head where I couldn't actually see what the hell was going on down there.

"Well, obviously you're going to have to get some of those pregnant lady clothes," I said with what I thought was admirable logic. "You'll look cute."

"Oh yeah, because those are_ soooo_ sexy."

"Do you need to eat something?" I asked.

Her eyes narrowed. "So you think that if you throw food at me that I'll just shut up like a good little girl even though I'm about to go to school naked because not one fucking thing in my wardrobe fits me?"

Uh oh, dangerous ground. And she said naked. My dick liked that, the fucker.

I decided not to answer that since anything I said could and would be held against me in a court of pregnant woman law. Instead, I went over to her dresser and picked out a pair of black yoga pants. I handed them to her.

"Thanks," she muttered. "But none of my tee-shirts fit either."

I thought about that for a moment and then remembered that I'd worn a button up shirt with a grey tee underneath. I quickly removed my button up and then the tee-shirt, which I handed to Bella. She tugged it over her belly with a little grin as I put my other shirt back on and buttoned it up.

"There," I said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "You look absolutely beautiful."

She looked in her mirror and turned sideways. "Yep, still look pregnant," she said.

I stepped behind her and wrapped my arms around, my hands cradling Baby C. "Still look beautiful," I whispered.


	25. Chapter 25: Flutterings and Sonograms

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 25: Flutterings and Sonograms**

**Bella's POV**

Okay, the whole belly popping thing threw me for a loop. Who knew? I went to bed that night just looking a little "fluffy" (or bloated as Edward made the mistake of saying) and I woke up the next morning and KA BOOM! I was pregnant.

_Any_ eighteen year old girl would have had a melt down. Luckily, Edward was able to "talk me down." Poor baby, I know that sometimes he must have felt like a hostage negotiator or something, talking me through whatever little crisis I was having on any given day. But it worked, and I went to school that day wearing his shirt and yoga pants. It might not have been particularly fashionable, but it did the job.

My mom offered to take me shopping for maternity clothes but I refused. I don't know why, since it only made sense. But I just couldn't face all those cutesy clothes. Those were for grown-up women who didn't freak out when their baby bump quadrupled in size overnight.

Edward brought me over a stack of his tee-shirts in a variety of colors and I scrounged around my closet for some more yoga pants. That was as much of a concession to my changing body as I was willing to make. My mother thought I was being silly but I didn't care.

Besides, I kind of liked wearing Edward's shirts. It made me feel cared for, like I was taking him with me everywhere. Of course, I was taking his_ kid_ with me everywhere, so I guess it was safe to say I had a piece of him wherever I went.

Then one day I was sitting in the lunchroom scarfing down my lunch (and part of Edward's too) when I felt this weird fluttering in my belly. Like I had gas, except it didn't feel quite like that. It felt almost like a bubble had popped inside of me. It was a gentle sensation, just barely there. I stopped eating and just…well, sort of listened, except I was listening for a feeling. I didn't know how else to explain it to Edward later.

I waited.

And waited.

And then there it was again.

Holy. Shit.

That fluttering was Baby C. He was in there moving around, making himself at home inside of me. I took Edward's hand and pressed it to the giant lump of my belly. "I felt him move," I whispered.

Edward got all excited and pressed his hand a little harder, but even when I felt bubble-popping sensation again, he couldn't feel anything. Still, he got this goofy smile on his face and kept his hand there, just like he could feel everything I felt.

Baby C was alive and well.

**Edward's POV**

March turned into April and Bella was officially more than halfway through the pregnancy. Getting through those first few days after Baby C popped was a little difficult. Lauren tried to start some shit, but between Bella's pregnancy hormones and…well, Bella's pregnancy hormones, Mallory soon got the message that anyone who fucked with Bella and Baby C was risking a slow and painful death.

Honestly, there were times when Bella scared _me_, and I was pretty sure she _loved_ me. During one weekend workout, I told Sgt. Mann that we ought to just send over a bunch of pregnant women because they don't mess. They'd end that war in about two weeks. He laughed but then he warned me to _never_ say anything like that to Bella. He was serious.

On the up side, Bella was completely over the barfing. She still downed the Tabasco sauce by what seemed to be the gallon, but otherwise her eating habits appeared to have calmed down. Well, except for the fact that she could eat more than Emmett now. And she had a problem with burping. It happened all the time. It was kind of cute, but it embarrassed the fuck out of her so I couldn't laugh. I was afraid she'd beat me to death. Seriously.

When Bella first felt the baby move, well that was a pretty big day. I hadn't felt anything but knowing she could feel our baby moving around inside of her was a pretty big deal. From what I'd read, Bella was now getting to the point of her pregnancy where I would be able to feel the baby moving too. Any day now. I put my hands on her belly all the time, hoping to surprise the kid. I talked to her belly, but only when it was just the two – or should I say _three_ – of us. Honestly, it felt pretty silly, but Bella told me that they can hear when they're inside there, so I did it. As long as no one else heard me I didn't mind so much.

I was pretty excited today though. Bella was twenty two weeks pregnant and we were on our way to the doctor. The doc had said that we'd have a sonogram today, which meant we'd actually get to_ see_ our baby. And, if Baby C would cooperate, we might even get to find out if we'd have a Carson or a Cassidy baking in there.

Bella kept insisting it was a boy. I was pretty sure it was a girl. I figured that would only make sense, because I knew I'd be overprotective as shit of a girl especially. And God was probably trying to teach me a lesson. What better way to make me sorry for fucking another man's daughter than to give me one of my own?

Bella only laughed when I told her why I was so sure we were having a girl. We'll see who gets the last laugh after that sonogram thing.

Our mothers had wanted to go with us to the doctor, but Bella and I both wanted it to be just us. We knew they were disappointed, but Bella and I were really trying to get a feel for this being parents thing together. Yeah, we needed a lot from our parents still, but I was doing everything in my power to minimize what they had to do for us. So, we were heading to Pt. Angeles on our own, with promises to both sets of grandparents to bring sonogram pictures home.

Bella had been drinking water for the past hour, starting in school, and she was starting to squirm. Unfortunately, I couldn't even offer to stop and let her pee. The doc told her that she had to have a full bladder for the sonogram. "Pretty much anything over an ounce is a full bladder now," Bella muttered. For now, she was doing okay, though I was really hoping that we wouldn't hit a traffic jam (unlikely given our location) or hit a bump in the road (much _more_ likely given our location).

As I drove, I looked over and saw Bella staring out the window with a frown. "Nervous?" I asked, reaching for her hand.

She shrugged, and started nibbling on her lower lip. Yeah, she was nervous. "Maybe," she finally said.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked.

There was a long moment of silence. Then Bella took a deep breath. "It's just that, in an hour or so we'll probably know if we're having a son or a daughter." I could tell there was more so I just shut up. She looked at me. "And that makes it so much more…real, you know?"

I nodded. I did know. I had been thinking the same thing that morning. Then she grimaced and squirmed around on the seat again. "Almost there," I said, trying to soothe her. She rolled her eyes and pressed her legs together.

"I feel like I'm going to pee my pants," she announced bluntly.

Even though I felt like a dick, I really hoped she wouldn't because that would mean my car seat has piss on it. I loved her, but…

"Don't worry," she teased. "I'm not going to pee on your leather."

I shrugged, embarrassed that she knew me so well. My dad had already told me that he and my mom wanted me to take the car when we moved. It was a three year old Toyota Camry, nothing fancy, but it would get us from Point A to Point B. They had bought it used for me last year. I had had no idea that it would become a family car so soon, but that was life.

I pulled into the parking garage and helped Bella out of the car. She was moving a bit stiffly, trying to keep her legs pressed together and all. I sort of chuckled and she gave me the stink eye. "How about you drink a gallon of water and don't pee until tomorrow, Mr. Cullen?"

Oh shit.

"Sorry, babe," I muttered quickly. "Let's go get pictures of Baby C." Divert, distract.

Bella smiled. Whew! Crisis averted. "Okay," she said, gently rubbing her belly.

The technician at the doctor's office must have been used to cranky pregnant women with full bladders because she called us right in. Bella pushed down her yoga pants and pulled up my tee-shirt and the technician removed the gel stuff from the warmer and squirted some of it on Bella's belly.

Then she was passing the wand looking thing over the bump and an image started flickering to life on the screen. At first, it just looked like static. The technician started pointing out all this stuff, but in all honesty, it didn't look like anything recognizable to _me_. I didn't want to seem like a douche, so I kept nodding like I was seeing exactly what I was supposed to see.

With a little smile, the tech flicked another button and the perspective changed.

Holy. Fuck.

It was a profile, just as perfect and human as could be. A baby's face, a little nose, a forehead, a tiny chin, and a thumb stuck in the mouth. What. The. Fuck?

"The baby…is it sucking a thumb?" I finally asked.

The tech nodded. "Yes, it's quite common for the fetus to suck on their thumb." She pressed a button and I heard a little click. In just a moment a piece of paper slid out of a slot. She handed it Bella. "Here's your first picture of your baby."

We both looked at it and sure enough, there was Baby C, sucking a thumb just like a real little person. I felt my heart expand inside my chest, like my body was too fucking small to hold it.

While I dealt with whatever that was, the sonogram continued on like I wasn't having some sort of epiphany or shit.

Then the tech checked out Baby C's heart and lungs (perfectly normal was her call) and then she showed us Baby C's feet and legs and the umbilical cord. "Let's see, your baby is about twenty centimeters long, which is exactly what we'd expect to see at this point." She looked around some more. "Weight is about fifteen ounces."

"Feels bigger," Bella observed and the technician laughed.

"I'm sure it does," she said. "But yeah, everything looks great and right on schedule." After a moment, the technician turned to us and asked, "Do you want to know the baby's sex?"

"Can you tell?" Bella asked eagerly. I was eager myself but trying to play it cool. I had a feeling that I was failing miserably.

Nodding, the technician stared at the screen. "I've got a perfect shot," she said.

I stared at the screen, trying hard to see what she saw. Epic fail. Bella looked at me and I shrugged. "Might as well," I said, like I was fine either way. Fuck yes I wanted to know. We had discussed this. Why was Bella getting all coy now?

"I don't know…" Bella murmured.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I snapped and Bella laughed. She had been yanking my chain and I had fallen for it. I rolled my eyes at her. "Yeah, we wanna know," I said.

The tech smiled and she pointed to a space between Baby C's legs. "See that?" she asked.

I looked. Bella looked. We looked at each other – clueless. "No," I finally admitted.

"Well, look closely," she said and she pointed directly to a spot on the screen. "Right…here…"

I looked. I looked harder. And then I saw it.

Holy Fuck. What was scary was that it was almost recognizable and suddenly I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. Between what I _could_ see and what I couldn't, I knew.

"It's a girl," I said.

The tech nodded. "Congratulations, you have a daughter."

I swear I almost passed the fuck out.

Bella spoke first. "That's great, but I really,_ really_ have to pee now."


	26. Chapter 26: Meant to Be

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 26: Meant to Be**

**Bella's POV**

As soon as I emptied my bladder (oh sweet relief!) I started to take in the news we had just been given. A daughter. A little girl. Somehow, it seemed so right for Edward to have a daughter. I knew he would have loved a little boy just as much, but I could more easily picture him with a little girl. I hoped she would look just like him with big green eyes and bouncing auburn curls. I definitely didn't want her to get stuck with boring old brown eyes and hair. She'd hate me forever once she figured out she could have looked like _Edward_.

I took a moment to calm down. I looked into the mirror. "You have a daughter," I told myself. I just looked back at me, eyes wide and face too pale. I was nothing special and being pregnant certainly hadn't done anything to enhance my appeal. I was still trying to figure out what Edward saw in me – especially now. Maybe he was just too decent a guy to dump me now that I was carrying his child. Maybe, as Lauren had hinted in the hallway yesterday, I had just done a very good job of trapping a very nice guy I didn't deserve.

There was a knock on the door. "Bella? Babe? Are you all right in there?" It was Edward and he was concerned. Of course he was. He was perfect. And I was anti-perfect.

"Yeah," I muttered. "Be right out." I wiped at my face, surprised to find tears there. When had I started crying? I hated these stupid hormones. They had me crying and laughing and back to crying in thirty seconds. Just one more thing that Edward had to put up with by climbing on my crazy train. I sighed and straightened my shoulders, determined to put on a good face.

Honestly, I was happy to find out that the baby was healthy. Having a daughter was just a bonus; of course, having a son would have been a bonus too. Healthy was all I had cared about, and it seemed we had been given that too. For two stupid teenagers, things were going far more easily than we deserved. Maybe that was why I kept expecting the other shoe to drop. I kept expecting Edward to wake up one day and realize he should be running far and fast in the other direction.

My mom had, miracle of miracles, actually given me some decent advice last night. She had told me that unexplained and vague feelings of anxiety were common in pregnancy, as were nightmares. While I was comforted that some of my more bizarre dreams had an explanation, I was also somewhat pissed off that Mom had, thus far, only counseled me on the more negative aspects of pregnancy.

What I really needed to hear her say things like: no, the pain of labor is not the worst pain you'll ever feel; yes, you can get your body back after you have a baby; yes, I think that you have the potential to be a good mother one day. But no, instead she told me that I'd be channeling Freddy Krueger for several months. Thanks, Mom, I love you too.

There was another light tap on the door. I was worrying Edward. I was a bad girlfriend. I was sure to be a sucky wife, and my skills as a mother were going to be an epic fail.

I wasn't haven't a very good day, news of a daughter aside.

I opened the door and forced a smile on my face. Edward looked at me through narrowed eyes, probably sensing that my smile wasn't genuine. However, I knew he wasn't going to call me on it front of the tech. Because he was perfect.

The rest of the doctor's appointment went smoothly and fast. Before I knew it I had been weighed (my weight gain was right on schedule as horrendous as it was), my blood pressure taken (in the healthy range), and they had given me some literature on the birthing suites in the hospital where I would deliver. I opened it up and took one look at the "birthing" bed, all decked out with super fancy stirrups and surrounded by tons of scary looking medical equipment and snapped it shut, feeling queasy for the first time in weeks.

Edward paid more attention than I did, proving yet again that he was going to be a better father than I was a mother. I slouched as I sat on the examining table, grateful I hadn't been forced to endure a pelvic exam this visit. I was really tired of strange hands being up my cooter.

Before I knew it, we were back in the car and on our way home. Edward was mostly quiet, especially after I kept giving him one syllable answers to his questions. About twenty minutes from Forks, he sighed and pulled off to the side of the road and turned off the car.

"What's the matter, Bella?" he asked, unbuckling his seatbelt and then undoing mine before embracing me. "Talk to me. You're scaring me. I don't know what you're thinking."

I buried my face in his chest, indulging in a full on attack of self-pity. I sighed and shook my head. "I'm a bad person," I confessed. "I'm a terrible girlfriend, I'm going to make you an even worse wife, and our kid will probably grow up to hate me and need therapy for the rest of her life to deal with her Mommy Issues."

Edward chuckled and squeezed me close. "Wow, you really _were _thinking hard over there."

I looked up at him and surprise, surprise, the waterworks started. I wiped my tears away; pissed off that once more even my own emotions didn't seem to be under my control. My body was growing in different directions, doing things I never thought it would do and to top it all off, I couldn't even _feel_ what I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel happy and relieved right now, but I couldn't. Instead I was miserable.

"Baby?" Edward's voice was soft and sweet, as if he knew he had to be gentle with me right now or I'd break. I realized that I did feel fragile right now, as if I might shatter at the slightest touch. "Seriously…I need you to talk to me."

"I just told you," I muttered. "I'm a horrible, horrible person and I've trapped you by getting knocked up and you're just too good and decent to-"

His lips over mine shut off the flow of words. "Hey," he said when he pulled back. "Enough of that bullshit." His tone was firm enough to make my eyes widen. He sounded…angry.

He nodded at me. "Yeah, I'm pissed." How did he _do _that? "I'm pissed because you're making it sound like I don't know my own mind and that shit pisses me off, Bella."

"But-"

He shook his head. "No, you've had_ your_ say, now let me have mine. Okay?"

I nodded wordlessly, surprised at this new side of Edward. I swallowed hard and waited for him to speak.

"All right, first things first. You are not a horrible person. You're sweet and smart and sexy, and I love you. I couldn't love someone who was a horrible person so _that_ shit stops now." He lifted my chin with his hand and stared at me. "Got it?"

I nodded. "Got it," I answered in a small voice.

"All right then, as for the girlfriend part…" He grinned. "I'll admit that you're a tad bossy and you've stolen almost every tee-shirt I own, but in the big scheme of things I'm guessing I can put up with that since I'm not perfect myself." He smirked at me. "I mean, I'm pretty damned close, don't get me wrong, but I'm not quite there yet. So that shit stops too."

I rolled my eyes at him, but the emotional roller coaster was heading toward happy again.

"Now as for the wife thing," Edward sighed and shook his head. "I think we should just admit up front that neither of us has a fucking_ clue_ what it means to be married, so we'll both be figuring that shit out as we go. We'll fuck it up, I'm sure, on a daily basis. We'll fight and argue and I'll storm out and you'll pout and slam doors and then two hours later we'll be having make-up sex, so I guess I can live with that too."

I grinned. "Unless I make you sleep on the couch," I threatened.

"Nope," he replied. "I'm not sleeping anywhere but in our bed. You can cling to your side if you want, but there's no fucking way I'm going to sleep on a couch. You can take that shit to the bank."

"Noted," I replied.

He grunted and nodded. "Okay, just so we're clear."

"We're clear."

"That leaves the parenting issue," he continued. "Once again, we both know we don't _know_ jack shit. But at least we know we're ignorant. That's half the battle from what I understand. And we've got four good parents behind us – yes, even your mother," he insisted when I started to roll my eyes again. 'They'll keep us from making any _big_ mistakes. At this point, I'll settle for not screwing up so bad that I hurt our baby or do something else that causes permanent damage – mental or physical. If we can keep the kid healthy and happy for a year, maybe I'll start to relax a bit."

I laughed because his expression was so earnest. He really _was_ worried about taking care of a baby. And here I'd thought he was so confident. That scared me, because I was anything but confident of my abilities to parent. Both of us couldn't panic. He had to be strong. Because he was perfect. Me, on the other hand, I could wallow all I wanted.

Edward pulled me close again, moving his lips over mine. "Baby, don't shut me out. Please. I need to know what you're thinking, good or bad. This is going to be hard enough, but if we stop talking to each other, it's going to be fucking impossible." He cradled my face in his hands. "You know that right?"

I nodded and sniffed. "Edward, honestly, do you feel…trapped?"

"Because you got pregnant?" he asked. Well, duh. "No, Bella. Didn't we talk about getting married before we ever found out that Baby C was on the way?"

I nodded.

"Well okay then that should tell you that I always wanted to marry you." He shrugged. "Yeah, Baby C stepped up the timetable a bit."

"Just a little," I grumbled and he laughed.

"But honestly, once I got used to the idea, I realized that maybe it was just…meant to be, you know?"

"Meant to be?"

He rubbed his hands over his face and grimaced. "I know this sounds like total bullshit, but honestly, I think maybe there's a reason it's happening now instead of later. I don't know what that reason is, but Bella, I really feel that it's true. For whatever reason, we were meant to have this little girl – and to have her _now_. As illogical and bizarre as that sounds, I just know I'm right."

"That makes no sense, you know that right?"

He smiled slightly. "Yeah, believe me, I know. But that doesn't make it wrong." He leaned in close and breathed softly into my ear. I shivered. "Bella, I love you, and I love Cassidy." I felt my breath catch. It was the first time either of us had actually called her by name. Our baby was real and her name was Cassidy. Edward's words had made her real. "And I think that if we work hard enough and have enough faith in each other, we just might see this thing through…together."

"Together," I breathed. "Edward, I'm really scared."

"I am too," he admitted. "But that's part of being a couple, admitting when we're scared."

"You sound like you're thirty," I accused.

Edward leaned back against the back of the headrest. "Sometimes I _feel_ like I'm thirty Bella, but I wouldn't trade you or Cassidy for anything or anyone."

I smiled and buckled my seatbelt. "Let's go tell the grandparents we've got a daughter," I said.

Edward chuckled as he put on his seatbelt and started the car. "Your dad is going to love that."

"Why?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "What better way to teach me how protective a father is of a daughter than for me to have one myself?"

I gaped at him and then found myself laughing. "Oh my God!" I looked at him. "What if she comes to _us_ in eighteen years and tells us _she's_ pregnant?"

Edward's lips thinned. "I'll kill the mother fucker. Simple."


	27. Chapter 27: Don't Go Breaking My Heart

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 27: Don't Go Breaking My Heart**

_**Edward's POV**_

We decided to tell Bella's parents we were having a girl first, since we'd sort of given my mom a heads up about the whole Baby C news. Fair was fair, and besides I didn't want to listen to Renee bitch. They were both home from work by then and when I pulled up into the driveway, Bella took a deep breath and reached for my hand. "Are you nervous?" I asked in surprise.

She nodded wordlessly.

I had to laugh. "Bella, this is nothing compared to telling them that you were pregnant. You know that right?"

"My brain knows it," she said quietly. "My stomach isn't convinced."

"Butterflies?' I guessed.

"Pterodactyls," she corrected. "Big, hungry, pissed off pterodactyls having a race in there."

I tried very hard not to laugh at that, but Bella really did have a way with words. I leaned over and kissed her. "Let's see if we can't get those pterodactyls to leave you alone." I squeezed her hand and got out of the car, running around to her side to open her door. It had taken me six months to get her used to that little courtesy and I didn't want her to backslide.

When she got out of the car, she stopped for a moment and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Will you tell them?" she whispered against my chest.

"Of course, baby," I told her. "But why are you so worried about telling them it's a girl?" I tilted her face up toward me, pressing a gentle kiss on her lips. "Talk to me."

Her lashes swept down and hid her brown eyes from my gaze. "I don't know," she finally said when it became apparent I wasn't moving until she gave me some insight on her sudden case of nerves.

"Just say it," I urged. "You always make me nervous when you get like this."

A smile flashed on her face. "I make Edward Cullen nervous?" She seemed pleased by that, though I had no clue why. I think women just liked to keep males off balance.

"Yeah, you do," I said. "Constantly, perpetually…you twist me up in knots, Bella Swan and you know it. So don't torture me any more and just fucking talk to me, damn it."

She arched one brow at me and I swallowed hard. The last thing I needed was a pissed off pregnant girlfriend just as I was about to walk into the lion's den…er, her parents' house.

"Bella, please," I whispered in my best 'I know I'm an idiot but I love you' voice.

She hugged me close and nestled her face against my neck. Her breath tickled. "It just makes it more…_real_," she finally said, and then she placed an almost not there kiss against my neck. She leaned back. "Does that make sense?"

I nodded, cradling her face in my hands. "Yeah, baby, it makes sense. We've gone from it just being a bump in your clothes to a Cassidy Cullen." I smiled at the expression on her face. Priceless. "So yeah, I get that." I kissed her again. "But it's still nothing to get nervous about. They're probably going to be very excited." She gave me a dubious look. "And I would bet you that your dad will give me no end of shit about it being a girl."

Bella rolled her eyes and nodded; she still nervous I could tell. The only cure for that would be to get it over with so I pulled her toward the house. Her footsteps were remarkably reluctant. I just opened the door and walked in.

"We're back!" I called out since Bella didn't seem inclined to say anything. And I had promised her that I would be the one sharing the news. Charlie appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. He looked at his daughter's baby bump and then our hands clasped together. He gave one long-suffering sigh and then pasted a smile on his face. Charlie tried, he really did. I had to give him credit for that. I wouldn't imagine it would be an easy thing to look at the fucker who impregnated your high school aged daughter.

That brought to mind thoughts of the baby growing inside Bella – my own daughter. If I was in Charlie's shoes, I was pretty sure that I would be hiding a body right about now and not standing there politely waiting for news.

Renee came up behind Charlie and took his hand. Things had been a bit strained between them for a bit, but it looked like things were starting to get back to normal. Would this news help or hurt that process? Oh well, no time like the present and all that shit.

"We had a sonogram and the baby is perfectly healthy," I said first. Both of them gave us a quick, relieved smile and took a deep breath. I glanced at Bella, who was chewing on that bottom lip. It was all red and irritated and I wanted to kiss it better.

"Well, come on," Charlie finally said. "You're killing us here."

I grinned at him and shook my head, getting myself ready for the shit storm that I knew was headed my way. "And well…" I took a deep breath. "We'rehavingagirl," I finally said in a rush.

Renee blinked for a moment and then gave a little cry that sounded, miracle of miracles, genuinely happy. She rushed forward and sort of ripped Bella's hand from mine and hugged her daughter close. Bella's face was as stunned as mine must have been, but she hugged her mom right back. The two of them started crying and I was at a total fucking loss what to do.

Charlie watched the little scene for a moment and then came to stand closer to me while Bella and her mom began saying stuff to each other, too soft and low for me to hear, but which seemed pretty fucking important by the expressions on their faces. It looked like fences were being mended. Apparently, Cassidy was already a miracle worker.

"So…a girl, huh?" Charlie asked, a smug smile on his face.

I glanced at him and nodded. "Yes sir, a baby girl."

"A daughter, huh?" Charlie's smile grew wider. _Yeah, a girl usually meant a daughter._

"Yes sir," I said again. "We're having a daughter."

Charlie clapped me on the back and shook his head. "Get ready, son."

"For what?"

"For everything," he said. "For having your heart live outside your body for the rest of your life. Get ready for grey hair and heartburn and worrying about your little girl every minute of the day. Get ready for the urge to kill anyone who hurts her. Get ready to feel like the most precious thing in the world is sleeping in a crib down the hall and the insane urge to check and make sure she's still breathing about every five minutes. Just…get ready, son."

If that was supposed to make me feel better, Charlie Swan had failed miserably.

If it was supposed to scare the shit out of me, then…mission accomplished.

** ~RFL~**

Next stop was my parents' house. My mom was sort of hovering in the living room so I knew she had been watching for us. She had understood why we wanted to tell Bella's parents first but that didn't mean she liked it. I imagined it had taken every ounce of self control she possessed not to call Renee and demand to know if we were having a boy or a girl. Maybe my dad had tied her up or something to stop her. Or done something else to distract her. _Must. Not. Go. There._

When Bella and I walked in the door, my mother was practically vibrating with excitement. I wanted to roll my eyes at her, but I kind of felt the same way. My dad walked up and put his arm around Mom, and I saw Rosalie hovering in the background. I was a little surprised to see her since she had pretty much tried to ignore all things Baby C related.

"Well, the baby's fine," I started and all three of them smiled. Even Rose. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I turned to Bella and smiled. "And we're having a girl."

Mom clapped her hands like she was five years old and had been offered a trip to Disney. Dad smiled big and came forward to clap me on the back in congratulations. Very manly and father/son and all that. Then he hugged me close and leaned in to whisper, "I'll bet Charlie Swan had a field day with that news."

_You have no idea, Dad_.

Rose came forward and hugged Bella tentatively, along with my mother, who wasn't so hesitant. I was very pleased to see Rosalie softening up a bit. I mean, this was her niece we were talking about. That had to count for something, didn't it?

"Oh Bella," Mom was saying. "I'm so very happy. A granddaughter!" She tugged on my Dad's arm like he hadn't heard the news the same as she had. "We're having a granddaughter, Carlisle."

Dad gave my mom an indulgent smile. "I heard," he said quietly.

Mom hugged Dad close. Oh jeez. Like I needed to see this shit.

He tipped my mom's face up and planted one on her right there. I closed my eyes and tried to keep the contents of my stomach_ in_ my stomach. _Delete. Please God, delete_.

"A girl, huh?" Rose asked, her expression remarkably similar to Charlie's. Those two had more in common than was apparent at first glance. I decided to keep my eye on the two of them; they'd be up to no good if they ever joined forces. "That should be…interesting."

"Yeah, well," I said with my usual eloquence. "Don't get any ideas about doing wild stuff with her when she's with you, Aunt Rosalie."

A funny look came over Rose's face and for just a moment, I saw something sweet and maternal there. Then, just like that, Rose was back. "I'll do whatever I want with my niece, thank you very much."

Bella punched me. "Yeah, Rose will be a wonderful aunt."

I was outnumbered.

Dad winked at me and I knew how he felt when Mom and Rosalie teamed up against him. There was no fighting the inevitable, I guess.

"Have you picked a name?" Mom asked.

I looked at Bella and our expressions must have given us away. "Well?" Mom pushed.

I shrugged at Bella and she just smiled. "We picked Cassidy for a girl," I finally answered. "Uh, we haven't decided on a middle name yet and Bella gets to do those honors."

"I love it," Mom said.

"Good choice," Dad agreed.

"It doesn't suck," Rose added, which was high praise indeed.

"Thanks," I said dryly.

Rose just ginned at me.

"Well I think this calls for a little celebration," Mom said. "How about I order some pizza?"

Bella's stomach growled at that point and everyone laughed, even Bella.

The pizza soon arrived and as we ate, everyone gave suggestions for middle names. "I think Cassidy Rose sounds just perfect," Rosalie told me with a wink.

"We'll keep that under advisement," I told her, rolling my eyes. As if.

"What about Cassidy Marie," Mom suggested. "That would carry on Bella's middle and her mother's middle name."

I wouldn't mind the Bella part, but Renee too? Ugh. However, Bella looked like she was considering it so I just shut my mouth. My dad gave me a look that let me know that was the wise move.

"Or you can go totally outside the family," Dad said. "Just pick a name you both like, just as you did with Cassidy."

Bella shrugged. "I dunno," she mumbled around a bite of pizza. "We'll see. We've still got a while."

Mom reached over and patted Bella's hand. "You're already more than halfway through the pregnancy, darling. You don't have as long as you think."

Bella swallowed hard and her eyes got huge. I had a feeling my expression matched hers. Suddenly I wasn't so hungry anymore. Bella must have felt the same way because she put her pizza down and pushed her plate away. "I need some air," she muttered.

I needed air too. Desperately. My tee-shirt collar was suddenly very, very tight. Who the hell designed these things anyway? It was practically strangling me. I picked up our plates on the way out and dumped them in the sink. I would apologize to Mom later, but right now I needed fresh air. I needed Bella.

We got to the back porch and we both slowed down. Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was shaky. Mine was too, now that I was paying attention. I looked down and wasn't surprised to see my hands trembling too.

This was all just getting too fucking real.

"I am_ so_ not ready for this," Bella whispered.

"Yeah, well, that doesn't really matter," I answered just as quietly. "Because ready or not, Cassidy's coming."

She turned to me and I saw the tears on her cheeks. I had lost count of how many times she had cried today. I wondered if she ever just got really, really tired of crying. I knew she couldn't control it; she had told me that flat out. But I wondered if it bugged her as much as it would me.

I pulled her into my arms and took a deep breath. "It _is_ okay, Bella," I said, hoping that I really believed that myself. "It'll _be_ okay. Five…ten years from now, we'll look back on this year and laugh."

"Right," she muttered, sounding skeptical.

"We will," I assured her. We would, right? Time would give us perspective and we'd be though the worst of it by then. God, I hoped we'd be through the worst of it by then.

"Why are you with me?" Bella suddenly asked, wiping her tears away angrily. "I just need to know, Edward."

Back to that old tune, were we? I was getting a little tired of it. I had reassured her in every way I knew, but we still kept coming back to _this_. Then something my father had said a few weeks ago came back to me.

"Listen to what Bella says, but also to what she isn't saying," he had advised.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"A young woman in Bella's position is very vulnerable," Dad had continued. "It's only natural that she feel…insecure, both in her parenting abilities and in her hold on you. After all, you two have been sort of plunged into something much more serious and real than most of your peers will experience for years yet. So when she tells you something, look beyond the surface meaning of her words. Look deeper; try to figure out what is really prompting her words. You're going to have to try and read her mind, son. It's a skill you'll hone as a married man, believe me."

I hadn't really understood what he was saying. But I was trying. And I was learning.

"Bella?" She kept her eyes lowered. "Bella?" I said more forcefully. She looked up at me. "I'll keep saying this and saying this until the day you believe it. And then I'll _keep_ saying it. I love you. I love Cassidy. We were meant to be. It's not neat or pretty or even convenient, but there you go. That's the way it is." I hugged her tightly. "And if you think I'd join the Army for just anybody, and cut this fuck awesome hair of mine, you have another thing coming."

Bella laughed and wiped her snot on my shirt. Again. Ah well, crisis averted. For now.

"Better?" I asked.

She nodded, still keeping her face in my chest. "Sorry," she mumbled. "These damned hormones keep me insane."

"I know, baby, I know." I didn't really _know_, of course, but I could try to understand. "You know what would_ really_ make _me_ feel better?" I asked.

"What?"

"Not letting Cassidy date until she's thirty…or even better, forty." Then I frowned. "Nope, not good enough. Let's say she can't date until I'm senile and don't know the difference. Yeah, _that_ would make me feel better if you promised me that."

Bella groaned and shook her head. "You think dating is bad," she teased. "But I hope that one day she comes home with someone just like you."

Was she trying to give me a heart attack?

_Please, Cassidy. Don't do that to me. Just…don't. I'm begging you_.

And that was the first time I begged my daughter not to break my heart. I had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't be the last.


	28. Chapter 28: Cruel Intentions

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 28: Cruel Intentions**

_**Bella's POV**_

The sick look on Edward's face when we talked about Cassidy dating might have been funny. In fact, it probably would have been hilarious if I wasn't feeling bloated and barfy and all together overwhelmed. We were over halfway through the pregnancy! It had snuck up on me. How had that happened?

I wasn't ready for all of this shit.

I realized, truly and deeply in my gut, for the first time that Edward's days at home were numbered too. The date he would leave for the Army had always been sort of…in the future. It was some time set in a distant future that didn't really have any bearing on me and my now.

We were already in April, closing in fast on May. Then it would be the beginning of June and we would graduate. I'd waddle across that small stage and get that piece of paper that would enable me to get a job as a waitress or any other no-skill job in the service industry. If I was lucky I might qualify for a job answering telephones, not that anyone would hire a teenager with a huge baby belly and ready to pop.

Then it would be July and we'd be on the baby watch. Cassidy was due in mid-August. An end-of-July birthday wouldn't be beyond the realm of possibility. I had checked out the birthstones and I was kind of rooting for a birthday on July 31 – enough to give her the ruby birthstone and yet not early enough for it to cause problems. Yeah, it was shallow, but she'd be stuck with that lime green birthstone for the rest of her life. If we had planned this thing at all, I would have planned better than that. Honestly.

So April was halfway over and I knew that I would wake up practically tomorrow and it would be May. The rest of the summer would pass in a blur between graduation and getting ready for the baby, not to mention trying to fit a wedding in there. No matter how small they were, weddings tended to take _some_ planning. I would have been happy with a trip to City Hall, but I had a feeling that Edward wanted something a little more formal. Nothing fancy, but he'd probably like at least family and friends there. I could do that.

But then the summer, even as busy and packed with stuff as it was, would end. And it would be September. And on September 18, Edward was leaving me. Leaving us. He would be leaving me and our newborn baby to go to Missouri (of all places!) and he'd be in the Army. His life wouldn't be his to control anymore.

Was I unselfish enough to let him do what I knew he wanted and needed to do? I'd be an eighteen year old mom with a newborn baby. We wouldn't see him until his Christmas leave, which would last two weeks. Then we wouldn't see him again until February, when he would graduate. Cassidy and I would be here in Forks. Edward would be in Missouri. His parents had asked me to stay with them after Edward left, but I hadn't made any decision yet. I knew that I would want and need the support some of someone else, and honestly I though I'd be more comfortable around Edward's parents. And his father was a doctor so he'd know if anything was wrong with Cassidy. The poor kid wouldn't have to rely on my questionable parenting skills.

Then Edward would graduate and be a full-fledged soldier. What then?

Sgt. Mann had told us to be prepared for him to deploy any time after graduation. In fact, some soldiers pretty much packed up their shit from graduation and were on a plane to Iraq a few days later. That could happen. Or it could be a year before he was deployed. We wouldn't know until they got close to actually graduating and there was no way to predict how it would go. Even if he didn't get deployed immediately, we had no idea in hell where we would be living. At all. We could be stationed in Alaska or Hawaii or anyplace in between. We couldn't even be sure we'd be in the United States.

It was a lot to take in and it just months away.

A year from now… Well, a year from now Edward could be in a war zone. Or he could be –

I had to stop that kind of thinking. Edward was right. Cassidy was meant to be, for whatever reason, and I didn't think she would have been brought into existence only to have her father taken away from her so soon. I _couldn't_ think that. Edward was doing everything possible, more than anyone could have expected, to ensure we had a good life. I would hold fast to my faith. I would onto _Edward's_ faith, which was stronger than my own.

I sighed and decided that I needed a distraction. I went back inside where Edward was waiting for me. I slipped my hand into his. "Can we go see a movie or something?" I asked quietly.

He turned to me, his expression concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't want to sit around at home tonight," I told him with a shrug. If I sat around, I would think. If I let myself start thinking too much, I would get upset.

"Sure, okay," he said, brushing his knuckles over my cheek. The worry didn't leave his eyes. "Let me tell my folks." He tilted his head and studied me carefully. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I smiled, but I knew my effort fell short of the mark. "Yeah, I'm just tired."

"Then maybe you should-"

"Honestly, Edward, I just want to go to a damned movie," I muttered.

"Okay, okay," he said, holding his hands up in surrender. "I got the message. Let me tell my parents. You call yours and tell them the plan."

Telling my mother I was going out with Edward was easier now. Honestly, he had already knocked me up. There wasn't too much more trouble we could get into. As long as I wasn't home too late or too grumpy in the morning, they wouldn't give me much crap. I needed to get out. I needed to get away. Now.

A moment later, Edward was there with my jacket, helping me put it on even though it really didn't fit me anymore. I couldn't button it around my belly. Luckily, being pregnant kept me warmer than usual so it wasn't a big deal. I had put off buying a bigger one since I hoped the weather would be warming up soon. I could always steal one of Edward's if I had to. It was an option anyway.

We drove to the theater in silence. We went to the one in Pt. Angeles, which would put us home a bit late but I didn't care. And it wasn't as if Forks had a lot of other options to offer. If I went home I would just lie in my bed and worry. I needed distraction and I needed it now. Luckily, Edward had jus learned to go with it.

He bought our tickets and asked if I wanted anything from the concession stand. I did. Of course. Duh. He grinned and ordered my pregnancy usual – popcorn with tons of butter, Sno-Caps, and Swedish fish. He usually just turned away when I mixed them together. I told him not to judge something he wasn't willing to try. Big baby. It was really good. Fine, let him make gagging noises, that just meant more for me.

We were waiting to go inside the theater when two older women sat down on the bench seat by the concession stand. I saw them look at Edward. _Yes, he's gorgeous. And yes he's mine. I'll cut a bitch, I swear I will_. Then their eyes flickered to me. They looked at my face. _Yes, we're teenagers out on a date. Why don't you just go home and watch NCIS?_ And then their eyes went down to my now very obvious baby belly.

And that's when their faces turned sour and they sniffed, practically shoving their noses up in the air. One of them turned to the other and said in a voice meant to carry, "I just can't believe these teenagers now days. Getting knocked up and no doubt expecting the government to pay for them to live on welfare." Her companion looked at me with a nasty little smirk.

Did she not realize I was already a hormonal teenager and when you add the pregnancy chemicals to the mix I was about as irrational as a human being could get and still be out among society? Did they not see their own danger? I pursed my lips and turned toward Edward, determined to ignore them. Because if I didn't I was going to lose my temper.

I honestly thought that Edward hadn't heard them because he hadn't said anything, but when I looked up at his face I could tell that he had heard every word. "Don't worry about it, babe," I whispered. "They're just nasty old bitches who are so unhappy that they want to spread the misery."

Edward's hand tightened around mine.

"I'll bet she doesn't even know who the father is," Bitty #2 stage whispered.

Hello? Could they not see Mr. Gorgeous standing here beside me? Did they think boys like Edward had a "take pity on the local pregnant girl" charity and just took her out to a movie for shits and giggles? _Yeah, nothing is sexier than a girl big and pregnant with another dude's baby, ladies._

Edward's jaw was bulging, his teeth clenching and I had to flex my hand to remind him that hey, holding my hand there, lover boy.

"It's nice to know where our hard earned tax dollars are going," Bitty #1 observed, louder than her friend.

"If my Janie came home pregnant, I would disown her, I swear I would," Bitty #2 offered.

Edward looked at me, gave me a very sweet kiss on the lips and let go of my hand. Before I could breathe, he was making his way toward Bitty #1 and #2. Uh oh. Shit was going down. Edward didn't lose his temper often, but when he did, it was a sight to see.

"Excuse me?" He said softly.

The women looked up; they had been too engrossed in their discussion about the decay of morals among teenagers today that they had missed him stalking over. He did the whole stalking thing pretty damned well and it made the muscles of his ass flex in a really sexy way. Of course, the way his jeans fit over that ass didn't hurt either. Not at all. I might have to ask him to stalk away from me more often. Just saying.

"Uh yes?" Bitty #1 asked, swallowing hard and barely able to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry, but you're really upsetting my fiancée over there, and as you can see, she's in a rather…how should I say this…_delicate_ condition?" He smiled charmingly but I could imagine the ice in those green eyes. No one did cold disdain like Edward Cullen. Maybe it came from having money, or being better looking than a Greek god. Who knows? But whatever "it" was, he had it in spades.

"So…" Another flash of the pearly whites and I wanted to kiss him. "I would greatly appreciate it if you could keep your rather vicious thoughts to yourself." He looked at me and smiled. "You see, we're trying to enjoy our last few months together before our daughter is born and I report for Basic Training with the Army." He nodded like some sort of diplomat or some prissy politician. "Because we're not expecting _anyone_ to support our child except us." A wide, predatory smile that would have made me nervous if he wasn't on my side. "Have a good evening."

With that, he turned on his heel, practically marching like a soldier already and took my hand. I shoved a handful of my lovely concoction into my mouth and stared at him in admiration while the women opened and closed their mouths like dying fishes.

Okay, consider me distracted.

I grinned at him. "You know what?"

"What?" He looked worried, like I'd be upset at the women or his reaction.

"I don't want to see a movie anymore," I told him. "Let's go somewhere and make out because that was really hot." I made sure the women could hear me.

Edward grinned and even took a bit of my popcorn/Sno-Caps/Swedish fish delight. He didn't even puke, though his throat worked for a few seconds like it might come back up.

"Excellent plan, babe," he agreed. He put his arm around me and kissed me – long and hard and with lots of visible tongue just for the hell of it. I could hear the old bitties gasping in indignation behind us. "Let's go."

So we did.

_**Author's Note: This incident is based loosely on something that happened to my son and his then-pregnant girlfriend. It isn't just kids that say cruel and thoughtless things. Sadly.**_


	29. Chapter 29: Life Changing Information

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 29: Life Changing Information**

_**Edward's POV**_

School was winding down and pretty much every senior in Forks High had already mentally checked out. April soon turned into May, and on May 11th, Bella was twenty-six weeks into the pregnancy. Fourteen weeks to go if Cassidy arrived on schedule. Which was, according to the books, a very big if. On May 17th, I really felt the baby move for the first time, which _was_ right on schedule , _according to the books_. That was my new motto. "According to the books." That's all I could really go on now. It seemed like everyone had advice or stories to share, but they all contradict each other. So I ended up going to the books. Again.

Feeling Cassidy move was the weirdest thing. I could actually feel a little knee moving under Bella's skin. If it felt odd from the outside, I couldn't imagine what it felt like to have that going on _inside._ It was just one more milestone in a year filled with them. In May, time seemed to pick up speed.

Everyone was going on and on about prom for the most part, but graduation was a hot topic too, at least for the seniors. Prom was coming up in a week and then there was nothing but final exams and graduation to distract them. But while the rest of them were discussing their college plans and if they would be in dorms or renting an apartment, Bella and I had a slightly different set of priorities.

We were talking about things like pediatricians, whether Bella would live on the base I was eventually stationed at or live here in Forks, how we'd handle having one car and two adults and one baby, breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding (not a conversation for the weak of heart, let me tell you), and how we'd handle it if I got deployed right away. Bella usually shut down the conversation when I tried to talk about that. I got why she did it, but I didn't think we were going to make things any easier by refusing to discuss it. I was starting to realize that while my decision to join the Army offered certain positive things to us as a family, there were a lot of negatives too. Mostly the fact that I'd be away from them. But after thinking about everything, my long-term goals and Bella's too, the responsibilities of being a parent, and trying to be a _good_ one, I still felt I had made the best decision for us – given our circumstances.

I knew that both sets of parents would have stepped in and supported us, given us a place to live and provided childcare while we went to school and/or work. But I didn't want to do it that way. I felt like I would be letting someone else support my kid, and since we had created Cassidy, I thought we owed it to her to do the best we could. I still wasn't sure of how it would all work out; I only knew I thought we should try.

There were a lot of unknowns to deal with and we didn't know a hell of a lot to start. I was beginning to understand why it was grown-ups who had babies and not horny teenagers. To top it off, Bella was hitting the cranky stage of pregnancy. The baby bump was starting to become the baby _mountain_ and she wasn't happy about it.

I think the real problem was that the bigger Bella got, the more people stared. Bella's never been one to enjoy being the center of attention. She's kind of shy until she gets to know you. But now it seemed that everywhere she went, especially at school, everyone was looking at her. I was sure she got as tired of that shit as I was, but she'd stopped bitching about it and just sort of ducked her head as she made her way through the halls of Forks High. That bothered the fuck out of me, but every time I tried to talk to her about it, she just shut me down. I was starting to get paranoid.

Had she decided she _didn't_ love me and didn't to marry me?

Every time I tried to talk to her about pretty much anything that wasn't casual, I got one word answers or sighs. I was getting used to it. My father told me to be patient, that all of this was normal. But honestly, nothing _felt_ normal. I wanted normal. I really wanted normal for just a day. I wanted to forget about enlisting and birthing rooms and formula vs. breast milk. I wanted to feel like I was eighteen again with nothing to worry about but whether I'd look like an ass dancing at prom. Prom. It seemed like it was a good way to feel normal again, even if it was just for a night. It sounded like a good idea at the time. I swear it did.

So I made the mistake of trying to talk her into going to prom. _Big _mistake. Huge. A misstep of epic proportions.

When I first ventured to actually say the words aloud, Bella stopped walking (more like stomping, which she was doing a lot lately) and whirled around to look at me. She was getting faster the more pregnant she got, which I still hadn't figured out. Maybe sheer rage was fueling her steps. She glared at me, poked me in the chest and then crossed her arms over her absolutely ginormous boobs.

"What the fuck, Edward?" That was the other thing. The more pregnant she got, the more she cursed. She actually dropped the "F" bomb in front of her mother the other day and didn't even twitch when Renee started lecturing her. I had started hearing the song "Bad Boys" from the COPS show every time I got near Bella now. I could see her in some cop's face, giving him shit for stopping her. I volunteered to drive her anywhere she needed to go just so she didn't get in one of her father's deputies faces.

"I uh…" Well, it had _seemed_ like a really good idea at the time. Honestly, it had. "I thought you might want to have a traditional high school experience?" I no longer made statements. I asked questions. Statements were dangerous and came back and bit me in the ass. "You know, something normal for once?"

She grabbed her belly and gave it a good shake. _Sorry, Cassidy. Daddy has pissed Mommy off again_. _Hold on tight._ "Does this look like a traditional high school experience? Does this look _normal_ to you?" I made the mistake of laughing. Oh shit.

Bella's eyes narrowed and she stomped toward me like Godzilla approaching Tokyo. "What the fuck are you laughing at, Cullen?"

It was never good when she addressed me by my last name. If she worked her way up to all three then I was well and truly fucked.

"Nothing," I assured her hastily. She continued to glare at me, clearly suspicious. "Uh, if you don't want to go to prom, then that's cool by me." Never argue with a pregnant woman, especially one getting near the last trimester. They really should teach you that shit, because it's _way_ more useful than calculus. Talk about real life skills. Someone should talk to the school board about it.

"What would possess you to even consider the idea?" she snapped.

And because I'm a douche, I snapped back. "Because I just thought that maybe, just maybe, you'd want to do something fun for once instead of sitting around like big lumps and watching NCIS marathons like we're fifty fucking years old."

I could practically hear the alarms going off. _Danger! Danger! Torpedoes ahead!_

"Well _you_ don't have to sit around like a lump, Edward Anthony Cullen," she hissed. Oh shit. All three names. That was never good. "Why don't you just run along and play with your friends or something? Maybe they can do something fun and _normal_ so you don't feel like you're locked into a prison cell or something with your fat, ugly, very pregnant and _old_ girlfriend!"

With that, she huffed and turned, stomping off in double time. It took me a minute to realize how epically I had fucked up. Yeah, she was being unreasonable and grouchy and pissy. But honestly, if anyone had a right to those things then it was Bella. _I_ still fit in my clothes. I didn't have something moving around inside of me like I was a human ball pit. And I wasn't getting all the slanted looks and nasty whispers that Bella was subjected to – as unfair as that was since I was equally responsible.

And I had just snapped at her, let frustration and fear make me angry.

I watched her marching away and I saw how everyone in the hallways moved out of her way. No one wanted to fuck with Bella right now. I swear I saw Charlie duck out of her sight the other night when we walked in the door. And he's got a _gun_. Even Lauren was laying low and spewing her poison out of Bella's reach. I figured that I better let Bella cool off before I made my approach and commenced with the groveling.

I sighed and put my books in my locker. This whole pregnancy thing was way more complicated than the books made it out to be. _Way _more. Again, that might have been useful information. Way better than the birth control talk.

** ~RFL~**

After our next class, I found Bella and groveled. I was getting good at it. Practice really does make perfect. I took her home and she said she wanted a nap. I wasn't going to argue the point. Hell, if she told me she thought I'd look better painted blue, I'd have just asked what shade she preferred. It wasn't that she was acting so horrible, just that she was acting so_ unlike_ Bella. I wasn't sure if it was the pregnancy hormones, being a teenaged mother, worrying about the future, or some whacked out combination of all three, but the last month had been difficult. For all of us.

I was starting to feel like a very shitty boyfriend/fiancé/expectant father because I couldn't figure out the hell to _fix_ it. And I wanted to fix it. I wanted to make it all better and there was just no fucking way to do that.

I had curled up beside her in her little bed, wishing we were in my room because I had a big bed and let's face it, Bella was taking up more room than she used to. I put my hand on her belly and Cassidy started dancing around. I had noticed that the quieter Bella was, the more rowdy Cassidy got. Bella was snoring so I figured I might as well have a little chat with Cassidy.

I let my hands rest there on Mt. Cassidy and soon I felt the kicks and nudges I had come to expect. She was squirming away in there, practically doing summersaults from the feel of things. I wasn't sure how Bella slept through it all, but she did.

I closed my eyes and felt our daughter moving around in there. Cassidy definitely didn't need a nap. I tried to imagine what she'd look like when she was born and came up with nothing more than a miniature Bella, which would be great. I fell asleep thinking about a little Bella stomping away from me and telling me I was a horrible Daddy.

I was starting to think I'd never get this shit figured out.

** ~RFL~**

We didn't go to prom. I didn't have the balls to bring it up again and since Bella had forgiven me, there was no way I was going to open that can of worms again. Alice and Angela and Rose took lots of pictures of their prom night and Bella seemed genuinely glad to look through them, asking them questions about the evening and laughing with them. I couldn't tell if she was sad to have missed her senior prom or not. Sometimes it was hard to read Bella.

But things were moving along pretty smoothly. We both did well on our final exams, which was a miracle in itself. Bella's doctor's appointments had gone well and Cassidy was growing right on schedule, at least according to the books. And the doctor. I still liked her, but the books were there at two in the morning when I started freaking out about something. I couldn't very well call the doctor to ask if colic was more likely if the baby was bottle-fed, especially not at two in the morning. It scared me that I knew about that stuff now. Even more, it scared me that I cared. Bella still hadn't decided if she wanted to breastfeed or bottle feed and I just nodded and agreed with whatever she said when she discussed it. Nothing I said was going to be right, and besides, they were her boobs. She just let me play with them sometimes.

The last week of May our graduation gowns arrived. Bright yellow. Yeah, who the hell looks good in that color? Mine fit, I guess, though honestly it was sort of like a bag with sleeves. What's not to fit? Bella's fit, but one look at herself in the mirror and she started bawling.

"I look like a fucking squash!" She was tugging at the ugly yellow folds.

"No, baby," I assured her. "We all look bad in them."

I still had mine on; we had decided to try them on together when we got to my house. She looked at me and scowled. "No, you look like a statue of a Greek god who just got draped in ugly. I look like a fucking squash."

I tried to cheer her up by putting the cap on her head. She glanced in the mirror. "Not helping," she muttered.

I pulled her into my arms, arching my body away from Mt. Cassidy. I kissed her. "It's just for an hour," I reminded her. "And then we'll be free of Forks High. Forever."

She sighed and I felt her relax into me. Between us, Cassidy decided to get in on the act. Thump. Bump. Wriggle.

"Edward?" Bella asked in a soft voice.

"Yeah, babe?"

"I'm sorry I've been such a bitch," she whispered.

"You haven't been a bitch," I said, only partly lying. If she _had_ been a bitch, she had good reason.

She grunted and buried her face in my chest. "Yes, I have, but I do love you. And I love our baby. I'm just a little…overwhelmed right now."

"It's okay."

She looked up at me. Then she stood on her toes and kissed me, her tongue playing with mine, teasing. "Bella…" I warned. I was still an eighteen year old guy with a dick that didn't know the meaning of the words, "not the right time or place."

"Yeah?" she whispered.

"Keep that up, and you aren't going to be wearing anything, much less that hideous yellow thing."

"That's the plan," she said, licking up my neck. For about three milliseconds, I considered saying no. But we were alone and Bella was in the mood. I didn't need any more than that.

I smiled as I unzipped the yellow ugliness. She unzipped mine and they both fell to the floor with the slither of polyester. She pushed me back until my knees hit the bed and then she pushed me onto the bed. It had been sixteen days since we did it. Sixteen days and…I glanced at the clock. Sixteen days and thirty seven minutes. Or something like that. It was hard to do math when all of the blood was pulsing in my dick.

"Take off your clothes," she ordered. Pregnant Bella might be cranky Bella, but when she got horny, she was learning how to take charge and give orders. It was a turn on, I don't mind admitting.

Quickly, I complied. I was scared to take too long for a lot of reasons.

Bella whipped her shirt (_my_ shirt) up over her head and threw it on the floor. She shimmied of the yoga pants and stood there in some purple cotton panties that were shoved below Mt. Cassidy.

In the sixteen days since we'd done it, her belly had gotten even bigger. Missionary position was definitely out. I studied her, trying to figure out the best way to go about this. Last time we'd done it lying on our sides. Looking at her boobs, though, gave me an idea.

"Get on top," I said as I scooted back. "I want to watch you." What I really wanted to watch was those big boobs bouncing around. They weren't for keeps, but I planned on enjoying them while I could.

She looked uncertain for a moment, her hands going to shield the belly. I shook my head. "Nope," I told her. "No hiding. It's beautiful."

Bella rolled her eyes at me but climbed onto the bed. "Panties?" I reminded her.

Those slid off her legs and hit the floor too. My dick throbbed as she scooted up my body. Then she sat down on me, placing her wet heat right where I wanted it. I grabbed her hips and circled my own. She threw her head back and moaned.

Then she lifted up a bit and I slid inside. She felt softer now, still snug, but softer somehow. I felt her tighten up around me on purpose. That was new and I hissed. She grinned down at me. "Like that?" she asked, like she didn't already know the answer.

"Fuck yeah," I grunted, lifting my hips and holding hers steady.

So she did it again. She was fucking killing me. I watched her boobs swaying and bouncing with her motions, up and down. They were big and round and her nipples were darker. The blue veins made her skin look creamy and lickable. I thrust into her again.

It was slow and steady. I'd push up into her and she'd tighten up around me, then she'd let me go and I would glide out. In. Squeeze. Out. In. Squeeze. Out.

It didn't take long and Bella could tell I was getting close. She moved one of my hands from her hip and placed it over her clit. "Touch me," she gasped. "Please…just a little…"

I circled her clit with my thumb, pressing gently. Her body had changed with the pregnancy, and my touches had had to change too. I didn't mind learning.

"Oh fuck!" she panted and then she really tightened down on me and that was all it took. I exploded inside of her, my hands locked down on her hips, holding her right where I needed her.

After a while, I took a deep breath and lowered us to the bed. I pulled her close and kissed her. "What the fuck was that? That squeezing thing?" I liked it. I liked it a lot.

She giggled. "It's in the books if you want to look it up, you dork." She thought my fascination with the books was funny.

"What _is_ it though?" I felt like a man who had discovered the Holy Grail. This shit had the potential to change lives.

"It's a Kegel exercise," she whispered, blushing like crazy.

"It's an exercise…for your pussy?" This was a shocking and thrilling thought.

"Uh yeah, I guess," she muttered, hiding her face again. "It's to get everything down there back in shape, you know…uh…after the baby comes out…"

"Oh." Oh. I got it. There were exercises to get a pussy back in shape after having a baby. And it felt really good when she practiced. Like, _really_ good. Fuck me.

I was right. This shit _could_ change lives.


	30. Chapter 30: I Just Wanted to See a Movie

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 30: I Just Wanted to See a Movie!**

_**Edward's POV**_

We graduated on June 8, which just happened to be the day Bella's pregnancy hit thirty weeks. We were ten weeks away from D-Day. As I was handed my diploma by Mrs. DiGorgio, I breathed a sigh of relief. Graduation had gone from being a big deal, a rite of passage, into something I just wanted to be over. It felt like Bella and I were perched on the edge of some huge ass cliff, just waiting for "real" life to begin. For our classmates, that day was farther away than they really knew. They thought their real lives would start the moment they hit that college campus. Of course, most of them would still be mooching off Mom and Dad, flashing a credit card that had Daddy's name on it, and calling home when they needed cash. Their biggest responsibility would be to get to class on time and not barf on their roommate after a drunken night of underage drinking. When autumn arrived, Bella and I would be parents and I'd be freezing my ass off in Missouri.

It was our own fault; I knew that, so I wasn't really bitching. I was just taking in the new reality of our lives.

Bella and I finally decided that we'd get married the week after graduation. We didn't want to make more of a spectacle of ourselves, so we had informed our parents that we preferred a small, civil ceremony at my house, followed by a catered lunch. It was going to be quiet and low-key and, above all, _private_. We didn't need any gawkers trying to get a look at the belly that seemed to get bigger every time Bella woke up.

Renee gave in the most graciously, which was a welcome surprise. My mother, however, decided to sulk for a bit. I finally convinced her that this was what we really wanted and she gave in, though there was still some grumbling. My dad knew a judge who agreed to come to our house and do the deed. I made the mistake of phrasing it that to Bella and found myself locked out of my own room for ten minutes. After much groveling and begging and pleading and apology, I was allowed back in, though she wouldn't let me sit on the bed beside her for another twenty minutes. Pregnant Bella could hold a grudge.

It was quickly decided that Bella would just move in with me after the ceremony. There would be no reason for her not to – we'd be husband and wife. That meant I'd have an all access pass to Bella's body, which I thought was a move in the right direction. Bella just rolled her eyes when I mentioned it. I decided to quit talking since it was only getting me in trouble anyway.

The day of our wedding was rainy. What a shocker. Bella had said that her father was having a hard time dealing with the fact that she would be leaving home forever. He had gotten upset a few times as they packed up her belongings, which were currently stacked in my room – _our_ room – and the garage. As Bella said, there was no use unpacking all of it since the Army would be moving us in after the New Year anyway.

Bella wore a simple, off white dress that tried to hide Mt. Cassidy. The only problem was that there was no hiding Mt. Cassidy at that point. I wore a suit and a tie. I hated ties. They choked and strangled. Bella told me I looked handsome, which made me feel better but didn't make me like ties.

I slipped the Claddagh ring on her hand, moving it so that it indicated she was married. She had a simple gold band for me. I heard her mother cry when Bella repeated her vows. Alice cried too. Angela kept hugging Alice and rubbing her arms. Rose was strangely happy, and even that big lug Emmett avoided making any off color jokes. It was a wedding day miracle. There were lots of pictures. Bella hated that. There were lots of hugs. I hated _that_.

My parents welcomed Bella to the family and to our home.

We ate lunch and then I could see that Bella was getting tired. My parents told me to take her up to bed and then they wanted to speak to me. That was never good.

I told Bella to take a nap and went back downstairs to face the music.

By that time, the party had wound down to a halt and only Charlie and Renee were there, though they were pulling on some jackets and getting ready to leave. Renee gave me a kiss and called me son. "Take good care of her, Edward," she added, just before she started to cry again. She ran out the door, leaving me to stare at Charlie and wonder if he was going to punch me.

Charlie shoved his hands in his pockets and then pulled them out again to tug at his tie. He hated the fuckers as much as I did. "Well…" he murmured. "I guess this is it."

"Yes, sir."

He chewed at his lip for a minute. "I guess I don't need to tell you that you need to take good care of them – both of them, do I?"

"No, sir." 

He nodded. "I'm guessing that you're getting a little glimpse into what it feels like to have a daughter."

I nodded. "A little bit, sir."

"It's hell," he said with a grimace. "And it's great." He shrugged. "It's both."

I almost understood what he was saying, so I nodded again. "Yes, sir, it's both." I held out my hand for him to shake. "I promise you, sir, I'll take good care of them."

Charlie shook my hand. "I know you will." Then he pulled me in for a very brief hug and a slap on my back that took my breath away. He grunted at me and turned on his heel and was gone.

"Edward?" It was my mother and I turned to face her.

"Yeah?"

She smiled slightly. "Your father and I are going into Pt. Angeles," she explained. "We've gotten a hotel for the night." She reached into the drawer of the foyer table and pulled out an envelope. "We'll be back tomorrow at lunch. I know you and Bella didn't want to spend any money on a honeymoon and I understand that." She looked at my dad and he nodded. "But we thought you two would enjoy a little time away, so we've made reservations for you at a lovely little hotel near Seattle." I didn't know what to say so I just held out my hand. "You'll have three nights there, and we've arranged for your meals and stuff to be covered."

"Wow…thanks, Mom…Dad." I nodded at my father.

My mother gave me a hard hug. "I know that things seem difficult right now, Edward. But I have faith in you both. Remember that we're always here, okay?"

Then she was picking up the small overnight bag I hadn't seen by the door. My dad hugged me too.

"I'm proud of you, son," he mumbled, and then they were gone.

I climbed up the stairs and crawled into bed behind Bella, putting my hands on Cassidy. She was moving around a lot, squirming and wriggling around inside of Bella so much that I was shocked it didn't wake up Bella. Pretty soon, I was falling asleep too.

** ~RFL~**

We took our time driving to the hotel the next day. We must have both been exhausted the night before, since neither one of us had woken up until two in the morning. It had been the insistent growling of Bella's stomach that did the job. For a minute, I thought maybe Cassidy was talking to us. Bella didn't appreciate the humor in that remark.

She waddled downstairs in front of me and we raided the kitchen. Luckily, there were lots of leftovers and Bella was kind of cute as she stuffed her face. Then she gave a loud belch, looked briefly embarrassed, and proceeded to eat some more. Cassidy was going to weigh fifteen pounds at this rate. I decided not to say that.

Bella had been excited when I told her about our "mini-honeymoon." I wasn't sure exactly what we were supposed to do. If we had been a more traditional couple, I was sure that the honeymoon would have been about the sexing. As it was, I didn't know. Bella's sex drive was unpredictable, revving up to NASCAR speeds or playing hide-n-go-seek. I never knew which. It kept me on my toes.

The hotel was nice; the room was cozy and romantic. It even had a small fireplace. I wasn't sure if we'd actually _need_ a fireplace since it was June. Still, Washington weather could be unpredictable. Bella wanted a nap when we got there, and I was feeling kind of lazy myself.

While she slept, I thought about things. When we had checked in, it had been a very weird experience to say "Mr. and Mrs. Cullen" and have it refer to me and Bella. Of course, we'd been married just over twenty four hours so I supposed it was normal to need some time to adjust to the change.

I had about three months before I reported to Ft. Leonard Wood. The closer it got, the more nervous I became. Ah hell, nervous wasn't the right word. It was more like sheer terror. I had watched some videos on You Tube, trying to get an idea of what I was in for when I got there. Nothing I saw reassured me. In fact, it all scared the shit out of me. The gas chamber certainly didn't look like fun. And I had no burning desire to run until I puked. That was all part of it, I knew.

Still, there had been videos that had made me feel…I wasn't sure, but I was thinking proud was the word I was looking for. Some of the guys on there were actually serving in Iraq, and it wasn't the party line for the government that got to me. It was the way they talked about watching out for each other. There was something there, some experience those guys shared that other people would never understand.

I wanted to be a part of that, aside from my desire to support my family. It was strange and frightening, and hadn't been in my plan at all, but there it was.

At last, I fell asleep, and dreamt about a desert that didn't have a name. A hand clapped me on the back. "Cullen," the voice said. And we were friends; I could tell. "Be careful, buddy." I knew he had my back. He was watching out for me, just like I was watching out for him.

**~RFL~**

_**Bella's POV**_

The month after the wedding was strange. It was weird getting used to living in Edward's house. Edward's_ parents'_ house at that. Should I cook? What chores should I do? Should Edward and I kiss in front of his parents? Should I knock when I went to see my mom and dad? Did I just walk into Edward's house now since it was my house and I had a key? Did I take the car whenever I wanted? We had a million things to figure out and we didn't even know it until we realized we had to figure it out _right then_.

Then there was the fact that I had started to feel like a time bomb. I was at thirty five weeks. We had, if the due date was right, about five weeks to go. I wasn't sure I would last. I already felt like I was about to pop. My mom started calling me twice a day to see how I was feeling. Alice came by to visit at least four times a week and she kept eyeing my belly like it was going to explode. It felt like it would. I could feel Cassidy getting more and more squished inside of me and something had to give. That something were my internal organs. Who needed room for lungs to expand? Apparently not me. And that pesky bladder? Why that could just be smashed into the space a thimble would take up!

Then there was the heartburn.

Holy shit, it woke me up in the middle of the night. I had taken to sleeping propped up in a sitting position with pillows piled behind me. I tossed and turned all night. I was tired and cranky from lack of sleep and so was Edward.

Edward.

If Alice looked at me like a grenade about to go off, Edward made me nervous with all of his twitching and questions. "Are you okay?" "Why did you make a face? Does something hurt?" "Is that normal?" How the hell should I know what was normal and what was not? I was as clueless as he was. And if the man quoted one more baby book to me I was going to shove that book up his adorable ass.

On Friday, Emmett came over to visit Rose. He was sulking. He wanted to go to a special sneak preview of a movie and Rose didn't want to go. So Emmett was pouting.

"Go see the movie by yourself," Rose said.

I took a deep breath and Edward held his.

"Don't want to. I'll look like a loser," Emmett whined.

I shifted. Edward twitched.

"You'll look like a loser because you're at a Batman movie," Rose countered. "Not because you're alone."

Cassidy kicked, poking out my shirt and Edward frowned.

"Take Edward with you." Please. Take Edward with you. Before I kill the father of my child.

"I don't want to leave you," Edward muttered, his eyes still on my belly.

"I won't be alone. Rose will be with me."

"Still…"

I sighed. "Please? It will do you good to get out." And me. It will do _me_ good.

He paused. "Are you sure?" God yes, I'm sure.

"Yes."

He looked at Emmett, who clapped his hands. "Well all right!" He gave Rose a kiss. "Let's get going."

Yes, get going.

I didn't breathe a sigh of relief until they were out the door.

"That bad, huh?" Rose guessed.

I rolled my eyes at her. "You have no idea."

"Actually, I think I do," Rose said. "You're not the only one getting baby care books shoved into your face."

I grimaced. "Yeah, sorry about that. He's the anal, type-A, compulsive, poster child these days."

Rose shrugged, as if to say that was nothing new. "Wanna watch a movie?"

_Yes please. Let's do anything that doesn't revolve around me pushing an eight pound human being out of my vagina_. "Yeah." I paused. "Nothing romantic or with babies." The last thing I needed was to see someone else push an eight pound baby out of her vagina. I didn't want to see_ any_ vaginas.

"Got it," Rose agreed. "Gloom and doom it is."

"How about action? The more explosions and the higher the body count the better."

An hour later we were watching Die Hard, which was cinematic gold as far as I was concerned. And it had Snape in it. Gold, I tell you, gold.

About halfway through I had to pee. Again. I asked Rose to pause the movie.

"Again?" she snorted.

I stood up, and I was just about to bitch about not being able to see my feet when I heard a soft pop. I looked at Rose. She looked at me.

"I think I just peed my pants," I announced.

Rose frowned. "I don't think so, Bella." Then we looked at the growing puddle at my feet.

"I think I did."

She shook her head. "Edward's books say that could be your water breaking."

I blinked at her. What?

"Your water," Rose repeated slowly. "I think it just broke."

I looked down at the puddle, felt my squishy pants. Gross. "Well that's just perfect," I muttered.

Rose threw me the cell phone. "You'd better call Edward. He'll have kittens if you don't."

What I wanted to do was go get checked out before I made that call. But Rose was right. Edward might almost _literally_ give birth to baby felines if I did. I sighed. I was done for and I knew it.

I dialed his number. He wouldn't have turned off his phone. "Edward?" I said when he answered. He was already panicking. I could hear it.

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"About to walk into the theater."

"Uh….I think my water just broke."

"I'll be right there!" I heard Emmett's voice when Edward explained what had happened.

"Aw man, I wanted to see this movie!"

Then Edward was back. "Hold on, babe. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay." I hung up the phone.

Should I change? Yeah. Probably. I didn't want to be seen in wet pants. I wondered if I had time to shave my legs since that little chore had been neglected lately. I didn't want to look like a Wookiee when my legs were spread for God and everybody.

"Hey, Rose," I said. "Wanna help me shave my legs?"

Rose, being Rose, didn't hesitate. "Sure. Why not?" 


	31. Chapter 31: Welcome to the World

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 31: Welcome to the World**

_**Edward's POV**_

Never, in the history of Pt. Angeles, has there ever, _ever_ been a traffic jam. Until the last day I wanted there to be one. Emmett honked his horn again. I was clenching my jaw so tight that I was pretty sure my teeth had been reduced to white splinters. With the way my luck had been running, I would probably choke to death on the pieces.

I tried to call Bella again. She still wasn't answering.

I told myself over and over again that she was getting her suitcase together, or perhaps calling her parents, or even brushing her teeth because her water had broken while she was eating Tabasco laden Pringles.

I told myself that but it didn't help. At all.

I pictured her bleeding out on the couch. Having seizures (though why a perfectly healthy pregnant woman would have seizures I wasn't exactly sure) and choking to death on her own tongue. I imagined her labor going so swiftly that she gave birth to Cassidy on the living room floor and they both died from lack of medical attention.

It was pretty safe to say that my imagination had officially run amuck.

Emmett wasn't helping matters. He was trying to call Rose on her cell phone and getting about as much response as I was. What in the hell were those two up to?

To help pass the time, while Emmett tried to negotiate the gridlock of the parking lot (yes, the fucking traffic jam was in a parking lot of all things!), I decided to call my parents.

Dad was calm but cautious. "It's a little early, Edward. So if it really is her membrane that's ruptured, they might want to give her steroids to help mature Cassidy's lungs."

That was enough to send off into another panic. I informed Emmett that I would walk back to Forks if I had to. He locked the door, as if that would keep me inside that damned car if I didn't want to be. The only thing that kept my ass in the seat was that I knew it would be a long walk back to Forks. And I'd probably miss Cassidy's birth.

So instead, I sat there and worried and bitched and moaned until Emmett finally unlocked the door and reached over me to open it. "Go…now…" he said.

I scowled and shut the door but I also shut my mouth. "I can't believe we're stuck in a traffic jam," I muttered.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"What time did Bella call you?"

I looked at my phone. "Uh…seventeen minutes ago."

"So I hardly think this qualifies as a traffic jam," Emmett observed.

"Still…"

Then Emmett told me to shut the hell up. I told him to kiss my ass. We got less polite to each other from there. Then my phone started to ring and I had that sucker answered before the ring tone even finished its first round. "Bella? Where are you? What's going on?"

"Calm down," Bella replied, sounding very calm herself. What the hell?

"Are you in labor? Have you called your parents? Are you okay?"

"I have no idea and yes and yes," Bella answered. Well that was no help at all. "I called the doctor and she definitely wants me to come in."

"Well, of course she does." And if she didn't, we'd be looking for a new doctor.

Bella sighed. "Anyway, I was wondering if it would be easier to just meet there, since the hospital is closer to where you are than here."

I had to think about that. On the one hand, it would get me to the hospital quicker. But it wasn't me I was worried about. Of course, Bella would get there faster too, since she wouldn't be waiting for me to come and get her to take her. That was enough to decide the matter. Except…

"Who'll drive you?"

She laughed. "Rose is here, silly."

"Rose?"

"Yeah, your sister Rosalie," Bella said. "Remember her?"

"She'll drive you?"

"She's already helped me shave my legs, I'm pretty sure she'll drive me to the hospital."

"Put her on the phone."

"Okay, okay…"

A moment later there was my sister. "Hey, Daddy." That threw me for a moment.

"Rose, what's this about you shaving Bella's legs?" Emmett's head snapped around so he could gape at me.

"She wanted her legs baby smooth for the delivery," Rose explained as if it was the most logical thing in the world. "So I helped her. It's kind of awkward for her now, you know."

Well of course I knew. Didn't I? I had volunteered my services more than once only to be shot down. What the hell was up with that?

"Yeah," I said. "Listen, are you sure you're okay with taking her to the hospital?"

"I'm sure, Edward, get your panties out of your ass and meet us there."

And then she hung up on me.

** ~RFL~**

Thirty three minutes later, Emmett and I were parking the car. Well, he parked the car. I ran out of it and made for the nearest hospital entrance. I was pretty sure he'd be able to find me. Bella still hadn't checked in yet and my imagination went into overdrive. Again. I pictured twenty car pile up, babies born on the side of the road, stuff like that. Luckily for everyone, thirty seven minutes later I saw Bella sitting calmly in a wheelchair as the elevator doors opened.

I looked at her. Her hair had been blown dry and arranged up like she did when we went out on a special date sometimes. I knew the whole process took at least thirty minutes. "You took time to do your_ hair_?" I asked disbelief. Bella looked up at Rose and shrugged.

I took her hand and walked with her and they took us to a birthing room. As I got a good look at all of the medical equipment I started to feel woozy. Where was my father? Where were her parents? Why the hell did they think I was qualified to be here?

The nurse told Bella to get undressed and into a gown. She blushed but allowed me to help her. Then the nurse was attaching stuff to Bella's belly and the sound of Cassidy's heartbeat filled the small room. I swallowed hard. I was going to meet my daughter today and I was scared shitless.

Before I could get too worked up, the door opened again and there was Bella's doctor. I had the urge to run to her, throw myself on my knees and hug her legs really tight. I restrained myself. Barely.

"Hello, Bella," Dr. Magnusson said with a gentle smile. "Let's see what's going on here, shall we?"

Yes, let's do that. I vote for that. And let's have the medical help do what they're paid to do – which is to keep expectant fathers calm and relaxed.

Then she was doing some sort of test that reminded me of the litmus paper test from science class and she looked up at Bella, her hand patting Bella's knee. "Well, your membrane has definitely ruptured, so it looks like we're going to have a baby. We'll go ahead and give you some steroids to boost the baby's lung maturity but I think we'll be okay." She smiled reassuringly. I suppressed the need to vomit.

I sat down before my knees gave out.

Holy shit. This really was it. The door opened again and there were my parents. I wanted to cry in gratitude. They would make all of this better. My Mom hugged me and whispered, "Everything'll be all right." Easy for her to say.

Bella looked entirely too calm sitting up in her bed with stuff strapped to her.

Shouldn't she be panicking by now? Like me?

Instead, she just smiled at all of us like this was any ordinary day. Then her smile faded and a frown appeared. Her hands reached down to cradle her belly and she looked at the doctor. "I think I had a contraction!" She sounded excited.

Dr. Magnusson looked at the monitor and nodded. "Yep, it's starting." She approached me. "We'll give Bella a little time to see if she goes into a good labor pattern on her own and to give the steroids a chance to work." She turned to Bella. "We won't use the pitocin unless your contractions don't progress, okay?"

Bella nodded just like she understood exactly what all of that meant. For the first time, I really regretted letting Bella talk me out of taking childbirth classes. She had said it would embarrass her, so I let it go. But reading all of those books wasn't doing me a damned bit of good now. Everything I thought I'd learned was forgotten.

Bella called me over and I sat down, holding her hand. "Relax, Edward," she said. "See? I just had another one. They aren't that bad."

**~RFL~**

Six hours later, I thought my hand was going to fall off. Bella was a hell of a lot stronger than she looked. Her contractions hadn't gotten effective enough and an hour before, Dr. Magnusson had said they needed to start the "pit drip" as she called it. Bella informed us all soon after that that it was Satan's brew.

Since they'd started the medication, she'd gone from smiling and laughing to snarling and snapping- and that was in between contractions. Finally, I turned to my father, whose turn it was to sit with us for a few minutes. The rest of the grandparents were in the waiting room with Rose, Emmett, Alice and Angela. They were tag-teaming us, though I had a feeling Bella's change in demeanor would result in games of the shortest straw with the loser being compelled to come into the birthing room. "Dad? Can't they give her something?"

"Sure," my dad said. "But Bella needs to be the one to say she wants it."

I looked at Bella, who was sweating and cringing as she saw the next one starting up on the machine. She could always tell it was coming just a few seconds before she actually felt it. "Fuck," she muttered and then her hand tightened on mine again.

Maybe they'd give me something for the pain too, while they were at it.

After the contraction, I leaned in close. "Bella, let me ask the doctor to give you something for the pain," I pleaded. I couldn't stand it any more. This was real, and this was scary. Bella was really hurting and it was all my fault.

"Yes, God yes…" Bella agreed. "This sucks. Why do women do this voluntarily?" I couldn't answer her because I wasn't sure either.

Thirty minutes later, she was sighing. "That's better," she murmured. "Every contraction feels better."

I would have kissed the guy who invented epidurals if I could. I settled for kissing Bella instead. After that, labor was much easier. Bella would have a contraction, but she'd only know it because I told her. Even the exams were painless, though Bella did say she could "feel them rummaging around down there." That made me a little nauseous, but I just nodded.

Then – finally – just before ten that night, Dr. Magnusson told us that Bella was ready to push. "Are you sure?" I had to ask.

She smiled and patted my hand. "I've done this before. I'm quite sure, Edward."

Bella nodded and on the next contraction they told her to push. Her face got red, she grunted and groaned…and nothing happened. The same for the next five contractions, then six…then seven. Finally, Dr. Magnusson frowned and patted Bella's leg again. "Bella, we really need you to focus, sweetheart," she said. "The baby really needs to be born soon."

Uh oh. I didn't like the sound of that.

"Is everything all right?" I asked.

"For now…yes," Dr. Magnusson said.

"What's that mean?" I asked, my eyes darting to Bella. She was flopping back exhaustedly on the bed.

The doctor hesitated. "It means that she doesn't like the contractions…the baby… her heart rate goes down a little more than I'm comfortable with during the contractions."

"Is there any danger?" I pressed.

"Not yet," the doctor assured me. "I just want to make sure we don't get to that point. So I'd really like to get this little girl born." Her smile was reassuring, her words were not. She turned back to Bella. "Sweetheart?" Bella opened her eyes and stared. She looked done in. "I'm going to have the nurse hold a warm pack to your bottom, okay? That will help give you a target to push toward. And I'm having them back off on the epidural too, so you might feel more of the contraction."

Bella just moaned and shook her head. "I just want to go home," she cried. "I'm tired…"

"I know, sweetie," Dr. Magnusson soothed. "We'll get this baby out and then you can rest, okay?"

Bella turned away, her lips pressed together. But Dr. Magnusson did exactly as she had said and soon a nurse was holding a warm pack to Bella's… well, her _parts_, as she pushed. I was supporting one of Bella's legs and another nurse was supporting the other. Dr. Magnusson talked Bella through each contraction, telling her how well she was doing.

It was just the staff and me and Bella. We had asked to be alone when Cassidy was born. Finally, after about forty-five minutes and many sharp looks at the monitor to track Cassidy's heart rate, Dr. Magnusson told us it was almost time. "Now Bella, with this next push you're going to start feeling a burning sensation," she warned. She looked at me. "If you want to see your daughter born, you might want to start watching."

Okay. I did want to see her born. Didn't I? I nodded and shifted a little so I could see. Holy. Shit. What I was seeing didn't look at all like Bella's pussy. This looked like something out of an Alien movie. I wasn't sure I'd ever want sex again. Ever. Then she pushed and – fuck.

Something was moving down. Out. Down and out of Bella's body, right through her… Shit.

The room got really hot. I couldn't breathe and then I realized I was holding my breath while Bella pushed. I took a deep breath.

"Push, push, push," the nurse said.

And then the contraction was over and Bella leaned back. Whatever was coming out slid back up a little bit. No! Wrong direction. Come _this_ way, Cassidy.

For the next fifteen minutes, Cassidy's head play peek-a-boo. Two steps forward, one step back and then suddenly –

Pop!

There was her head and it turned so that she was facing me. Her little face was all scrunched up and I wondered what she was thinking. Probably something along the lines of "What the hell?"

Then one shoulder and another and the rest of her slid out so fast that I was almost afraid she'd hit the far wall with all of that momentum. I settled down onto the stool the nurse had pushed under me. Apparently, they're used to wobbly fathers.

She didn't cry right away, but I could see her arms and legs just flailing away. Then there was this outraged shriek and the nurses smiled. Then the doctor was doing something to Bella down there and I didn't want to see that, so I looked at our daughter instead.

A few minutes later, they were bringing her over, so tightly wrapped that she looked more like a burrito than a baby. They put her in Bella's arms and Cassidy blinked up at us.

"Cassidy," Bella murmured, and her voice was something new, something I'd never heard before. It was a mother's voice. Bella's hands shook as she brushed her fingers over Cassidy's dark, fuzzy wet head. Newborn blue eyes tried to focus on us and then gave up. Cassidy yawned, as if wondering what all the fuss was about, and decided to sleep it off.

I reached out to touch her cheek. Holy shit. It was the softest thing I'd ever touched in my life.

"You and your wife have a beautiful daughter," one nurse leaned in to say. I just sort of stood there for a moment.

My _wife_…holding my _daughter._

And suddenly, everything in my heart had to move over to make room.


	32. Chapter 32: Meet the Parents

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 32: Meet the Parents**

I could admit that up until the time they put Cassidy in my arms I was pretty much ready to concede that having a baby was a huge mistake. Not just being a parent, but actually _having _her. Giving birth. Yeah, the books and the movies always make it sound so…well…beautiful and lovely and gentle.

The books and movies were full of shit.

In reality, giving birth was painful and noisy and embarrassing. I'm pretty sure I pooped a little bit while I was pushing her out. I can only hope that Edward didn't notice. He was looking a little wobbly, so hopefully he was too busy trying to stay upright to notice.

I was ready to put his balls in a vice grip and destroy them and then suddenly – there she was.

The moment her body cleared mine, it was like everything felt better. Not great, but _so _much better. I actually felt like I just might live. I didn't notice the placenta being delivered, though I was very aware of the nurse pressing on my stomach. I wanted to call unnecessary roughness but just as I was about to, I heard Cassidy start to wail and she kept it up while they did whatever it was they were doing to torture her.

The sound of her cries was physically painful, like someone was taking my heart and squeezing it too tight. I wanted to rush over there and rescue her. Then they wrapped her up and brought her to me and put her in my arms.

The nurse smiled. "She's a little early but her weight's okay. She's just under six pounds – five pounds 14 ounces." She patted my arm. "Good job. You must have taken good care of yourself."

I couldn't reply because I was too busy trying to get used to the feel of her in my arms. She was so light, _impossibly_ light, and yet at the same time her slight weight felt too significant for her size. How was it feasible that a real, live person could actually be so small? How could she really have all the parts she needed to survive and still fit in the crook of my arm like she did? She didn't look much bigger than a bag of sugar. She was impossibly tiny and perfect. I looked up at Edward and he just had this dazed look on his face. It was even better than the look he'd gotten the first time I'd let him see my boobs or touch my pussy.

This was amazement and love and fear all wrapped up in one expression and it looked like his face couldn't decide which emotion to pick.

He reached out to touch her and something shifted in his face. It was like watching someone become someone else right in front of you. There had been Edward before Cassidy. Now there was Edward After.

"Oh my God," he whispered. "She's really here." For some reason that made me giggle but that made me hurt. I felt her cheeks and her hair and touched her tiny, perfect little lips. She was so amazingly _real_.

"Cassidy," I murmured. "We've waited so long to meet you."

She was unimpressed and decided to take a nap. I had only gotten a glimpse of her eyes and they were grey blue. There was no way of knowing whose eyes she would have just yet. But her hair was dark and thick. She had Edward's chin…I thought. It was hard to tell but I was going to say she did.

The nurse asked if I wanted to try and nurse her and I said okay, but Cassidy wouldn't wake up. It felt really awkward trying to get her to open her mouth and suck on my boob, but I figured we had time to get it all figured out. And if it didn't, that's what bottles were for and I wasn't going to feel guilty. Well, too much.

We finally gave up and let Cassidy sleep it off. I was guessing that getting born was hard work. Cassidy seemed to think so at least.

Edward couldn't keep his hands off of her, touching her head, her cheek, or her little fingers, whatever he could reach. "You did such a great job, Bella," he said.

"Well, without that epidural you might be minus some testicles," I admitted.

Edward shook his head. "That was, without any doubt, the scariest fucking thing I've ever seen."

"You should have seen it from my perspective," I informed him.

"No thanks," he replied fervently. Then we fell silent and just admired our little girl.

"We still don't have a middle name for her," Edward whispered, like he was afraid he was going to wake her up.

"On the way here, I kind of decided," I admitted. I looked at him and shrugged, being careful not to disturb her.

He smiled. "What's that?"

"I want to name her Cassidy Rose," I said. "Honestly, I would have been a basket case if it hadn't been for Rose…and I'm not just talking about her shaving my legs for me, which goes way above and beyond the call of duty as an aunt."

"Whatever you want," he murmured, his hands brushed over her head again. All of that hair was a surprise. For some reason, I had imagined her bald.

"I'm serious, Edward, Rose was my rock," I said. "I would have lost it if she hadn't kept me calm."

"Then Cassidy Rose it is," he agreed. "She's just…wow."

"Yeah, I know." Then I laughed. "Just so you know, I'm never doing this again." I had a feeling it would take me years to forget the pain.

He just shook his head. "Fine by me, let's take this one at a time if you don't mind."

"Sounds perfect."

Then he sighed. "We'd better let them all in or they'll never forgive us."

I laughed and nodded. "Go on and let them in, let's get the invasion over with."

A few moments later, Rose stuck her head in the door and right behind her was Carlisle and then came Esme, and then my mom and dad. All eyes were on the bundle in my arms. Rose's expression was dumbfounded. "Hey Aunt Rosalie," I said for Cassidy.

Rosalie gave a quick smile, but her eyes never wavered from the baby. She came around to stand beside me to get a good look. "Oh wow…she's absolutely…perfect," she murmured.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Pretty perfect."

Rosalie hugged Edward. "Congratulations," she said quietly.

"Yeah, well, Bella did all the work."

"Damned straight," I muttered. Then my mom was hugging me carefully and brushing her hands over Cassidy's hair.

"She's got hair just like yours," Mom said. She looked at Dad. "Doesn't she, Charlie?"

My father grunted and nodded, but I noticed that his eyes were a bit misty. I wanted to tease him about that but I was a little tired. Then I noticed that Edward was shifting from side to side and I realized he hadn't held her yet. I looked at him.

"Do you want to hold your daughter?" I offered.

His whole face lit up and I took that as a yes. I handed him to her and he held her gingerly, his expression somewhere between sheer panic and utter delight. "She's too small," he muttered. "I'll break her." He looked half ready to hand her back and half ready to do battle to keep her. He looked so mixed up and befuddled.

"You won't break her," I assured him, though honestly I felt the same way. She was too fragile to be trusted to us. We didn't know what the hell we were doing.

Esme came and stood beside Edward. "You're doing just fine," she said softly. "You look like a natural."

Edward snorted, unable to take his eyes off Cassidy's face. "I can't believe she's here…"

Carlisle laughed softly. "I can assure that she is."

Edward shook his head. "It's just…I don't know…I never thought I'd feel this way." He looked at my dad. "I want to slay dragons for her and I want to wrap her in cotton and put her away in a tower where nothing can hurt her…ever."

Dad smiled sadly. "Yeah, that about sums it up," he agreed. Then he moved forward too and got his first good look at his granddaughter.

"She's a pretty little thing, that's for sure."

"She looks like Bella," Edward said.

"I hope not," I remarked. "Imagine having a dad like you and looking like me…" I shook my head. "She'll never forgive me. It'll be Billy Joel and Christi Brinkley all over again." Edward snorted at the reminder of my sometime obsession with 70s and 80s music and those who made it.

"Hardly, babe," he said. "Besides, I happen to think you're beautiful."

"Yeah…right…" I felt disgusting.

I yawned, unable to help myself. "We won't stay long," Mom murmured. "You two need to spend some time with Cassidy." It was kind of surprising to hear something like that from my mother.

"Oh, before anyone leaves, we want to announce Cassidy's full name," Edward said and looked at me. I nodded. "Everyone…meet Cassidy Rose." Rosalie's eyes got wide and she put her hand to her mouth for a moment.

"Really?" she asked Edward.

"Really and truly," he said with a grin. "Apparently, you've won the aunt of the year award…what with the shaving of legs and everything."

Rose came over to me and gave me a big hug and then turned her eyes toward Cassidy. "Before I go…can I hold her?" she asked softly.

Edward hesitated a moment and then held out his arms. Slowly and carefully he made the transfer to Rosalie's arms. She seemed like she was holding her breath as she held her niece. "She's really beautiful, Bella." This was a new side to Rose, one that had only been hinted at while I was pregnant. I could see that anyone who picked on Cassidy had better be prepared to face the wrath of Rose – and it would not be a pretty sight.

"Yeah," I agreed. "She is."

Rosalie placed a kiss on Cassidy's forehead and then passed her back to Edward, who took her with a sigh of relief. Every muscle in his body seemed to relax. After hugs and kisses and another round of congratulations, everyone left and it was just me and Edward and Cassidy. Even the nurses just told us they'd check back in every few minutes.

"So…" Edward said as he sat down, still holding our daughter. "This is it."

He was close enough that I could reach out and touch her head. Her hair was soft and springy and warm under the cap. "I can't believe it," I whispered. "She's here…she's ours…she's healthy."

"She's perfect," Edward breathed. "Absolutely perfect." Then he sighed. "And suddenly I have a lot more sympathy for your father." He grimaced. "I'm afraid that I would have killed me."

I laughed and kissed the top of Cassidy's head, warm and fragrant under her silly cap. "Yeah well, don't tell my father that or he'll never let you live it down."

"Not sure I want to," Edward whispered so quietly that I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear it or not. Then I fell asleep to the sound of Edward quietly talking to Cassidy, telling her about the world and how much we loved her.

**~RFL~**

I woke up two minutes later, or maybe it was an hour. I could vaguely recall the nurses checking in frequently and Edward murmuring answers to their questions. In any case, Edward still had Cassidy clutched in his arms. He was singing to her, softly and quietly. She was awake, blinking up at him in adoration. Already a Daddy's girl and only a few hours old, I thought as I watched them.

I had never seen that look in Edward's eyes. I knew he loved me, but what he felt for Cassidy was so different. He looked up at me, embarrassed at being caught singing to her. "Don't stop," I urged him quietly. "I like your voice."

He shrugged. "She was restless, so I…"

"You're doing great," I said. I sat up and he stood up with Cassidy.

"Do you want to hold her?" he offered.

I did. I held out my arms and then her slight, significant, warm and yielding weight was in my arms. I held one of her tiny hands in mine. "Life's never gonna be the same, is it?" I looked at Edward.

"No," he replied. "It's not." Then his eyes met mine. "It'll be better, because she's here. And we'll do our best to be the parents she deserves."

I just wanted to cry. His words were encouraging and beautiful and oh so optimistic. I could only hope that we'd live up to them. Then Cassidy intruded on the moment by filling her diaper – loudly.

"Whoa…" Edward breathed. "Was that her?" He sounded shocked as he looked at me.

"Well it wasn't me, that's for sure," I answered with a smirk.

He stood up and took her from my arms and then placed her in the bassinet, unwrapped her blanket and took a peek inside the diaper. He made a face. "Yeah…that was her." He looked at me again. "It's black and looks like tar."

"Does it stink?" I asked.

Edward shook his head. "Nope," he answered after a moment. "But it's like...sticking to everything." His voice lowered. "Even her little…you know…" He sounded embarrassed.

"Her what?" I couldn't help but tease and he rolled his eyes.

"Her little girl parts," he clarified. "It's everywhere and it's like freaking glue."

"The wipes are in the drawer underneath," I told him.

"You expect me to change this?" He sounded shocked.

"I certainly do."

"But…" He looked at Cassidy. "What if I hurt her…_delicate _areas?"

"You won't," I assured him. "Just wipe front to back."

"From what to what?" He was starting to sound panicked.

"From her…girl parts back toward her butt." I remembered that from one of those baby books that Edward read to me.

"Okay…" he said, sounding unsure of himself. Ten minutes, three muffled curse words, thirteen wipes, and two diapers later, the job was done. After he wrapped her back up, he collapsed into the chair, leaving her in the bassinet for the moment. "Oh. My. God."

"One down, only thousands and thousands to go," I said.

He shook his head. "Don't remind me. Just…don't."


	33. Chapter 33: In the Deep End

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 33: In the Deep End**

_**Edward's POV**_

Two short days later, they told us we were ready to go home. _Excuse me_? Ready to go home? Without professional help? Without supervision? Were they crazy? Bella looked as panicked as I felt. Sure, we had changed some diapers. Bella had even gotten Cassidy to actually nurse, though I was pretty sure by the look on Bella's face that she had been a little freaked out by the experience.

Now, they were sending us home? Just like that? We were kids, for fuck's sake! Just because we had the ability to reproduce didn't mean we had the ability to take care of a kid!

My Dad tried to reassure me. He said things like, "Your mother and I will be there with you." I wondered how they'd feel if I told them they weren't allowed to leave the house for the next two months?

"You'll be fine," was my mother's contribution. Fine as in we'd manage not to hurt Cassidy or fine as in we'd be great parents? I had a feeling it was the first one.

Then Rose piped up with, "How hard could it be?"

Since she hadn't been there for that first diaper, and had no experience with babies, I felt pretty fucking safe in telling Bella that my sister was an idiot.

But no matter how much we protested, our parents were packing up our stuff. All of the flowers went on the cart, Renee packed Bella's and Cassidy's bags. My mother and Renee helped Bella put Cassidy's tiny little body into impossibly tiny clothes – that were still too big for her. I learned something else: babies don't cooperate when you want to get them dressed.

The next thing I knew, Bella was settled into a wheelchair and the nurse was putting Cassidy in her arms and they were forcing us out of the hospital room – and away from the professional staff who had been our lifelines.

My Dad told me that he thought _I_ should drive my new family home. I explained that I wasn't sure that was a good idea. Instead of rescuing me, he clapped me on the back, told me I'd make a fine father but that the time to start was now, and then proceeded to make sure the car seat was buckled into the car correctly. Before I could convince him otherwise, my mother was helping Bella get Cassidy strapped into her car seat and Bella was sliding into the back seat to sit beside her. I was glad she would be there to keep an eye on Cassidy, just in case she started choking or something, but I knew I'd feel lonely all by myself in the front seat. But when Rose offered to ride with us, my father firmly escorted her to their car.

Bella and Cassidy and I were on our own.

I took a deep breath and got into the driver's seat. I took another deep breath and turned the key. I looked back and caught Bella's eyes in the rearview mirror. The expression on her face was not reassuring. I realized that this was the very first time we had been alone with our daughter. Absolutely alone. Without help. Without a fucking grown up in the vicinity. My stomach rolled and my head started spinning.

I was guessing our parents would call this tough love or being responsible or some shit like that. I just called it scary as fuck.

"How's she doing back there?" I asked and Bella's wide eyes shot down to Cassidy.

"Good," she answered with a nod. "Good." Then there was a little whimper from the car seat and Bella's eyes came back my way. "Can we just go?" she asked in a tired voice. "I don't want her to get hungry halfway there."

Remembering Cassidy's cries when she was hungry, and trying to imagine them in the small space of the car, I could only agree.

I drove slower than I've ever driven in my life – even slower than I started driving right after Bella and I began having sex. I mean, who wants to give the father of the girl they're doing it with any more ammunition?

"How are _you_ doing back there?" I asked after a moment when yet another car passed me. They honked their horn and I wondered if it was considered road rage to want to beat them senseless if they woke up Cassidy. Probably.

"I'm good," Bella answered, but she didn't sound good. She sounded exhausted and overwhelmed – and terrified. We couldn't forget terrified. That seemed to be the prominent emotion of the last year or so.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?" She sniffed a little and I wondered if the tears were going to make a repeat performance.

"I love you, you know that right?"

I saw her give a shaky smile in the mirror. "I know."

"It'll be all right," I promised. "_Everyone's_ overwhelmed in the early days," I said more to myself than to her as I concentrated on the road.

"Yeah, I know." Then she leaned her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes.

Our conversation was over.

**~RFL~**

It took us almost twice as long to get home, but we made it. Everyone was lined up in the driveway waiting for us. Charlie was the only one who didn't give me any shit about driving too slow. He nodded approvingly and even clapped me on the back.

Then I was picking up Cassidy's car seat, with her still strapped in, and carrying it into the house. Bella was clearly exhausted, so my mom suggested she take a nap. At first, I thought that meant she was going to take over baby duty, but instead, she picked up the diaper bag and deposited it beside me when I sank down onto the couch.

"You might want to take her out of her car seat and hold her," Mom suggested.

What I wanted to say was, _I might want to leave her the hell alone since she's asleep, Mom._

What I said in reality was, "Okay."

It didn't take long for a few things to become crystal clear to me.

1 – All four parents had apparently decided to take more of a hands-off approach and let us muddle our way through this parenting thing.

2- It was going to be very weird to be a "kid" living at home and a parent to a child at the same time. And

3- I was completely and irrevocably exhausted. Seriously. _Years_ of sleep wouldn't be enough to make up for the deprivation of the last few days.

I leaned back on the couch and settled Cassidy on my chest, where she seemed content to snooze. I decided that I should join her in her nap since I could never be sure when I'd get the chance to shut my eyes again.

What seemed like only a few seconds later, I was woken by the sound of a kitten screeching in my ear and a feeling of wet warmth soaking my shirt. I sat up, barely remembering in time to grab Cassidy so that she didn't go tumbling.

Not even home a full day and already I was fucking up. Just wonderful.

I was about to yell for help, from anybody, when Mom appeared in the doorway. "Oh dear," she said, looking at my shirt. "I think Cassidy's diaper leaked."

"No shit," I snapped and then closed my mouth and my eyes at the same time. _Way to be a dick, Cullen_.

The whole time, Cassidy is screaming and flailing her arms. I knew exactly how she felt.

"Mom..._please_? I don't have the first clue about what I'm doing." I was fine with begging.

Mom's expression softened and she came forward, her hands already reaching for Cassidy. "You go change," she ordered quietly. "I'll find her pacifier. Then ask Bella if she wants me to bring the baby up to her to nurse or she wants to come downstairs. I'll take care of Cassidy's diaper and fresh clothes." When I hesitated, she jerked her head toward the doorway. "Go."

I went.

I cheated and took a two minute shower because piss in your belly button isn't really a fun thing, even if it your daughter's urine. Then I shrugged on some sweatpants (who was I going to impress anyway?) and a tee-shirt. I approached the bed and saw Bella curled up like she was five years old. I really didn't want to wake her, but even from here I could hear Cassidy's wails.

Maybe we should rethink the breastfeeding thing. Yes, in theory it was nature's perfect food. But in reality, I was faced with the prospect of waking up my exhausted wife. I would just have to figure out how to broach the subject. Carefully would be the word of the day.

I touched Bella's shoulder and she mumbled, "Mom...just a few more minutes."

"Bella?" I whispered.

She snuggled more deeply under the covers.

"Bella, babe?" I shook her shoulder. "Cassidy's hungry and I don't exactly have the equipment to take care of that."

I watched as Bella's shoulders hunched for a second and then she sat up, brushing back her wild woman hair. She had deep purple smudges under her eyes and she was pale as fuck. Even her lips looked colorless. "Bella?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting up," she said.

"Wait, do you want me to bring her to you?" I asked.

Bella's eyes closed in what I was pretty sure was relief. "Yeah, that would be...that would better."

With that I was sprinting down the stairs and taking a clean but unhappy baby from my mother. I gave my mother a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, and after Cassidy's done, I want to talk to you about something."

I didn't wait around for her response, but walked carefully up the stairs to take Cassidy to Bella. I arranged pillows and helped Bella scoot back so that she could lean against the headboard. I sat down beside her as she nursed the baby. It was a time-consuming process. Bella didn't yet feel comfortable with it and Cassidy wasn't in the mood to cooperate.

Finally, Cassidy latched on and began sucking loudly. Bella flinched and jumped every now and then and finally I couldn't stand it anymore. Even though I hadn't yet had a chance to talk to my mother, I needed to say a few things. Bella might get pissed off, but in her current condition, I could easily outrun her.

"Bella," I said as I played with her hair. "I know we talked about you nursing Cassidy. And I agree with the reasons, but you know...I don't think there's anything wrong with bottle-feeding her. It would let me help out more, and I'd really like to."

What I didn't want to bring up then was the fact that in two months, I would be leaving them both for nineteen weeks. Even the thought of that was enough for me to feel like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.

Bella paused a moment, her fingers plucking at the blanket covering Cassidy. "You don't think...you don't think I'm not a good mom if it's just not for me?"

I wanted to laugh but I knew that was really the wrong response. Instead, I pulled her close and snuggled up with my girls. "Babe...I think you're awesome. But I want you healthy, and honestly I think the more we can help each other the easier it'll be. If we have more kids, then maybe it will work out. But if not, you know what? I'm fine with giving her a bottle. In fact, I'd kind of... Well, I'd prefer it, if you want me to be really honest. I want to feel like I can do things for her too, not just change her diapers. I want to be her Daddy." I kissed Bella's cheek. "Besides, Rose and I were bottle-fed and we turned out okay."

Bella snorted. "You might want to come up with a better example than that."

I kissed her. "So what do you say?"

Bella's shoulders slumped again but there was a real and genuine smile on her face. "I say...thank God, because I don't think I'm going to get the hang of this."

I got up out of bed. "I'll go ask my mom to get the stuff."

I was at the door when her voice stopped me. "Edward?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Do you think I should have tried it longer?" Cassidy was just two days old and in different circumstances I would have probably encouraged her to try longer, just because of the health benefits for the baby. But I couldn't stand seeing Bella this way and I really did want to help while I could.

"No," I said honestly. "I think we need to start figuring things out for ourselves, and this is part of it."

Bella thought that over for a moment and then nodded. "Okay," she finally said. Cassidy pulled away with a little pop of sound and I tried not to ogle Bella's absolutely enormous boob. "Thanks," she added quietly.

_Six weeks,_ I reminded myself. _Six loooong fucking weeks_. And I was leaving in two months. Life sucked hard sometimes.

Once I got downstairs, I found my mom. "Bella and I want to start giving Cassidy a bottle," I told her. I hadn't noticed my dad there with her, and I assumed that Charlie and Renee had gone home already.

"Why?" Dad asked. I frowned at the question.

"What's that mean?"

Dad shrugged, and put his hand on my shoulder. "I was just wondering why you made that decision."

I was tempted to give the glib answer, the one that would roll off the old Edward Cullen's tongue. But exhaustion and worry had worn me down. "Because I can't stand to see Bella so fu...so tired and I want to help," I finally said.

The smile on my dad's face was so wide I thought he was going to hurt something – like his cheeks. "And that's why your mother and I are here to help, but not to take over. Because you and Bella need to figure out what kind of parents _you_ are, not just do what your mother and I tell you." He looked at Mom. "I told you he was a smart kid."

Mom just laughed and shook her head. "Yes, I suppose you did." She went to the pantry. "Anyway, here's some formula and I'll teach you how to make the bottles. You got a lot of the stuff at the baby shower and your father and I can pay for formula for a few months. After that..." Mom paused and pasted a too-bright smile on her face. "Well after that you'll be getting your Army salary and Bella will have base privileges so..." She pulled out a can. "So, let's get started, shall we?"

And my mother explained just how to make up a bottle of formula for Cassidy, and I paid more attention to that shit than I ever had in Calculus.


	34. Ch 34: Can't See the Stars Sometimes

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

_**Author's Note: First, let me apologize for the long delay in posting. I have been writing, but a little plot bunny wandered into my garden – ignoring the "NO NEW PLOT BUNNIES" sign and I got to writing on that. Still, I shouldn't have neglected this story. It WILL be finished. There will be a big time jump coming up fairly soon. A note on the breastfeeding issue... I am a firm believer in breast is best. However, I'm an even bigger believer in having a happy mother. I nursed all four of my kids for at least a year. I taught breastfeeding classes and I think it's a really great choice. That said, it isn't for everyone. And in my experience, teenaged moms usually have so much to deal with that breastfeeding is even more of a challenge. So I wanted Bella and Edward to feel comfortable and confident in their choice to switch. I think it was right for them at this time in their lives and really, that's what it's all about. :p**_

**Chapter 34: Can't See the Stars Sometimes**

_**Bella's POV**_

Switching Cassidy to the bottle proved to be easier than I expected. I did feel a pang of guilt, but even more than that I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. I knew that if we had another kid someday, I might give it another shot. But the idea of nursing her, of being solely responsible for giving her nourishment was just too much.

I was barely able to cope with the other parts of parenting.

When you see movies about having a new baby, they make it seem cute and funny. Ha ha, everyone is exhausted. Ha ha, the baby managed to poop out of their diaper and it went everywhere. Ha ha, you just lay down and suddenly the baby starts crying. Absolutely hilarious! It's all rich fodder for a comic's material.

Until it's real. Then it's not so funny. And you know all of those Hollywood writers are full of shit.

They don't tell you that there are moments when you'd give anything, and I do mean _anything_, just to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. They gloss over the fact that you don't have time to pee, much less take a shower. And they somehow conveniently forget that all of those hormones are still rushing around in your body, making you your own worst enemy.

I wasn't even sure how Edward could stand to be in the same room with me. One minute I would be holding Cassidy, staring at her with a sense of awe and amazement that Edward and I had actually created this tiny, perfect human being. The next, I would be bawling my eyes out and Edward would patiently take her from me and let me cry it out. Then he would hand me a handful of tissues, kiss me sweetly, and tell me that he loved me.

It was like Edward had grown up overnight, and I was still stuck in adolescence.

He didn't seem to have any doubts about his parenting ability. He didn't seem to lie awake at night and wonder if we had screwed up our lives beyond all recognition. He didn't even seem to be fazed by the fact that he would soon be leaving us and going into the United States FUCKING Army.

And my mouth was suddenly just like Edward's. How the fuck had that happened?

We took turns getting up to give Cassidy her bottles. Esme had taught Edward how to make Cassidy's bottles and he made up the supply every day and put them in the fridge for us. Carlisle made sure he got the hang of diapering. My mom gave us a few tips on burping Cassidy, and my Dad sang her a lullaby. It seemed that everyone was getting the hang of this baby thing except me.

I was alone. Apart. Confused, Scared.

Tired as hell.

The scariest part was that I couldn't picture it ever changing. Somehow, I would always be stuck in this cycle. I would never feel like me again. I missed me. I missed _us_. But most of all, I missed sleep.

_**~RFL~**_

_**Edward's POV**_

Switching Cassidy from the boob to the bottle had made things easier for all of us. It was just that much less tension hovering over us. But I was starting to get worried about Bella. It was more than being tired. Something else was going on and I didn't know what to do. Was I not doing enough? Was I doing too much? Was I just a complete fucking moron who didn't have a clue? Well yes, yes, I was.

And then there was the added stress of the upcoming weekend. Cassidy was just three weeks old and already I had workout weekend coming up with Sergeant Mann. I wasn't look forward to being away from my girls- at all. That realization only stirred up a whole bunch of new worries.

We were now into August and that meant I was due to leave for Ft. Leonard Wood next month. _Next_ month. What had seemed far, far in the future was suddenly just around the corner. A weird mix of terror and sadness started inside of me.

I thought I was doing a pretty good job at hiding my concerns about Bella and leaving for Basic. But my Dad, well he saw through me and knew something was up. One _early _morning Cassidy had gotten up to eat, and it was my turn to get up with her. As soon as she finished her bottle and I changed her and put her to bed, I realized I was hungry too. So I wandered down to the kitchen to get myself something to eat. It was usually a good idea to eat while I could. There was no telling when the opportunity would present itself again these days.

Besides, I kind of enjoyed the absolute quiet. Bella and Cassidy were sleeping. My parents were too. There was no one here yet, dropping in to see the baby (or to gloat or make fun of us for being teenage parents – it had happened with some of our high school friends). It was just me. And my cookies and milk. It didn't get much better than that.

About halfway through a stack of Chips Ahoys, I heard someone shuffling into the kitchen. I looked up to see my Dad rubbing at his belly. "What're you doing up?" he asked in a husky voice.

I just shook my head. "Newborn baby, remember?"

Dad laughed and opened the refrigerator. "Yeah, I remember."

He poured himself a glass of milk and sat down, grabbing the bag of cookies as he did. After he had dunked and eaten a few, he looked up at me. "Are you doing okay?"

I thought about that and shrugged. "Guess I'm getting kind of worried."

"About?" he prompted.

Suddenly, I wasn't so hungry anymore and pushed the rest of my cookies toward him. "Leaving Bella and Cassidy."

Dad grunted and dipped another cookie. Whatever tension had been lingering between us since announcing the pregnancy had disappeared in the weeks since Cassidy was born. He had even helped me change a few diapers, though he always conveniently disappeared if that suspicious stink filled the air. Couldn't blame him there.

Dad had that look on his face, the look that said he had something to say but wasn't quite sure how to say it. Finally, he took a deep breath. "Edward, are you still sure that this Army thing is for you?"

To be honest, that had been weighing on my mind a lot lately, especially with the date getting so close. I looked up at met his concerned gaze. "Do you think it's a mistake?" I asked. I wanted to know his opinion.

Dad paused, obviously giving my question serious consideration instead of giving me a pat, comforting answer. For some reason, that made me feel better. "Well...I don't think it's a case of being a mistake per se or not. I think it all boils down to if this decision is the _best_ one for you at this time. What does your gut tell you?"

"My gut hasn't exactly been responsible lately," I told him. "There's living proof of that in a bassinet up stairs."

With a flashing smile, Dad leaned in and whispered, "That wasn't your _gut_ that got you in trouble, son."

I had to laugh. That was the thing about my Dad; he was usually so serious that when he came out with something like that it shocked the shit out of you. "You have a point," I admitted.

"Edward, I have to admit that you've surprised me this past year," Dad said. "In a good way." Then he shook his head and gave a little smirk. "And some not so good ways, but mostly good. So I think you'll make the right decision – no matter what it is. And I'll support that decision because I trust you, and I'm proud of the man I see you becoming."

Something inside me clenched. I wanted to cry but I wasn't a pussy. Besides, Dad would freak. But it meant a lot to me to know he felt that way. Dad didn't bullshit, and he didn't spout off shit just to make someone feel better. Okay, so it was up to me to decide what I wanted to do with my life. Either way, I knew Bella would understand.

Then I sighed and stared at the simple wedding ring on my finger. It was all still so new that it caught me off guard sometimes. It was almost like there were moments when I was the guy I'd been a year ago – with the world at my feet, a hot girlfriend, and big plans for the future. Then I'd realize that that guy and _this_ guy didn't have a whole lot in common.

I was a teenaged father with a wife who was struggling with all of the baggage that had suddenly come into our lives and a daughter who was depending on me to – somehow – get my shit together and become a United States soldier and a decent father.

Fuck. Me.

I thought about the future. I thought about being away from Bella and Cassidy for nineteen weeks. I thought about packing us up and moving us to fuck knew where and taking Bella away from our support system. I thought about getting my orders to deploy and leaving them for a full year and finding my ass in the middle of a fucking war zone with bullets flying over my head and roadside bombs exploding all around me. I had a pretty fucking vivid imagination sometimes.

I looked out the window at the dark night sky and saw the stars that were struggling to be seen through the clouds. They were always bright, but sometimes we just couldn't see them because of all the other shit in the way.

Then I thought about working at some minimum wage job that wouldn't give Bella and the baby any protection. We'd be just another couple of teenage parents who had had to give up on all their bigger dreams. Cassidy would grow up without many of the little luxuries that Bella and I had had, and there might even be a few necessities that she went without too, though I was pretty sure the grandparents would step in to fill the void if they knew. We'd..._get by_. People do. That's how life was.

But I wanted more for Bella and Cassidy. Hell, I wanted more for myself. I didn't want to work at the mall and bring home a shitty paycheck and tell Bella that we couldn't afford to take the baby to the doctor and that the rent was going to be late. Again.

I wouldn't get rich in the Army, that was for damned sure. But it offered something more, something with a bit of dignity. And Bella and Cassidy would be protected. That was the most important thing.

"Yeah," I finally said. My dad had waited patiently for me to answer, to work it all out in my mind. "Yeah, it's right for me...for us. I want to give Bella and Cassidy a real future, not just get by, Dad. I want more than that for them...for me."

Dad patted my hand briefly and then picked up another cookie. "Then you'll do well at it, Edward. You'll be a good soldier. And I'll be proud of you all over again."

That next cookie didn't go down so easy.

_**~RFL~**_

Later that day, I found Bella sitting in the rocking chair holding Cassidy. One of them was crying and it wasn't the one wearing diapers.

"Bella?" I asked as I kneeled down beside her.

I wanted to take Cassidy from her and suggest a nap, for both of them, but Bella had kind of a death grip on the baby. So I just ran my fingers over Cassidy's fuzzy head and then kissed Bella's cheek. "You okay?"

Bella sniffed and nodded. _Bullshit_, I wanted to call. After a long pause, she looked at me, her dark eyes wide and still swimming with tears. "Edward?"

"Yeah?"

Another pause, shorter this time. "Do you think I'm going to be a good mother?"

"I think you _are _a good mother," I replied.

"Good mothers probably don't get this tired," she observed mournfully.

I wanted to laugh but got the feeling that would be a mistake. The doctor had told me that stuff like this might happen. The books had said the same thing. Looked like they were right. "I don't think being tired has anything to do with being a good parent and has everything to do with being sleep deprived." I tugged at a strand of her hair.

She giggled and sounded more like the old Bella. Then she wiped her nose and sighed. "I just didn't think it would be this...hard...or so...momentous, I guess."

"You said the same thing the first time you saw my dick," I teased, trying to lighten the mood. And I had sex on the brain. Again. Still. Always.

She gasped and slapped at me with her free hand. "I did not!"

I smirked. "Sure did."

"You're nothing but a sex-crazed moron," she accused, but her lips were trying to form a smile. I plucked Cassidy from her arms and gingerly placed her in the bassinet. The kid had radar and seemed to wake up the instant you weren't cradling her little butt in your hands. I breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't wake up.

Then I picked up Bella and sat down in the rocker, settling Bella on my lap. She leaned against me with a tired sigh. I ran my fingers through her hair. It needed to be brushed. It was weird what it was hard to find the time to do with a new baby around. The dresser was within reach, so I stretched and grabbed her brush. I started brushing her hair with long, soft strokes. She liked it when I played with her hair.

"We'll get it figured out, Bella," I whispered. "So, we're tired and a little punchy. Everyone tells me that this part doesn't last forever. I'm not sure I believe them," I added and she gave a soft laugh, her eyes closed. "But logically, I guess they have to be right."

She murmured her agreement and I kept brushing her hair. Of course, my dick tried to get in the act and I had to shift a little bit so I wasn't poking Bella in the ass with it. She wasn't helping matters any by shifting right back and settling her cute little backside right over my aching cock.

"Stop it," I told her in a mock growl.

"Sorry," she said. "I have to tell you, even if we were clear with the doc, I'm too tired."

I didn't answer, just kept brushing her hair. When I was done, I tossed the brush on the bed and ran my hands down her silky length of hair again. Then I pulled her close and kissed her forehead. Bella relaxed completely against me and then I heard a little snore.

So I simply held her and rocked her slowly and felt all of my own worries fall away, even if only for a moment.


	35. Chapter 35: Discussions and Decisions

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 35: Discussions and Decisions**

_**Edward's POV**_

When I woke up on September first, I felt sick to my stomach. It was _September._ Things were moving fast now, it seemed. Too fast. Too fucking fast.

I turned and watched Bella sleeping. She was curled up on her side. Some of the shadows under her eyes were finally starting to fade a little. Cassidy had settled into a night time feeding routine that was a little less brutal. She woke up every four hours, but four hours beat the hell out of every hour. I would never complain about sleep again as long as I could get three straight hours in a row. We'd even been taking turns so that meant that, if we didn't wake up when it wasn't our turn, we were getting close to six hours of sleep – in a row – every other night.

We were fucking golden.

It was funny how our perspectives changed once Cassidy came long on things like sleeping and being grown ups and all that shit. Having a kid was definitely grown up stuff, no doubt about it. Our lives were stressful, couldn't lie about that. But I wouldn't change it. Not for anything. Bella and Cassidy were my life now, my center, my everything.

But now, as I watched Bella sleeping, I realized that this time next month, my ass would be in an Army barracks and I'd probably be staring at some guy's ass crack. I turned and looked at the clock. No. I wouldn't be in a bunk staring at an ass crack. I'd be up and probably running or crawling through mud or getting yelled at by some cranky drill sergeant with really bad breath.

Fucking hell.

I wiped at my face and turned over on my back and stared up at the ceiling for a while. We still had about thirty minutes before Cassidy woke up and it was time for us all to get up and get our day started. Cassidy was a much happier baby when she was on a schedule, which surprised the shit out of me since Bella and I were both kind of "by the seat of our pants" kind of people.

Kids surprise you.

I had just over two weeks before I was scheduled to leave. I'd sign the final papers just before I left. I was getting sworn in the day before. The nearest MEPS* was in Seattle and from there, I'd be going directly to Missouri. Once I was there, I wouldn't see Bella and Cassidy again for three months. I was lucky, though. The way my training was scheduled, I get two weeks home for Christmas leave. Some people had to do the whole nineteen weeks without seeing their families. It sucked hard, but I knew it was just the beginning of being away from them.

I turned over again and stared at Bella again, figuring I'd better do it while I could. I brushed back the hair from her face and thought about leaving her. Before I left, before I signed those last papers that made me the property of the U.S. Government, she and I had to have a talk. Sergeant Mann had told me to make sure of what I was doing, because it wasn't a commitment that just I was making. Bella and Cassidy were making it too.

We'd talk tonight. Tonight was special anyway. Bella had gone to the doctor and gotten cleared for sex again. I was more than ready. She didn't seem as enthusiastic as I was feeling, but I felt pretty certain I could get her in the mood. I was guessing she was a little nervous about sex. After seeing her give birth, I could totally understand that.

Tonight, for the first time, we were leaving Cassidy with my parents and going on a date. We didn't have much time to just be Bella and Edward, and we were taking advantage of every opportunity.

My dick throbbed and jerked against my belly. _Yeah, yeah, I get the picture_, I thought. _You want to get laid. Join the club, buddy, join the fucking club._

_** ~RFL~**_

When Bella had walked down the stairs I kind of stared like an idiot. "Wow," I said. It had been a long time since I'd seen non-pregnant Bella dressed up. It was a fucking sight.

She shot me a shy smile, tugging at the hem of the dress. It wasn't tight or too form-fitting. She had been bitching about not fitting into her pre-pregnancy jeans so I was guessing the dress was a better option. No matter the reason for the choice, the choice was hot. _She_ was hot.

Thank fuck that birth control was taken care of. I didn't relish the thought of a condom our first time out of the gate, so to speak. Of course, as horny as I was feeling now it might have been a good idea.

Oh well, the great thing about being nineteen years old was that my dick was practically the Energizer Bunny – Bella's words, not mine.

After Bella and I had both grilled my parents on taking care of Cassidy, which seemed to amuse them, we were in the car and on our way to Pt. Angeles. That was as far as either one of us felt comfortable going. I wasn't sure who had been the most difficult to actually get out the front door, me or Bella. I figured we would call it a tie.

The hostess led us to our table. We couldn't order wine, which was kind of stupid since we were married and parents, and I was about to go in to the fucking Army for fuck's sake. But hey, them's the rules as Emmett would say.

So we sipped on coke and ordered baked ziti. Neither one of us touched the garlic bread and I was hoping that was because she didn't want garlic breath either.

We ate slowly, enjoying the luxury of having all the time in the world to actually chew our food without balancing a baby in our arms. We talked about Cassidy and how adorable she looked when she smiled. We talked about how Renee had fallen under Cassidy's spell and was popping in all the time to cuddle with her. Cassidy's charm and appeal was so overwhelming that Renee had extended her forgiveness to us as well. She was shaping up to be a great help to have around. I was glad, not just for my sake, but for Bella's. Bella was going to need a good support system while I was gone.

We talked about a lot of things, with one glaring exception.

After dinner, I put my jacket around Bella's shoulders. "Come take a walk with me?" I asked.

She put her hand in mine and we just walked for a while. Finally, I stopped us and leaned down to kiss her. I wasn't sure how to bring it up, and by the time I worked up the courage, she was hugging me tight.

"We need-"

"Can we-"

We stopped and laughed. "You first," she said.

I guided her to a bench and we sat down and I pulled her close. "You know I'm scheduled to leave soon," I said.

She nodded and bowed her head for a moment. "Yeah."

"I still have to sign the final papers," I continued. "And before I do...I want to make sure...I want to make sure you're okay with it. Really okay, not just saying it."

She nibbled at her lip for a moment before she spoke. "To be honest, I wasn't...at first," she admitted quietly.

I wasn't sure what to say to that, so I just squeezed her.

"I mean, I got why you wanted to do it," Bella continued. "I did, and I was proud of your reasons, but I still didn't want to see you go. It seemed like a really extreme solution to our situation."

Her eyes were shining with tears, but she gave me a wobbly smile. "And then, my mom and I were talking."

"Uh oh," I muttered.

Bella laughed and shook her head. "No, it was good, it helped anyway." She sighed. "See, my mom had been going on these websites for the families of people in the service, mostly the Army, since that's what applied to us."

"Your mom did that?" I was surprised, since Renee hadn't said much about my decision.

"Yeah, I know, right?" Bella made a funny face. "And she told me I should take a look too. That I could ask questions there and get answers from people who were in our position and were living the life."

I was almost afraid to ask. "And?"

She shrugged. "Some of it I didn't like," Bella said and I took a deep breath. "But they were honest with me, you know? I felt like they were giving me the real story, not just some glorified bullshit that a recruiter might feed me."

"What do you think?"

"What do I think? Hmmm..." She seemed to consider this. "Well, I think it's a hard life, on _everyone_. I think there will be times that I hate being alone and I'll be terrified that you're never coming home." Then she turned to me and smiled. "But I also think that I'm going to be incredibly proud to be a soldier's wife...if that soldier is you and it's still what you want. I think our daughter is very, very lucky to have a father who would do so much to give her a good life. And I think, Edward Cullen, that I've never loved you more."

I grabbed her close and hugged her. "Bella..." I whispered and kissed her. Hard.

She pulled away a little. "I'm scared, Edward. I'm not going to lie. I'm terrified, but I think...I _know_ we can do this if we stick together. It'll be tough, tougher on you I think because at least I'll still have family around me, but I believe in you, Edward. I believe in _us_."

"Holy shit, Bella, I'm so fucking turned on right now," I said, trying to slip a hand up her dress. She smacked my hand away but smiled.

"You're just horny because it's been a while," she accused.

"Yeah, that could be part of it," I admitted with a rueful smile.

She stood up and offered me her hand. "Take me home, soldier boy, and make love to me." I kissed her again as I stood up.

"Gladly," I said.

I probably broke some speeding laws, but hell, I was the son-in-law of the Chief of Police and that had to count for something.

_**~RFL~**_

We had peeked in to let my parents know we were home. They had Cassidy in her bassinet in their room for the night. The down side of living with my parents was that they knew exactly what we'd be up to; the up side was that they were willing to take night-duty so that we could do it. It all evened out as far I could tell.

The second the bedroom door was closed and locked behind us, we were ripping at each other's clothes. We got everything off but one of my socks. Oh well. We were moaning and licking and biting and groaning like some low-budget porno.

It was awesome.

Then we tumbled onto the bed and I lowered myself down her body to lick at her. I could tell she was getting nervous and I couldn't blame her. The last action that her pussy had seen was pushing a whole other person out of it. I was feeling the kick of nerves myself.

What if it was different...down there?

What if she hated sex now?

What if I came in like two seconds?

Then she was pushing at my chest. "There's lube in the drawer," she said.

Lube?

What the fuck?

Was she looking for action in another entrance? Shit. I wasn't ready for anything beyond the basics at this point. We'd have to work up to some of the kinkier shit if that was what she was hinting at.

She must have seen the confusion on my face, or maybe the terror.

Blushing and biting her lip, she whispered, "The doc said lube might make it...easier." And even in the dim light I could see her cheeks ignite. "You know...the first time..."

Oh. Lube. Easier. Gotcha.

I grabbed it and then stared. What the fuck did I do now? Lube her up? Lube me up? Both? Now? Later? Fuck, this was turning out to be way more complicated than I anticipated.

Laughing, Bella took the lube from me and put in on the bed beside her. She pulled me down and started kissing me. I forgot about the lube. I forgot about pretty much everything except how good she felt against me, under me...rubbing all over me.

Oh fuck yeah.

I slid down her body again and this time she let me use my mouth of her. God, she tasted as good as I remembered. I told her so and she moaned as she tugged at my hair. I gave her a playful nip on the inner thigh and she hissed. She liked it, I could tell by the way her pussy clenched around my fingers.

I started off slow, letting us both get used to being together again. When she had had an orgasm, I kissed my way back up her body. She let me kiss her right away, which I always thought was fucking hot.

Then her hands were wrapped around my cock and she was guiding me toward her pussy. I thought I just might die of excitement then, at that first nudge against her. So fucking close.

Somehow, she had managed to get some lube on her fingers and the next thing I knew she was stroking my cock with slick hands.

Holy fuck!

I grunted and started humping her hands and she laughed before she put the head right back against her. "Slow," she murmured.

That was going to be a fucking job, to go slow. I wanted to pound inside of her like an animal. But one look at her face and I knew I couldn't blow it.

Slowly, so fucking slowly that I was pretty sure I went insane two or three times, I pushed inside of her. When I was in balls deep, she took a deep breath and then nodded.

I gave a little experimental thrust and she groaned. I stopped. Shit. I'd hurt her.

Then her feet came up on my ass and she gave me a little tap with her heels, so I figured we were good to go.

Thank fuck.

I thrust again and it was like heaven. Shit. I had missed this so much. Her hips answered mine and there was nothing but give and take.

Of course, the give and take didn't last nearly long enough and it wasn't too much longer that I was gritting out a warning. "Fuck Bella! I can't...I've gotta..."

"Come, baby," she whispered.

And I did.

Oh my God, I did.

_**Author's Note: There really are websites for the families of service members. They are invaluable resources, especially if you can't directly talk to your soldier. The people on these sites are welcoming, honest, and supportive and can really go a long way toward making family members feel more at ease with the decision to serve your country.**_

*Military Entrance Processing Station – this is where anyone entering any branch of the military is processed. From here, they are shipped to their various Basic Training sites.


	36. Chapter 36: Change of Address

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

_**Author's Note: We're winding down now, since what I really wanted to do was explore how Bella and Edward handled the transition from teenagers to parents. We will get a glimpse of Edward's life as a soldier and you will find out how everyone turned out. But there aren't many chapters left. Edward has made his decision and Bella will start to adjust to life as a soldier's wife. I hope you enjoy this chapter and the ones that come after. I thank you for your patience with me, too.**_

**Chapter 36: Change of Address**

_**Edward's POV**_

"I guess that's the last of it," I said as I zipped my small bag closed. Packing was easy in the Army. There was no guess work involved. They'd given me a list of what I could – and could not – bring. The first list was pretty damned short. I had white athletic socks, no stripes, logos, or insignias. I had flip flops. I had running shoes. I had some underwear. I had stamps, stationary, my marriage certificate and Cassidy's birth certificate. What I did not have were lighters, pornographic material, or tobacco items. I didn't really care about two of those three items, but I had a feeling I was going to sorely miss one of them. Bella found it hilarious. I was less amused.

Bella had put Cassidy on the bed so she could watch me pack. We were heading out to Seattle in an hour or so. We had already spent our last night together the night before. Tomorrow I was going to be signing my final papers and being sworn in, but the Army had rules about everything – including where I'd spend the night tonight.

So, last night had been our last night together and that thought killed me. It seemed wrong that I wouldn't be in Bella's arms tonight, listening to Cassidy snuffling and squirming as she woke. Bella and my parents were staying in the same hotel but I wasn't sure if we'd see each other.

Bella lay down on the bed and I did too, Cassidy in between us. She looked up at us with wide eyes, as if she sensed her little world was changing. Our hands met over Cassidy's little body, our eyes met over her head. I saw tears fill Bella's eyes. "What am I going to do without you?" she asked.

"Take care of our daughter," I answered softly.

She bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah, I will."

I smiled and leaned over and kissed her. "Thank you."

_**Bella's POV**_

The trip to Seattle was too short. Sgt. Mann had given us a concession when he allowed us to drive Edward to Seattle. He would not go so far as to allow Edward to stay the night with me. It seemed unnecessarily cruel to take our last night from us, but I supposed I was going to have to get used to rules that didn't make any sense to me. Apparently, the Army was rather fond of them.

I didn't cry when Edward walked away with Sgt. Mann to do some last minute Army things. I didn't cry when his parents and Cassidy and I walked out of MEPS and left Edward there. I didn't even cry when I buckled Cassidy into her car seat and we drove away. No, I saved my tears for when I was alone in the bathtub back at the hotel. Esme and Carlisle were watching Cassidy. My parents were meeting us tomorrow but Esme and Carlisle had already gotten them an adjoining room. That was where I took my bath, mostly because I knew I was going to lose it. Esme seemed to understand and told me to take my time.

So I sat in that hotel bathtub and I cried.

_**Edward's POV**_

I felt like a thief or a spy. They had put me in a room with a guy who had told me that they'd check on us around midnight and then go to sleep. He knew that because his brother had joined the Army six months ago and already been through all of this. Good to know.

I had at least three hours before I had to worry about being in my room. That little tidbit of information had me sneaking through the halls of the Holiday Inn. Suddenly, I felt like I was in high school again, sneaking in some time with my girl and trying to escape the chaperones' notice. I had texted Bella with the phone that would soon be taken away from me and the door opened when I gave my first tentative knock.

She pulled me into the room adjoining my parents' and her lips mashed against mine. I was glad she had already closed the door between the rooms because the next thing I knew, she had me pinned against the wall and then was on her knees. Holy. Fuck. God, I love my girl's mouth!

"Bella," I whispered urgently. "Come on, baby, let's at least get to the bed."

This was it, one last shot. I wouldn't be in between those sweet thighs for three long months and I wanted to enjoy myself. And make sure she did too. My mother had raised a gentleman, after all.

We struggled to get off the few clothes we had on. I had tugged on a tee-shirt and sweats and had gone barefoot, carrying an ice bucket as a weak cover. That was all soon on the floor and I was sliding Bella's panties down her thighs as she instructed me to hurry.

"Yes, ma'am!" I answered smartly.

She rolled her eyes and pulled me for another kiss. The next moment I was buried inside of her and we both gave loud moans of approval. Fuck yeah.

It was quick and dirty and hard and it was perfect. Of course, it was also perfect an hour later when it was slow and sweet and tender. Pretty much it was Bella that was perfect, I decided.

_**Bella's POV**_

"Are you okay?" Mom asked with concern as I picked at my breakfast. Esme was holding Cassidy, my dad and Carlisle were talking and my mother was eyeing me like I was going to explode. Or cry. Or run. Frankly, all three had their own merits.

"Yeah, I'm good," I lied.

Mom gave me a smile that let me know she wasn't fooled and then her hand closed over mine and she squeezed. "I wanted to tell you something, Bella," she whispered. Oh God, if this was another lecture on how we'd ruined our lives I was going to barf right here in the restaurant. "I already had a moment to talk with Edward before he left...in Forks, but I wanted _you_ to know, Bella, that I've been very...proud of you two. You've done better than most couples would in a similar situation, no matter their ages. And I wanted you to know that I think you and Edward are both very good parents and that Cassidy is a very lucky little girl to have you and I don't think I've ever been prouder...of either of you."

It was so unexpected that for a moment I wondered if I had dreamed up the whole thing – the pregnancy and Cassidy and Edward going into the Army. Then I felt my mother's hand on mine and realized that all of it was real. And all of it was happening _today_. Suddenly, I was a little girl again and I wanted my mommy to make it all better.

She took me in her arms right there in the middle of the restaurant and she hugged me hard. And she made it better, just like she always did.

_**Edward's POV**_

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life when it seems that everything speeds up at the very same time it slows down to such a snail's pace that you are really aware of every passing moment? I'd never had one until that day in the airport. September had finally arrived. I had been sworn in at the MEPS for the final time earlier that day.

Bella and Cassidy and my parents and Bella's parents had all been there watching. To be honest, I hadn't given my oath much thought until I heard myself saying the words along with a dozen other men and women. I hadn't really thought about the promises I was making beyond the vaguest sense...until then. I watched Bella and Cassidy as I made a promise not only to my country, but to them. Suddenly, it all hit me.

_**I, Edward Cullen, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God. **_

This was big. This was huge. This was the most important thing I had ever done in my life apart from getting married and having Cassidy. As I spoke the words, I could only hope and pray that I didn't screw up. I could only hope and pray that Bella would wait for me, and that I had made the right decision, not just for me, but for all three of us.

I guessed that only time would tell.

They had followed us to the airport and Bella and Cassidy and I had spent every moment we could together, which wasn't a lot. The next thing I knew they were calling our flights and I was giving out hugs and kisses and trying not to cry like a pussy. The other new recruit hadn't had anyone there to say good-bye to, but my mother hugged him and told him to take care. I had wanted to die of embarrassment, but the guy just hugged her back.

We sat beside each other on the flight. He was mostly quiet, but he told me I had a nice family. He told me his name was Jasper Whitlock and I told him that I was Edward Cullen. We figured out that we were both going MP, or mud puppies, as he told me. He said he was from Texas, but had been living in Seattle, playing with a band. I wasn't sure how he'd ended up in the Army, but he probably wasn't sure how I had either. Sometimes even I didn't know. He told me I was a lucky man to have someone at home to write me and send me stuff. I told him that I was but that he shouldn't be surprised if my mother insisted on sending him shit too. He laughed at that but didn't say no. He went quiet for a moment and then he fell asleep. I'd never seen anyone fall asleep so fast in my life.

After the flight, they loaded us up on a bus. And I was on a heading toward a place that, for all intents and purposes, seemed to be plopped down in the middle of absolutely nowhere. We hadn't passed anything but trees in a long time. Then I saw some lights and I saw a Wal-Mart. And places to get tattoos and see naked girls dance. And pawn shops, lots of pawn shops. I was beginning to understand why the base's nickname was Ft. Lost in the Woods.

I was in the woods. And I was starting to feel lost. Very, _very _lost.

_**Bella's POV**_

The ride home from the airport to Forks was very quiet. Even Cassidy was silent in her car seat, though she remained surprisingly awake, watching the passing scenery with wide eyes. Suddenly, I felt the urge to howl and scream. Edward was gone. I wouldn't see him again for three long months and that seemed unbearable. I couldn't even begin to comprehend how I'd feel when he was deployed. I reached and grasped Cassidy's tiny hand. It was so fragile, and yet so strong. As she wrapped her little fingers around mine, I silently promised Edward that I would take good care of her.

He had spoiled me and I knew it. He had changed diapers and been unfailingly patient and cheerful when my own sullen mood came crashing down on us. He'd adapted to fatherhood with far more grace and good cheer than I had to motherhood. But that ended today. No more feeling sorry for myself, no more moping.

I closed my eyes and leaned back, I could see him again, standing there with his hand raised, taking his oath. He had sounded so sure, so strong in his conviction that I couldn't doubt him. This choice was tough, no doubt about it. But it was right...for us...for now. The best thing I could for him was to stay strong. We were young, but our grandparents and great-grandparents had been parents and gone to war and waited at home for a loved one when they had been our ages.

Edward and I could do this, if we did it together. I put my hand in my purse and touched the cell phone there. This would be our lifeline for the next few months. I knew I wouldn't go anywhere without it. I knew better than to expect a lot of calls, especially at first. Sgt. Mann had told me that I'd get one call when Edward arrived at the base. I might get a 2 or 3 minute call the first Sunday he was there. Or I might not. We were both at the Army's mercy now.

I clutched that phone tightly and I thought about other men and women who were, right at this exact moment, doing exactly the same thing.

Wondering. Worrying. Waiting.


	37. Chapter 37: New Lives

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

_**Author's Note: At last...**_

**Chapter 37:**** New Lives**

_**Bella's POV**_

The day passed by at an agonizing pace. Cassidy seemed to know I was useless and used every trick in the book to get her grandparents to pay attention to her. It worked. Finally, Mom and Dad went home and Edward's parents kept us company.

Every time I looked at a clock I noticed only the smallest amount of progress. At every moment, I tried to imagine where Edward was and what he was doing.

_Edward is boarding his plane_. He would be nervous, shifting from foot to foot, but trying not to _look_ nervous.

_Edward is flying_. I wondered if he had anyone to talk to, or if he was sitting there alone, wondering what the future held.

_Edward is looking out the window at the clouds, hopefully thinking about me and Cassidy_. Maybe he would even pull out the picture of us he kept in his wallet. Maybe there was an old lady sitting next to him and she'd ask him about the picture…and he'd smile and tell her that it was a picture of his wife and daughter and that he was joining the Army for us.

_Edward's plane is landing_. He'd be in St. Louis now, half a country and yet a world away. I wouldn't touch him for three long months. He wouldn't hold Cassidy or me for a long time. How would we survive?

_Edward is on a bus going to Ft. Leonard Wood_. He'd probably be surrounded by other guys who were going there too. Surely he wasn't the only one going to Ft. Leonard Wood at the same time. What was it like on that bus? Quiet? Rowdy? Would he be able to text me? My phone stayed silent, so I was guessing not.

_Edward is arriving at the fort_. He was theirs now; he belonged to the Army.

_Edward is…_

It was there that I lost the thread of my conjecture. What _was_ Edward doing? Was he there? Would he be allowed to call? Sgt. Mann had said he would, but he also warned us that the Army was in control of every small aspect of Edward's life now, from when he used the bathroom to when he used the phone.

Then my cell phone rang and I almost dropped it in my haste to answer it.

"Hello? Edward?" At first, all I could hear was a lot of yelling and a confusing mixture of voices.

"Aw, baby," I finally heard him say. "God, it's so fucking good to hear your voice." He sounded tired. Beyond tired, he sounded exhausted and overwhelmed. "I'm here." I heard more yelling in the background. "I can't talk long, and I don't know when I'll get to call again. You'll be getting a letter from the Army soon, giving you my address. I'll write to you as soon as I can, but I don't know-"

"Time's up!" I heard a loud voice boom in the background.

"Gotta go, babe," Edward rushed. "Love you, love Cassidy!"

"I love you, too-" But there was nothing but a dial tone.

Edward was gone.

** ~RFL~**

The next few days passed by very, very slowly. I kept my cell phone with me everywhere I went, even in the bathroom when I showered. I kept it right there on the vanity, turned up all the way so I wouldn't miss a single call. Cassidy was as out of sorts as I was, fussy and restless. I was sure she missed her Daddy. Edward had been the center of her world, even more than I was. So I started doing all the things that Edward had gone with her, trying to bring us both a little closer to him.

When she woke up in the morning, I carried her downstairs and made her bottle, sitting in Edward's favorite chair to feed her. I even sang to her, though my voice probably sounded like frogs croaking compared to Edward's smooth tones. She seemed to enjoy it anyway. On the third full day alone, I bundled her up in her car seat and we went to my parents' house.

My mom was running down the stairs before I even got Cassidy out of her car seat. "How's Edward?" she said. "Have you heard from him?"

"Not since that first day," I answered, knowing I sounded like a petulant child. I couldn't help it. I _was_ petulant, and childhood wasn't so very far away.

Mom cradled my face in her hands and brushed back my hair. "Oh sweetie," she murmured. "This must be so hard for you." Then she hugged me hard. "But I'm so proud of you…of both of you!" I wanted to ask her if she had been drinking. Of course, since Cassidy's birth, she had mellowed considerably.

"Come on," she said. "You go inside. It's getting a little chilly. I'll get the little missy out of the car. You go on."

I trudged up the stairs and was soon in my father's embrace. He smelled like gun oil and peppermints and I found the mixture oddly comforting. I fought against the urge to cry like a little girl, but he seemed to sense it anyway and hugged me even tighter. "You doing okay, little girl?"

I nodded, even though I wasn't. He gave me a rueful smile and I knew my father had seen through my subterfuge, as he usually did. He kissed the top of my head and escorted me into the house. I heard Mom talking to Cassidy, telling her what a beautiful girl she was. Whatever my mother's feelings about the pregnancy had been, she was turning out to be a spectacular grandmother.

Mom told me to sit and relax while she puttered around the kitchen and Dad and I sat at the kitchen table, Cassidy happily settled on Dad's lap. I watched the two of them interact with my daughter and had to smile, because you'd never guess by looking at them that Cassidy had arrived _years_ ahead of schedule and had been the ultimate in unexpected blessings.

"Are you keeping yourself busy, kid?" Dad asked.

I laughed and nodded toward Cassidy. "Uh, yeah, whether I want to or not."

He smirked. "Well besides that. I meant, are you doing anything for yourself?"

I just sort of stared at him.

Dad cleared his throat and looked at my mother, who just nodded. "Well, your mom and I have been talking…" He looked down at Cassidy. "And I know the deadline for registering for classes has passed, but your mom sat down with Mrs. DiGorgio and they sort of uh…they pushed your records through and you've been accepted to take some online courses…if you want."

"But classes have already started," I said, feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Mom sat down and took my hand in hers. "Yes, most of them have started, but there are some classes that only go half of the semester and there are still openings in those." She smiled at Cassidy. "I realize that Esme and Carlisle are there to help you with the day to day stuff if you need it. But even though I work during the day, I'd be happy to watch our girl in the evenings so you could study or whatever." She brushed her knuckles over my cheek. "I think the time will go by faster if you have something that's just for you. But if you don't want-"

I hugged her so tightly that she stopped talking. "OH!" It was all I could say. I thought that taking a class or two might be just what I needed. With online classes, I could still make sure that Cassidy was getting my full attention, and with four willing grandparents to help, I was sure we could make it work.

Mom laughed and squeezed me back. "See," she said, looking at my father. "I told you she'd like the idea!" But of course, she was crying too by that point.

Dad shook his head and watched the two of us blubbering like idiots. "And your mom and I want to pay for the classes. I know you and Edward want to do this on your own, but this would really mean a lot to us. You'll want to be paying for your own stuff as soon as Edward's out of boot camp, I guess. But we'd still like to help with education expenses. We'd planned to do that all along anyway."

"Oh, Daddy," I said. "Thank you…so much. You don't know what this means."

Dad looked down at Cassidy, who was drooling all down her onesie. "Yeah, kiddo, I think we do. Besides," he added with a wink. "We've gotta do the patriotic thing and support our troops…and their families."

And cue the waterworks. Again.

**~RFL~**

On Sunday night, my phone rang – finally – with Edward's ring tone. "Edward?"

He sighed and laughed, though even through the phone I could hear his exhaustion. "Yeah, babe, it's me."

I breathed and cried all at the same time, which wasn't easy. "How are you?" I laughed. "I miss you. I love you."

"I'm surviving. I miss you too. I love you, babe. So much…" He took a deep breath. "Is Cassie okay?"

"She's driving me crazy," I answered. "Missing her daddy like mad."

Another shaky laugh from Edward. "God, I miss her like crazy too." I heard voices in the background.

"So…you don't have privacy for phone calls?" I guessed.

"Not yet," Edward answered ruefully. "You don't get shit in the Army until you earn it."

"Ouch."

"Tell me about it," Edward said.

"So…what's it like?" I asked.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," he said. "Let's just say that the Army has a procedure for everything we do, from how we hold our cups at dinner to how we wash our balls."

"What?"

"I'm telling the truth," Edward insisted with a laugh. "Ain't that right, Whit?"

"Whit?" I heard a voice yell agreement in the background.

"Whit was on my flight here," Edward explained. "He ended up in my company. Can you believe that?"

"I'm glad you know someone there," I said. "Well…kind of, I guess."

"Ah hell, now we're Army buddies," Edward said. "We're stuck with each other for life!"

"Fuck that shit!" I heard a voice yell in the background. I assumed it was Whit.

"Anyway," Edward continued suddenly. "I don't have long. Drill Sergeant is giving us the signal. You'll be getting a letter from me soon. I'll call when I can, but we can lose our phone privileges when someone fucks up." His voice turned sour. "And someone always fucks up."

"Oh," I said. I had wanted to put his mom on the phone, or his dad. I wanted to maintain this tenuous connection for as long as I could, and hearing that it was almost over was like a punch in my gut.

"Yeah, I know," he said softly. "I feel the same way." Then he laughed softly. "Oh, and there'll be a text coming through soon before I get my phone taken up." There was a long pause. "I love you, Bella. So much. Give everyone my love, but save most of it for you and Cassidy. Tell her that Daddy loves her and misses her. Don't let her forget me."

"I will, and I won't," I babbled. "Shit, I mean-" He laughed.

"I understand," he whispered. "Gotta go. Love you."

"Love you too," I said, and then the phone went dead. I stared at it for a while and was so surprised by the text tone that I almost dropped it. It was a picture. I opened it and wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry.

It was my Edward, making a goofy face. But he was bald – or at least next to it. They had shaved off all that beautiful hair and I wanted to cry. He already looked thinner, and there were dark circles under his green eyes. But his smile was the same one I'd fallen in love with. I saved the picture.

I fell asleep that night with the phone under my pillow, replaying every word he'd said to me, every single inflection in his voice.

We would make it through this.

We would.


	38. Chapter 38: Letters from Home

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

_**Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is shorter, but we're going to start making some time leaps very soon!**_

**Chapter 38:**** Letters from Home**

**Bella's POV**

A week after Edward left, I opened the mailbox to find an official looking letter from the United States Army. The letter gave me Edward's address and a list of things I could and could not send to him. It also stated that I would be hearing from my soldier soon. The way it was worded made it sound like "my soldier" wasn't going to be given much of a choice in the matter. I guessed the Army really did have total control of everything he did.

I gave Carlisle and Esme the address and then tucked away the letter. I waited until Cassidy fell asleep and then began writing.

_Dear Edward,_

_God, I feel like we're passing notes in Physics class or something. It seems so weird to know that while I'm writing this to you and Cassidy is sleeping quietly beside me while you're probably running or doing jumping jacks or something equally Army. I don't even know what to write, not because I don't have anything to say but because I have so much to say._

_I want to say that I love you. I want to say that I miss you. But the words love and miss don't even begin to scratch the surface. It's like saying Cassidy is cute, when we both know she's the most beautiful baby in the world. I figured you wouldn't argue with that particular example._

_I show her the picture of you WITHOUT YOUR HAIR all the time. I tell her that that's Daddy. I don't want her to be surprised when you come home for Christmas. Yeah, I know she's just a baby, but babies are smart. Especially ours._

_I've signed up for a class! Mrs. DiGorgio and my parents made it happen and my parents are even paying for it. I talked to my mom after she and Dad made the offer. I wanted to make sure she knew we were planning on taking care of all those things ourselves and she said she knew we would, but that's why they wanted to help us. It didn't make sense at first, but I guess now I get it. Maybe they want to help us more because we're trying to do this on our own, no matter how hard it is. You got the short end of the bargain there, and I'm sorry. But I love you for being there for us, in every way. You're pretty spectacular, Mr. Cullen. I hope you know that._

_Oops, Cassidy is wriggling around and starting to do the hungry dance in her crib. I'll mail this out and then write you another one. My letters will probably be very boring._

_I love you. I miss you. So much._

_Love Always,_

_Bella_

I was feeling rather silly and romantic when I sealed up the letter, so I put on some lipstick and pressed my lips to the back, leaving a very nice lip print for him to hopefully appreciate.

I fed Cassidy and got her settled and got on the computer to see what my first writing assignment would be. I smiled when I saw the topic. "Who is My Hero and Why" That was easy enough. My hero was Edward. Why? Well, you kind of have to love a guy who'll join the _Army_ for you.

Just saying.

** ~~~RFL~~~**

_**Edward's POV**_

You know those ideas that seem like such a good idea at the time and then later on you're staring at the ceiling and wondering, "What the _fuck_ did I do that for?" Yeah, that's the Army. I hadn't gotten into my bunk so much as collapsed into it. I was pretty sure of three things by my seventh day in the Army.

My drill sergeant was a demon sent from Hell to earth for the sole purpose of breaking down wanna-be soldiers

I had never been so fucking tired in my life.

I wouldn't have made it even this far if it hadn't been for Whitlock. And…

Missing Bella and Cassidy was like a physical ache in my gut.

We were in red phase, which was pretty much just another term for hell as far as I could see it. We did everything on a schedule, including eating, shaving, and shitting. I wanted to just lie in my bunk and die. At least then I'd get some rest. But tonight, we had been given some "free" time and I wanted to write Bella another letter.

My first letter to her had been short and sweet because I had had trouble keeping my eyes open while I had the pen in my hand. I wasn't any less tired tonight, but I was determined to at least put three paragraphs to paper. Above me, Whitlock was thumbing through a car magazine. I had discovered that he didn't have any family to write to, and I wondered if there was anything I could do about that.

_**Dear Bella,**_

_**Sorry that my first letter was so short. If you could have a terminal case of exhaustion, I think I'd be a candidate by now. I've never been so fucking tired in my life. We run a lot in the Army, I've discovered that. You take a run first thing in the morning, before breakfast. Then you eat. A lot. **_

_**To make sure you don't get fat, they take you for another run after breakfast. Then they laugh at you while you puke it all back up.. Then it's on to other PT and cleaning the barracks. Then there's some training. And then…you guessed it…a run. Then it's lunch time, which is followed by more training and more PT and more cleaning. For a change of pace after that, it's time for a run. My pants are already loose on me and they fit just fine a week ago. And my friend Whitlock's even skinnier than I am now.**_

_**Speaking of Whitlock, he doesn't have any family. Do you think you or my mom could drop him a postcard or something? His address is the same as mine - just address it to Pvt. Whitlock, Jasper. And if you're mailing a care package to me, maybe you could include a candy bar or something for him. That'd be great.**_

_**How is Cassidy? Has she grown much? Is she sleeping better? Are you okay getting up with her by yourself at night? Have you seen any of our friends lately? I miss you both so much. I love you. Always will. **_

_**Gotta go, my eyes keep slamming shut.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Edward**_

_Dear Edward,_

_I got your letters! WOW! It was soooo good to hear from you. I'm tired after just reading about how your typical day goes. I couldn't do it. I'm so proud of you for going through all of that for us._

_Cassidy is doing great. She'll be three months old soon, which is hard to believe. She's squirming around in her crib right now, but I think she'll give me another few minutes to finish writing this letter. She finally looks at the mobile you put above her crib now. It will hold her attention for awhile, and I usually take advantage of that time to pick up around the room or brush my teeth or something like that._

_My class is going well. It's English Comp so it's a subject I feel comfortable with and like. I got an "A" on my first writing assignment, so that felt good. Actually, it felt really good. I think even Cassidy was proud of me!_

_Don't worry about Whitlock. I've got that covered. I'm not saying more, but don't worry. Whitlock may get more mail than you do. Just kidding. But he won't feel left out. I know your mom is sending you a letter, and I think even Rosalie wrote you one. Not sure I'd open that one. It might be like those Howler letters from Harry Potter. I wouldn't put it past her._

_Okay, Cassidy's patience is at an end and even the mobile isn't working any more. I love you. I love you. I love you. You get the picture._

_Love, _

_Bella_

_**Dear Bella,**_

_**I got your letter! God, it even smelled like you. Keep them coming. It was such a great feeling to hear my name at mail call. Thanks for taking care of Whitlock. I swear he keeps me sane. He also keeps my ass out of trouble. He's my battle buddy and that means we do pretty much everything together. Oh, and there's no privacy in the Army. For anything. Seriously.**_

_**I love you. I miss you. I miss our girl, too. Tell her that Daddy loves her. A lot.**_

_**Gotta go, it's almost lights out.**_

_**Love you,**_

_**Edward**_

_**P.S. You might want to skip the lip prints, even though I fucking wanted to lick that shit off the envelope. I have to do ten push ups for every sticker or anything on any piece of mail. I hate push ups.**_

_**Oh, and don't tell Rosie about the sticker thing. I wouldn't put it past her to cover her letter with stickers just to fuck with me.**_


	39. Chapter 39: Dear Bella

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 39: Dear Bella**

_The brownies were delicious. Only next time, just send as many as I can eat in one minute. Whatever I don't eat in one minute gets thrown away. That hurts. So please only send six or seven.__ Drill Sergeant Farley laughed when he tossed the rest of them in the trash can. I wanted to cry, honestly I did. But I knew he'd only give me shit for it so I manned up and walked away. But I was totally tempted to grab them out of the garbage later and scarf them down. The only reason I didn't is because they were gone when I went back. Dumpster diving, it's the new thing._

_** ~~~RFL~~~**_

Got the pictures of Cassidy! She's gotten so big and that grin of hers is a killer. It's a good thing I know how to shoot a gun now, so when the boys start gathering I can pick them off one by one. Oh yeah, I was the best marksman in our company. Whit was right behind me, so I'm guessing he'll catch up by the next round.

**~~~RFL~~~**

_There's this guy in our company who is just fucking hilarious! The thing is, he doesn't mean to be. He's six and a half feet tall, no lie, and you'd expect him to be built like Emmett, but instead he's more along the lines of Ichabod Crane (see? I paid attention in English!) We've named him Lurch. Whit and I wat__ch out for him because he's a nice guy and all but tends to forget things…like his canteen. He forgot it last week and Drill Sergeant Farley about drilled him a new ass hole for that one. After that, me and Whit decided to keep an eye on our boy. Every morning we ask him if he's got everything he'll need for the day. ID? Check. Hat? Check (yes, he forgot that one day). Boots tied? Check…wait…no. Yeah, you get the picture._

_** ~~~RFL~~~**_

Whitlock got three letters today. You did a great job, baby! He was grinning like an idiot. He said Mom even sent him her cell phone number and told him to call her when he gets to make family calls. I'll try to make sure he does it. Apparently your friend Alice sent him a letter too, and even sent a picture. I think she put a spell on it or something because Whit looks like he's kind of dazed and confused. What did she say to him?

**~~~RFL~~~**

_That's weird that Alice wouldn't tell you what she wrote in Whit's letter. And he isn't talking. Believe me, I've tried. He just grins and shakes his head. He's an odd fucker, but I like him. Drill Sergeant Farley caught us sitting down in the laundry area when we were supposed to be doing our laundry. We got some shit for that. He's a demon from hell, I tell you. A demon. Drill Sergeant Farley that is, not Whit. Though Whit is pretty weird too. _

_** ~~~RFL~~~**_

Just read your letter where you told me how horny you are and you asked how I was doing in that department. That's the weird thing. I swear the Army puts shit in our food that keeps us from getting horny. Or maybe we're just too fucking tired to get it up. Whit said the same thing. Yeah, guys talk about that shit. Sue me. Lurch agrees. No morning wood around here, thank God. Our peckers definitely do not stand at attention. It's a fucking Army conspiracy, I tell you. I guess they figure all of that pent up aggression will make us better soldiers?

** ~~~RFL~~~**

_Glad to hear your class is going well. I always knew you were the smart one in the relationship. Let's just hope that Cassidy gets your brains. __Oh, and Drill Sergeant Farley is not a demon from hell, he actually __is__ Satan. Trust me on this one._

_** ~~~RFL~~~**_

So I got another rank today. I'm an E-2 now, which is just one step above horse shit. Now I'm the fly on the horse shit. Progress! I made it through the gas chamber, though I'm really glad you weren't here to see it. I had snot pouring out of my nose like a faucet, and I was drooling like Cujo. Not to mention that I wanted to puke, and I mean I really, REALLY wanted to puke. The drill sergeants lined up outside to watch us stumble out of the gas chamber. Our eyes were tearing up so bad that none of us could see. I think Lurch took out five guys when he fell into them. Six and a half feet of Ichabod Crane can do some damage. Oh, and you asked what his real name is. I guess I forgot to say since here no one really goes by their "real" name. Jasper is Whitlock or Whit (or when I'm pissed at him I call him Half Whit). His name is Eric Matthews, but he usually just answers to Lurch. You'd like him.

**~~~RFL~~~**

_Whatever Alice is saying to Jasper has that boy excited. I'm not sure I like that, but I guess he'll have to experience Alice for himself before he figures out it's like trying to kiss a tornado. How did Angela get to be so calm and Alice get to be so…Alice? A mystery for the centuries. Anyway, that being said, I was wondering if maybe you and Mom would be okay with me inviting Whit back home for Christmas. Otherwise he'll probably just stay here. There's no one waiting for him back in Texas and I was just thinking that maybe it'd be okay. Talk to my mother about it would you? Oh, and don't tell Alice. She'll blab.__ You know she will._

_** ~~~RFL~~~**_

Whit just about passed out when I told him that everyone wanted him to come home with me for Christmas. At first, I don't think he was going to do it. Then I showed him your letter, where you practically threatened my balls if I showed up without him and that did the trick. I told him I didn't want to lose my balls when I was finally going to have the chance to actually use them again. He could relate.

** ~~~RFL~~~**

_God, baby it was so good to hear your voice. Those Sunday calls are all that keep me going. Only 21 days until I'm home. I can't believe it! I'll have two whole weeks of sleeping in my own bed curled up next to you and listening for Cassidy in the morning. I can't fucking wait. I've saved all your letters and I'm bringing them home to free up some space in my bunk. Damn, baby, you've been so good about writing me. I'm ashamed to admit I haven't done as good a job. But I'll make up for it when I get home. I've missed you. All of you. But now I'm missing that hot little body. Damn… you know what I mean. I guess the Army is backing off the non-horny fairy dust in our food to allow us some fun when we get home._

_**~~~RFL~~~**_

Only 17 days. I'm counting that shit down. Cassidy looks so big in her pictures. I'll apologize now for the messed up shit on top of her head. I think she's going to have my hair. Sorry babe. She's got wild woman hair. Oh, and I want you to buy yourself something pretty to wear for me when I get home. I'm partial to blue or pink or red. Hell, if that underwear has a little lace I'm good to go. A thong would be nice too. On second thought, no underwear required. I've added a little extra something to our account and I don't want you to spend it on Cassidy. That money is strictly for you to spend on yourself. For my benefit of course because I'm a guy and I think with the wrong head. But you knew that about me. Love you, so much. Every day.

** ~~~RFL~~~**

_Ten days and counting. I don't think ten days has ever seemed like so long. The weather is suckville. We count ourselves lucky if it hits the freezing mark. Who the hell would actually choose to live here? I'd better shut up or this will be my first duty station and I'll have to go AWOL. Just kidding. I didn't go through all of this shit for nothing. But it was totally worth it because I did it for my girls._

** ~~~RFL~~~**

We leave the day after tomorrow! I can't fucking believe it. We've already started packing our gear. It doesn't seem real. I can't believe I'm finally going to hold you again and be able to kiss you. I can't believe I'm going to hold Cassidy again. I hope she doesn't cry when she sees me. She probably doesn't remember me. I know you said you've been showing her my picture every day, but I'm really worried she won't know me. I don't know why I'm writing this, because I'll be with you before this letter is. Holy shit, that sounds good.

**~~~RFL~~~~**

_**Bella's POV**_

I shifted Cassidy in my arms. She was getting heavier every day it seemed. My mom had a huge sign she'd made, which had shocked me. It said "Welcome Home Private Cullen!" She was proudly sporting a tee-shirt that said "Proud Army Mother-in-Law!" We'd come a long way. She'd even bought Cassidy a sweat shirt that said "Army Brat" which was in pink camouflage. She looked adorable, but then she always did.

My dad and Carlisle were off in a corner discussing whatever it was that men talked about when they had a few free moments. Esme was standing beside me, as restless and anxious as I was. It seemed to take forever to see that his flight had landed and was at the gate. Every moment after that lasted a year at least. Then we started to see a steam of people spilling out of the concourse and I stood on my tip toes.

I just kept looking for the uniform and before I knew it I saw two of them heading our way. Two men with bare heads and crisp military uniforms… was one of them Edward? From such a distance it was heard to tell. Then they got closer and I saw that one of them was looking hard at the crowd. I was sure he couldn't miss us and my mom's big ass sign hit me in the head when she started waving it and hollering. My mother…officially converted to Team Edward. Who would have guessed?

Then he spotted us, probably because of my mom's sign. He was jogging toward me. A second later I slammed up against him, almost forgetting that I was holding Cassidy. She started to fuss until Edward murmured to her. He squeezed us close, so close I couldn't breathe. I didn't care. I wrapped my free arm around him and started to cry. I leaned back and wiped the snot from my face. "You're so fucking skinny!" I cried. He felt like he'd lost twenty pounds or more. He shrugged and took Cassidy. She stared at him for a moment and then gave him that goofy grin she'd inherited from her father. That made me cry even harder. 

Our parents finally came forward, unable to give us any more privacy. They had to hug both him and Cassidy. He wasn't letting her go. I finally turned to see a tall, slim blond man waiting patiently off to the side. I hugged him too. "You must be Jasper," I said. He smiled shyly. I leaned in close and whispered, "Alice is coming over to see you later." His grin brightened considerably. I sensed a budding romance there, even though they'd never met. Interesting….

Then Edward was back with me, leaning in to smell my hair and whisper how beautiful I was. I rubbed my hand over his very short hair and told him that it made him look distinguished. He blushed a bit and shrugged again. We didn't say much. We didn't have to.

We were together again and there were no words to express how that made us feel. We walked out of the airport into the dim Washington sunshine.

And everything was absolutely perfect.


	40. Chapter 40: The Sweet Life

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

**Chapter 40:**** The Sweet Life**

_**Edward's POV**_

Walking into the house I'd grown up in felt unbelievable. There were times over the past three months that my life here had seemed more like a dream than a reality. My world had been reduced to the Army and letters from home. But walking into that house with Cassidy in my arms and Bella's arm around my waist was probably the best feeling in the world. I had to stop and look around me. It all looked the same. It smelled the same. It looked just like it was supposed to look for Christmas. I looked at the mantle and smiled, because this year there were two more stockings there – one for Bella and one for Cassidy.

I hauled Bella up close to my free side and gave her a long, hard kiss, ignoring the cat calls from Whitlock. "Welcome home," she whispered. It was really hard to believe that I'd woken up in Ft. Leonard Wood, Missouri but tonight I'd sleep beside Bella.

My mom immediately took charge and offered to show Jasper to his room. "I imagine you boys are tired from your trip," she said. "And Alice will be here later, so you might want to rest up," she added with a wink toward Whit.

"Yes, ma'am," he answered obligingly.

Then Dad looked at us. "Do you want us to take Cassidy for a while?" he offered, but I shook my head.

"I want to get to know my girls again," I told him.

I knew then that we had the greatest parents in the world because even though they were obviously dying to spend time with me (well, maybe not Charlie so much), they let us go upstairs. When I opened the door, I inhaled deeply. It was a combination of scents that hit me right in the gut. It was Bella's familiar scent along with baby powder – it was home. It was Bella and Cassidy.

I dropped my bag on the floor by the bed and carefully placed Cassidy in the middle. I curled up next to her and then Bella crawled up and settled in on Cassidy's other side. We brought our knees together, effectively cradling Cassidy between us. She seemed happy enough to be there. I reached across our daughter and put my palm against Bella's cheek. "Sometimes I thought this day would never come," I admitted softly. 

Cassidy was babbling and blowing raspberries and then rolling over to tug at my uniform, which apparently fascinated her. I was too tired and too content to even strip down to my tee-shirt.

"I know exactly what you mean," Bella answered and turned to kiss the palm of my hand. She smiled as our eyes met. "This is…perfect," she finally added. "To have you here, with Cassidy in between us. It's exactly what I needed and I didn't even realize it."

We kissed and it was tender and tentative, like we were getting to know each other all over again. Cassidy began squirming. "I think she's hungry," Bella said. She got up and grabbed a canister from the dresser. She quickly measured out some of the powder into a bottle and then filled it up with water from one of those water cooler/dispenser things that my parents had apparently added to the room. A moment later she offered me the bottle.

Cassidy obviously sensed that it was meal time because her squirming grew almost frantic. The sounds she made when she latched onto the bottle made me laugh. "God, you're a piggy," I told her. She didn't care because she kept on sucking it down. I scooped her up and scooted to an upright position against the headboard. "Hold up, Miss Piggy," I told her when she started to scream when I took the bottle away. "You've gotta burp or you're gonna hurl it all back up."

I put Cassidy over my shoulder and patted her back. It didn't take long for a belch worthy of Lurch to come belting out of her. "Holy crap," I muttered.

"I know," Bella said. "She's got game, huh?"

"It's embarrassing," I said. "On the up side, if she keeps that shit up as a teenager, no one will want to date her." _That_ thought made me happy.

Bella rolled her eyes at me. "Yeah, like that'll happen."

"It could," I said defensively.

She snorted with laughter and I settled Cassidy in my arms to finish the rest of her bottle. She sucked down the rest of it and was slurping air by the time I could work her mouth loose from the bottle. That girl had a grip. To my shock, she arched her back and began shrieking. That was certainly new. I looked at Bella. She shrugged.

"Just give her a minute and she'll settle down," Bella explained. "I think she's ready for some solid food, but I kind of wanted to wait."

"Why?" If Cassidy wanted steak, then I wanted to give it to her, if only to stop the screaming.

Abruptly, Cassidy stopped and blinked up at me like _I_ was the one who had been having a fit. Bella brushed her fingers over Cassidy's crazy hair. "I wanted you to be the first one to feed her solid food." She looked at me and smiled. "You've missed out on so much; I just wanted to make that _your_ thing with her."

"God, I love you."

**~~~RFL~~~**

Cassidy settled down for a nap after her little conniption, and it didn't take much for Bella and I to follow her in dream land. I woke up to hear a soft knock on the door. I sort of stared around me, disoriented for a moment. Then I felt Cassidy's small, warm weight against me and heard Bella's soft breathing. I smiled.

I was home. I had never appreciated that so much in all my life.

My mom peeked her head in. "Dinner's ready," she said quietly.

"Okay," I said, still feeling a little groggy. I hadn't slept that well in ages. "Let me change Cassidy and we'll be down."

I let Bella sleep for a few more minutes while I got Cassidy out of her clothes and put a fresh diaper on her. I dressed her in a little sleeper that Bella had on the changing table. Cassidy didn't seem at all hesitant about me doing the honors, in fact she grinned up at me a lot while she tried to put her toes in her mouth. Her efforts hindered the diaper changing but she didn't care. Apparently, they were pretty tasty toes.

I put her over my shoulder and then went to wake up Bella. Bella yawned but didn't open her eyes. She flopped back on the pillow and sighed. "Edward?"

"Yeah, babe?"

Her eyes popped open. "It wasn't a dream," she whispered.

**~~~RFL~~~**

Rose had arrived by the time we got downstairs. She had had a final exam that day so couldn't be at the airport. She hugged me tightly and then told me I was too skinny. I told her she was too. She slapped my arm for that and then informed me that she was, in fact perfect. It was so good to be home that I agreed with her, which had the added and unexpected benefit of rendering her speechless.

Mom had outdone herself with the meal. She and Renee had prepared enough food for a dozen or two regular guys, or two hungry and homesick soldiers and their families. There was roast beef and roasted chicken along with a dozen other dishes. And Mom's famous yeast rolls. Heaven.

The rolls were sitting in front of me and Whitlock was eyeing them. I could tell he wanted more. I had heard his moans of delight the first time he'd tasted one. I pushed the rolls a little farther away from him and pretended I didn't see him kind of motioning for me to pass them his way. That was my big mistake. I saw the look on his face just a second too late. It was the look he got when he was about to start a shit storm and sit back and watch it all go down.

"Hey, Hollywood," he said loudly. "Mind passing those rolls?"

And just like that, all conversation at the table stopped. I smothered the words that wanted to come out of my mouth and settled for a "What the fu…Whit?"

He grinned at me and pointed at the rolls again. "You heard me, _Hollywood_. I want some more rolls. No hogging the rolls, Hollywood."

The fucker had just outed me at my own damned dinner table. I had sworn him to secrecy about my nickname. Bella had asked me if I had been given one like Lurch and Whit. I had told her not really, which was pretty much a lie. But Whitlock, that smarmy, grinning asshole, had just blown it – sky high. I'd get him back if it was the last thing I did on God's green earth. I looked at him to let him see his doom.

He wasn't impressed.

It took a lot to rattle Whitlock.

It was Rose who broke the awful silence that had descended. First it was a gulp, like she'd come up for air after swimming a lap or two. Then it was sort of a choked off snort. Her eyes were watering and she was biting her lip, trying her best not to break out into full on laughter. It was a struggle she lost a moment later.

"Hollywood?" she finally burst out. "They call you _Hollywood_?"

Whitlock grinned at her and nodded. "They sure do," he told her. "Know why?"

"Whitlock," I ground out between clenched teeth. "Don't do it," I warned.

"Why?" Rose asked in a strangled voice.

Whitlock had the balls to look at me and bat his lashes like a prom queen. "Cuz he's so damned perty," he drawled.

That was all it took for the rest of the table to about bust a gut laughing at me. Charlie Swan was actually crying he was laughing so hard. Bella tried hard not to join in, she really did. But it was just too much for her.

The clincher was when Cassidy decided that whatever was making the grown-ups laugh had to be funny, so she chortled along with the rest of them. Then she clapped her hands and farted – or filled her diaper. I didn't really want to know which.

It was at that point that the door bell rang and I discovered that the phrase 'saved by the bell' was actually true. I plopped Cassidy down in Bella's lap and made a run for the door. I was never so happy to see Alice in my entire life.

I hugged her. She leaned back and looked at me like I was nuts.

"Uh...welcome home?" she said uncertainly.

I dragged her into the dining room and Whitlock was already on his feet, running a hand over his buzzed hair. Her eyes gravitated toward him and I was pretty sure she didn't have a clue that there was anyone else in the room. She sort of glided over to him and he stepped away from the table. He took her hand and brushed a kiss over his knuckles.

I was _so_ going to ride his ass over that.

Then he smiled at her, a slow lazy smile that had her blushing. "You sure did keep me waiting long enough," he said.

"Sorry," Alice replied quietly. "The delay was unavoidable."

He tilted his head. "I think I want to hug you," he said. "Is that permissible?"

Trust Whitlock to pull out the Southern Gentleman card when he wanted to impress.

She grinned at him. "Not only permissible, I think it's practically required."

Then he hauled her up against him and stuck his nose in her hair and breathed deep.

I grinned as I watched him, because payback was a bitch and I'd just been given the key to my revenge.

Life was sweet.


	41. Chapter 41: Reconnecting

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

_**Author's Note: We will be speeding up again, but I thought these moments deserved their own chapter. Thank you for reading!**_

**Chapter 41:**** Reconnecting**

_**Edward's POV**_

After dinner, Bella's parents said their farewells. Charlie clapped me on the back and told me I was doing a good job. I figured that was a pretty good compliment coming from Charlie. Renee even gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me that I had looked very handsome in my uniform. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I thanked her and we walked them out.

My mom gave us some more quiet time and told Bella that we should take Cassidy into the living room and let her look at the Christmas tree. I wanted to give Whitlock some shit, but he and Alice had disappeared. Surprise, surprise. Rose said she had some stuff to do, which I took to mean she had to _do_ Emmett. I didn't ask. I didn't want to know.

Bella spread out a blanket for Cassidy and put her down. Cassidy kept her eyes on the twinkling lights of the tree and kept kicking her legs in excitement. It was about the cutest thing I had ever seen. I was shocked at how much she had changed and grown in the few months I'd been away. It made me sad too, to realize how much of her growing up I might miss. Some of us with kids back home had talked about it, and even though we knew it was a sacrifice, we were all prepared to make it. We had made a choice and that choice wasn't an easy one, but it was one we could be proud of. Still, it wasn't easy.

I leaned in close to Bella and closed my eyes, letting it all in. The scent of Bella and of Cassidy, the sound of Bella's breathing and the baby sounds that our daughter made, the sounds of my parents in the kitchen, washing dishes and talking quietly. All of it combined to remind me that I was home.

I felt soft lips on my neck and turned to see Bella's brown eyes staring at me. "Your mom offered to take Cassidy for the night," she said quietly, blushing a little bit.

"Oh," I said with a frown. I didn't want to miss time with my girls. Then I realized. "Oh…" And I grinned at her. "Sounds like a plan."

Bella looked relieved. "I hope you don't mind, I just wanted…I _need _tonight."

I needed tonight too. I needed to reconnect with Bella without having the worry of being interrupted. The day would come soon when we wouldn't have obliging grandparents around to help us, and I wanted to enjoy it while we could. As much as I loved and adored Cassidy, I needed to _be_ with Bella. Come morning, I'd be Daddy again. I wanted that part of my life too. Tonight, however, I needed to just be Edward. I kissed her. "Me too," I told her. "I need you."

And my cock was reminding me of just how long it had been since I had been buried in the softness of Bella's body. We'd barely had time to resume our sex life after the birth of the baby when it had been time for me to ship out. Whatever the Army had given me to reduce those urges had sure worn off in a hurry, and my body was ready and anxious to go.

We spent an hour just sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch, watching Cassidy watch the lights. I held Bella close and every now and then I would talk to Cassidy and she watched me with bright, excited eyes. I knew I might have been prejudiced, but I was pretty sure she was the cutest damn baby ever born. And smart too, obviously.

Cassidy started getting a little fussy and Bella hopped up. "I want to see about mixing up cereal for you to feed her."

A few minutes later, Cassidy was settled on Bella's lap and I was trying to spoon some very unappetizing goop into her little mouth. She wasn't very impressed and kept trying to push it back out with her tongue. She ended up wearing more of it than went into her mouth, but that didn't seem to bother her. Bella took pictures of the whole messy process. Then we took her upstairs and I gave her a bath in her little baby tub.

She liked her bath a lot, more so than she had when I left. She kicked and wiggled and gave happy screams the whole time, splashing for all she was worth. I was as wet as she was before it was all over, but I was okay with that. I put her into a sleeper and then my mom knocked on the door. She smiled at me, and kissed me. "We've got a crib set up in our bedroom," she said quietly. "I can take her now if you're ready." I looked over her shoulder to see Dad standing there too. They looked like kids on Christmas morning, excited to have Cassidy to themselves.

Bella and I gave her a kiss and then put her in my mom's arms. I closed and locked the door behind her. "Come on," I said. "Let's take a shower.

We were quiet as we got undressed. I ran my fingers down her arm and she shivered a little. She placed a soft kiss on my chest and I had to resist the urge to grab her and fuck her up against the wall. I didn't want that for our first time back together. Much. I made sure the water was warm enough and then pulled her in with me. I took her favorite body wash and worked up a good lather on my hands and took my time washing her. There was something really intimate about doing something like that, something that was even sexier than actual sex in a way.

Her skin was soft and warm under my hands and she smelled like her peach-mango body wash. Then I washed her hair and helped her rinse it. I was going to give myself a quick wash but Bella shook her head and smiled. Her hands were slow and careful as she moved over me. She took her time, soaping up every sore muscle. When I was as clean as I could possibly be, and smelling as girly as she did, she wrapped her arms around me and simply leaned against me, both of us under the spray of water.

When the hot water finally started to fizzle out, I turned off the shower and reached for a towel. I wrapped her up warm and tight, then toweled off myself. I picked her up, wrapped in her towel, and carried her to the bed. As much as I hated to admit it, Drill Sergeant Farley had busted my ass so often that I had gotten some pretty impressive muscles. And then I shut down that part of my brain.

Carefully, I laid her down. I brushed back her wet hair and kissed her, making this one count. It was slow and deep and got me revved up in a hurry. Her hips began making restless movements against me, and my cock went from hard to titanium in about thirty seconds. My hands plucked at the towel and then moved it out of the way. I kissed her throat, moving my lips down to her nipples. I licked first one and then the other and she groaned and tugged at my hair. '

"There's not much to hold onto," she teased in a breathless voice.

I palmed her boobs, letting my thumbs flick over her nipples. "I've got ears," I reminded her with a grin. She laughed and the laugh turned to a gasp when I began suckling at one breast.

"Oh shit," she muttered.

My fingers fluttered down between her thighs and she was warm and wet for me. I groaned at the feel of her. It had been so damned long. Fuck, I wasn't going to last long that was for damned sure. "We're still covered on birth control?" I whispered in her ear. The doc had taken care of that before I left, but I wanted to make sure. As much as I loved Cassidy, I wasn't ready to do that again for a while.

"Good and ready to go," she assured me. "Hurry," she urged.

"I wanted to take my time," I started to argue, though why in the hell I bothered I wasn't sure. All I really wanted to do was sink inside of her. Now.

"You inside of me is all I care about right now," Bella panted. "Now. I'm serious." I sort of laughed at her tone even as I moved between her thighs. The head of my dick nudged at her and she hissed and arched her back, effectively putting me just inside of her, almost where she wanted me to be. I groaned and gave up the fight and thrust all the way home.

She gave a short cry that made my balls tighten it sounded so good. I wanted to pound into her and she seemed to have the same idea because her heels began drumming on my ass, urging me to move already. I gave into the impulse and let my caveman take over. Bella didn't seem to mind. In fact, she egged it on.

"Oh God, Edward," she whimpered into my ear. "I've missed you so much."

That only made me pound harder, because I had missed her like I'd miss a limb. She was just fucking part of me, and there was nothing I could do about it. Right now, I had to be inside of her, I had to make that connection. I was grunting and panting and saying her name, and none of it was coherent, but neither of us cared. I felt her start to tighten around me and I began moving faster. I was desperate. Needy. I wanted to explode. I needed to explode inside of her.

She gave a soft cry and I _did_ explode and it was the best damn orgasm of my life. I felt it in my balls, my dick, all the way up from my fucking toes. It seemed to go on forever, and it took me a minute to kind of focus in on Bella again. She was lying under me, her eyes closed, a sort of dreamy smile on her face.

I collapsed onto the bed, careful to keep most of my weight off of her, but she sort of tugged at me so that I felt like I was squishing her. She sighed and ran a hand down my back. "I want to feel you," she whispered. Since I was one hundred percent okay with that, I obliged.

I held her, kissing her every now and then, letting my hands get reacquainted with her body. As I held her and touched her, I realized just how much these kinds of moments were going to mean to me. We'd be apart a lot in the next few years, so the moments we spent together were going to mean so much more.

There was just one problem.

How the hell was I going to leave them again?

**~RFL~**

The next morning it was early when I heard movement downstairs. Since I figured my parents wouldn't get up that early without any prodding, I was guessing that Cassidy was awake. I looked at Bella and I knew my parents would keep an eye on the baby long enough for me to get a little morning action. 

But Bella looked so tired that I didn't have the heart to wake her. I was pretty sure she hadn't been able to sleep in even once since Cassidy was born. So, I told my dick to behave, and I threw on some sweatpants and a tee-shirt and I went downstairs to find my baby girl.

She was in her grandfather's arms as Dad struggled to start some coffee and hold her at the same time. "Here," I said. "Let me help you with that." He started to hand me the coffee pot but I plucked my girl from his arms instead.

"Ha!" I mocked. "Like I'd miss up a chance to hold this cutie." She blew a raspberry at me, apparently quite pleased with her skills. She made a cute face at me and then abruptly, her little face crumpled and she started to cry. I was about to ask my Dad what was wrong, but I decided that I'd better figure this out on my own. I moved to the counter and held up an empty bottle and shook it at her. She immediately zeroed in on the bottle, so hungry was probably a good guess.

I remembered how to do the bottles so it wasn't complicated; it was just difficult to do as I held her in one arm. I was even more amazed at how much shit Bella had learned to do with one hand. Within a few minutes, Cassidy was sucking down a bottle with a lot of noise and wriggling. She was definitely an enthusiastic eater.

My dad brought me a cup of coffee that I drank almost as fast as my daughter was attacking her bottle. I rubbed at my eye with one hand and yawned. "So," Dad said. "How are you?" I realized that we hadn't really had a chance to talk too much with everything going on. "What's it like?"

I shrugged. "It's different than I expected. Easier in some ways, way harder in others."

"I've been very proud of you, Edward," Dad said. "What you've done isn't easy by any means, but you've never complained."

I snorted. "You haven't heard me bitching when Drill Sergeant Farley gets my ass up at 4 a.m. then."

Dad smiled. "You've never been one to greet the dawn," he agreed. "Still, I can see that you've adjusted."

"No choice really," I said. "It is what it is. I made the choice. Sometimes it sucks, but most of the time it's okay. Besides," I added with a smile at the little glutton in my arms. "It's for them, so that makes it worth it."

Dad smiled at Cassidy too. "She's pretty darned special," he agreed. "She's brought more joy to this household than I would have believed possible."

"She's not bad for a kid who got stuck with two idiots for parents," I said with a grin.

"Not idiots," Dad argued. "Just young, but both of you have certainly met the challenges head on. Cassidy is lucky to have you both as her parents."

And I knew in that instant that my dad's words were the best compliment I had ever had. I got a little choked up, so instead of sobbing like a pussy, I just nodded and got up for another cup of coffee. Of course, Dad was clearing his throat too, so I was pretty sure I wasn't alone in getting a little emotional. But we'd never admit it, of course. Guys just didn't do that shit.

Cassidy grinned at me and seemed to call "Bullshit."

I hugged her close, trying to imprint her smell on my brain, where'd I'd never, ever forget it.


	42. Chapter 42: Without Me

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

_**My apologies for the delay. It's a busy time of year for us. My daughter will get "pinned" as an RN in a few weeks and I'm loving my new job. I also made the decision to go to grad school, so I've been studying for the GRE. Thank you for your patience!**_

**Chapter 42: Without Me**

_**Edward's POV**_

It was Christmas day before I knew it. I hated the fact that my leave was flying by so fast. I felt like I had just gotten home the day before, but already, almost a week of my time with Bella and Cassidy was gone. Gone.

Even though both time and money had been tight, I had managed to pick up Bella and Cassidy some gifts at the PX. I had gotten Bella a charm bracelet along with a charm that had Cassidy's birth stone, and a charm that represented me, an Army boot. It was kind of hokey, and I knew that, but honestly, the selection hadn't been all that big. I got Cassidy some kind of play mat thing that I had had to take out of the box and roll up in my bag to bring it home.

I even got my parents and Bella's parents a little something, but I was on a budget and I didn't think they'd mind that they were small gifts. What our parents got us was kind of surprising, but it shouldn't have been. They had all gotten us tons of things for setting up our own household. It hit me that in a few short months, Bella and I would be on our own, no parents there to run to when we had questions or were worried.

My parents had made it clear that Bella and Cassidy were welcome to stay with them even after I graduated from Basic. But Bella and I both agreed that unless I either got deployed right away we wanted to stay together. So it wouldn't be long before we'd be completely on our own – alone – with Cassidy.

That scared the shit out of me.

So I decided that I wouldn't think about that yet. I wouldn't even think about the fact that in a little over a week, I'd be back on a plane to Missouri. Or that I'd be sleeping without Bella beside me or be able to hear the little sounds that Cassidy made.

Because if I thought about that I was absolutely going to lose my shit.

** ~~RFL~~**

"Hey," I heard Whitlock say. I turned. I was in the kitchen trying to decide what I wanted for a snack. I had never truly appreciated the luxury of being able to eat what I wanted when I wanted. I swore I'd never take that simple fact for granted again.

"Hey," I replied. I smirked. Whit had a huge hickey on the left side of his neck. I glanced around. And a matching one on the right side. "Whatcha been doing?" I asked.

He shrugged, acting all casual. As if. "Nothing much," he said and began his own search for sustenance.

"Really?" I asked. "Because the sides of your neck look like someone's used you for a chew toy." I laughed. "Or should I say suck toy."

"Shut up," Whit snapped.

"So you and Alice, huh?" I asked, kind of in disbelief. It had become increasingly apparent that those two had hit it off big time. I had barely seen Whitlock because he was usually off somewhere with Alice – apparently locking lips. Or other body parts. Gross.

He shrugged again. "I like her," he admitted quietly. He took a good look at my face. "What's the problem?"

I shook my head. "No problem here, buddy," I said. "I'm just kind of surprised."

"Why?"

"Well, I guess I just think of Alice as that annoying friend of Bella's," I confessed. Whitlock started looking pissy, so I put up my hands in surrender. "I'm just saying," I reminded him. "I've got Bella, so pretty much every other woman is…not on my radar, I guess."

"Good," Whitlock said. "Because I'd have to beat your ass."

"Like you could," I scoffed.

"Oh I could," Whit replied. "And easily. So easily that it would cause your mama to cry with the shame of it."

"Better watch it, Whit, your Texas is showing," I teased, which I knew absolutely pissed him off. I was kind of hoping it would degenerate into something physical. Apparently, I had missed hand-to-hand combat training a little more than I expected. It was a great way to blow off some steam.

"You just don't know when to shut your pie hole do you, Hollywood?" he goaded.

I narrowed my eyes at him. I still had to get him back for that shit. I had an idea, and I was pretty sure that Rosie would be up for it. Now that I was gone from home, she'd suddenly discovered that she was actually sort of fond of me. I just smiled at him and he twitched, shifting on his feet. _That__'__s__right,__motherfucker.__I__don__'__t__forget_.

We were both quiet for a long moment, resuming our hunt for the best snack. I finally settled on two turkey sandwiches and Whit opted for a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal. The guy had a sweet tooth. We ate our food without talking, kind of used to the silence from boot camp. The drill sergeants liked to use everything as an incentive or punishment, talking at mealtimes included. After he was done, Whitlock drank the last bit of milk in his bowl while I popped the last bite of sandwich into my mouth.

"It's kind of weird thinking about going back," he finally said.

He didn't need to explain that remark. I understood. While we were here, we were insulated, existing in a strange sort of limbo. We were soldiers, but we were also just guys hanging out with the people we cared about and had missed. Well, at least in my case. And I wasn't too sure that Whit hadn't missed Alice, even though he hadn't even met her until quite recently. Something about the two of them connected and even I could see it.

"It's going to be hard going back," I agreed. "I'm going to miss Bella and Cassidy a lot." The understatement of the fucking century, that was.

Whit nodded thoughtfully. "You think Alice will keep writing me?" he asked.

I smirked. "If the frequency of how often her tongue is down your throat is any indication, I'd say it's a safe bet."

Whit blushed a bit, which was hilarious.

"I like her, man," he admitted quietly. "A lot…"

"Really? I had no idea," I teased. "And discounting the fact that you told me that about thirty seconds ago."

"You think a girl like her could wait around for a guy like me?" Whit asked.

I shrugged. "I dunno, but I do know that I'm not the one you should b asking. Ask her. She'll tell you straight, but you've gotta be straight with her."

He thought about it for a moment and then nodded. "Go get into bed with your wife, Hollywood."

He was up and out of the kitchen before I could give him shit about the nickname. But I did take his advice and slipped in between the warm sheets and pulled Bella close to me while I still could.

** ~~RFL~~**

The night I had been dreading finally arrived. In the morning, Whit and I were due to leave Forks and head back to Armpit, Missouri. I wouldn't be getting into a big, warm bed and sleeping curled up next to my wife, listening for the sounds of our daughter waking up. I would be in a cold, hard bunk listening to the sounds of guys snoring.

It wasn't exactly an even trade.

But I'd have just six weeks left when I got back. Six short weeks and then Bella and I would start our lives together – our real lives. It would be the three of us, and as scary as that shit was, I was looking forward to it. At least, I hoped we'd get the chance to do that before I got deployed the first time. It would be nice to have some family time. I decided that being on our own didn't scare me anymore. I wanted it more than anything.

I fed Cassidy her bottle, the last one of the night, and cuddled with her a good long time before I finally put her in her crib. She gave a soft, shuddering sigh and then settled into her favorite position, curled up on her belly, her little butt sticking up in the air with her arms tucked underneath her. It looked as uncomfortable as hell, but she usually turned over into her turtle imitation as soon as anyone put her to bed. I brushed my hand over her soft curls, marveling at how beautiful she was.

My parents had offered to take Cassidy for the night, but I couldn't bear not to have her there with us. I wanted to hear her soft little noises and know that she was there with me. Bella had been in a quiet mood all day, and I hadn't been much more talkative.

We both dreaded tomorrow.

I pulled Bella into my arms as soon as I got into bed. I wondered if she'd want to make love. I hoped she would, but I wasn't going to push it. I didn't want to do anything to ruin our last night together. Then she kissed me and let her hands trail down my chest and I figured it was a go. I moaned with relief and rolled, tucking her underneath me so that I could feel every inch of her pressed up against me. She was so soft and warm.

We kissed softly, our hands wandering over each other with lazy desire. It was going to be quiet, due to Cassidy sleeping just about six feet away. We didn't talk. We just touched. Reconnected. Made memories with our lips and our hands.

When I finally thrust inside of her, I stopped and closed my eyes, trying to savor the feeling of being so much a part of her. Then I moved and Bella arched her back, inviting me in. I kissed her, trying to tell her without words how much I loved her and how much I missed her.

I think she understood.

The moment I came, I whispered her name and she responded with an equally soft, "I love you."

As I pulled her into my arms and snuggled up with her, I had to fight the hot sting of tears that threatened. No tears. No regrets. Just tonight. It was ours.

I just held Bella I didn't sleep. I couldn't. Instead, I memorized her face all over again. A few times I got up and looked at Cassidy, the dim light from the bathroom revealing all of her tiny perfection.

My girls.

My perfect girls.

How the hell was I going to live without them?

**~~RFL~~**

Whitlock and I were back in uniform, and it felt oddly familiar and strange at the same time. We were back in the airport, waiting to go through security. One thing I had been too anxious to notice before were the nods we got from a lot of people. A few of them walked up and shook our hands, thanking us for our service. I didn't know how to tell them that we hadn't served shit yet. I mentioned that to Bella and she just smiled.

"You're leaving your family for them and they know it," she reminded. "So yes, you've served."

I supposed she was right.

I held Cassidy until the very last second. I told my parents and Bella's parents goodbye still holding Cassidy in my arms. Mom cried. So did Renee. Charlie and my dad just looked uncomfortable as they held them. Whit and Alice were in the corner, foreheads touching and talking to each other.

Then it was Bella and me and Cassidy.

I couldn't talk very well. I managed to tell Cassidy I loved and that her daddy would miss her. Then I was hugging Bella so tight that I worried I'd hurt her. But she didn't seem to mind and in fact, pressed up against me more.

I finally handed her Cassidy. My arms felt empty.

We kissed, and I told her I loved her and I'd see her soon.

The next thing I knew, Whitlock and I were going through security. I gave one last look over my shoulder and saw Bella standing in the terminal, a crowd of people between us. But I only saw her and Cassidy. I gave her a wave and I could see she was crying. I wanted to join her, but figured that I shouldn't – being in uniform and all.

Then I turned and Whitlock and I were walking toward our gate. We boarded the plane. When the plane took off, I looked down at Washington and I tried to imagine Bella and Cassidy in the car, heading back to Forks.

Without me.

**Another note: I would like to remember my grandfather at this time, who proudly served his nation during three wars: World War II, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War. My father also served, but I think my grandfather, far more than any man I can think of, deserves to be remembered on this day. He survived three military plane crashes, was away from his family for years, and almost died in the service of his nation several times. I miss you, Papa. You were bad ass! :D**


	43. Chapter 43: The Army Life

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

_**Author's Note: I apologize for the long delay. My only excuse is that I think my muse decided to winter in the Bahamas without me. She apparently took mercy on me and has finally returned, though that bitch was tanned and a little sulky. I don't know what she's complaining about. I've been the one working and staring at a computer screen with nothing inspirational on the horizon. One more chapter and it is almost completely written. In fact, the last chapter has been written almost since this story began. Thank you all for accompanying me on this long and sometimes twisted journey. This chapter will cover a lot, mostly because I don't think we need a day-by-day account of this time. I wanted to give a broad stroke picture of what their lives are like. I hope I succeeded.**_

**Chapter 43: The Army Life**

_**Bella's POV**_

The wind was strong and bitterly cold, but nothing could dim the pride I felt as I had watched Edward "graduate" from boot camp. When it was all over, he was an MP in the United States Army and I was, officially and finally, a real Army wife. It was a title I could wear with pride now.

In the weeks since Edward had left us to go back to Missouri, Cassidy and I had both done some growing up. I had started another online course and was doing well in it. Cassidy had taken to solid foods and was making the most adorable faces. My mother had surprised me yet again by stepping in and taking care of Cassidy one afternoon a week so that I could complete all of my assignments. She had even changed her work schedule to do so.

Renee Swan, grandmother extraordinaire. Who would have thought? Of course, Esme was not to be outdone and the two of them were engaged in a friendly rivalry, trying to see who could "out Nana" the other. I didn't mind because all of their help had lightened my load and given me time to accept the new reality of my life.

That new reality meant that most of our things were packed up back in Forks. Edward had gotten his first duty station and we were, as a family, headed to Kentucky. Edward was leaving first and had already started the process of securing on-base housing for us. Edward's parents and my own had, at first, tried to convince me to stay in Washington, but I wasn't having it.

Yes, it would be difficult. Yes, everything would fall on my shoulders. Yes, we would be alone and on our own for the very first time with a baby and the demands of Edward's job. But that was how things were meant to be, and if we were really going to be a family then we needed to start out as we meant to go on.

And that meant being together.

We wouldn't be truly alone, however. It seemed that Whitlock and Lurch would be going to Kentucky too. They, of course, wouldn't be much help with a baby, but at least I would know someone there. Whitlock kept talking about Alice, which was no surprise since_ her_ conversations seemed to be liberally sprinkled with Jasper's name too. I had a sneaking suspicion that Alice would find some excuse to visit me in Kentucky. I also had a feeling that I wouldn't see much of her once she arrived.

Rose was taking the news of our leaving hard. She had fallen in love with Cassidy, though she tried very hard to pretend that it wasn't so. She had already informed us that she would be visiting us as often as possible and that she was quite happy to crash on the sofa.

Now, if only we had a sofa…

**~~RFL~~**

_Six months later…_

Cassidy woke up with a laugh. She was an unusually happy baby. Unless she wasn't getting her way of course. Then her temper showed through just like the red in her hair. Things had certainly changed in the last six months.

For one, Alice and Whit had gotten engaged. That had surprised exactly no one. They were getting married next month…just two weeks before Whit and Edward deployed. Because in exactly six weeks and two days, Edward and I were going to endure our first deployment. Edward was worried and trying to pretend he wasn't. I was terrified and didn't even bother pretending to be anything else.

Lurch was going with them, since they were all in the same company. Lurch, better known as Eric Matthews (no relation to the television character though we liked to rib him about it) was truly a gentle giant. At six and a half feet, he was built more along the lines of Ichabod Crane than a linebacker, and his big feet still tripped over stuff most of the time. But he loved spending time with Cassidy and was good with her. I had had hopes that he and Rose, newly single, would hit it off. No such luck, but I was still keeping my eyes open and on the lookout. Lurch was too sweet a guy to remain unattached. And I had hopes that eventually he would grow into his feet and be able to walk across a room without tripping.

Alice was going to move to Kentucky too, and we had resolved to help each other survive this deployment. I was taking more classes now, mostly online. The time would come when I'd have to actually get into the classroom on a full-time basis but I was actually looking forward to that. There was a daycare on base and Cassidy was on the waiting list.

Things were moving forward. Like time. Time was rushing in fact. Every single moment of those six weeks and two days would be over in a blink.

And I wasn't ready.

Not by a long shot.

**~~RFL~~**

_**Edward's POV**_

I listened to her breathing. I had sixteen nights left to do that and I didn't want to waste a moment. The day after tomorrow, I'd be Whit's best man at their wedding. They were keeping it small and having it on base. Alice's family had spent a few days in Nashville seeing the sights. Angela had gotten here early to help Alice with last minute details. Whit was just trying to stay out of his bride's way.

Good thinking.

Bella stirred in her sleep and in the dim light coming in through the window, I could see the familiar frown line appear between her eyebrows. She must be dreaming. I brushed my fingers along the line, watching with satisfaction when it slowly eased. I hadn't meant to wake her up, but her lashes fluttered up and she smiled at me, lazy and slow.

I got hard just seeing that smile. She must have guessed because her hand moved with unerring accuracy to my dick and she took hold of it and gave me a squeeze. There were certain advantages to married life, I decided as she moved and settled on top of me, sitting up and taking me in a slow and sleepy rhythm.

I settled my hands on her hips, not to dictate the pace but just to enjoy the feel of her moving over me. I got so busy looking at the bounce of her boobs, that it wasn't until I felt something hot and wet drop on my chest that I looked up and saw she was crying. Silently, she wept even as she kept moving, her hips slowly undulating as she took her pleasure and gave me mine in return.

I didn't need to ask what was wrong.

God, I knew.

What if I didn't come back?

I sat up and held her close to my chest, whispering how much I loved her against her skin and praying that I'd get a chance to come home to her.

Please God….

**~~RFL~~**

_**Bella's POV**_

I sighed as I put away the last of Cassidy's toys. She had been in rare form today, tossing things right and left and laughing like a demented little angel as she did it. I couldn't even get mad at her, because the look of satisfaction on her face as she'd wreaked havoc had been too adorable. I had even taken a picture and emailed it to Edward.

Edward.

In just a month he'd be home. It had been a long deployment, though not as long as they had been told at first. Just nine months so far. Just nine months – a lifetime.

Alice and I had commiserated with each other, indulging in a little self-pity and then giving each other pep talks when we decided enough was enough. Alice said she and Whit wanted to start trying for a baby when he got back.

I told her she was nuts. But she just shrugged and I had a feeling that I'd soon be an aunt, no matter my opinion on the subject. I loved Cassidy, I really did, but I wasn't sure Alice had any idea how much work a kid was. Maybe I should make her baby-sit more.

After cleaning up the aftermath of hurricane Cassie, I got on the computer and paid some bills – always a surefire way to put myself in a bad mood. We made our bills, but there was never a lot of money left over at the end of the month. Oh well, payday was coming. Yesterday the car had started making a funny noise and I hoped it wasn't going to die on us. Paying for another car would definitely stretch the budget thin. I decided not to mention it to Edward. He had enough to worry about. We'd take care of it when he got home, and if something happened before then I'd handle it the best I could.

I shut off the computer and rubbed at my eyes. I still had an essay to write, but it wasn't due for three days. I decided to make an attempt at a decent night's sleep. Sometimes our bed was too empty and lonely and I'd end up crashed on the couch, but tonight I thought I just might be tired enough to manage.

I brushed my teeth and crawled into bed. Pretty soon I was out.

The phone was ringing in my dream. I lay there, curled up under the cozy blanket for a moment and tried to ignore the sound. Shit. It wasn't a dream.

I blinked at the clock. 3:47 blinked back at me.

Not good.

A phone call at three in the morning was never _good_ news. I swallowed hard and tried to tell myself that if the worst had happened, I would be getting a knock on my door. "Hello?"

"Baby?" It was Edward and I felt my heart start up again.

"Edward," I breathed. It had been two months since I had heard his voice. He sounded… "What's wrong?"

"It's bad, Bella," he gasped. "Oh God…"

"Are you okay?" I asked hurriedly.

"I'm fine," he assured me and I heard him take a deep breath. "I've got some fucking painful road rash and a few holes in me, but nothing too bad."

Holes. Had he been shot? "Edward?" I couldn't help but say his name again. It was like I had to reassure myself that I was actually talking to him and he was okay. Then a horrible thought struck me. "Is Whit okay?" Alice would be devastated and –

"He's okay, a little banged up like me, but okay," Edward said. Then I heard something that sounded like a sob. "Bella…it's Lurch."

And I knew what he was going to tell me.

"He's dead, Bella," Edward said in a choked voice. "You'll hear about it soon, I guess." Yes, anytime there was a casualty from Ft. Riley we all heard about it.

I took a deep breath. "Are you okay?"

There was a long pause. "Not really," Edward admitted. "I was there." That was all he'd say but it was enough. I could only imagine what had happened. And I didn't want to.

"Oh God."

The line began to crackle and I knew what that meant. We'd lose our connection soon. "I just wanted you to know I was okay," he said quickly. "I love-"

"I love you too," I said to an empty line. "I love you too."


	44. Chapter 44: Epilogue

I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

_**Author's Note: I have no excuse for not updating sooner. I just haven't felt like writing. My apologies.**_

**Epilogue:**

_Four and a half years later…_

Today I am, for the first time in what seems like a lifetime, a civilian again. It's an odd feeling, knowing that I won't be reporting for duty at the base tomorrow. Odd, but liberating in the very best of ways. A giggle from the living room distracts me and I stand in the doorway, watching my girls. Cassidy is putting something in a box that Bella has already labeled. Tomorrow all of those boxes will be put into a truck and be on their way to Virginia, where we'll be staying temporarily. My dad knows a doctor who has a house for rent and he's willing to let us live there at a great price while I'm in training, even though our lease will be very short term. I don't mind my dad helping as much now that I know I can stand on my own two feet.

My spot at the FBI Academy at Quantico was confirmed several months ago. I am that much closer to realizing my dream. Then I hear Cassidy giggle and I realize that isn't true. I _already_ have my dream and it is standing there in the living room. Things have gone amazingly well for us, especially after such a rocky start. Bella graduated with her teaching degree just a month ago. In four months, Cassidy will become a big sister.

Right now my little girl is wearing a sparkly pink tutu, cowboy boots, and a sweatshirt with a skull and crossbones on it. This ensemble is crowned by a bandana wrapped around her head Jack Sparrow style. She's going through a pirate phase. I have hopes it won't be long-lived. I'm_ really_ tired of being ordered to walk the plank.

Needless to say, Cassidy has her own unique sense of style. Some of her outfits make us shake our heads in wonder. The tutu is a repeat performance; it's one of her favorites. Likewise the cowboy boots, though she usually pairs those with a pair of checkered leggings or one of my tee-shirts and a tiara. She also likes to wear my Army cap, the one with my name on the back. "That's my name too, Daddy," she explained rolling her eyes one day when I asked her why she wore it. Apparently, my baby girl thinks I'm a bit of a dumb ass at times. She's probably right. Bella would say she's _definitely_ right. I'm clearly outnumbered, but it's cool.

Raising Cassidy has sometimes been more of a farce than an after-school special, but we've managed to muddle through. Somehow, she turned out pretty damned fantastic, despite our screw ups. She is most definitely her own person. Our Cassidy not only marches to the beat of her own drummer, she hears her own damned orchestra.

Bella turns and I can see the curve of her belly. Cassidy pats it. She had informed us months ago that she preferred a baby brother and that we were, under no circumstances, supposed to bring home a sister. This had surprised us until she confessed that she wanted to remain our "onliest" girl. First thing tomorrow morning, just before we fly back home to Forks for a visit, we are hopefully going to find out the sex of the baby. Bella and I played rock-paper-scissors to figure out who had to break the news to Cassidy if the baby is a girl. We finally decided that we'd let my mother do it. That's what grandmas are for, right? If it's a boy, then we're all home free.

Last month, Bella and I agreed that if we do have a boy, we'll name him Eric Matthew Cullen. Whitlock thought that was a great idea, and said he wished he'd thought of it himself, even though they don't have kids yet. Of course, as I pointed out to him, Bella told me that Alice had had her kids' names picked out since the seventh grade and nothing as inconsequential as his wishes would sway her. He laughed, but he didn't disagree. That's another reason having a boy would be easier – Bella and I can't agree on a girl's name. Here's hoping for that Y chromosome.

Whit and Alice are living in Houston now, which Whitlock thinks is perfect. Alice isn't so sure, though she does appreciate the shopping that a large city provides. Whitlock is now a brand new U.S. Marshall, so his dreams are all coming true for him too. He's finally part of a family and I consider him a brother. Cassidy calls him Uncle Whit. Bella teases him and calls him Uncle Halfwit. He loves it. He retaliates and calls her Mrs. Hollywood. I don't love _that_, but Bella seems to get a kick out of it.

Rose and Emmett didn't talk for a long time after they broke up. It wasn't hostile or anything, they just sort of lost touch. Then last year they ran into each other at a bar and suddenly they started talking again. A lot. No one is holding their breath or anything, but it looks promising. Alice insists that they're soul mates and fated to spend their lives together. Whatever. Sometimes that girl is just weird. I love her, but sometimes she reminds of a Chihuahua on angel dust._ I_ think Rose and Em are both just tired of fucking pretty much anything with a pulse, but that's just me. I wouldn't mind having Emmett as a brother-in-law. He's a goof, but he's a good guy. We'll see how it all works out.

Whit got out of the Army about six months before me due to an injury. He got in a car accident stateside of all things. Anyway, his knee was fucked up for a while, but he's recovered well enough to be chasing the bad guys. A few months ago a new guy joined the unit I was in. He was young and scared and didn't have a fucking clue. Basically, he was me five years ago. He had a new wife and baby back home and they were hoping to join him at the base as soon as housing opened up. I kind of took him under my wing as much as I could. It felt good to be doing the helping for once. And he kind of reminded me of Lurch. He was big and gentle and soft-spoken. I have his address and I plan to keep in touch. He'll do okay.

Last year, Whitlock and I went to the National Cemetery near Lurch's hometown and visited his grave. We agreed that we won't go back. Lurch isn't really there. We won't forget him, but we don't need a gravestone to remember. I've heard from his parents several times and Whit and I remember to call them on his birthday, which is just two days before Christmas. Lurch is still our missing piece, but we'd be stupid not to grab what life has offered us with both hands. Besides, if we sat around and moped, Lurch would somehow manage to come back just long enough to kick our asses with those size 16s of his. That is not an ass kicking I care to endure, thank you very much. So we remember, but we don't dwell.

Tomorrow we'll be among family again and that will be awesome. Everyone is excited about the baby, especially Renee who had discovered much to her surprise that she absolutely adores being a grandmother. Who would have guessed? Charlie spoils Cassidy rotten, but he and Carlisle are in some kind of competition to see who can be the most outrageous in their efforts to spoil her. Cassidy loves it, of course, and is well aware that she has both of them wrapped around her little finger. Still, she's drawn to my mom the most. They have many of the same traits and characteristics and it's funny to see them mirror each other without even thinking about it. We call her Esme's mini-me. Cassidy isn't amused by this. Neither, for that matter, is Renee. But they put up with it, mostly because they know we won't stop anyway.

That's what families do – annoy the shit out of each other just because they can. It's our way of expressing love and affection. Trust me on this.

Now, looking at my girls, all I can do is be amazed at how much I love them – and even more amazing – how much they love _me_. I'm still a fuck up, but my inglorious moments of asshattery are coming with less frequency now. I guess that's called growing up. I can live with it. I hear Cassidy giggle and I watch as Bella teases her and I know that everything we've been through was absolutely worth it…just to see them like this and to know that we've got each other's backs. That's also what families do – they stick together.

Bella and I weren't ready for love, but somehow, it was ready for us.

And it's all worked out.

I smile, thinking of another important person we'll visit when we're back home. Mrs. DiGorgio will be very proud. Hell, _I'm_ proud too. Bella looks up at me and smiles tenderly, one hand on Cassidy's head and the other on her belly. Somehow, out of all the mess and drama and unexpected miracles, we've forged a life.

And it is _good_.

_**Four months, three weeks and two days later…**_

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Matthews,

I'm sending you some pictures of Eric Matthew Cullen, who arrived on the 7th. He weighed in at 7 pounds 7 ounces and was born at 7:17 p.m. I guess he likes the number seven. Anyway, I had promised I would send pictures the last time we talked and here they are. First, thank you for allowing us to use your son's name for our own son. It was an honor to serve with your son, but it was my privilege to be his friend even more. I hope that our own Eric will grow up to be the man that your son was. Second, your Eric will never be forgotten as long as Whitlock and I are around.

Jasper sends his love. He and Alice have just found out that they're expecting a baby too. I'm sure he'll be in touch soon. We both think of Eric – and of you – all the time.

Thank you,

Edward A. Cullen


End file.
